While jealousy is a natural emotion in relationships, it can be particularly hurtful when it revolves around your partner’s past relationships. Scrolling through their ex’s photos or updates might make you lose sight of your own worth and uniqueness. Keep in mind, your partner is with you because they see something special in you! To help you move past these feelings, we’ve compiled practical tips to stop fixating on your partner’s ex and start appreciating your relationship. Read on to discover how you can overcome jealousy and focus on the present.
Steps to Follow
Avoid comparing yourself to your partner’s former partner.

- It’s natural to focus on the positive traits of your partner’s ex while overlooking their flaws. Meanwhile, you might be overly critical of yourself. This cycle is unhealthy! Break free from comparing yourself to others.
Unfollow or block your partner’s ex on social media.

- If your partner’s profile contains old photos, avoid scrolling too far back. Let the past remain where it belongs.
- If you struggle to resist checking their profiles, enlist a friend’s support. Text them when you feel tempted, and they can help steer you away.
- If it’s too challenging, consider taking a social media break. Engage in hobbies or spend time with friends to distract yourself.
Write down your strengths to boost your self-esteem.

- Ask friends or family to share what they appreciate about you. Document these compliments to reinforce your self-worth.
- Encourage your partner to express why they love you. Questions like, “What’s your favorite thing about me?” or “What made you fall for me?” can help.
Pause and calm yourself before reacting.

- Consider distracting yourself by spending time with a friend or engaging in an activity you love.
- Jealousy is a painful emotion, but remember, it’s temporary and doesn’t define your worth.
Share your feelings with someone you trust to release your emotions.

- You might say, “I can’t stop comparing myself to Sam’s ex—she seems perfect. What if I don’t measure up?”
- Alternatively, you could share, “I saw photos of Alex’s ex on her phone, and now I’m worried she misses their past relationship.”
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Start QuizExplore More QuizzesPinpoint the source of your jealousy.

- You fear your partner might rekindle their past relationship.
- Past infidelity by an ex has made you wary of your current partner’s loyalty.
- Low self-esteem makes you question your worth in your partner’s eyes.
- If your partner cheated on their ex with you, you might worry they could do the same to you.
Marriage & Family Therapist
Jealousy is a natural emotion, but reflect on its underlying cause. Is it triggered by something happening in your current relationship? Open communication with your partner can be beneficial. If unresolved past experiences are influencing you, consider seeking professional guidance to build healthier ways to cope.
Share your feelings openly with your partner.

- For instance, say, "I’m really happy we’re together, but I’ve been feeling a bit uneasy about your past relationship. Can we talk about why it ended?"
- If something specific has made you suspicious, address it directly. You might say, “I’ve noticed you mention your ex a lot lately, and it’s making me feel unsure. Is there a reason for that?”
- If your partner’s actions are unclear, express your feelings. For example, “I’ve noticed you talk to your ex daily, and it’s confusing me. Should I be concerned?” If they’re not fully committed, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship.
Ask your partner why their previous relationship didn’t work out.

- You could ask, “Can you tell me why things didn’t work out with your ex?” or “What led to your mutual decision to end things?”
- Limit your questions to avoid overwhelming your partner. A simple, “Why did you and your ex break up?” is enough. Avoid turning it into an interrogation, as this could strain your relationship.
Strengthen your bond by spending quality time together.

- For example, plan a weekly date night every Friday.
- Stay connected between dates by sharing memes, checking in, and asking meaningful questions. Try asking, “What’s your dream getaway?” or “What’s your favorite childhood memory?” to deepen your bond.
Openly acknowledge your emotions.

- Use encouraging self-talk. For example, say, “It’s okay to feel this way. These feelings will pass,” or “Feeling insecure sometimes is completely normal. I’m not alone in this.”
Seek therapy if jealousy persists.

- Look for a therapist through online directories.
- If you have insurance, check for in-network therapists to make it more affordable.
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Communicate with your partner if their actions, like interacting with their ex on social media, trigger your jealousy. Politely ask them to stop.
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Boosting your self-esteem can reduce jealousy in your relationship. Focus on your unique qualities and strengths!
