Buzz
While receiving attention can sometimes feel complimentary, it isn't always desirable, especially when you're busy or preoccupied. Planning an exit strategy beforehand is a smart approach to gracefully remove yourself from uncomfortable encounters. Consider implementing one or more of these tactics to maintain your comfort and peace of mind while enjoying your time with friends or solo.
Steps to Follow
Politely decline the guy's advances.
Honesty often works best. If someone asks you out, kindly let them know you're not interested. You can be polite yet firm in your response. For example:
- “I appreciate it, but I’m not interested in dating right now.”
- “Thank you, but I’m already in a relationship.”
- “I’m here to enjoy myself, not to engage in flirtation. Thanks for understanding.”
Mention someone you’re currently dating.
This should clearly signal that you’re not available. If you’re single, you can invent a fictional partner. Share details about their job, their current whereabouts, or how you both met.
- If you’re with a group of friends and want to make it convincing, ask one of them to play the role of your partner temporarily.
Stay close to your group.
Men are less inclined to approach you when you’re surrounded by friends. When visiting a bar or club, try to remain near your friends throughout the evening. While not entirely foolproof (some men might still approach a group), it can significantly reduce unwanted attention.
- This is a smart practice for any night out, as there’s added safety and comfort in numbers.
Interact with the guy in a friendly manner.
He’ll understand that you’re not interested. Bring up how attractive another guy is, request that he introduce you to one of his friends, or express how much you value his friendship. If you’ve known each other for some time, he should pick up on the hint immediately.
- This approach may not be as effective with complete strangers, but it’s worth trying with acquaintances or mutual friends.
Keep conversations neutral and casual.
Topics like the weather, sports, and current events are safe choices. If he tries to steer the conversation toward something flirtatious or inappropriate, swiftly shift the topic. By redirecting the discussion, you can prevent him from continuing to hit on you.
- For instance, if he compliments your outfit, respond with, “Thank you! I chose it because of the heat. Have you noticed how warm it’s been recently?”
Suggest pairing him with someone else.
Mention how great he’d look with one of your friends. If you’re in a group, you could discreetly introduce him to a willing friend. If you’re alone, simply discuss how well he and your friend might get along in the future.
- For example, say, “You enjoy roller skating? You should meet my friend Marsha—she’s a huge fan of roller skating too!”
- If the guy is being overly persistent or making you uncomfortable, avoid involving your friends and focus on leaving the situation safely.
Mention that you need to join your friends.
You can’t leave your friends waiting! Politely end the conversation by explaining that you need to rejoin your group elsewhere. If you’re alone, let him know you’re meeting a friend shortly and need to leave. If he persists, offer to take his number and message him later (though you don’t have to follow through).
- For example, say, “It was great chatting, but I think my friends are about to leave.”
- Or, “Nice meeting you, but I have plans with a friend and need to head out.”
Seek assistance from a friend.
Exiting a conversation alone can be challenging. Signal to a friend nearby to come and help you out. They’ll likely be more effective in helping you disengage than if you tried to do it yourself.
- Your friend might say something like, “Hey, we’re about to take shots. Are you joining us?” Or, “We’re leaving soon. Here’s your jacket.”
Do something slightly off-putting.
This isn’t ideal, so save it as a last option. Burp, sneeze loudly, or clear your throat in an exaggerated way to deter the guy. While it might not always work (some men might not mind), it’s worth a try!
- The aim is to make yourself less appealing to him. If you succeed, he’ll likely leave on his own.
Simply disregard the guy.
If you don’t engage, he can’t continue hitting on you. If a man approaches you in public, you’re under no obligation to respond. If necessary, you can even stand up and walk away.
- This is the most effective way to handle someone who’s overly persistent. If he’s ignoring your hints or refusing to take no for an answer, it’s a sign he won’t back down.
Exit the situation if you feel uneasy.
You’re never obligated to stay and endure unwanted attention. Don’t worry about being polite—if something feels off, just leave. If you’re alone and feel threatened, move to a crowded area or call for help immediately.
- Trust your instincts; they’re usually correct.
- If a guy follows you or pressures you for your contact information, consider it a warning sign. Seek out a busy area where others can assist you.
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When heading out with friends, establish a discreet hand signal that means “Help me escape this situation!” Consider using a peace sign or subtly placing two fingers behind your back as a signal.
