Buzz
Revive your crush's interest with our expert advice
Confessing your feelings is tough, but dealing with rejection can be even harder. Being confined to the friend zone after opening up might feel discouraging, but don’t lose hope: there are ways to break free and transition into a romantic relationship. Continue reading to discover how you can prove to your crush that you’re worth considering for a relationship, even after they’ve turned you down.
Tactics to Break Free from the Friend Zone
After being rejected, give your crush some space while you focus on other activities. Once some time has passed, engage in playful conversations about shared interests, and suggest spending time together one-on-one if the vibe feels right.
Steps to Follow
Allow your crush some breathing room.
Appearing clingy or overly dependent can reinforce a platonic image. If you previously met your crush daily, reduce it to a few times a week. If you exchanged texts constantly, limit your responses to every few hours. Overwhelming them with your presence might backfire, creating the opposite effect. Often, stepping back can help them realize your value and what they might be missing.
- Use this time for self-improvement. Dive into your hobbies or reconnect with friends you may have neglected.
Focus on other activities.
If your crush suggests hanging out, politely decline. You don’t have to ignore them entirely, but let them know you’re occupied and suggest rescheduling. By portraying yourself as someone who’s enjoying life independently, you might spark their curiosity about what they’re missing out on (which is your goal).
- Even if you’re not having the most exciting time, create the impression that you are. Avoid outright lies, but casually mention how busy and fulfilled you are this week.
Hint to your crush that others find you attractive.
This approach might spark a bit of jealousy in your crush. If the conversation turns to your romantic life, casually mention that a few people have recently shown interest in you. This can sometimes make them realize they don’t want to lose you, potentially helping you escape the friend zone quickly.
- For instance, you could say, “It’s funny, just last week, two people asked for my number! Maybe I’m getting more attractive or something, haha.”
Avoid making jokes that put yourself down.
Joking about your flaws can reinforce a friendship vibe. While it might feel natural to say things like, “I’m such a mess!” this kind of humor can push you further into the friend zone. Instead, project confidence and avoid excessive self-deprecating jokes.
- Your goal is for your crush to view you positively, not as someone who’s overly self-critical.
Request small favors from them.
Research suggests that doing favors for others can increase your liking toward them. By asking for help, your crush may feel valued and start engaging in behaviors that feel more relationship-like. The next time you’re in a bind, reach out to your crush for assistance.
- For example, if you missed breakfast, ask them to grab something for you on their way.
- If your car won’t start, request a ride from them.
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Take QuizExplore More QuizzesAdd a touch of flirtation.
Remind your crush that you’re a potential romantic partner. When spending time together, lightly tease them and sprinkle in some playful, flirty remarks. While maintaining a friendly vibe, subtly hint that you’re open to something more.
- A subtle way to flirt is by offering a genuine compliment. For example, say something like, “You always know how to make me laugh,” or, “Your smile is absolutely captivating.” This shows interest without being too forward.
- Keep the interaction lighthearted and build a deeper connection with your crush.
Highlight shared interests.
Your common interests could be the key to sparking a connection. When you’re with your crush, discuss favorite TV shows or suggest activities related to shared hobbies. If they realize how compatible you are, they might consider taking things to the next level.
- You could casually mention, “It’s amazing how much we have in common!”
- Reader Poll: We surveyed 878 Mytour readers about their go-to conversation topics with their crush, and 62% said they prefer discussing hobbies and recent fun experiences. [Take Poll]
Suggest spending time together one-on-one.
While group outings are enjoyable, they often lean more toward friendship. Instead, invite your crush to spend time with just you to create a more personal connection. You can still enjoy time with mutual friends, but prioritize moments where it’s just the two of you. This allows for deeper conversations and a chance to build intimacy.
- Plan activities that feel date-like, such as dining out or watching a movie together.
- Respect their boundaries—if they prefer group settings after you’ve expressed your feelings, give them space and time.
Gently introduce physical touch.
Light touches on the arm or shoulder can shift perceptions. These subtle, flirty gestures can help transition you from “friend” to “potential romantic interest” in their mind. For example, lightly touch their arm while laughing at their joke or pat their hand during a heartfelt moment. These small actions might spark new thoughts about you.
- If they seem uncomfortable or pull away, respect their boundaries and avoid further physical contact. Not everyone is comfortable with touch, and that’s perfectly fine.
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Take QuizExplore More QuizzesExpress your gratitude to your crush.
Ensure your crush understands how much they mean to you. You’ve already expressed your feelings, so instead, focus on thanking them for being a part of your life and spending time with you. Expressing gratitude can make them reflect on why they value you, potentially sparking thoughts of a romantic connection.
- For example, you could say, “I’m so thankful we’re friends. I can’t imagine my life without you.”
Respect your crush’s feelings and decisions, no matter the outcome.
They may only ever see you as a friend, and that’s perfectly fine. If a romantic relationship isn’t in the cards, take it as a sign to explore other opportunities. There are many others who would be thrilled to date you, so keep your spirits high!
- Remember, a strong friendship can be just as meaningful as a romantic relationship.
Join the Conversation...
I’m a guy who’s been best friends with a girl since we were kids. I’ve always had a bit of a crush on her, and I think she might have felt the same way at some point, but nothing ever happened. How can I move out of the friend zone and ask her out? I’m really nervous about rejection or messing things up. What should I do?
Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
That’s a great question, and I understand why it feels challenging. In my book, Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating, I emphasize the importance of confidence and clear communication. Try subtly changing the dynamic by giving her compliments that hint at more than friendship, suggesting activities that feel more like dates, or playfully bringing up the idea of you two as a couple to see how she reacts. If she responds well, take it further. If not, you’ll have clarity without much risk. When the moment feels right, you could say, “I’ve always cherished our friendship, but I’d be lying if I said I never wondered what it would be like to date you. Have you ever thought about that?” This approach is honest and respectful of her feelings.
I don’t think you should change who you are just to escape the friend zone, but becoming the best version of yourself can make you more attractive to your friend. Identify areas for personal growth, set clear goals, and work toward them. For example, if you feel out of shape, start a workout routine. If you want more time for hobbies, improve your time management. People are drawn to those who know what they want and actively pursue it!
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