Buzz
Going on a first date is already a stressful experience, but it can become even more challenging when you’re meeting someone you already know. Deciding what to do, how to act, and even what to wear may feel overwhelming, but it’s totally doable! Keep reading for tips on how to bring some romance into your date and win her over, even if you’re already familiar with each other.
Steps
Choose a fresh, exciting activity.
Think about what she might enjoy. If you’ve already shared a dinner or movie date, consider doing something new. This change can refresh your dynamic and offer a fun opportunity to discover more about each other.
- Options could include grabbing drinks, enjoying coffee, trying roller skating, going mini golfing, or taking a nature walk. Anything you haven’t done together yet is a great choice!
- Since you know her, think about her favorite activities. If she’s an outdoor enthusiast, a hike might be perfect. If she enjoys board games, consider a game night.
Dress to make a lasting impression.
Show her you’re taking the date seriously. There’s no need to go all out with a tuxedo or ball gown (especially if it’s just a casual coffee date), but putting some effort into your appearance can go a long way. The better you look, the more confident you’ll feel too.
- Dress appropriately for the occasion. A business casual look with slacks and a button-down might be perfect for dinner, but jeans and a nice T-shirt work well for a ball game outing.
Talk about familiar topics.
There’s no need to overthink conversation topics. If you know each other well, just talk about the things you usually discuss. Catch up on how things are going in her life—whether it’s work, school, or her hobbies. Even though it’s a date, you don’t need to act like strangers.
- For example, you could ask, “So, how’s your brother doing?” or, “How’s the new apartment working out for you?”
- However, if you know her from work, try not to spend the entire date talking about your jobs. It’s not the most romantic topic, and it could reinforce your existing relationship rather than helping it evolve.
Ask her more about herself.
If you already know some things, dig a little deeper. Explore more about her family, who her oldest friend is, or what brought her to your city. You might be familiar with the basics, but now it’s time to learn more about her. Consider asking questions like:
- “Who are you closest to in your family?”
- “What made you choose your college major?”
- “What’s your favorite thing about living here?”
Use your connection to inspire playful banter.
Bring up inside jokes or amusing moments from the past. Don’t hesitate to mention the funny things you two have shared. If you’re already close, chatting and being silly together should feel natural.
- For example, you could reminisce about a hilarious event: “Do you remember when that seagull snatched your ice cream cone? It just swiped it right out of your hand!”
- If she’s a coworker, you might recall a moment from work: “Do you remember what Jerry said at this morning’s meeting? I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud.”
Flirt with her.
Test the waters with a compliment or a gentle touch. Keep in mind that your goal is to progress the relationship, not just stay as friends or acquaintances. Lightly touch her arm, compliment her appearance, and maintain eye contact.
- You could say something like, “That dress looks amazing on you” or “You have such a delightful laugh.”
- If she doesn’t respond right away, don’t be discouraged—it could just be that she’s feeling a little nervous.
Tell her what it is about her that you like.
Be upfront about your intentions and how much you like her. Let her know why you invited her out and what aspects of your connection you’ve enjoyed so far. This will make it clear that you’re serious about becoming more than just friends.
- For example, you could say, “I’m really happy we’re spending this evening together, just the two of us. I always enjoy hanging out with you in a group, and I’m excited to get to know you better one on one.”
- If you’re on a date with your ex, you could say, “I’m really glad we’re giving this another try. I think we’ve both grown a lot, and I’m excited about what’s ahead for us.”
Embrace any awkward moments.
It’s okay if it takes a few attempts to smooth things out. If you both end up laughing uncontrollably or experience an awkward silence, don’t stress! Keep going and continue enjoying the date.
- Awkwardness is something you can both work through, so don’t let it derail the date.
Take your time.
There’s no need to rush into anything physical. Even if you’ve known her for a while, treat her with the same respect and pace as anyone else. If it feels right, a kiss on the first date is great, but there’s absolutely no pressure to take things further unless you’re both comfortable.
- Taking it slow will also show her that you’re serious about building a meaningful relationship.
EXPERT ADVICE
John Keegan
Relationship Coach
Relationship Coach
Observe how your date responds to you. As the conversation unfolds, pay attention to their comfort level with physical touch. Then, gradually build a connection based on their reactions. For example, you might offer to place your arm around them while walking. If they respond positively, it could open the door for more physical closeness.
Ask the Mytour Relationship Coach
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Achieve the Perfect First Date with this Expert Series
Step 1
Get Ready for Your Date
Step 2
Organize Your Date
Step 3
Stay Calm on Your First Date
Step 4
Thrive on Your First Date
Step 5
Stay Safe on Your First Date
Step 6 - Leave a Lasting Impression on Your Date
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If you share mutual friends, avoid involving them in your budding relationship too soon. Let some time pass before revealing your romantic connection to prevent any unnecessary complications.
