Buzz
If you’ve just returned home from a date, you might find yourself second-guessing when the right moment is to text the person and let them know how things went. Alternatively, if you're waiting for a guy to message you, it’s natural to feel a rush of emotions. There aren’t any hard rules on when to send (or expect) a text, but there are some general guidelines for when to reach out, no matter how the date turned out. We’ll discuss when it’s best to text, what to expect if you're waiting for a reply, and offer a few examples of messages to send your date!
Steps
When to Send a Text
Send a text within an hour of the date if it went well. Texting is quick and easy, so don’t leave the other person hanging. If you’re interested in seeing them again, reach out sooner rather than later to show you care. Just take a moment to reflect on how the date went and whether you enjoyed their company.
- For example, you could say, “Hey again! I had such a great time with you tonight! It was so much fun!”
- Alternatively, you might say, “It was wonderful meeting you! I really enjoyed our time together. How about another date soon?”
- Follow your instincts after the date. If you had a good time, let them know!
Wait a day or two if you're still uncertain about how you feel. It’s perfectly fine if you’re not entirely sure about your feelings after meeting someone for the first time. Take the rest of the day and the following day to reflect on how the date went. Ask yourself if you enjoyed their company, if you’re attracted to them, and if the conversations flowed naturally. After considering all of this, reach out to let them know whether you're interested in continuing to date or if you'd prefer to end things.
- For instance, if you had a positive experience, you might say, “Hey, sorry for the delay. Just wanted to say I had an awesome time last night! You’re hilarious, and I’d love to get to know you more. How about dinner soon?”
- If you're not feeling a connection, you could say, “Hey, it was nice meeting you yesterday, but I’m not sure we’re the right match.”
- Pay attention to your date’s body language. If they seemed nervous, avoided eye contact, or maintained distance, they might be unsure of their feelings as well.
Forget the “3-day rule” to make them more interested in you. You may have heard of waiting three days after your date to text the person again, but this approach is a bit outdated. It can make your date wonder if you're genuinely interested or if you're just playing games with them. Texting is quick and easy, so reach out as soon as you're certain about your feelings.
- Though you may fear coming across as too eager by texting sooner than three days, it’s actually better to express your feelings early rather than suppressing them.
Don’t wait more than a week if you want to keep the relationship alive. While it’s important to take some time to evaluate your feelings, waiting an entire week is a long time to leave someone hanging. Even if you’re not interested in another date, it’s respectful to reach out within a few days after the date.
- Delaying your message can make the other person feel like you’ve lost interest, ghosted them, or are playing mind games.
Gregg Michaelsen, Dating Coach
While it might feel safer to follow strict texting timelines, the healthiest approach is to reach out when you genuinely feel like connecting again. If you had a great time, go ahead and say so the next morning without overthinking it.
When to Expect a Text
Take the first step if you don't want to wait. Even if you think it's the guy's job to reach out first, don't hesitate to initiate contact! If you had a great time or want to keep the conversation going, reach out and let him know. He might appreciate you taking the lead, as it can relieve some of the pressure on him to come up with the right words.
- For example, you could say, “Hey! I just wanted to say mini-golf was SO much fun! Thanks for taking me there 😊”
Give him some time if you think the date went well. If you both enjoyed yourselves, he might take a few hours after the date to text you. While you're eagerly waiting, don't be discouraged if the message doesn’t come right away. He might be taking a moment to think of the perfect thing to say or simply busy with other things.
- He may also choose to text you later in the evening, wishing you goodnight and keeping the conversation lingering until you're both on his mind.
Wait 3 days if he’s old-fashioned about texting. While it’s not as common anymore, some guys still follow the “3-day rule,” waiting a few days to reach out after a date. They might believe waiting makes them seem less desperate, so he could feel more comfortable texting you after that time. Even though waiting can feel tough, give him a couple of days to get in touch, or you could take the initiative and text him first.
- He may genuinely be busy with other parts of his life, so try to be patient if he takes a little longer to respond.
Move on if you don’t hear from him after a week. It's never easy when someone goes silent after a date. It could mean he’s either playing games or simply isn’t interested. While it might sting, you deserve someone who wants to keep the conversation going, not someone who leaves you wondering. Take some time for yourself before putting yourself out there again to find someone who’s genuinely interested in you.
Messages to Send
Start with a moment that made you smile during the date. If you had an enjoyable time, share it right away. Reflect on a memorable or funny moment from your date and bring it up in your follow-up message. Sharing a specific detail shows that you appreciated their company and are interested in another meeting.
- For example, you could say, “I had such a great time at dinner tonight. Your jokes had me smiling the entire time!”
- Alternatively, you might say, “Tonight was so fun! I can’t believe you beat me at bowling in the FINAL round, but I still had a blast cheering you on! 😉”
- Another option could be, “Thanks for taking me to that movie! It was amazing. We HAVE to talk about that ending! I can’t believe you predicted that twist!”
Plan a second date within 2 weeks if you're interested in seeing them again. Rather than just texting, make plans to meet again in person. Try scheduling the next date within 2 weeks so the momentum doesn’t fade. If you're thinking of a weekend date, contact them early in the week so neither of you feels rushed.
- For example, you could say, “I had a wonderful time last night. How about we meet for drinks again this Saturday?”
- Another option: “It was great meeting you the other day, and I’d love to hang out more. I know a cozy coffee shop downtown—would you like to grab a coffee there on Thursday after school?”
- Alternatively, you could suggest, “I really enjoyed our lunch yesterday. Want to meet for dinner later this week? How does Friday sound?”
- Reader Poll: We asked 687 Mytour readers, and 52% of them said they decide when to schedule a second date based on the chemistry and connection felt on the first date. [Take Poll]
Keep the conversation going between dates by asking how they’re doing. To keep building your connection, continue talking even when you're not together. Keep it light by asking about their day or interests, helping you get to know them better and build the relationship while you're apart.
- For example, you could say, “Hey, how’s your day been so far?” or “Hey, how are you doing today?”
- You can ask engaging questions like, “What’s your favorite book?” or “What’s your dream job?”
- If they don’t reply quickly, wait about 4 hours before reaching out again. This gives a gentle reminder without coming off as too eager.
Let them down gently if you're not interested in seeing them again. Not every date will lead to a connection, so it’s important to be upfront. Let the other person know as soon as you can while being polite and kind, and give them space afterward to avoid leading them on.
- For example, you might say, “It was nice getting to know you, but I don’t think we’re the right match. Thanks for understanding.”
- Alternatively, you could say, “You’re a great person, but I think we’d be better off as friends. I hope you understand.”
- Another way to phrase it could be, “Hey, Josh. I appreciate the dinner last night, but I think it’s best if we see other people. Thank you for a lovely time.”
How Do You Text Someone After A First Date?
Join the Conversation...
I went on a date with this amazing girl, and I really like her. Things went incredibly well, and the chemistry was undeniable. We even shared a kiss before wrapping up the evening and talked about setting up a second date. It's been 24 hours since our date, and I’m wondering when it's appropriate to reach out and make plans for the next one, without seeming too eager or off-putting. What’s the right amount of time to wait before contacting her? I’m really hoping this works out.
If the vibes were really as amazing as you say, you’re good to reach out now—especially since 24 hours have passed since your date. When the connection is that strong, the timing of your follow-up message isn’t something anyone will overanalyze. Just flip the situation around: if she had reached out to arrange the next date 12 hours ago, would you have thought, “Oh, she seems desperate and clingy”? Probably not. It’s the same here.
But if you’re unsure whether the feelings are mutual, it’s totally fine to wait another 24 to 48 hours just to be cautious. The chances she’s already in a serious, exclusive relationship two to three days after your first date are pretty slim, so there’s no harm in waiting a little longer. Also, waiting shows you have a life outside of dating, which is definitely a plus if you want to impress her. Good luck, man!
But if you’re unsure whether the feelings are mutual, it’s totally fine to wait another 24 to 48 hours just to be cautious. The chances she’s already in a serious, exclusive relationship two to three days after your first date are pretty slim, so there’s no harm in waiting a little longer. Also, waiting shows you have a life outside of dating, which is definitely a plus if you want to impress her. Good luck, man!
While this might not be the most satisfying answer, there are no strict rules when it comes to deciding when to plan the next date. You just need to consider how you feel about the person and what your schedule permits. If you really like her, waiting 24 hours before reaching out is totally fine. Honestly, you probably could’ve texted her right after your first date ended.
For example, on my first date with my current boyfriend, I suggested our next date while we were still on the first one! I invited him to a show the following day, and he was thrilled to spend more time with me :) Don’t overthink it too much—if the person is the right one, they won’t care whether you waited the perfect amount of hours before asking them out again. Just go for it! Best of luck.
For example, on my first date with my current boyfriend, I suggested our next date while we were still on the first one! I invited him to a show the following day, and he was thrilled to spend more time with me :) Don’t overthink it too much—if the person is the right one, they won’t care whether you waited the perfect amount of hours before asking them out again. Just go for it! Best of luck.
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Keep in mind that some people don't respond quickly to messages. If you're not hearing back immediately, they could just be busy and might reply when they get the chance.
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It's important to continue connecting in person rather than just through texting, as it helps create a deeper and more meaningful connection.
Things to Be Careful About
- Be cautious not to come across as too clingy or overly forward with sexual comments early on, as this can be a major turn-off.
