Buzz
Assisting you in determining when to take the next step in your relationship
You’ve met the one: your partner and soulmate you want to spend the rest of your life with. But when you're both in your 20s, proposing and planning a wedding might seem like you're moving too fast. While there's no set timeline for marriage, there are a few helpful guidelines to consider when dating before tying the knot. Keep reading to learn how long experts suggest waiting, and key things to think about before taking the plunge into engagement.
Key Points to Consider
- Experts generally recommend dating for at least 1 to 2 years before getting married.
- Dating for 3 years or more reduces the risk of divorce by as much as 50%.
- Though there's no ideal age for marriage, it's crucial that you and your partner are aligned on your core values and life goals.
Suggested Steps
How long should you date before getting married?
In your 20s, experts recommend dating for 1 to 2 years before marriage. This time frame allows you to truly get to know your partner and ensure your values and goals are aligned. Building a solid foundation of trust is key, especially in your 20s, to ensure the relationship is sustainable in the long run.
- Studies show that couples who date for 3 or more years tend to experience longer marriages. In fact, divorce rates decrease by up to 50% for couples who date for 3 or more years.
- If you're in your 30s, 40s, or older, the advice is the same—dating for 1 to 2 years will provide the stable foundation your relationship needs to endure.
What’s the average length of a relationship in your 20s?
The typical relationship in your 20s lasts about 4.2 years. However, research indicates these years are not always spent consecutively. Younger generations tend to experience more frequent breakups and reconciliations compared to older generations.
Is it too early to get married in your early 20s?
No, there’s no “right age” to get married. Ultimately, the decision about when to marry is yours and your partner's. Some couples marry quickly after dating for less than a year, while others take their time and stay together for many years before making the commitment. As long as both of you are comfortable and excited about the situation, it’s the right decision for you.
Things to Consider Before Getting Engaged
Do your values and goals align? Dating is an opportunity to understand each other's deepest thoughts and values. If you're contemplating taking the next step, assess how well you and your partner complement one another. While small differences are natural, core values—like family priorities and moral beliefs—should largely be in agreement.
- For example, if staying close to family is important to you, but your partner prefers to live abroad, this could cause tension later on, so it’s something worth considering now.
Is the relationship monogamous? Exclusivity plays a significant role in a monogamous relationship—but your relationship doesn’t have to be monogamous. Before making the decision to marry, discuss with your partner whether you both expect exclusivity, or if you're open to a non-monogamous arrangement such as an open marriage or polyamory.
- This is a core value that might be difficult to compromise on. If you are committed to monogamy but your partner desires an open relationship, it could lead to challenges down the road.
Do you get along with your partner’s family (and vice versa)? Family dynamics are a crucial part of a relationship. When you marry, you're not just joining your partner; you're also becoming part of their family. Consider whether you can maintain a positive relationship with their family and how well they fit into your life.
- Building a good relationship with your in-laws may take time, but it’s an essential part of your partnership.
Do your lifestyles align? Can you imagine a future together with this person? If you decide to marry, you’ll probably move in together (if you're not already living together). Marriage is not only about love and romance—it’s also about sharing a living space. Consider whether your partner's way of living complements yours.
- For example, if your partner tends to be disorganized and you prefer a tidy space, you might need to make some compromises regarding household cleanliness. You may also find that you balance each other out in different areas of life.
How do you feel about having children? The decision to have children is a major one and should not be rushed. Most couples reach this decision together, and it’s essential that both partners are on the same page before committing to marriage. This will help avoid any potential regrets in the future.
- When you're young, deciding whether to have children can be difficult, especially if you want to wait a few years. If you're both undecided, it’s okay to marry as long as you maintain an open conversation about it.
How do you and your partner manage disagreements? When you and your partner don’t agree, do you both resolve conflicts respectfully (without yelling or name-calling)? Disagreements are part of any relationship, but it's vital that you and your partner can communicate calmly and respectfully, even when emotions are high.
- If you haven’t yet experienced any significant conflicts, it may be worth waiting before getting married. It’s important to understand how each other handles disagreements before making a long-term commitment.
- Does your partner encourage you to grow? Do they challenge you in ways that are both uncomfortable and constructive, helping you become a better person over time?
Will you stand by each other during difficult times? Marriage is a lifelong commitment. In your vows, you’ll likely promise to support each other through sickness and health, and through wealth and poverty. It’s important that you feel confident in your ability to be there for your partner during the tough times.
- Also, consider whether your partner would stick by you when things aren’t going well. If you can’t picture them supporting you during hardship, it may be wise to reconsider marriage for now.
The Advantages of Waiting Until Marriage
Understanding Your Partner Better Even when you're head over heels in love with someone, there's always more to discover about them. Taking time to date before tying the knot offers the opportunity to gain deeper insights into your partner's personality and what truly drives them. This way, you can feel completely confident in your decision to marry them.
- Ask your partner meaningful questions to learn more about their inner world and strengthen your emotional connection.
SHARE YOUR OPINION
How long do you believe a couple should date before deciding to marry?
685 total votes
This feature is coming soon! Thanks for your interest.
Thanks for participating in our poll!
Take the QuizExplore More Quizzes
A sense of freedom When you're in a relationship but haven't yet married, you may enjoy a certain level of independence that can change after marriage. Of course, you can still maintain your individuality after tying the knot! But when you're younger, it's often easier to keep up with your friendships and personal hobbies if you're just dating.
Financial preparedness Weddings can be pricey, and the expenses that come with them can add up quickly! If you're in your 20s, you may not have accumulated enough savings to cover all the costs. By waiting a little longer before marriage, you and your partner have more time to build financial security, ensuring you can afford the wedding you dream of.
- Alternatively, if you're on a tighter budget, you can still plan a wedding on a budget by making a few compromises along the way.
