Buzz
Are you wondering how long you should date before officially committing to someone? Perhaps you’ve gone on a few dates and are wondering whether it’s too soon to agree to a relationship. The good news is, this question isn’t too difficult to answer. There’s plenty of information about how long it typically takes for a relationship to shift from casual dating to an official couple. In the following article, we’ll guide you through everything you need to know about the stages of this transition.
Steps
How long should you date before officially becoming a couple?
The answer depends on how often you meet and the level of emotional connection between you and the other person. There’s no one-size-fits-all rule here. If you meet regularly once a week, you'll likely get to know each other faster than if you only meet once a month. If you see each other every day, you could be ready to become an official couple after just a week. On the other hand, if you meet only occasionally, it could take several months before you’re ready to take that step.
- Don't stress too much about how long it takes to become an official couple. If you like the person and feel comfortable with the pace, just go with it!
1-3 months is generally considered a "normal" time frame for most couples. If you’ve been dating someone for 1-2 weeks and are wondering when other couples typically confess their love, don’t worry. Many couples who stay together for a long time usually declare their love after spending a few months together.
- However, if both of you feel ready, confessing your feelings before this time is perfectly fine. If you've been friends for a while or often hang out, you probably already understand each other well enough to make the decision to become a couple. Don’t force yourself to keep things platonic if you’re ready to take it to the next level.
- If you’ve been dating for more than 4-6 months without making things official, this might not be a great sign. If you want to progress further, consider having a conversation with the other person about your relationship.
Most people need 5-6 dates to officially become a couple. Everyone is different, so if you've been on 3-4 dates and feel anxious because you're not yet officially a couple, remain calm. Most couples will date 5-6 times before discussing their relationship status, and some even take longer. If you’ve only gone out a few times, don’t rush.
- These dates usually happen over a period of 1-3 months. This means if you're going out quickly, it might be once a week, but if you're moving slower, it could be once every 2-3 weeks.
- After about 6 dates, you’ll have a better sense of whether you like the person. If you're still unsure, you can continue dating, but try to figure out if you want to move forward and take things to the next level.
Signs You’re Ready to Enter a Serious Relationship
You both often talk about the future together. This is a sign that, at the very least, you both see a future for your relationship. It’s a strong indicator that you’re ready for a committed relationship. If your feelings are temporary, you wouldn’t bring up plans for the future, hopes, or dreams related to each other.
- You might say things like: "Let’s go to the beach this summer" or "How about a road trip together in a few months?"
You’ve met each other’s friends. If you've entered each other’s social circles, it’s a big sign that you’re both ready to officially become a couple. People who are just casually dating won’t introduce their partner to their friends, but if both of you are comfortable meeting each other’s friends, it’s a significant step.
- If your friends like your partner, that’s also a positive sign. They might even let you know if they think you’ve chosen the wrong person.
The time you spend together is both intimate and meaningful. If things aren’t serious, your conversations will likely feel superficial. However, if you've discussed deeper values, painful memories, or life’s big beliefs, it’s a strong sign that you’re building an emotional connection, meaning your feelings are headed in the right direction.
- You’ve stayed up late talking for hours, or found endless topics to discuss without running out of things to say.
Both of you are ready for a relationship. If neither of you is still hung up on an ex, seeing someone else, or dealing with emotional scars, then you’re both ready to start dating. However, if there are unresolved issues, it’s best to wait for them to heal before starting something new.
- Beginning a relationship when either you or your partner haven’t fully moved on from past emotional baggage can lead to complications down the road. Don’t rush things if you’re not ready.
You feel you can’t imagine being with anyone else. The most important factor is how you feel. If you want to spend time with the person you’re dating, build a future together, and experience love, then this is the moment to take the next step.
- If you feel it’s not yet the right time to say yes to a relationship, don’t force yourself, and don’t feel guilty about it. Even if your partner wants to make things official, you should only say yes if you're 100% sure you want it too.
Having a 'serious' conversation
Have a direct conversation when both of you are happy and calm. Discussing this over the phone or via text can be difficult because you won’t be able to observe the other person’s body language. Choose a moment when you’re both in a suitable place together.
- You might bring it up after a fun date or while you’re both relaxing and cuddling on the couch.
Ask if you can talk about taking your relationship to the next level. Take a deep breath before starting the conversation and then ask if the two of you can talk seriously about your relationship. Don't worry—you know they like you, so there's no need to be anxious.
- You can say: "Can we talk about our relationship? I just want to know what you think and if you're open to us officially being together?"
- Alternatively, you can directly ask, "Sorry if this is a bit forward, but will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend?"
- If you feel you're not ready for this conversation, that could also be a sign that you're not ready to commit to a relationship yet.
Establish your relationship if the other person agrees to be in a couple with you. If both of you like each other and want to be a couple, it’s important to clarify the relationship to make sure both of you understand where things stand. This way, no one will be confused about what you mean to each other. Some people skip this step, but it’s always better to be clear about things.
- You could say: "So, I am your girlfriend/boyfriend, right?" or "Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend, officially?"
- It's also a good idea to confirm exclusivity by saying something like: "We won't be seeing other people, right? I just want to make sure we’re on the same page about this."
If the other person seems uninterested, you can choose to either end things or continue as usual. If the serious conversation doesn’t go as you hoped, take a deep breath. If you're comfortable continuing the relationship as it is, let them know. But if you're looking for something more serious and want to move on, it’s completely fine to make that decision.
- If you're fine continuing and waiting for the other person to be ready, you can say: "I understand, it’s fine. We can just keep things as they are."
- If you want to make it clear that your desires are different, you might say: "I understand how you feel, but I really think our expectations don’t align."
- You can also simply say: "I need some time to think about this. I'm not upset, I just need some time to figure things out."
