How to Adopt Your Partner's Child

Discuss the matter with your spouse and family. In a joyful family atmosphere, it might seem like there are no disagreements, but adopting each other's children can bring about significant changes in your family. Legalizing the adoption process removes the legal rights and obligations the child has with their biological family, while giving the child a new name and making the adoptive parents the child's legal parents. This is a major emotional change for a child. For the child's biological parents, it means that they are consenting to transfer legal custody of the child to the new parents.

• Consider discussing this with a family counselor to ensure that all family members understand the adoption process and that it aligns with the child's wishes.

Understand the Legal Implications. Adoption carries permanent legal consequences for biological parents, adoptive parents, and the child. It's important to fully comprehend and accept these implications. Seek legal advice if you have any questions.

• Biological parents should understand that legal adoption will make your spouse the legal parent of the child. If you divorce, your ex-spouse will still have visitation rights and potentially custody. If you remarry and want your new spouse to adopt, consent from the adoptive parents—not the biological parents—is required.
• Adoptive parents have all the rights and responsibilities of biological parents. In case of a divorce, you will be required to provide child support for the legally adopted child. The child has inheritance rights, which may reduce the inheritance share of biological children.
• The adopted child loses inheritance rights from their previous family. Although the biological parents' relatives can voluntarily gift the child property, the child has no legal right to challenge a will or claim inheritance from the biological family.

Gather the Necessary Documents. You will at least need a notarized copy of the child's birth certificate, marriage certificate, and the biological parents' divorce decree (if applicable). If the biological parents are deceased, prepare a notarized copy of the death certificate.

• If the biological parents are absent but still alive, you must have an address for legal purposes. If no address is available, you must make a genuine effort to locate them. Efforts that are usually accepted by the court include internet searches, contacting the ex-spouse's family, checking phone directories, and reaching out to old friends. Keep a detailed record of these efforts for later use.

List the Assets and Gather Relevant Documents for the Adopted Child. As an adoptive parent, you may have rights to certain assets of the child. This includes social security benefits, veterans' allowances, trust funds inherited through legal channels, court orders from lawsuits, and real or personal property belonging to the child. These assets must be disclosed in the adoption application.

Decide if You Need a Family Lawyer or Will Represent Yourself. If the biological parents of the child are willing to consent to the adoption or have passed away, the adoption process is relatively simple, and you may handle it on your own. If the biological parents disagree, consider consulting a family lawyer before proceeding with the adoption application.

Research Adoption Fees. There are fees associated with filing for adoption in court. For example, in the United States, fees range from a nominal $20 in California to over $300 in Texas. Research the applicable fees for adoption in Vietnam. You must pay the fee when submitting your application. Other costs may include background checks, legal fees for the child's lawyer, criminal record checks, mandatory court consultations, and the fee for the child's new birth certificate. Although adoption fees vary by country, the total cost in the U.S. for adopting a child is typically between $1,500 and $2,000, even if the biological parents have consented and no lawyer is needed (as the child's lawyer is usually appointed).

• All courts have a procedure to waive some or all application fees, depending on your family income and assets. Ask the court clerk about the procedures in your local court.

Complete the Adoption Application Form. The adoption application is a legal document submitted to the court requesting a judge's approval for adoption. If adopting multiple children, you may submit them together with similar forms. The application must be accurate and reflect your specific situation. Missing a detail or using incorrect forms could cause issues for you and the child in the future. Therefore, unless you have legal training, you should not write the application yourself. Here are some options for preparing the adoption application:

• Ask the court clerk for a copy of the adoption application for step-parents. These forms are carefully edited and accepted by the court for previous adoption cases. There may be a fee, so check the corresponding fee in Vietnam.
• Contact local legal aid offices to see if they have a set of forms for step-parents adopting. These forms will be reviewed by a lawyer and must comply with local requirements.
• Hire a legal document preparation service or a lawyer offering legal services. This is the best option if you're applying to adopt a child without the consent of the absent biological parents.
• Once completed, submit the application along with the fee to the court in the district where you have lived with the children for at least six months. You must submit the application in your residence district, even if your home is closer to another court.

Seek Consent from Non-Custodial Parents. This step can be the easiest part of the adoption process but sometimes can also be the most challenging. The adoption application package includes a form for the absent parents to sign and notarize to show their consent. If the biological parents are willing to sign, the adoption process will proceed smoothly.

• Once the adoption is finalized, the non-custodial parents will be relieved of all responsibilities toward the child. Any overdue child support may still be collected, but future support will no longer be required.
• If the child's biological parents are deceased, this must be stated in the adoption application, accompanied by a notarized copy of the death certificate.

Adjust Your Strategy if the Biological Parents Disagree. There are two common situations where you may not receive their approval. First, the absent parents may be hostile and refuse to consent to the adoption. Second, the absent parents may be missing or unreachable.

• If you believe that adopting the child will meet opposition and legal disputes from the other set of parents, you should consult a lawyer before proceeding. The lack of cooperation from the child's parents could complicate the process and potentially lead to a court trial. Unless you have legal training and experience in this area, the court may not only reject your adoption request but also review the custody rights of your new spouse in the child's upbringing.

Make Efforts to Locate the Missing Parents. If you do not have contact information for the child's absent parents, you must take the following steps. It's advisable to consult a lawyer to ensure you're following the proper procedures and adhering to adoption laws.

• In the United States, different states have varying laws, so it's important to follow the rules in your state or locality. A general guideline to note is that if the child's biological parents have not been in contact for over a year and have provided no financial support during that period, the court may approve your adoption application. Understanding the law will help you avoid potential legal issues.
• You should make reasonable efforts to locate the child's parents. Reach out to both sides of the family and friends. Search online and through phone directories. Keep a record of your efforts. If the judge believes you haven't made a good faith effort to search, your adoption application may be delayed or denied.

Publish a Search for the Child's Biological Parents in the Media. If your efforts to locate the child's absent parents have failed, you may request the court to allow you to access media services. This means publishing a notice seeking the biological parents' contact information in any local newspaper. Once the notice has been published, you can continue with the adoption process. If the court doesn't have a procedure for this request, consult with a lawyer, document preparation service, or local legal aid for assistance.

• Once you receive permission to publish in the media, visit local newspapers to print the legal notices. They will assist you in preparing the notice and provide proof of publication as required by law. Be sure to check the costs associated with this service.

Attend the Preliminary Hearing. After the service deadline, there is typically a preliminary hearing where the judge reviews the documents, addresses any deficiencies, and schedules the next steps in the adoption process.

• This is the opportunity for the child's biological parents to appear. If they show up, you can discuss the adoption with them and determine the next steps if they refuse. If the absent parents do not appear, you do not need to provide them with any additional notices. No further attempts to contact them are required unless ordered by the judge.
• Make sure to follow all court orders. If the court requires additional documents or information, provide them promptly without hesitation. If the judge orders a background check, you may be required to meet with a court official and sign a report to provide your information.

Prepare for a Home Visit. While home visits are not required for step-parent adoptions, the judge still has the authority to request one. A home visit is typically conducted by child protective services (or a local agency with similar responsibilities). Cooperate and present your family in the best light by welcoming social workers into your home and answering all their questions.

• The court may order a criminal background check on the adoptive parents. If the adoptive parents have a history of child abuse, neglect, or abandonment, the court may deny the adoption application.
• The judge may or may not want to meet the child. This decision is entirely up to the judge. Some judges do not allow children to attend hearings. It is best to arrange for childcare before the hearing. Ask the judge if they would like the child to attend the hearing.
• If the child is under a certain age—typically fourteen—the judge will seek the child's consent for the adoption.

Attend the Final Hearing. At this hearing, the judge will make decisions regarding the adoptive parents. This is the final opportunity for the child's absent parents to appear. The judge will review the documents and inquire about your intention to adopt the child. The judge will also ask your spouse if they consent to adopting your child and changing their last name. If the child is present, the judge may speak with them. After all procedures are completed, you will legally become the child's parent.

• You may have been scheduled in the court's docket for pending cases. Although this is a joyous occasion, the court may proceed with other cases. Do not arrive with a large group, cameras, balloons, or anything that could disrupt the court's proceedings. The judge is not known for a cheerful demeanor, so it’s best to celebrate at another time.
• Some courts specializing in "adoption dockets" are more relaxed and accommodating about celebrations. During these occasions, the court is specially arranged, and judges often allow photos and a celebratory atmosphere.

Updating a child's birth certificate. Once you have received the stamped document, you can submit an application for a new birth certificate with the child's newly adopted name and proceed to update their school and medical records accordingly.