How to Appear Unapproachable

Fold your arms across your chest. This simple gesture can make you seem unapproachable. Just stand or sit with your arms crossed over your chest. Maintaining this posture for a few minutes will clearly signal that you prefer to be left alone.

• For instance, if you're at school or work and want to discourage interruptions, crossing your arms can nonverbally communicate your desire for solitude.
• If you habitually cross your arms, this tactic might not be enough on its own. You may need to combine it with other adjustments to your body language.

Slouch while sitting or standing to show disinterest. Poor posture is a clear sign that you're not in the mood to chat. Whether seated or standing, let your body relax and curve your back slightly to create a hunched appearance. The more exaggerated your slouch, the more obvious your message will be!

• For a subtle hint, simply relax your posture and lean forward slightly.
• To make a stronger statement, slump dramatically by resting your upper body on a desk or table, rounding your shoulders, and gazing downward.
• Note that if you already have poor posture, this tactic might not work alone. Combine it with other strategies to appear unapproachable.

Scowl or furrow your brows to appear unapproachable. Smiling naturally makes you seem friendly and open to conversation. To discourage interaction, avoid smiling altogether. Combine a frown with a furrowed brow to amplify the effect.

• If maintaining a scowl is difficult, keep your facial expression neutral instead.

Steer clear of eye contact. Making eye contact signals that you're open to talking. To appear unapproachable, avoid looking at others, even if you sense their gaze. Direct your attention elsewhere—downward, away, or at your phone—but never at the person.

• If you accidentally lock eyes, quickly look away and move to another location to reinforce your message.

Stare intensely at people. If you find yourself face-to-face with someone, fix them with an unwavering, unblinking gaze. This can make others feel uneasy, as intense eye contact is often perceived as confrontational. After a few moments, they’ll likely get the hint and walk away.

• Ensure your expression remains neutral or slightly stern. Avoid smiling or showing any signs of friendliness.
• Stay silent or speak minimally during this interaction.

Position yourself behind a desk or another barrier. Creating a physical barrier between you and the person you wish to avoid sends a clear message of unapproachability. Sit behind a desk or table, or relocate to a different room to place a wall between you and them.

• For instance, at a café, choose a seat with your back to the wall and a table in front of you.
• In a work setting, sit behind a desk facing the door or move to a private room to establish a boundary.

Isolate yourself in a distant part of the room. Find the most secluded spot in the room and stand or sit there. Being alone signals that you prefer solitude, which can discourage others from approaching you.

• If you're at a restaurant, bar, or café and want to avoid interaction, opt for a corner table away from others.
• At a social event like a dance, position yourself on the opposite side of the room from the crowd.

Immerse yourself in a group. Being part of a large group can make you seem less approachable. At social gatherings, position yourself in the middle of the crowd to create distance from the person you're avoiding.

• For example, at a wedding or dance, join the center of the dance floor or sit at a crowded table. You don’t need to engage with others—simply being there creates a buffer.

Politely decline conversation. If someone approaches you and you’re not interested in talking, be upfront about it. Clearly state your boundaries and express that you’re not open to conversation. Regardless of the situation, remain firm and direct.

• Even if you’re irritated, you can calmly say, “No thanks, I’d prefer to be alone,” or “I’m not in the mood to talk right now.”

Try saying something like…

“Thank you for offering to keep me company, but I really need some time to myself right now.”

“I’m in the middle of sorting through some thoughts. Perhaps we can chat later.”

“It was great meeting you, but I need to head out now.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for a conversation.”

Respond briefly to signal disinterest. Avoiding engagement in a conversation clearly communicates your desire to end the interaction. Use concise, one-word replies to show you’re not interested in continuing the discussion, and refrain from asking the other person questions.

• For example, if someone introduces themselves and asks, “Hi, I’m Todd. What’s your name?” simply state your name without elaborating. Remain quiet and continue giving short answers. Eventually, the conversation will stall, and they’ll likely leave.
• If they persist, politely say, “It was nice meeting you, but I need to go.” Then, excuse yourself and walk away.

Overwhelm with excessive personal details. Sharing too much personal information can make others uncomfortable. If someone won’t leave you alone, start discussing intimate topics like a recent breakup or issues with your landlord. Dive into lengthy details without letting them interject. This tactic often drives people away.

• For instance, you might say, “My ex would absolutely hate this place. She was so picky about bars! If they didn’t have a fancy drink menu and perfect lighting, she’d complain all night. There was this one time when she…” Keep rambling until they lose interest and leave.
• If this doesn’t work, wrap it up with, “Thanks for listening, but I need to go now. Goodbye!”

• Consider wearing a strong or overpowering perfume or cologne. A potent scent can discourage people from starting or continuing a conversation. Choose floral fragrances if you’re aiming to deter men, as studies show men tend to prefer vanilla and lavender scents—so avoid those.