Buzz
Going out on dates with girls can be both exciting and a little intimidating! Remember, it's normal to feel nervous, and the most important thing is to be yourself, enjoy the moment, and see if there's a real connection (if not, no problem—there are plenty more opportunities ahead). To make sure your dates go as smoothly as possible, we've compiled some expert tips. From making a strong first impression to finding ways to connect and have fun, we've got all the advice you need.
Steps
Being Your Best Self
Exude confidence. One of the most captivating traits for women is noticeable confidence. Girls are drawn to those who seem to have their lives together: you're engaged in activities, have friends, express your opinions, and pursue long-term goals.
- Confidence can come from many places. You don’t need to be a sports star to attract a girl; just find something that lets you showcase your best self. What activity highlights your strengths?
- It's essential to distinguish between confidence and arrogance. Confident individuals are admired for their skills but also for their poise and humility. When you're truly confident, you won’t feel the need to boast about it.
Be authentic. Don't try to be someone you're not – girls can tell when you're being fake. It's fine to brush up on a band she likes so you can chat about it, but don’t pretend to be a guitarist unless you're ready to actually play her a song. Just be yourself, and you won’t need to fabricate anything.
Look your best. Every girl has different tastes, so don’t stress over wearing the latest fashions. Dress suitably for the occasion – no sleeveless shirts at an upscale bar, for instance – and don't overdo the cologne. When you show up looking sharp and confident, you'll act that way, and there’s a good chance the girl you're trying to impress will forget all about having a 'type'.
Getting to Know Her More Deeply
Don't focus too much on her looks. Compliments are nice, especially when she’s put effort into looking great, but don’t let that dominate your conversation. Let the girl you're interested in show more than just her appearance.
- Avoid making sexual remarks about her appearance while dating. Stick to respectful compliments about her outfit, hair, or smile.
Be a genuine conversationalist. Skip the cheesy pickup lines – they don't come across as authentic. When talking to a girl, say what you truly mean. Listen carefully when she responds and guide the conversation toward something that feels natural.
- Keep in mind, the conversation should suit the setting. If you’re at a loud bar, she might not be in the mood for deep or personal talks. But even then, you can share something meaningful about the music, the vibe, or the crowd that shows you're enjoying the moment together.
Make her feel at ease. When you first meet a girl and want to ask her out, it's crucial that she feels comfortable around you. Embrace her quirks and unique traits without being judgmental.
- Even a playful critical comment could be misinterpreted and make her retreat.
- Ask plenty of questions and engage in thoughtful responses that show you're truly listening and interested in what she has to say.
- Keep the atmosphere lighthearted, but steer clear of making fun of her, her friends, family, or anything else that could hurt her feelings early on.
Being a Great Date
Make an effort for the first date. Take her somewhere meaningful. It doesn't have to break the bank, but it should show that you’ve thought about it. Share your favorite restaurant or take her to a scenic location for a picnic. If you know she’s into a certain sports team, consider buying tickets for a game.
- Reader Poll: We surveyed 590 Mytour readers, and 51% said that a coffee shop is the ideal first date location. [Take Poll]
Don’t stress out. Don’t focus too much on planning every detail of the date. Instead, aim to genuinely enjoy the time spent getting to know someone new. Think of everything you have to discover about her, and everything she has to learn about you. If you're enjoying each other’s company now, chances are, she is too.
Initiate physical touch. Whether it’s placing your hand on her back while waiting in line, holding hands during a movie, or inviting her to your place after dinner, physical touch can enhance the connection between you. Just be sure that all physical gestures are welcomed and consensual.
Being Dependable
Call when you say you will. If you promised to call after your first date, make sure to follow through within the next few days.
- If after reflecting on the date, you decide you're no longer interested, give her the decency of letting her know you don’t feel it’s going to work out.
- If you're still interested in pursuing things, avoid playing games. Be consistent in your communication with her.
Introduce her to your circle. After a few dates, a great way to strengthen your connection is to introduce her to your friends. If they get along well, it could motivate you to take things to the next level in your relationship.
Throw in a few surprises. While consistency is key in dating, a little bit of romantic spontaneity can go a long way. Tailor the surprises to her personality—maybe she'd love a homemade dinner, flowers sent to her work, or a surprise weekend getaway. She’ll appreciate your thoughtfulness when you mix it up every once in a while.
Join the Conversation...
WikiLlamaGlider700
I really don't understand the process of getting a girlfriend. Is it just about asking a girl you like if she wants to be your girlfriend, or do you need to go on dates first before asking? I feel a bit embarrassed because I don’t really know, and my friends talk about going on dates, but I don’t want to seem clueless. I've liked girls before, but I've never really done anything with them. How does this whole thing work? Where do you even meet someone to be your girlfriend? What do you do together other than just kissing?
Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
I think the best way to approach finding a girlfriend is to take initiative. Put yourself in situations where you can meet new people. Social gatherings are a great way to meet different people, and the more you expose yourself to, the better. Additionally, using dating apps and social media platforms is a good strategy, especially for introverts who may find it easier than meeting people face-to-face. But be careful not to seem desperate in your search for a girlfriend. Consider it more of an opportunity to meet new people, and if you find a girlfriend, that’s a bonus!
WikiZebraHugger791
Don't worry, everyone has to start somewhere. Honestly, a lot of people are in the same boat, so you're not the only one. It might sound cliché, but the saying "love comes when you least expect it" can actually be helpful if you think of it like this: Instead of stressing over getting a girlfriend and feeling lonely about not having one, focus on improving yourself, investing time in your hobbies and goals, and putting yourself out there. Just be open to the possibility of a relationship when it happens.
See all 7 Replies and
Read DiscussionAchieve the Ultimate First Date with this Expert Series
1
Get Ready for Your Date
2
Organize the Perfect Date
3
Stay Calm on Your First Date
4
Make Your First Date a Success
5
Ensure Safety on Your First Date
6
Leave a Lasting Impression on Your Date
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If you're tired of the usual dating spots, consider exploring new environments - joining a club, volunteering, or even engaging in a coed sport could open doors to meeting fresh faces.
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Online dating is another great avenue to meet potential partners.
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Be open-minded and avoid being overly selective. Offer others the same chances you'd want for yourself.
This section offers advice inspired by the experiences of Mytour readers. If you have your own valuable dating tip to contribute, feel free to share it below.
- Make the first date memorable by choosing a unique location that reflects your personality. The key is to focus on enjoying her presence rather than stressing over the perfect plan.
- Dress appropriately for the occasion. Good hygiene and a well-put-together look will make a positive impression. Just don't overdo the cologne.
- Show confidence by pursuing your passions and goals. Women are often drawn to men who lead fulfilling lives.
- Introduce appropriate physical touch to build intimacy, but only if she appears comfortable. Always prioritize consent.
- Occasionally surprise her with thoughtful gestures, such as flowers or a fun trip. These actions demonstrate that you're attentive and care about her feelings.
- Follow through on your commitments, like calling when you say you will, and introduce her to your friends to show you're serious about the relationship.
Important Notes
- Parks, coffee shops, and soda fountains make great first date spots. Water-based activities like beaches or pools are better saved for when you're more comfortable with one another. It could be awkward for her to reveal too much skin so early, and for you, it may feel too bold to ask her to do so.
- Make sure the girl you're interested in isn't already in a relationship. You wouldn't want to get involved with someone who has a jealous partner.
