How to Argue with Someone Who Always Thinks They're Right

It can be incredibly frustrating to engage in a conversation with someone who always believes they are right, don't you think? Before jumping into a debate with them, it's best to reflect on what you aim to gain from the discussion. Additionally, you should focus on helping them understand your point of view by steering the conversation in a new direction while maintaining a calm and diplomatic tone throughout.

Identify the Root Cause of the Issue. Generally speaking, people who act like they know everything tend to fall into one of two categories (or a mix of both). Some of them are subconsciously insecure, and they cover up their feelings by pretending to be knowledgeable. Others truly believe they know everything and feel compelled to share their ‘wisdom’ with everyone. Understanding the reason behind their stubbornness can help you handle the situation more effectively.

• If you tell an insecure person that they're wrong, it will trigger their insecurity, and they’ll become defensive. Instead, try guiding the conversation with questions, which is a more effective strategy for this group.
• For those in the second group, it’s usually best to let them speak freely first, and then you can try offering a different perspective afterward.

Assess how much you’re willing to risk in your relationship with this person. Before diving into a debate with someone who always believes they are right, you need to consider what you might lose. Think about how important your relationship with this person is, and how significant the debate is to you. Even with the utmost care, your relationship could be harmed because of this discussion.

• For instance, if the know-it-all is your boss, it might be best to let them think they’re right. This way, you avoid putting your job at risk.
• If the person is someone close to you, like a spouse or best friend, carefully consider whether the debate is worth the potential harm to the relationship.

Clarify what you want to achieve from the argument. With any debate, you need to set a clear goal. Maybe you just want the other person to understand your point of view, or perhaps you want them to realize that you’ve been hurt.

Review your argument before entering the debate. If it’s a discussion based on facts, always double-check your information. Where possible, bring up evidence to support your argument. Be sure to look for unbiased sources rather than just relying on those that confirm what you want to hear.

Listen to the other person. Even if they always think they’re right, they still deserve to be heard, just as you do. Give them the chance to speak first, and really focus on what they have to say.

• To show that you are listening, you can nod during the conversation and summarize what you’ve heard, such as saying, “So what you're saying is...”

Ask questions to gain a better understanding. The person you’re debating with may not get straight to the point, and asking the right questions could help you understand exactly what they’re saying and their feelings about the topic.

• Even simple questions like "Why is that?" or "Why do you think that way?" can give you insight into what might be hidden beneath the surface.

Agree first, then present your counterargument. When debating someone who always believes they are right, it’s best to initially show agreement, or at least appear to understand their point of view. After expressing understanding, you can then offer your counterargument.

• For example, you might say, "I understand your point. Your opinion is interesting, but here’s what I think…"
• You could also say something like, "Thank you for helping me understand your perspective. I see why you think that way, but I have a slightly different take…"

Debate gently. If you come on too strong with your argument, the other person may shut down and stop listening. However, if you present your viewpoint in a more gentle manner, they may be more willing to listen.

• For instance, instead of saying, "I’m definitely right," you could say, "Well, this is how I see it…"
• Instead of saying, "The right answer is this…", you could say, "There might be another perspective on this…"

Move the debate away from a confrontational stance. Sometimes, your blunt opinions can cause the other person to withdraw and stop listening, just like when you’re too aggressive in a discussion. In these cases, you might be offering advice or solutions, but the other person is unable to hear you.

• You may find that leading with guiding questions is a more effective way to "steer" the other person’s thinking in a different direction, instead of engaging in a direct confrontation.
• For example, you might ask, "What made you think that?" rather than saying, "I think you’re wrong."
• Instead of saying, "That’s completely wrong," you might ask, "Have you ever considered…?"

Don’t let tension escalate. Any debate can easily spiral into an intense confrontation. Emotions often get involved during arguments, and both parties may become heated. If anger takes over, the debate will turn into a shouting match with insults being thrown. The anger will intensify when arguing with someone who always believes they are right, as they can easily frustrate you. However, to achieve your goal, staying calm is key.

• If you feel your temper rising, take a moment to breathe deeply. It’s even better if you suggest a pause and agree to resume the discussion when both sides are calmer and more composed.

Don’t cross your arms. Your body language during a debate speaks volumes. If your gestures suggest that you are not open to the discussion, the other person will not feel comfortable speaking with you.

• Avoid crossing your arms or legs, and make sure to face the person speaking. Also, remember to make eye contact so they know you are listening attentively.

Be open to their perspective. Those who always think they are right may sometimes be right! When entering a debate, you must be willing to admit that you could be wrong; otherwise, the conversation will reach an impasse.

Know when and how to walk away! Sometimes, you’ll realize that a debate is at a stalemate. In such cases, the best option is to end the discussion. However, you must remain polite, or the other person will continue arguing.

• You could wrap it up with, "I feel like this debate isn’t getting us anywhere. Perhaps we should agree that everyone has their own perspective."
• Alternatively, you might say, "It seems we haven’t reached an agreement on this matter. Maybe we’ll revisit this discussion later."

• Be prepared to point out falsehoods or lies. If they present "evidence" that is unverified or biased, counter it with reliable sources.