Buzz
You've got feelings for a girl, you've spent some time together on a few dates, and you've been meticulous about planning every outing. But if you're aiming for something more intimate, doing it in a public spot like a bar or restaurant won't work—so it’s time to figure out how to invite her back to your place. The key is to build trust and ensure she feels safe and comfortable with you. Beyond that, it's actually a pretty straightforward task. Check out these helpful tips for inviting her over to your place.
Steps
Prove that you're reliable and trustworthy.
Her sense of security should always come first. Even after spending a lot of time together, no girl will want to visit your apartment if she doesn’t trust that you'll keep her safe and treat her respectfully. Building a foundation of trust is essential right from the start, so make sure to show her you’re a reliable and considerate person. Look for moments to demonstrate your thoughtfulness and kindness.
- During your time together, be courteous. Hold doors open, check if she's comfortable with the plans, and focus your attention on her the entire evening.
- Respect her boundaries and listen actively when she talks. Make sure she knows that her comfort and safety are your top priorities.
- Avoid behaviors that might give her the wrong impression about your intentions.
- Don't get frustrated with her, pressure her for physical intimacy, or rush into anything too soon.
Set the stage with subtle touches.
To pique her interest, incorporate gentle physical contact. The goal is to make the idea of inviting her over feel completely natural and effortless when the time comes. One of the best ways to do this is by conveying your intentions through casual, unobtrusive touches throughout your time together. Keep these interactions light and nonsexual, such as the suggestions below.
- Place your hand on her back to guide her to a seat when you’re at a restaurant or bar.
- If you want to capture her attention, lightly touch her hand to establish eye contact.
- With her consent, you can even offer a small, considerate gesture. If she has an eyelash on her face, gently remove it for her!
Ensure your apartment is inviting for a date.
Girls appreciate a clean, safe, and private space to return to. While some factors, like having a roommate, are out of your control, never invite a girl back if there are safety concerns. On the other hand, keeping your apartment tidy is entirely within your reach. While it’s essential that your bedroom looks presentable, a sparkling bathroom will earn you extra points too!
- If you share your space with a roommate, give them a heads up beforehand. This allows them to either stay in their room or at least be courteous (and fully dressed!) when your date arrives.
- A tidy room means clean sheets, clothes picked up from the floor, and a fresh, pleasant scent.
Make it easy for her to get to you.
Making things easier for her improves your chances. If she has any obstacles that might prevent her from agreeing to visit your apartment, try to help her overcome them. This could include offering to arrange a ride for her, or, if she’s out with friends, helping them get home as well. Not only will this make it more likely that she’ll accept the invitation, but it will also show that you're thoughtful and considerate—two qualities that girls really appreciate!
- If she needs to stop by her place to let her dog out, make sure you prioritize that.
- If she wants to come over but has an early commitment, promise to get her home in time and make sure you stick to your word.
- Most girls prefer not to hook up in a public venue. The easier you make it for her to come back to your place, the more likely she is to accept!
- Reader Poll: We asked 1862 Mytour readers, and only 9% chose a public place like a bar or club as their preferred location for a one-night stand. [Take Poll]
Choose a date venue close to your apartment.
A natural flow to the evening is key, and long travel times can interrupt that. An hour-long taxi ride from your date's location to your apartment can kill the vibe. Once you’ve built a solid connection with her, selecting a location nearby your place can really help the evening progress seamlessly!
- You can also use your local knowledge to add excitement to the date.
- Pick a bar or restaurant where you're familiar with the staff. Greet the servers you know, recommend your favorite menu items, and share some fun facts about the place if you’re in the know.
- Additionally, you’ll avoid accidentally choosing a spot that’s too noisy, messy, or disappointing.
Give her a reason to visit your place other than the obvious.
For a smooth transition, offer her a specific reason to come to yours. While she’ll likely realize that your invitation is about privacy, she’ll still want it to come up naturally in conversation. She may not be ready for a direct invitation to hook up just yet. Here are some great ways to guide the conversation toward inviting her back to your place without it feeling forced:
- "If you love dogs, you’ll absolutely adore my golden retriever, Sassy. We could swing by my place and meet her if you want."
- "I never imagined I’d meet someone who loves Monopoly as much as I do! How about we go back to mine for a game after finishing these drinks?"
- "I have a bottle of my favorite Malbec at home. I think you’d love it. Want to swing by and share a glass with me?"
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Leverage your genuine self to provide another reason for her to come over. On every date, it's essential to build a connection with her through mutual respect, shared knowledge, and fun experiences. However, if you’re hoping to end the evening at your apartment, consider revealing personal details that might give her an extra incentive to come to your place.
- Tell her that you’re a trained pianist, and later in the night, you can offer to play her favorite tune.
- Mention that your roots are Scottish and that you’ve got tons of photos from a memorable trip to the highlands. If she shows interest, invite her to take a look at them.
- Let her know you have a knack for gardening and that your sunflowers just bloomed. You could even offer to pick one for her from your garden!
Keep your cool.
One surefire way to spoil the night is by rushing things. Your approach should be subtle, hinting at your intentions without making her feel rushed or pressured. Enjoy the evening with her and let it unfold naturally. She should never question if the date was only about physical attraction to you.
- Don’t hurry through dinner just to ask her back to your place.
- Instead, view the night as two distinct dates: the night out and the time spent at your apartment. Let each part of the evening end naturally before moving on.
- If she’s up for it, be open to changing locations. This will show her that you’re not just thinking about one goal but genuinely enjoying her company.
- You could have invited her to your place after the first spot, but you waited because you were enjoying the moment together!
Give her personal space in your home.
Your goal is to make her feel at ease, especially when she's at your place. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is rushing straight into physical intimacy as soon as the door closes behind you. This can completely spoil the atmosphere and make her uncomfortable. Remember, you both likely came over for a reason (a glass of wine, a game, etc.). Even if physical closeness is on the horizon, she might want to stick to the original plan!
- Let her know you’re really happy she’s over, but if she ever wants to leave, you’ll help arrange her ride.
- Don’t crowd her right away, whether you’re on the couch or in the bedroom. Let her have her space until it feels right to make a move.
- Take things slow. Consent is essential, and the key to success is making sure you don’t rush and stay open with communication.
Keep the conversation going.
When you two are alone, make sure to clearly express your intentions. Open communication about physical boundaries is crucial for mutual safety and enjoyment, and it can also be a great way to naturally progress. If you’re feeling a good connection and think you’re ready for a more intimate moment, ask her how she feels about taking things further.
- "I think you’re amazing. Would it be alright if I kissed you?"
- "I’ve had such a great time with you. Would you like to go to the bedroom?"
- Remember, consent is key, and it’s important to check in with her as you move forward in your physical connection.
- Keep the lines of communication open and continue asking for and giving consent throughout the evening. You’ve got this!
Text her to come over.
If you know her well, consider starting your date at your apartment. Once you’ve spent a few fun dates together, you could invite her to your place for a casual movie night, cooking dinner, or even just listening to music. Here are some text ideas that might help you get her over to your place:
- “I can’t believe you haven’t seen Dune yet! How about coming over to watch it at my place this Friday? 🤠🎑”
- “How about I cook for you this Saturday? I’ve got a mushroom risotto recipe I’m dying to try (plus, I’d love to see you 😇).”
- “Are you free Sunday? I remember you said you hadn’t heard Electric Light Orchestra’s latest album. I have a great speaker setup—we could listen to it together if that sounds fun to you! 🥰”
Don’t take it personally if she declines.
If she turns you down, getting upset will only hurt you later. Remember, it’s completely her choice whether or not she wants to hang out at your place. Even though it might feel disappointing, she deserves to be treated with respect and understanding if she’s too busy. Sometimes, it might just not be the right time for her, but if you react negatively, it could close the door on future opportunities. Instead, stay cool and kind.
- Let her know you’re completely fine with her decision.
- Tell her you enjoy spending time with her and hope to hang out again soon, but you want to make sure it works for both of you.
- For extra brownie points, offer to arrange a ride for her or even take her home yourself!
