How to Ask a Girl to Dance at a Club

Asking a girl to dance at a nightclub can be a significant challenge for many guys. These venues tend to be loud, packed, and full of strangers, which can make approaching someone seem intimidating. However, people go to these places to have fun and relax – and that’s the secret to dancing with girls at entertainment clubs. Be confident, have fun, and let yourself relax. If you're ready to step out and express yourself, you'll find a dance partner in no time.

Start a conversation with a girl at the bar or near the dance floor. The secret to finding a dance partner is no secret at all – it's simply about starting a conversation. Look into her eyes, greet her, and introduce yourself. You may feel a bit nervous, but this is much easier and more effective than old pickup lines or just sitting back and hoping she'll come to you. If she smiles back or seems interested in talking, make your move and ask her to join you on the dance floor.

• It may sound cliché, but confidence is your biggest asset when approaching women. Just walk up to her and start talking – you're already ahead of 90% of other guys.
• If you're not great at chatting, simply head to the dance floor and start dancing, usually with your friends. This is also a form of confidence and could help you meet girls more easily.
• Sometimes you'll be turned down – but don't take it personally. She might be with her boyfriend, want to dance with her friends, or just isn't in the mood. Rejection is completely normal, so move on and find someone else.

Head to the dance floor and see if any girls are looking for a dance partner. If you're shy about striking up a conversation or can't talk due to the loud music, just hit the dance floor and enjoy yourself. While dancing, scan the room for girls dancing alone or in small groups. Don't rush over to them. The ones looking for a dance partner might be glancing around too.

• If you're not familiar with dancing, just move to the beat. Swing your arms to the rhythm, relax your joints, and enjoy the moment. You'll fit in just fine!
• If a girl is dancing with her friends or appears to be with another guy, avoid making eye contact and move on. Many people go to these places to find a dance partner, so don't waste your time pursuing someone who isn't interested.

Catch her gaze and smile to see if she wants to dance. Eye contact and a smile are universally recognized signals. Whether it's on the dance floor or at the bar, a natural smile and glance act as a connection between people. In fact, a smile is one of the most effective ways to flirt, so be sure to look approachable. If she smiles back, you can:

• Nod toward the dance floor.
• Ask if she wants to dance.
• Offer your hand and happily lead her onto the floor.
• Dance closer to her as you move along.

Don’t spend the entire night searching for girls. Doing so will not only make you miss out on a great time but might also end in failure. If you focus solely on finding a girl to dance with and try every trick to get one, you’ll come off desperate. Remember, while it’s easier said than done, try to stay confident, calm, and composed. You came to have fun, and even without a partner, you can still enjoy the night. Chat with friends, strike up a conversation at the bar, and dance when you feel like it.

• Never try to juggle "options." There's a high risk that your actions might backfire, and others will see you as a player.

Keep your movements simple and moderate. Don’t try to impress anyone with complicated moves that you're not comfortable with. Just feel the rhythm and move accordingly. Above all, your motions should be smooth, neither too fast nor overly exaggerated. If you want to practice, remember to play some music. A mirror could also help you assess your movements and improve them.

• Dancing is about feeling the music, not performing for others. As long as you keep the rhythm, you'll be fine (listen for the drums if you lose your beat).
• It’s perfectly fine to repeat a move on the dance floor. Don’t worry about changing it up every 30 seconds.

Learn the two-step dance to move with any music in any nightclub. This basic dance step is simple enough to fit any song and any venue. Start with your feet shoulder-width apart. Follow the drumbeat: 1,2,3,4 - 1,2,3,4, and so on. Step your right foot to the right on the first beat. Then step your left foot to the left. Return to your right foot, tapping the ball of your foot on the floor for the last beat. You’ll return to the starting position and keep repeating. Some variations include:

• Raise your arms, snap your fingers, clap, or tap your hands in rhythm. Don’t keep your arms rigid by your sides.
• Spin and sway your shoulders to move your upper body with the rhythm.
• On beats 2 and 4, try landing on your heel facing forward instead of the ball of your foot, or place your foot behind your standing leg.
• Once you're more confident, try moving forward, backward, or spinning as you dance the two-step.

Sway your hips when a girl comes close to you so that your hips gently touch or come near each other. This is probably the most intimate and common partner dance move on the floor. Fortunately, it’s very easy. Place your hands on your partner’s hips and alternate your feet with hers so that your knees don’t constantly bump into each other, then sway your hips in rhythm with your partner. She will probably lead, so just follow her movements, continuing to sway your hips. You can add a twist by:

• Releasing one hand and raising it high or intertwining hands with your partner.
• Both of you bending your knees and lowering yourselves, especially when the music slows down before picking up again.
• Spinning with your partner, facing each other, especially if there's chemistry between the two of you.

Bounce to the beat if you’re not sure what to do. This is the easiest dance move but totally acceptable on any nightclub dance floor. Simply bounce lightly on your knees to the rhythm, while swaying your shoulders back and forth. Raise your arms, snap your fingers, or clap while dancing, making sure your body stays loose and relaxed. If you don’t know any specific dance moves, this will keep you moving.

• Remember to move to the beat of the drums. The rhythm is easy to catch, just listen for the ‘boom-chick, boom-chick’ of the drums, a pattern found in 90% of nightclub music.

Combine simple movements to impress as a skilled dancer. It’s not as complicated as you might think. Of course, complex moves take years of practice to master, but in a club setting, you can impress with just two or three connected moves. Once you’ve mastered the two-step and bouncing confidently to the rhythm, try adding these moves for 4-8 beats before transitioning to something else.

• Shake or nod your head to the beat.
• Spin one knee back and forth.
• Rotate both shoulders and dip them to the rhythm.
• Turn on the balls of your feet.
• Extend both arms in front, cross them, and open them again.

Focus on the drumbeat to follow the rhythm of the music. Whether you're a skilled dancer or not doesn't matter – as long as you keep up with the music, you’ll do fine. Fortunately, the music at clubs is easy to dance to because the drumbeat helps you count the steps. Just move your feet, shoulders, and arms in sync with the ‘boom – clack’ of the drumbeat. Every time you hear the ‘clack’ of the drum, stamp your foot on the floor. That’s the rhythm you need to know.

• Step one foot to the side and then bring the other foot together with it. Then return to the original position. This fast “two-step” naturally fits with any song.
• Don’t try to change or adjust your rhythm to match your partner’s if you feel offbeat; that will only make it harder for both of you to stay in sync. Just listen to the music and move with it – she will do the same without needing your help.

Let your partner lead naturally. In classic dancing styles, men often lead the dance moves on a more complex floor. But on the nightclub dance floor, you don’t need to play the gallant knight, especially if you’re not a professional dancer. Instead of trying to act like someone you’re not, just relax and go with the flow. Follow your partner’s lead. Hold her hand and spin. Bend your knees and lower yourselves together when the rhythm slows down. Step back a bit and take a big stride, even if it’s a bit old-fashioned. Rather than trying to come up with the ‘perfect’ dance routine, just enjoy the moment – she’ll likely have fun with you as well.

• If you’re confident in your dancing skills, feel free to take the lead.
• Don’t grip or clutch her like a child. You’ll ruin the chemistry between you. Be moderate and follow her lead until you’re sure of what she wants.

Let her decide when to increase physical contact. Some women like to escalate the level of touch while dancing, while others prefer to take it slow. Don’t rush it, and absolutely do not start grabbing her tightly. Depending on the situation, you can place your hand in a safe area that won’t provoke a reaction, and let her guide the pace. However, remember these are just suggestions – both of you need to feel comfortable and respect each other’s boundaries. If she’s comfortable, great – if she’s not, stop immediately.

• If you’re holding your partner from behind, you can place one hand on her waist, just above her hip.
• If you’re leading her onto the dance floor, you can either hold her hand or gently place your hand on her lower back.
• If you’re dancing face-to-face, there may not be much physical contact at first. But the simple act of holding her hand and spinning her will be a great way to connect.

Focus your attention on your partner, not on other women. When you're dancing with a woman, you should enjoy the dance with her instead of scanning the crowd for other targets. That’s impolite. If you're not enjoying dancing with her, you can stop and find another partner – otherwise, have fun with her.

Combine movements once you feel more comfortable. As the music changes, change your moves too. Lower your body, loop your arms around different areas of her body (appropriately, unless she suggests otherwise). Occasionally mix up your moves. Above all, keep smiling. You don’t need to put on a show; just have fun. So, be a little open, make her laugh, and keep dancing. If you want a more varied performance, try:

• Learning how to dance
• Learning some basic moves
• Dancing at the nightclub

Don’t treat dancing like a competition or a ‘test’ that you need to win. Most women come to clubs not looking for the best dancer to take home, though many men seem to think they need to pull off the smoothest moonwalk like Michael Jackson. The truth is, the best dancers are the ones who are having fun, confident, and able to stay in rhythm. The dim lights, the clinking glasses, and the throbbing music – don’t worry about being perfect, just enjoy the moment. You’ll get much more than just dance moves.

• If you invite a girl to dance and she doesn’t move with the music or seem to be enjoying herself, it means she’s not interested. Let it go and find another partner.
• Try not to invite a girl from a group of friends. She might reject you in front of her friends to ‘show off’ or because she doesn’t want to be the only one dancing in the group.
• If you’re dancing in front of the girl you’re interested in, make sure to look into her eyes and smile.

• Don’t invite a girl to dance when the music is too loud, as you’ll have to shout in her ear. It’s best to just dance with her and let things flow naturally.
• If you approach a girl to ask her to dance and she suddenly says she needs to 'use the restroom,' consider that a polite rejection. Don’t ask her again when she returns. If she really needed to go, she’ll come back to you.