How to Attract an Older Woman (For Teenagers)

Be Confident. If you want to attract an older woman, confidence is key. As a teenager, you're still figuring out who you are, your friendships, your life goals, and how to fit in. This is normal, but when you see or meet an older woman, you shouldn't let these uncertainties show. Instead, demonstrate a positive self-image. Of course, you're still figuring things out, but you love yourself, enjoy meeting new people, and love having a good time.

• If she notices you're interested, be bold and proud.
• Show her you're comfortable in your own skin rather than constantly trying to fit in.
• Speak clearly, maintain eye contact, and act like you know what you're talking about—even if you don't.
• Insecurities are natural, and knowing she's older might make you feel them more, but you need to project strength from the start.
• Remember the competition you're up against—older guys, college students, or even those who've started their careers. If she senses you're still struggling to find yourself, she'll move on.

Be decisive. Being assertive is a crucial part of building confidence. Assertiveness means you're comfortable enough with yourself to know what you want and can communicate your desires clearly. Instead of appearing weak or uncertain, you need to be clear about your intentions—whether it's getting to know her, asking her out, or suggesting a great idea for a date. While you should respect her age and wisdom, don't always bend to her will just because she's older, or she'll think you have nothing to contribute.

• When you see someone you like, show your interest. Don't hesitate. You can even smile or approach her at the right moment.
• Don't hide in the corner. Just walk up to her, even if it's just to say hello.
• If you want to be assertive, speak your mind and follow through. Be clear, even when introducing yourself.
• It's okay to feel nervous, but try to avoid fidgeting, stuttering, or looking at the floor just because she's stunning.

Gain more experience. It's tough to gain experience at 16, but every little thing you do matters. This doesn't mean you need to flirt with as many girls as possible or backpack across Europe to find the "meaning" of life, but you should do everything you can to broaden your horizons. This way, she'll see you as someone deep and capable of teaching her a thing or two. If she feels like she knows everything and has to "train" you to mature, things will get boring fast. Here are some ways to gain experience:

• Travel. Spend your summer or even spring break exploring new places, whether it's a service trip to Costa Rica or visiting relatives a few hundred miles away. The more you travel and meet people, the more you'll realize the world is bigger than your backyard or hometown.
• Date. You don't need to date many girls just for experience, but dating one or two will help you understand how to interact with women and give you more confidence in flirting. An older woman won't want to date you if it's obvious you've never had a girlfriend, as that's a heavy burden for her to carry.
• Engage in diverse activities. You might love baseball, but if that's all you know and care about, you'll quickly run out of things to talk about. Spend Sundays volunteering, join a French culture club or school newspaper, or explore new passions.

Be more mature. Again, while it's challenging to act mature as a teenager, you need to make an effort to impress her. Women often mature faster than men, and the gap in maturity will be more noticeable if you're a few years—or more—younger than her. You must manage your emotions, react appropriately to frustrating or annoying situations, and minimize cursing, making fart noises for jokes, or other loud behaviors that might only fly with your soccer buddies.

• Part of being mature is controlling your emotions. Show her you're not easily angered or upset, or she'll think you're prone to irrational outbursts.
• Another factor is not complaining about trivial things. If you whine about minor annoyances, she'll think you don't appreciate the great things in life.
• Avoid badmouthing friends or people she might know. She might enjoy gossip, but don't overdo it, especially early on, or she'll think you're too immature to respect those who aren't present.
• Be polite to everyone you meet. If you take her out, treat waitstaff and others with respect. This is a significant sign of maturity.

Keep things exciting. While you should work on developing traits that make you more appealing to older women, don't forget to keep things fun. She likely enjoys something about meeting or even dating a younger guy—perhaps the fact that younger men carry less baggage and worry less about college classes, jobs, or other concerns that men her age often stress over.

• Being youthful and acting foolish are two different things. Sometimes, women enjoy a bit of silliness, so don't hesitate to show your playful side.
• Make her laugh. If humor is one of your best traits, don't hide it out of fear that making her laugh will seem immature. As long as your jokes are tasteful, your humor will shine.
• Keep things light. While you want her to see your depth, you don't need to dive into your deepest thoughts late at night right after meeting her. First, enjoy the fun moments—everything else can come later.

Use your age to your advantage. Don't see being younger as a disadvantage—it can actually be a plus. Your youthful looks, great dance moves, or silly jokes might be exactly what she loves about you. Avoid saying things like, "I know I'm only 17, but…" Instead, act like you're proud to be 17 and that the world is yours to conquer.

• You may not have done much yet, but impress her by talking about your future plans and your excitement for life.
• Show her your energy and enthusiasm. You have more vitality than guys her age—and that's a good thing.

Avoid topics that make you seem too young. While you can't—and shouldn't—hide your age, steer clear of topics that highlight your immaturity. If she's in college and you're still in high school, don't talk too much about Homecoming games, 10th-grade math, or getting grounded for talking back to a teacher.

• Avoid hiding aspects of your high school life, but don't emphasize them either. Talk about family, friends, or current events—help her see you beyond just a high schooler.
• If you're both in school but you're a freshman and she's a senior, focus more on your future goals rather than just how it feels to be new. Being a senior makes her more mature, and if she's constantly reminded you're a freshman, she'll see you as needing to grow up.

Be independent. Older women have mature friendships, distinct interests, and busier schedules. While you might want to spend as much time with her as possible, show her that you also have your own friends, schedule, and needs.

• If you start dating seriously, spend more time together, but if you're just trying to charm her, don't come off as clingy or she'll lose interest.
• If you meet her, don't immediately ask, "When can I see you again?" Stay calm and bring it up a few days later.
• Talk about your schedule. Let her know you have your own commitments. If she thinks all you do is sit at home playing video games waiting for her call, she won't want to see you.

Be a gentleman. If you want to treat an older woman appropriately, you need to act like a gentleman. This might be a new concept for you, but it means treating her with respect and kindness, as you would a lady. If you pick her up in your car, hold the door open for her and do the same when entering a restaurant or any other venue. If she approaches you, help her with her coat and hang it up. Here are some ways to be a gentleman:

• Be on time, or even a little early. Show her that she matters to you.
• Always compliment her. Tell her she looks stunning, beautiful, or whatever fits her appearance that day. Don't hesitate to share your genuine thoughts—it will win her over, as long as you do it tastefully.
• Avoid spitting, scratching, burping, or other rude behaviors.
• Always look polished. Make sure to shower, groom, and wear clean, well-fitted clothes. It shows you put thought and effort into meeting her.
• Take her on interesting dates. Don't just take her to the local Burger King. Even if you're on a budget, try to plan something at least a little romantic, like dinner at a cozy sushi spot or a walk under the stars.

Show genuine interest in her. Don't let her think you're just infatuated with older women and that being with her or talking to her is some kind of prize. Instead, ask about her interests, what she enjoys doing on weekends, and the meaningful relationships in her life. When getting to know her, don't interrogate her, but show that you want to understand who she really is—it's cool that she's four years older, but that's not what defines her.

• When you meet her, ask how her day was. Keep it simple.
• Ask her opinions on various topics, from bands to political candidates she supports.

Keep the conversation engaging. Older women tend to be more confident and experienced, meaning they can hold interesting conversations on almost any topic. While you might spend an hour rehashing last night's football game with your friends, try reading the news, staying updated on current events, and exploring literature to become more well-rounded. This way, you'll not only expand your knowledge but also have more to discuss.

• If you read something interesting that day, share it with her and ask her thoughts.
• Talk about relationships. Discuss your bond with siblings or close friends—avoid ex-girlfriends.
• Share your travel experiences. Even if it's just a summer trip a few hundred miles from home, highlight the exciting aspects.
• Keep the humor alive. If she says something funny, don't just laugh—respond with your own witty remark. This shows you can keep up with her.

Don't dwell on the age difference. While dating a younger guy might initially seem fun or exciting to her, you don't need to constantly joke about how young you are or how much more experienced she is. Unless you want her to call you "kid" and treat you like a little brother, avoid bringing it up too often, or she might think you're obsessed with it—or worse, she might start fixating on it.

• Avoid discussing it in front of others too. If you meet her friends or introduce her to yours, stay calm. Her friends might not even notice the age gap if you act appropriately.

Be yourself. You might get so caught up in trying to impress and charm the older girl that you forget who you really are. Don't act like someone else, or she'll see right through you. No girl wants to be with someone who isn't genuine. Remember, you're building maturity and developing qualities that make you more attractive to her—or to any woman—but that doesn't mean you need to become a completely different person.

• If you have a quirky hobby, share it with her if it means a lot to you.
• Show her the best qualities your friends admire in you. Your peers like you for a reason, so don't hide your strongest traits.

• Shower and brush your teeth before meeting her.
• Assert yourself to make sure she knows you're interested.
• Look into her eyes and listen carefully when she talks about herself.
• Wear clean clothes.
• Make her laugh; if she laughs at your cheesy jokes, she might like you too.
• Try to act mature.
• Learn proper grammar.
• Ask her to teach you something she loves or request her to sing a song for you.
• Act like you're her age.

• Don't be afraid to ask questions.
• Avoid showing fear.
• Don't try too hard to make her laugh; you might annoy her.
• Be careful with step 2; you're not stalking her. A restraining order can ruin a genuine connection.
• Don't ask her age; she'll tell you when she's ready.