How to Avoid Crying When You're Being Scolded

Crying in front of someone who is scolding you is a truly dreadful experience. It brings embarrassment and could impact your reputation at work, school, or within your family. Naturally, crying is a human reaction, but in certain situations, it's important to keep your tears in check. So how can you do that? If you're someone who cries easily, there are ways to manage your emotions (and tears). Additionally, it's helpful to learn how to care for yourself after a bout of crying. You can also minimize future difficulties by practicing conflict resolution techniques.

Pinch the area between your index finger and thumb. Apply firm pressure to this area. Be sure to pinch hard enough to feel pain but not so much that it leaves a bruise. The discomfort will distract you, helping to prevent tears from flowing.

• You can also try pinching the bridge of your nose. This action will stop tears from coming from your tear ducts.

Deep Breathing. When you feel frustrated, simply take slow, deep breaths. This action helps to calm your body and distracts you from the person scolding you, giving you just enough time to prevent tears from coming.

Look Away. Focus your gaze on something else instead of the person scolding you. You can look at your desk, your hands, or something in front of you. Avoiding eye contact with the angry person will help you regain your composure.

Step Back. Keep your distance from the person who is scolding you by stepping back or returning to your seat. By controlling your personal space, you'll feel less vulnerable and less likely to cry.

Find a Way to Escape the Situation. If you can't control your tears, try to find a way out of the situation. You could make an excuse, like feeling unwell. You can also tell them that you're losing composure and need to stop the conversation for now. Find a private place to calm down.

• You can say, 'I'm losing my composure and can't continue this calmly. I need to step out for a moment, but we can talk again later.'
• The restroom is usually a safe place to retreat to.
• Taking a walk to clear your mind is also a good option. Doing some physical exercises can also help you regain control of your emotions.

Find a Private Space. Head to the restroom, a private room, or somewhere you won’t be disturbed. If you need to cry, let yourself cry. Give yourself the time you need to regain your composure.

• If you try to hold back tears while crying, it's likely you'll end up crying again afterward.

Handle Puffy Eyes. Dab cold water under your eyes to treat redness and swelling. You can also apply a cold ice pack wrapped in a cloth.

• If you're at home and not in a hurry, you can wrap a cloth around a bag of frozen peas and place it on your face, or use chilled green tea bags on your eyes.

Use Eye Drops. Use eye drops like V.Rhoto to reduce redness in your eyes. Place one or two drops in each eye. Your vision will be clearer within 10-15 minutes.

• If you cry often, don’t use eye drops too frequently. Overuse can actually cause your eyes to become more red. Twice a week should be enough.
• If you're wearing contact lenses, make sure to choose eye drops that are safe to use with them.

Touch Up Your Makeup. If you’re wearing makeup, take a moment to refresh it. Clean up any smudged eye makeup or other makeup that may have run. Use foundation and concealer to hide any redness on your skin. Finish by reapplying mascara, blush, or anything else that may have been smudged from crying.

• If you tend to cry often, it’s a good idea to keep a small makeup kit at your desk or in your bag.

Let Others Know You’re Sensitive. If you're someone who tears up easily, be honest about it with your boss, colleagues, friends, and family. Emphasize that it’s not a big issue and inform them on how they can best respond when it happens.

• For instance, you can say, 'I tend to cry easily, so don’t worry if you see me upset—it’s completely normal. I always try to manage my emotions, but if I do cry, I may need a few minutes to calm down.'

Talk to the Person Who Scolded You. After calming down, approach the person who scolded you and ask if they would be willing to have a private conversation. Revisit the issue and apologize if you did something wrong. Then, express how their scolding made you feel and politely suggest a calmer approach next time.

• For example, you might say, 'I was really confused when you scolded me, so I couldn’t come up with an appropriate solution for the issue. Next time we face a similar situation, I hope we can talk when we’re both calm.'

Reflect on Why the Conflict Made You Cry. Ask yourself how you felt when someone scolded you. If you identify what caused the tears to flow, you’ll find a method to handle it better.

• For example, if you're overwhelmed by adrenaline, try squeezing a stress ball to relieve the tension.
• If being scolded makes you feel small and inferior, remind yourself that they are human too and will make mistakes, so they have no right to scold you.
• Think back to your childhood—did you often cry then? That trait might have carried over into adulthood.

Consider Alternative Strategies. Think about what you can do or say when someone gets angry with you. Visualize yourself staying calm and in control as you apply these new strategies.

• For instance, if your boss often raises their voice, you might say, 'I’m sorry that you're not happy with this, and I’ll work on finding a solution. However, I need to let you know that I find it hard to focus when you yell. Could we discuss this more calmly later?'
• If this approach doesn’t work and your boss continues to yell, you might want to consider talking to the HR department. No one has the right to belittle others at work.

Handle Stress Healthily. Chronic stress can make you more prone to tears in stressful situations. Managing stress will help you avoid crying. Think about the relaxation activities you normally do to manage stress.

• For example, stress-relieving activities can include practicing yoga, meditation, calling friends, going for walks outdoors, or listening to relaxing music. Try these activities when you feel stressed or overwhelmed.

Consult a Psychologist. If your frequent crying is affecting your relationships or causing issues with your work or studies, it’s a good idea to meet with a psychologist to explore the underlying causes. A psychologist can help identify what’s making you cry often and work with you to find ways to manage or prevent it from continuing.

If you're uncomfortable talking to a psychologist, you could confide in a close friend. By opening up to someone you trust, you're not only sharing your feelings with them, but also with yourself. If you keep your struggles to yourself, you may miss the chance to understand the problem. If your friends are sincere, they’ll offer comfort and help you feel better rather than simply watching you struggle.