Buzz
Deliberately attempting to confuse others is, in itself, a curious paradox. While most people strive for clarity in communication and hope to leave their conversation partners satisfied, some may find amusement in creating confusion. If you seek to bewilder others—whether for fun or to entertain those around you—these methods might be helpful. However, confusing others with malicious intent or for financial exploitation (like fraud) is strongly discouraged.
Steps
Employing Subtle Methods of Confusion
Speak in convoluted, lengthy sentences. Plan these in advance, and deliver them quickly as if they are part of a normal conversation. These phrases may appear logical, but their complexity will leave many struggling to decipher the meaning. Here are a few examples you can modify for different topics:
- "I wouldn’t be discussing this with you if I didn’t think I wasn’t the only one sharing this perspective." (An overuse of negatives that means, "I believe we are in agreement.")
- "The government's proposal to increase taxes was rejected." (The words “government” and “plans” can be interpreted in multiple ways, forcing the listener to rethink halfway through.)
- "Being wealthy is preferable to being poor, purely for financial reasons." (An obvious, yet trivial statement.)
Drop hints about obscure connections. For example, say something like, "That reminds me of my father’s ex-roommate’s friend’s dog who’s obsessed with samosas." You can either fabricate these links or recall actual associations from your life. If you’re aiming for a mix of surprise and humor, this technique is an excellent choice.
Use sophisticated vocabulary. Enhance your vocabulary and weave unnecessarily complex or rare words into casual conversation. This tactic is most effective when engaging with people who don’t know you well or who have a smaller vocabulary. Here are a couple of sample phrases you can use:
- "It’s a solid idea, but could you expand on the excogitation?" (Could you reflect on it in more depth?)
- "Velleity brought me here, but I had a convivial experience." (I came on a whim, but had a delightful time.)
Act as though you share a private joke with someone. In the middle of a group chat, pick someone and behave as if you both share a deep secret. When someone else makes an ordinary comment, exchange a knowing laugh, wink, or subtle nudge with your chosen person.
- This works best if the other person is in on the secret, but with practice, you can keep the conversation flowing smoothly enough that an unsuspecting target won’t be able to challenge the supposed inside joke.
Utilizing Quirky Confusion Methods
Prepare unexpected or absurd responses. A non-sequitur is a reply that doesn’t logically follow the preceding conversation. Here are a few examples of standard questions or greetings, paired with baffling responses you could use:
- "Hi, how are you?" — "You're the first person to ever ask me that. What does it even mean?"
- "Excuse me, do you have the time?" — "No, but I saw it flying that way a minute ago."
- "(any sentence with a technical term or name)" — "Sorry, I'm not really into Pokémon."
- "Good morning" — (grumpily) "I can't believe you got arrested tomorrow!" — "What?" — (cheerfully) "Great talking to you, see you soon!"
Request absurd favors, then act offended when denied. For instance, ask a stranger to lend you her shoes, offer to let you adopt her dog, or assist you in installing your electrical wiring. When she declines, look at her in utter disbelief, mutter "people these days," and walk off.
- Alternatively, use the phrase "kids these days," but only when speaking to someone obviously older than you.
Perform bewildering physical actions. This is most effective if you behave as though you are perfectly normal, then shock people with one of these actions:
- Suddenly drop to the floor and crawl away, or adopt a crab-walk. Graham Chapman of Monty Python used to crawl around during fancy dinner events and rub against people's legs.
- Stand rigidly at attention and salute someone. Extra points if your phone plays the national anthem of your country during this salute.
Confuse someone by rearranging their room. Get permission from someone staying at your friend’s place to enter while they’re away. Then, play a prank on your friend by changing the arrangement of their room in an utterly baffling way. This trick is best left for very close friends with a good sense of humor.
- Snap photos of their room, remove everything, then return it exactly as it was before... but in a perfectly mirrored version.
- Wrap every object in the room, including the furniture, in newspaper.
Confusing Strangers in Public
Fill a mayonnaise jar with yogurt. Thoroughly clean an empty mayonnaise jar (keeping the label intact), then fill it with yogurt. Take it to a public park or a cafeteria and eat it with great enthusiasm, spooning it out in front of others.
Fill a spray bottle with a blue sports drink. Affix a Windex or similar cleaning product label to the bottle. Spray it onto your car window or another surface, then wipe it off with a cloth. Occasionally spray it into your mouth while someone is watching.
- Using an actual Windex bottle is not advisable unless you are certain it’s thoroughly cleaned first.
Walk around with a hand puppet. Go about your day as if nothing is unusual, eating, shaking hands, and interacting normally. After a few people have been observing you for a while, suddenly act shocked by the puppet, scream in surprise, and flee with the puppet 'chasing' you.
- This also works with other unexpected objects. Try searching thrift stores, antique shops, or yard sales for odd-looking figurines.
Post fake signs in public places. Many pranksters mimic the style of signs found in subways or on telephone poles, altering the words or images to include absurd messages. Keep in mind that placing these signs on property you don’t own might draw the attention of police or staff, and could be illegal in certain areas.
Act as if you’re hiding a poorly-kept secret. Pretend to be an incompetent spy, a time traveler, or someone slightly off-kilter. To maximize confusion, start by behaving mostly normal, then drop increasingly strange hints about your ‘true nature.’ Here are a couple of examples:
- Wear a futuristic, metallic suit or other sci-fi attire. Act baffled by everyday objects, like sniffing a cell phone or attempting to ride a bike upside down.
- Carry on a normal conversation, but insert longer pauses between your responses. Suddenly start laughing uncontrollably, then put on a serious face and say, "I need to go back to the asylum now," before walking away backwards.
Organize a public sketch or flash mob. While a few confused glances are easy to get, with a little more effort, you can turn them into laughter and applause—without losing the element of surprise. Here’s how to start:
- For a public comedy sketch, begin with one person in a strange costume or performing an unusual act, attracting attention while pretending nothing is out of the ordinary. After a while, have one or more other characters appear and engage loudly with the first person.
- Plan a flash mob to rush into a location and perform a dance, song, or other group activity.
- Check Improv Everywhere for upcoming events in your area to join.
Confusing People via Text or Email
Feign delegating a major task or catastrophe to someone. Send a casual text to a partner, friend, or family member, describing a big responsibility you’re shifting onto them. For example:
- "Hey, some internet friends from (far-off country) are in town, but I decided to chill today. I told them you could show them around instead, maybe take them to (nearby city)? They'll be at your house soon."
- (To a friend returning from vacation) "Welcome home! Thanks for letting me crash at your place. I’m borrowing some of your clothes for a few more days, but I’ll return the ones I stained by the end of the week."
Carry on a conversation as if the other person is saying something completely unrelated. Start a text chat, but ignore the other person’s responses. Instead, send the following sequence of messages, waiting at least thirty seconds between each one:
- Where are you at?
- Yeah, almost done.
- I don’t think he has any idea. It’s happening in a few minutes.
- You definitely said grapefruit juice.
- Susan’s bringing the ramp.
- Wait, is this going to (other person’s name) too? Cancel everything, we’ll reschedule for next week.
Distract someone with mind-bending questions. Ask strange questions or riddles with tricky answers:
- "If a cat always lands on its feet, and toast always lands butter-side down, what happens when you tie toast to a cat’s back?"
- "If a plane crashes in Antarctica, in what country are the survivors buried?" (Answer: Why would you bury a survivor?)
Send messages flipped upside down. Visit an upside-down text generator, type your message, and watch it transform into upside-down text. Keep in mind that some chat programs, email clients, and browsers may not display these characters properly, leaving the recipient seeing only a series of boxes or question marks.
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Don't try to confuse the same person repeatedly. Eventually, they'll catch on and stop reacting with surprise. At worst, you’ll annoy them and harm your relationship.
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For more inspiration, check out Mytour's collection of pranks.
Important Notes
- Consider the impact of your prank before carrying it out. Some people may react with anger or fear, especially if you are invading their personal space.
