Buzz
Discover how to overcome loneliness and truly enjoy your time by yourself
Being on your own can feel challenging, even when it's a conscious choice. However, this time spent solo provides a great opportunity to focus on you and your true desires in life, which can be an empowering experience! If you're searching for guidance on how to be alone without the weight of loneliness, you're in the right place. We'll share a variety of tips to help you make your solo time refreshing, enjoyable, and productive. Keep reading to learn everything you need!
How to Find Joy in Your Own Company
- Remind yourself of the benefits of solitude to help foster a more positive perspective.
- Take a break from social media, and avoid the trap of comparing your social life to others.
- Use this time to explore your personal hobbies, passions, goals, and interests.
- Enjoy solo outings to remind yourself that being by yourself can be enjoyable.
- Stay active and spend time in nature to elevate your mood and well-being.
Steps to Enjoy Your Own Company
Remind yourself of the benefits of spending time alone.
Changing how you view alone time can help you enjoy it even more. Being alone doesn't equate to feeling lonely, and it’s absolutely possible to find joy and fulfillment during moments of solitude. There are many advantages to spending time by yourself, and reminding yourself of these perks can help you appreciate and embrace your solo time. Here are a few examples:
- You have the freedom to make decisions on your own—whether it's picking a movie, ordering food, or choosing a weekend activity. It’s all in your hands!
- You gain a deeper understanding of who you are and what you truly want out of life.
- Your physical and mental well-being might improve, with benefits like better sleep, reduced stress, and enhanced fitness.
- You have more time to dedicate to your hobbies, passions, and personal growth.
Take a break from social media.
Social media often leads to comparing your life with others'. Constant exposure to posts of couples or large groups of friends can make it easy to view your own solo time in a less favorable light. If you notice feeling down or stressed after browsing these types of posts, it might be time to step away from social media. This break will allow you to focus on your own feelings and experiences, rather than measuring yourself against others.
- Keep in mind that social media often shows only a curated version of people’s lives, which may not reflect their true reality.
- This is why it's important to avoid comparisons based on what you see online. You might be holding yourself to an ideal that isn't based in reality.
Take this time to explore and understand yourself more deeply.
Spending time alone provides an opportunity to truly discover who you are. What do you desire from life? How do you want to spend your time? What are your goals, passions, and dreams? Gaining clarity on these aspects of yourself can be incredibly empowering, helping you create the life you truly want!
- Keep a journal to capture your thoughts, feelings, interests, aspirations, and dreams. Journaling is an excellent tool for self-discovery and boosting creativity!
- Journaling can also help alleviate stress, reduce anxiety, and manage depression, making it an especially valuable practice if you're struggling with feeling alone.
Discover your hobbies and passions.
Hobbies can transform your alone time into something exciting and fulfilling. Maybe you once loved painting or playing the guitar but haven’t had time for them recently. Or perhaps there’s something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the chance. Now’s the time! Here are some suggestions for activities you might want to explore:
- Learn to play a musical instrument.
- Set a goal to read more books.
- Start drawing or painting.
- Sign up for a cooking class.
- Try knitting or crocheting.
- Get into gardening.
- Pick up a new language.
- Start practicing yoga.
- Learn how to code by studying a programming language.
Push yourself outside of your comfort zone.
Try something bold to break out of your routine. If you’ve fallen into a monotonous routine, you might start to view your alone time as a burden. Step outside of your comfort zone and do something new to spice things up! This can help you fight boredom while also boosting your resilience and self-confidence. Here are some ideas to inspire you:
- Take a solo trip to a place you’ve always wanted to visit.
- Create a bucket list of things you want to try within the next year.
- Start training for a 5K, 10K, half marathon, marathon, or triathlon.
- Try something truly daring like skydiving or bungee jumping.
Take yourself out for a solo date.
Do all the activities you would normally enjoy with a friend or partner. Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you have to stay home! Treat yourself to a lovely dinner at that new restaurant you’ve been dying to try, or head to the movies to watch the latest blockbuster everyone’s raving about. Going on a date by yourself is a fantastic way to remind yourself that being alone doesn’t have to be dull—it can be a lot of fun!
- Need more solo date ideas? Check out this fantastic list for inspiration.
Make self-care a priority.
Self-care is a wonderful way to show yourself love and appreciation. You could unwind with a relaxing bubble bath, listen to your favorite tunes, or light a candle and read a book you’ve been meaning to dive into. Or, perhaps engage in something that nourishes or energizes your body, such as preparing healthy meals or adding yoga to your morning routine.
- These self-care rituals help you develop a positive relationship with yourself, making your solo time even more enjoyable.
Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion.
Self-compassion is about treating yourself with kindness when you're going through tough times. If you're feeling down or insecure about being alone, try replacing your self-criticisms with words of encouragement. Think about the comforting things you would say to someone else facing the same situation, then direct those words to yourself. Remember, you deserve the same care and understanding you would offer to others! Here are some ways you can show yourself love:
- Celebrate what makes you unique—your personality, your interests, your talents, and your achievements.
- Appreciate your body for what it allows you to do, whether it's your curls, your freckles, or the fact that your body lets you dance or play sports.
- Repeat affirmations to build your confidence. For example: “I am worthy of love” or “I have much to offer the world.”
Practice gratitude regularly.
Reminding yourself of the good things in your life can shift your perspective. This practice can help alleviate any feelings of loneliness or dissatisfaction with being single. Gratitude has a range of mental and physical benefits, including reducing depression, easing anxiety, lowering stress, improving sleep, and even supporting heart health!
- Try writing down a list of things you’re thankful for. Here are a few examples to get you started:
- Your family and friends
- Your health or the health of those you love
- Your pets
- Your living environment
- Your positive memories and experiences
- Your unique skills, traits, and abilities
- Your education, career, or professional successes
- Your favorite works of art, music, books, or films
- Your cherished spots in nature
Invest time in nurturing the relationships that matter.
There are more people who care about you than you may realize! If you've been feeling isolated due to a breakup or the end of a friendship, reach out to a sibling, parent, cousin, or anyone else you trust. You could even reconnect with an old friend you haven’t spoken to in a while.
- Spend quality time together in person or, if you prefer, set up a phone or video call to stay connected.
- Want to know how others feel about being alone? Check out what Mytour readers shared on the Mytour forum post, "I hate being around other people??".
Offer your time to a cause you believe in.
Helping others can offer a new perspective on your own challenges. Volunteering shifts the focus away from your personal struggles and lets you focus on the needs of others. It can also connect you with other volunteers or people you're helping, which can lessen feelings of loneliness or isolation.
- Choose a volunteer opportunity that aligns with your passions. For instance, if you're into art, volunteer at an art museum. Or, if you're a dog enthusiast, consider helping out at a local animal shelter.
- Alternatively, get involved in community causes that inspire you, such as participating in a beach clean-up or organizing a food drive for those in need. The possibilities are endless!
Spend time outside in nature.
Being outdoors and breathing in fresh air has a positive impact on your well-being. Studies reveal that spending time in nature can reduce the risk of depression, help you bounce back from stress, and improve focus. So, if you’re feeling low about being alone, take a step outside. You could read a book in your backyard, relax by the lake or ocean, or enjoy a picnic in the park—whatever brings you peace!
- If you're looking for even more benefits, try combining outdoor time with physical activity. It’s a great way to exercise while soaking up nature.
- Activities like hiking, swimming, surfing, biking, sunrise yoga, or jogging in the park are all excellent ways to connect with nature and stay active.
Keep your body moving.
Exercise can elevate your mood and make solo time more fulfilling. Physical activity stimulates the release of endorphins, the brain’s natural mood boosters. Whether you try a new workout, explore a scenic trail, or have a dance party in your living room, you’ll release feel-good chemicals and transform your alone time into something fun and active!
Engage with others in online communities.
Online forums and groups can be a great way to stay socially connected when you’re feeling isolated. Find websites or discussion boards related to your interests to meet people who share your passions. For instance, if you’re an avid reader, consider joining a virtual book club. You could also look for online groups dedicated to hobbies like knitting, hiking, gaming, playing music, or sports.
Think about adopting a pet.
Pets are wonderful companions, especially if you live on your own. If loneliness has been creeping in, consider bringing a furry, feathery, or scaly friend into your life. While you’ll still have your independence, a pet can offer companionship and unconditional affection.
- Remember, pets need a lot of care and attention. Before adopting, make sure you're fully prepared to provide for their needs!
Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor.
It can be incredibly challenging to manage feelings of loneliness by yourself. If you’ve been feeling stuck, a professional therapist or counselor can guide you through your emotions and help you create a plan to improve your mental state.
- If you're not sure where to start, ask someone you trust for recommendations, or explore online directories to find the right therapist for you.
Join the conversation...
I’ve been experiencing a lot of loneliness recently. There are times when I’ll just be sitting at my desk, and out of nowhere, this intense feeling of loneliness hits me. It takes over completely, and I can’t seem to do anything except sit there, overwhelmed. What can I do when this feeling strikes unexpectedly?
Susan Pazak, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Professional Life Coach
Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Professional Life Coach
If you're struggling with loneliness, try creating a new routine that nurtures your mind, body, and soul. Commit to this routine, even on days when you’re not feeling up to it. Listen to an uplifting message about hope, self-love, and healing for at least 20 minutes daily. Engage in physical activity, whether it’s walking, yoga, Pilates, or another movement, for at least 30 minutes a day to release those feel-good endorphins. Recognize any negative thoughts you’re having and replace them with mindfulness, focusing on the present moment. Make it a habit to think about positive things every day, and consider journaling about your sadness, worries, and fears in the morning or before bed. Surround yourself with people who bring you joy and support you.
Amy Chan
Relationship Coach
Relationship Coach
If you’re feeling lonely, there are many ways to boost your mood and find joy. Spending time with friends, engaging in your community, and practicing self-care can all help. To get those feel-good chemicals flowing, try exercising—perhaps even sign up for that dance class you’ve been thinking about! Although your loneliness may try to convince you to stay in and indulge in comfort food, resist the temptation. Go out and find activities and people that bring you happiness.
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Read Discussion-
Being alone offers the opportunity to focus on your own desires and needs. Take this time to engage in activities you truly enjoy!
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Everyone reacts differently to solitude. While introverts often need time alone to recharge, extroverts tend to seek the company of others. Recognize which category you fall into and plan your alone time accordingly. For instance, if you're an extrovert, you might prefer visiting a local coffee shop to be around people.
The tips shared in this section come from the real-life experiences of Mytour users like you. If you have any valuable advice to contribute, we encourage you to share it with the Mytour community by submitting your tip below.
- If spending some time alone feels refreshing for you, don’t let others’ opinions dictate how you should spend your time. You have every right to enjoy your solitude however you see fit!
Things to Keep in Mind
- Don’t feel pressured to maintain friendships or relationships just for the sake of having people around. Being alone is perfectly fine, so only bring people into your life who truly add value to it.
