How to be content with being yourself

One of the biggest challenges in life is learning to accept yourself. While this is never an easy task, being content with who you are may just be the most important step you can take toward living a happy life. No matter how life treats you, you always have the opportunity to accept yourself and learn to love the real you.

Become friends with yourself. Often, we tend to have higher expectations for ourselves than we do for others. Instead, try to treat yourself the way you would treat a close friend. Avoid speaking about yourself (either to others or in your own thoughts) with words you wouldn’t say about someone you care about.

Celebrate your strengths. Scientists have proven that we can lead more fulfilling lives by developing and appreciating our strengths.

• Create a list of three personal strengths. These can be very specific (e.g., “I am very good at chess”) or more general (e.g., “I am very brave”).
• Include at least one specific example and one general example in your list.
• Pause and appreciate these qualities in yourself. Say aloud, “I am so proud that I am a courageous person.”
• Think about ways to further develop these strengths. If one of your strengths is “I am very good at chess,” consider entering a tournament. If “I am very brave” is on your list, maybe you should try white-water rafting.

Forgive yourself. If you're not happy with who you are, it might be because you feel guilty about something. Forgiving yourself isn't easy, but it is transformative. To forgive yourself, try this ritual of release.

• Write a confession letter about your secret regrets. Be detailed in explaining everything you feel guilty about.
• Destroy the letter. You can burn it or release it into the ocean.
• Tell yourself, “I leave my mistakes in the past.”
• Repeat this ritual if necessary.

Be kind to yourself. Many people believe that self-care is selfish. In reality, treating yourself kindly is one of the most responsible things you can do. When you take better care of yourself, you will start to feel more deserving of such care. In time, this will lead to greater self-contentment. Here are some helpful suggestions:

• Set specific times when you don't need to work. Allow yourself to rest.
• Exercise. Let those endorphins flow! When you push yourself physically, thank yourself for the effort.
• Get enough sleep. Don’t sacrifice this essential human need. Adequate sleep will benefit both your mental and physical health.

Affirmations. An affirmation is a simple, positive statement about yourself. Think of an affirmation and write it on your bathroom mirror using a dry-erase marker. Read it out loud every morning right after waking up and every time you enter the bathroom. You may feel silly at first, but this feeling will pass, and soon it will help you feel at peace with who you are. Here are a few examples:

• I am a talented writer.
• I am a strong person.
• I love you, ____ (insert your name here).

Discover your unique interests. These are the things that make you feel excited, attractive, and confident. Start your journey toward self-acceptance by creating a list of things you enjoy. Try not to let anyone's opinions influence this list.

• What genre of music do you like?
• What type of food do you enjoy?
• What is your favorite color?
• What type of clothing do you prefer?

Develop your personal style. To be content with who you are, you must embrace and enhance your personal image. Look at the list of interests you've created and follow through with it.

• Combine outfits similar to the ones you’ve seen in a magazine.
• Download some songs from your favorite artist.
• Order food from your favorite restaurant.
• Try to do at least one thing every day that’s uniquely about you.

Expand your horizons. You've only discovered a small part of the exciting things life has to offer! Broaden your interests by seeking out new things to care about and new ways to express yourself.

• Travel to a new destination.
• Try a fashion style, cuisine, or music genre you’ve never experienced before.
• Attempt a new activity every week.

Express yourself. Tapping into your creative side helps you connect with yourself. Finding your own path will allow you to connect with yourself and others, heal wounds, or simply enjoy life more. The only person you need to express yourself to is yourself! Sometimes, this will help you accept who you are.

• Keep a journal.
• Learn to dance.
• Cut and paste collages.
• Try to do these activities once or twice a week.

Understand your core values. Sit down and make a list of your top five core values. Do you believe in integrity or honesty? Frankness or kindness? Boldness or sophistication? By honing in on your core values, you'll have a clearer understanding of what you need to be content with yourself and what you look for in a friend.

Look around at the people surrounding you. If the people around you are negative and judgmental, it can be hard to accept yourself. Seek out individuals who support you and are comfortable with themselves. Minimize time spent with those who frequently complain or cause unnecessary trouble.

Create a support system. Building a network of support is essential to help you feel at peace with yourself. This could be a formal network, such as a support group led by a specialized doctor, or a circle of friends. By empathizing with others, you can also enhance your ability to empathize with yourself.

• Attend a meeting or organize a gathering where friends can meet and support one another.
• Try to do this at least once a month.

Be kind to others. Scientists have shown that when we treat others well, we not only feel happier, but we can even extend our lives! Being kind to others helps you become more content with yourself. Try to treat others well without expecting anything in return, and you'll soon feel better about yourself.

• Compliment the cashier’s coat.
• Give up your seat on the bus.
• Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
• Acts of kindness can be big or small, it's up to you.

Practice gratitude. Whenever you feel insecure, shift your thoughts and focus on your own gratitude. Make a list of five things you're grateful for in that moment. Take time to focus on each one: How do you feel when they are present in your life?

• Think about one physical trait you like. Do you have beautiful hair?
• Consider a quality you possess. Are you good at studying?
• Think of someone in your life. Are you close to your mother?

Strive for acceptance. When we are dissatisfied with ourselves, we often find it difficult to be content with others as well. This works in the opposite direction too. If you stop judging and make an effort to accept others, you’ll soon start accepting yourself. If you catch yourself criticizing someone’s actions, choices, or personal traits, let it go. Remind yourself that it's not your concern.

• Read self-help books to gather more information on personal development and self-esteem.
• Engage more in conversations with the people you meet daily. This will make you feel better about yourself, and others will see you as a perfectly normal person.
• Buy a notebook! Most of the steps outlined above involve listing things or writing. Start a new journal to track your journey toward self-love.
• First and foremost, learn to love yourself! It’s hard for others to like you when you don’t even like your own personality and traits.

• Don’t be overly confident or arrogant, expecting to always be satisfied with yourself.