How to Be Fair

Fairness is a subjective concept, referring to an action that is considered appropriate or just by everyone. The ability to act fairly is regarded as a rare quality, difficult to find in leaders and in relationships. While the world may not always be black and white, or right and wrong, you can improve your ability to treat others fairly by giving them the time and attention they truly deserve.

Set the same standard for all employees. It can be very difficult not to show favoritism at work. Some people will always agree with you, praise you, and even bring freshly baked goods to offer, while others may be a bit more distant and cold. However, it would be entirely unfair to let the friendly employees leave an hour early while keeping the aloof ones late at work. If you want to treat them fairly, you need to set aside any bias and ensure that everyone is treated equally.

• Ask yourself why you genuinely favor one employee over another. If it's because you feel the person you dislike isn't putting in the effort you expect, it's best to have an open conversation with them about this rather than being harsher with them.
• If you show favoritism, the employee you don't favor will feel that you're being unfair and will become resentful of working for you. Fairness fosters a positive work environment where everyone supports each other; favoritism leads to discouragement.

Lead by example. If you want to be a fair boss, set an example for your employees. You must demonstrate the qualities you expect from them, such as diligence, enthusiasm, and teamwork. If you preach one thing but do the opposite, they won’t respect you and will perceive your actions as unfair. To be seen as fair, you cannot be harsh on your employees while being lenient with yourself.

• If you tell employees they must arrive at 9 AM but you consistently show up half an hour late, they will think you're being unfair when you reprimand them for being late.
• If you criticize an employee for being lazy while you spend the afternoon talking on the phone or chatting in the kitchen, you're not showing fairness.
• If employees feel you're unfair, they may harbor resentment towards you.

Set clear rules. Another way to be a fair boss is by establishing clear principles. Employees may perceive you as unfair if they don't understand your expectations. If you set clear productivity benchmarks, let them know what you're expecting instead of expressing anger or disappointment when they don't meet your standards. If you have specific goals for a new project, write them down so employees know what you're expecting rather than leaving them to guess.

• The more specific you are about your expectations, the clearer the rules will be. If you have documents, emails, or notes you can refer to when employees ask about your expectations, your rules will be less arbitrary and more fair.
• If you change your rules and expectations, it's fairer to inform your employees in advance rather than surprising them later. They will appreciate your honesty and feel you are more just.

Don’t let personal biases affect decisions. To be perceived as fair, maintain objectivity when hiring new employees, firing old ones, assigning responsibilities, delegating projects, or handling day-to-day tasks. You can’t just hire people who are similar to you; you need to choose the best candidates. You shouldn’t fire someone just because they annoy you, but it’s okay to let go of someone due to poor behavior. It’s essential to carefully consider your decisions and ensure you're acting fairly.

• Of course, you can't act without any bias, but you’ll be fairer if you make it a habit to thoughtfully consider each decision. If you find yourself leaning toward a particular candidate, ask yourself whether it's because you think they're the best fit or because they flatter you. If you're unhappy with a report from an employee, ask yourself if it’s because you don’t like that person in general.

Allow employees to speak up. While being a boss means setting rules, to be fair, you should allow your employees to provide feedback. Take the time to meet with them individually, ask for their opinions when necessary, and always consider their thoughts and feelings. While you don’t want to be a pushover, listening to employees will foster a fair work environment, making your management easier.

• If you take the time for your employees, they will see you as a fair-minded boss. Rather than acting as if you're too busy to ask about their thoughts, make an effort to listen to their views on the company; this will make them feel heard.
• If you set rules and regulations without acknowledging employees' knowledge or ideas, you could be seen as an unfair boss. Of course, sometimes only you know what's best for the company and can't let employees manage everything. However, if you know an employee has expertise on a topic but choose to ignore them, it may be considered unfair.

Apologize if you make a mistake. Just because you're the boss doesn't mean you never make mistakes. If you've treated an employee poorly, forgotten something, or simply made an error while working, it’s much fairer to admit it. If you avoid taking responsibility, employees will feel it's unfair when you hold them to high standards but don't take accountability for your own mistakes.

• If you make a mistake that affects several employees, it might be necessary to apologize publicly. Admitting the mistake and expressing a desire to improve is far better than acting as if you did nothing wrong. If employees see that you can distinguish right from wrong, they will view you as fair.

Don’t let fairness wear you out. While fairness is an important leadership quality that ensures employee happiness and smooth company operations, research has shown that 'procedural justice'—eliminating personal bias when working with employees, ensuring feedback is acknowledged, avoiding shortcuts, etc.—can cause psychological burnout for leaders. While you should remain fair, it's essential not to let your desire for fairness drain your energy, as it may affect your ability to make sound decisions for the company. Fairness is crucial, but taking time to relax is equally important.

• To avoid burnout, ensure you get enough rest, enjoy a good lunch, take breaks throughout the day, and avoid thinking about work after 7 PM. This will help you stay energized while maintaining fairness as a leader.

Allow all students to speak. If you want to be a fair teacher, you need to clearly show that you respect every student's opinion and ideas. If you only invite a few select students to speak or ignore the contributions of a lower-performing student, it may make you appear unfair. If you don’t allow shy or struggling students to speak, they’ll stop participating in the lesson because they don’t feel treated equally.

• When you allow diverse opinions in your class, every student will have a better learning experience, even the less vocal ones. It’s unfair to only give opportunities to the students you like.
• You can start by calling on students who haven’t raised their hands and ask for their opinions. Even though you should be mindful of shy students, setting standards for participation will encourage everyone to feel more responsible.

Be mindful of how you interact with each student. You may believe you're being fair, but upon reflection, you might realize that you're not treating every student equally. Ideally, you should listen carefully to what students say, pause to allow them to respond, and offer positive feedback and encouragement to all students. When you get home, ask yourself how you treated each student and if there’s anything you could have done differently to be more fair.

• You might even ask another teacher to observe and provide honest feedback. You may discover you're spending double the time with certain students while neglecting others. While some students may genuinely need more help, offering equal time and attention to everyone is fairer.

Find something to praise in every student. If you truly want to be a fair teacher, learn to recognize strengths in every student. There might be a student who performs poorly to the point where you feel inclined to criticize, but try to find something praiseworthy in them, whether it's their attention to detail or their ability to work well with others. If you aim to be fair, you must show students they deserve the best.

• Take the time to meet with each student individually, and let those who struggle academically know they also have strengths.
• Praising students during lessons can make them feel better about themselves, as long as you make an effort to praise everyone at some point. However, criticizing students in front of the class can damage their self-esteem and is not a fair approach.

Ensure that you grade fairly. Grading fairly can sometimes be challenging, especially when you already have expectations about high-performing and low-performing students. However, try to approach each student's work as if you don’t know who wrote it. You can even implement a rubric system to ensure your grades are based on a set of criteria rather than personal feelings. Fair grading is an essential trait of a just teacher.

• When grading, allocate the same amount of time to each paper. Don’t spend more time on the work of exceptional students than those who truly need your feedback.
• Don’t “write off” students. A student who consistently earns a B is fully capable of achieving an A, and you shouldn’t ignore their efforts, making them think they cannot improve.

Understand that treating students equally doesn’t always mean treating them the same. Every student is unique, with their own strengths and weaknesses. When applying classroom rules and interacting with each student, you should acknowledge their individuality while ensuring fairness. Though it may take time to understand each student and their parents, this effort will help you become a more equitable and fair teacher.

• For instance, if one student forgets their homework for the first time while another forgets it for the fifth time, you shouldn’t treat these two students the same.
• While you can’t excuse everyone’s behavior, when a student makes a mistake, try to understand the reason behind it. For example, one student may be struggling due to their parents' divorce, and knowing this can help you guide them better to ensure their success.

Avoid favoritism. While it can be difficult to avoid favoritism when teaching, it’s important to set aside any personal bias as the leader of your classroom. Even if one student excels and behaves politely, you can’t just praise that student and neglect others who also need your attention. If there are students who are struggling, have one-on-one conversations with them, but don’t let this affect your behavior towards them in front of the class.

• Favoritism will tarnish your reputation as a fair teacher, and students will lose respect for you.
• Students who feel overlooked may become discouraged in their studies, thinking that they can never succeed.

Always show understanding. One of the most important qualities of a fair parent is empathy. If you want to succeed as a parent, make an effort to understand what your child is thinking, their life at school, and their relationships with friends. Often, children misbehave for reasons that are difficult to identify, and you may need to put yourself in their shoes to fully understand their actions.

• Before punishing your child or setting new rules, take time to consider how your actions will affect them. Fairness comes from considering your child's feelings before you act.

Listen to your child’s needs. If you want to be a fair parent, make sure to listen to your child. You might think they are simply misbehaving, and you might feel frustrated, but often the issue runs deeper than that. To treat your child fairly, take the time to sit down with them and ask about what they’re going through and why they might be acting out, whether at school or at home. This can help you be more just and uncover the root of the problem.

• Listening to your child shows that you care and that you are making an effort to understand their thoughts instead of imposing rules on them.
• There will certainly be days when you’re too tired to listen. However, make sure you set aside enough time to genuinely hear your child out. Put away your phone or computer and focus all your attention on them.

Give your child what they need. Fairness doesn’t mean treating all children exactly the same; it means treating them appropriately. One child may be more energetic than another, one may have a shorter temper, or one might struggle academically compared to others. To be a fair parent, make sure you provide each child with the attention they need and set reasonable rules and guidance for each individual child.

• Each child is a unique individual, so treating them all the same isn’t truly fair. Instead, focus on meeting their specific needs and responding to them accordingly.

Avoid telling your child “Life isn’t fair!” Although many parents tend to say this in frustration with their children, it’s best to avoid using this phrase. Telling your child this may lower their expectations of the world and could lead them to become pessimistic. Instead of saying “Life isn’t fair” when your child complains, explain the reasoning behind your decision or allow them to express their feelings when appropriate.

• Avoid saying “Life isn’t fair” when explaining to your child that the world doesn’t revolve around them. You want your child to feel empowered to reach their potential in a vast world, but at the same time, you shouldn’t spoil them by making them believe they can have everything they want.

Set clear rules in your home. If you want to be a fair parent, set clear expectations for your children. Let them know when curfew is, how long they can watch TV, what you expect from them academically, and which chores they need to do each day. Once the rules are set, be consistent and stick to them, ensuring that every child follows the same standards. If you need to change a rule, explain the reason to avoid surprising them.

• One of the easiest ways to ensure fairness is by reminding your children about the household rules. If they run into trouble because they thought you had allowed something, they’ll be quick to complain that it isn’t fair.
• If your children have a significant age gap, the older ones might receive more privileges than the younger ones. Be sure to explain clearly so that the younger child doesn’t feel like they are being treated unfairly or favored.

Be a good role model. To be a fair parent, you need to walk the talk so your children see that the rules you set are worth following. Of course, there may be rules you set for them but don’t follow yourself, like going to bed early. But whenever you want your child to act in a certain way, show them by modeling that behavior yourself to demonstrate fairness.

• If you teach your child to be respectful to others but disrespect your neighbors or strangers, or if you tell them to clean up but leave the kitchen a mess, your child will become confused and think you’re sending mixed messages.
• Don’t let your child think you’re a hypocrite by enforcing rules that you don’t follow yourself.