How to Become a 'Bad Boy'

Have you ever wondered why women often find themselves unable to resist 'bad boys'? It's not because these men are bad – after all, no one is attracted to someone simply because they are a bad person. In fact, bad boys tend to be quite appealing because they are confident and decisive – in other words, they are quite captivating. Follow these tips to build your own strong self-assurance and let the world (and of course, women too) know that you are the one in charge!

First of all, be a real man. You have your own time, your own dreams, and your own plans, so you should never compromise these just to please someone else (whether it's about relationships or not). For instance, if there's something you don't like, don't pretend to like it. Be bold and express what you like and dislike – this method will attract those who think like you.

• Discover your own values. What do you like? What do you hate? What makes you unique? What brings you joy? Understand yourself clearly, otherwise, you’re just trying to create false values to ‘fit in’. Do you truly feel happy pretending to be someone else rather than being yourself?

Become the center of attention. You exist primarily to make yourself happy – others come second. Prioritize yourself and your own life. When you recognize your own worth, others, including women, will also perceive you as important. Most people find those who value themselves incredibly attractive – being important is simply amazing!

• In rare cases, never sacrifice your values just to pursue someone you're interested in. Are you chasing a girl who doesn’t seem to care about you? Forget her – your time is far too precious to waste trying to please her.
• Women will appreciate your self-serving nature. It shows that you know what you want and aren’t afraid to go after it.

Stop caring about everything. Constantly stressing over the small things in life makes you less attractive. Bad boys don’t worry about the details because they know they can control everything. For example, if you're with someone you find really attractive, you don’t need to act disheveled. You should relax, as if you’re sitting at home watching TV. This will make everyone around you see that you’re a calm, confident guy who controls every situation, which are very appealing traits of bad boys.

• It’s hard to transition from being anxious to being confident overnight. If you’re still trying to build a relaxed demeanor, slow your movements and actions – this will be a great step to help you look (and feel) calmer. Walk slowly with purpose. Speak slowly but confidently. Avoid hesitation whenever possible.
• Things don’t always go according to plan, even if you’re a bad boy. When things really start to go wrong, don’t stress. Instead, defuse the situation with a witty remark. For example, if you spill a drink on your clothes, don’t worry about how you’ll clean it when you get home. Instead, say, 'Wow! Looks like I’m getting a new set of trendy dyed clothes to add to my collection.' It may sound cheesy, but it shows that you aren’t phased by small problems.

Stop asking for permission or waiting for approval. People who are seen as 'good boys' often wait for a sign of approval before taking action. However, these signs rarely appear, making them indecisive. Be decisive (especially in front of women) and handle objections when they arise. Don’t look to others to see if you’re acting 'correctly.' Take actions you believe are right. You may be surprised by the outcomes of things you would have always waited for approval to do!

• When interacting with women: instead of asking 'Can I kiss you?', skip the permission and just lean in to kiss her. Similarly, instead of asking 'Would you like to go on a date?', start a conversation with her and say, 'We need to hang out sometime. What works for you, Friday or Saturday?' Even if you’re rejected, your decisive attitude will make you more attractive than simply asking for her opinion.
• State your opinion on everything, from choosing a restaurant to how you spend your free time. Understand your own desires, and take steps to achieve them – not only will you become more attractive, but you’ll also feel happier.
• Note: Real men aren’t weirdos or immoral. Be confident, but also consider the thoughts of others. Never force someone to kiss you (or worse) when they don’t want to. Just as you’re aware of your desires, so are they. Respect their decisions.

Take initiative. Remember, be the one who takes charge in everything. Don’t wait for others to tell you where to go or what to do. If your friends can’t decide on something, take the lead and make the decision. You’ll naturally become the leader once you stop worrying about others and start doing what you know you need to do. This doesn’t mean you’re becoming selfish; you’re simply taking care of your own life because you don’t expect others to do it for you.

• Be proactive in every situation – If you want to talk to a girl or land a job, go ahead and take action.
• Also, be the one who leads those around you – If a friend of yours is too shy to talk to a girl, tease him a bit (in a playful, not cruel way) to boost his confidence. He’ll appreciate your help, and women will “go crazy” for you.

Be honest with everyone, especially yourself. One reason girls love bad boys is because they are straightforward. 'Good boys' are usually not. When a bad boy likes a girl, he lets her know. A good boy often hides his feelings or beats around the bush. A good boy will try to be friends with a girl first, thinking that it’s the first step to becoming her boyfriend, but in the end, he remains stuck in the friend zone. Most women can tell when a guy likes them. Bad boys know this and won’t hesitate to express their feelings. To become a bad boy, be honest about your intentions. Most women appreciate honesty – no one likes beating around the bush when looking for their soulmate.

• Women might even appreciate a slightly crude form of affection. For example, both good and bad boys will notice a girl's body, but a bad boy won't care if she catches him looking. This honesty about what he wants is more attractive than trying to hide it and getting caught. Bad boys are upfront about their desires, and they don’t feel guilty about it.

Be independent. Don’t 'need' anyone – it’s great to have lots of friends, but they aren’t necessary for your happiness. Learn to enjoy your own company. You’ll find that the less you depend on others, the more others will need you. Always seek to create your own joy and entertainment. Cultivate passionate interests, and never stop finding hobbies and activities that you want to devote time to.

• Never place a romantic relationship as your top priority or think it’s the only source of happiness in your life. Stop relying on others, especially women, to make you happy – you don’t need them. Men often waste time seeking happiness outside of themselves when the key to happiness is within. When you feel happy within yourself, others will naturally want to be around you.
• Develop personal hobbies – anything you can spend time doing that brings you joy. If it involves meeting new, young, attractive people, even better. Your hobbies should be something you’re truly passionate about, something that helps you grow as a person! If you don’t have or don’t want a personal hobby, at least get involved in volunteering. Use your time to make the world a better place – you’re a bad boy, not an evil one.

Respect yourself – love yourself in a balanced and proper way. A guy becomes a 'bad boy' because he knows that he is the most valuable person to himself. He takes care of himself. A bad boy understands himself more than anyone else, and his opinion of himself is the most important, not the opinions of others. You must have self-respect, and you need to respect yourself before you can expect others, especially women, to respect you.

• How do you gain self-respect? Set standards that you can either accept or reject from others, and stick to those standards. The most important aspect of self-respect is not forgiving those who show disrespect (both men and women) to you or to people who matter in your life.
• A common problem good boys face is that they are always kind to everyone – even those who aren’t kind to them. We are often taught to ignore insults. Unfortunately, in some cases, this approach simply encourages bad people to continue their behavior. Don’t tolerate bad attitudes. Be kind to those who deserve it. Remember, being nice to someone won’t make them like you. Surround yourself with good people, the ones you trust and respect.

Be strong physically, and stronger mentally. As a man, you need to be the foundation for your family, friends, and, especially, someone that women can rely on. Avoid complaining. You need to understand that no matter how much you complain or express your frustrations, it won’t change the situation. Instead, accept and find ways to solve your problems. People who complain often are not attractive, and more importantly, they won’t progress.

• When things go bad, do your best to get through it. It’s easy to get caught up in your emotions when facing tough situations, but remember, you’re a man capable of handling your own problems and can navigate the situation.
• Remember to care for the important people in your life. However, don’t become the “father figure” for others – you should be the most important person in your own life. However, people will value you and turn to you if you’re a guy who knows how to help strongly and reliably.
• Exercise or engage in physical activities daily. Regular exercise will improve your mood, energy, and overall health! It’s an essential part of helping you manage your emotions by reducing daily stress levels. Exercise will also boost your self-confidence and physical appeal – there’s no reason not to exercise!

Understand yourself. Most of the advice above requires you to have self-confidence and high self-awareness. Without these basic principles, it will be difficult, or even impossible, to truly become a bad boy. Ask yourself, "Are these situations causing me anxiety?" and, "Have I really tried my best?" If you don’t like your answers, take these steps to build healthy self-confidence. You’ll quickly become a real bad boy.

Become balanced. You don’t need to become a bodybuilder to be a bad boy, but you need to be healthy. Scientific evidence shows that exercise positively affects self-esteem and can help prevent depression. Exercise has both immediate benefits (through the release of endorphins to reduce stress) and long-term effects (improving self-awareness and overall balance). Don’t neglect exercise – go to the gym now, don’t wait until tomorrow.

• Studies show that moderate-intensity aerobic exercise can improve your mood right away. However, any workout that improves your physical health will make you more attractive to yourself and others.
• For tips on how to build an exercise habit, check out other articles in our section.

Strive to succeed. Consistently taking actions that bring you closer to your career or personal goals is essential. You don’t need to be wealthy to possess immense self-confidence, but you do need to be proud of yourself. Working hard and continuously achieving success will make you feel valued and important – the foundation of a confident personality.

• Everyone (including bad boys) is affected by failure. If you’re struggling in your career or personal life, focus on solving the problem. By persevering through difficulties, you’ll build a stronger character. Never give up!

Do the things you love. Allow yourself to enjoy what you love. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to increase your self-worth – you just need to cook a meal you enjoy, savor your favorite drink in moderation, and take time to pursue your hobbies. When you’re doing things you love, you automatically become happier, and as you feel happier, you’ll become more confident.

Address personal psychological issues. Sometimes, lack of self-confidence becomes deeply ingrained in you. Childhood abuse and painful experiences can form psychological issues throughout your life that negatively impact your self-esteem. Seek treatment to address any issues affecting your mental or emotional state. There are various treatment options available, including counseling, biofeedback techniques, and prescription medication.

• Remember that seeking help to address psychological problems is a sign of strength, not weakness. Real men don’t ignore their personal issues; they find ways to resolve them. Sometimes, this means seeking assistance from others. Don’t feel ashamed of consulting a therapist or counselor – recent statistics from the Central Mental Health Institute show that around 15-20% of the Vietnamese population has undergone mental health treatments.

Understand your own desires. A bad boy knows exactly what he wants from his partner, and he is honest about it (see step six in Part One). You don’t have to be ashamed of pursuing a healthy sexual relationship as long as you’re being completely sincere. Similarly, having a girlfriend doesn’t mean you’ll be any less of a bad boy. Here are a few tips for handling a relationship like a true bad boy.

Have your own life. In a romantic relationship, it’s important not to dedicate your entire life to your partner. Even after marriage, form your own plans. Spend time with friends. If you are a valuable person, your presence will be appreciated by your partner. On the other hand, if you’re constantly available regardless of whether your partner needs you, your presence will lose its value. Don’t become weak in your relationship – make sure you don’t invest so much in your partner that you forget yourself.

Become self-satisfied. Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have to idolize them. Tease them! A little playful banter can keep the passion and excitement alive in your relationship. This is the trait of a confident ‘alpha’ guy – you’re showing your partner that you’re not afraid to have a little argument. Think about it – would you truly want to be someone’s boyfriend if you always had to be nice to them?

• Don’t tease too harshly. Avoid topics your partner doesn’t like, such as her appearance or career. Keep it lighthearted.
• Be prepared to receive teasing back – don’t start if you can’t handle it!
• If you unintentionally hurt your partner’s feelings, apologize sincerely. Remember, bad boys are honest – if you truly want to apologize, express it. Don’t assume you shouldn’t apologize just to maintain a ‘bad boy’ image. That’s not ‘bad,’ it’s simply rude.

Be the ‘dominant’ one in the relationship. This doesn’t mean controlling your partner or preventing her from making decisions. Instead, it means being the one who can take charge in appropriate situations and always having a plan. For example, if you’re going out, choose the location early and call ahead to make a reservation. Take her hand and guide her through crowds without asking for her opinion. Kiss her at the right moment. Show her that you know exactly what you want for yourself and for her. Talk about topics you’re passionate about. Share stories about your family, or bring up an event that makes you think about them. Don’t gossip; have sincere conversations, and let your partner know that you’re not only the rock of your family, but also quite sensitive.

Create surprises. In a long-term relationship, it’s easy to fall into a routine. However, occasionally make an effort to do something spontaneous. Plan a weekend getaway when you both have free time. Surprise her with concert tickets when she wakes up. Breaking the usual patterns will keep your relationship fresh and exciting.

• It may seem paradoxical to plan a ‘spontaneous’ activity, but it’s necessary – there’s nothing worse than impulsively deciding to go shopping only to realize the mall is closed. And anyway, shopping isn’t typically a bad boy activity.
• Remember, the goal of spontaneity isn’t to shower your partner with gifts. Maintain your own value – if you’re unsure what to do, plan activities you enjoy. You’ll love doing them, and your happiness will be contagious to your partner.

Give your partner space and ensure she does the same for you. Bad boys and their partners don’t rely on each other entirely. They maintain their own lives, friendships, and interests. This makes the time they spend together even more precious.

• Balancing time between friends and your partner can be tricky. Fortunately, this is a common challenge, and it’s the source of many meaningful (and even meaningless) online articles. Consider reading some of them for helpful advice.

• Becoming a ‘bad boy’ means trusting yourself more than you trust others and their opinions. You need to recognize your own insecurities and doubts and find ways to overcome them. Once you let go of the need for others' approval, you’ll truly embody the bad boy persona.
• Develop your imagination. Every day, picture yourself as the man you aspire to be. Act, walk, and think the way you want, and this approach will help you reach your goals faster.
• Becoming a bad boy takes time. Take it step by step, and one day, you’ll fully transform into the man you’ve always dreamed of. This doesn’t mean you should fake it; it means you need to work on becoming the best version of yourself. Give yourself time to evolve.
• Movies to watch: Fight Club, 300, The Last Samurai, Yes Man, and Hitch.
• Books to read: The Way of the Superior Man, Psycho-Cybernetics, Iron John.
• Games to play: "Total Overdose", "The Punisher", "GTA Vice City".

• At times, women may create situations to test whether you're a real bad boy or just putting on an act. Follow these steps until you fully adopt the traits that will make you a genuine bad boy.
• Remember, becoming a bad boy does not mean becoming a bad person. Bad boys are confident, but not arrogant or malicious. They know their worth, but they never act superior to others.
• Changing yourself isn’t easy, and it will take a long time to shape yourself. To get the best results, avoid making drastic changes – focus on improving the areas where you can make the most progress.
• Becoming a bad boy will help you break free from dependence and also help you distance yourself from people who expect you to be dependent.