How to Become Independent

Accept yourself. You cannot build a strong, independent self if you cannot live with who you are. Embrace your personality, thoughts, voice, preferences, and life. Avoid speaking negatively about yourself. Everyone has the potential to be strong. Everyone endures challenges to prove their strength. Leave past mistakes behind and learn from them. Strive to improve yourself, and most importantly, love who you are.

• This is a crucial part of becoming independent because accepting yourself helps avoid the trap of imitating others.

Believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, who will? We are all unique and have something special to offer. No one can speak your words, and not everyone will agree with what you say, which is why standing your ground is crucial. Ultimately, you are all you have, and if you trust yourself, that is what truly matters. Believing in yourself will make you confident in your decisions—even if they go completely against others' expectations or societal norms.

• If you lack self-belief, you will constantly doubt yourself and seek others' help for every decision. Avoid this at all costs.

Accept the world. Independent people are not naive, but they also don't believe humanity is entirely evil. Independent individuals see the world with its good and bad sides and consciously choose to live strongly for themselves and others. You are not independent because you distrust everyone. You are not independent because you are arrogant. Follow this guideline: Learn to accept the world and decide to be strong.

• Accepting the world in all its complexity will also help you realize there are countless ways to live—you are not bound to follow just one.

Be emotionally independent. It's possible that you rely on others for emotional support. It could be your parents, partner, or best friend. While you can continue to lean on these people for the rest of your life, it's best to realize that everyone you depend on will eventually be gone. Some move away, some stop talking to you, and all of them will eventually pass away. The only person who will always be with you is yourself. If you rely on yourself, you will never be disappointed.

• It's normal to be close to a few important people in your life, but you can't let them determine your happiness. That is up to you.

Be motivated. Others do not and will never have the same drive for your success as you do. Motivation and success come from habits. You must break the habit of procrastination and replace it with effective planning. The most successful people in the world are not always the smartest or most attractive, but no matter their talents or gifts, they build their worth through small and significant achievements. This is how you learn everything from school, gain confidence in dating, and achieve other life goals.

• If you want to achieve career goals, do it for yourself, not to please your family. The same applies if you want excellent grades.
• Don't rush to lose weight, publish a book, or build a house just to impress others. Do it because you want to move toward success. Do it for yourself.

Be your own hero. A role model can inspire and show you how to live your life. Finding someone you deeply admire who shares your values isn't a bad idea. However, in the end, it's crucial to make yourself your role model—someone capable of doing and saying whatever they want. Be yourself, and be the best version of yourself. If you don't admire yourself, you cannot become independent.

• Avoid idolizing friends or acquaintances in your social circle. This will only make it easier to forget to focus on your own path.

Accept that life is unfair. Our parents love us so much that they do everything possible to raise us in a fair environment. The real world doesn't operate by that principle, and this is the reality of today's world. The rules of the world often protect the majority (which you may not be part of) or those with money and power. You will be treated poorly due to a range of injustices: skin color, intelligence, height, weight, your financial status, your opinions, your gender, and everything that makes you who you are. You must find happiness despite all these inequalities.

• Don't let the world's injustices stop you from pursuing your dreams. Do you want to be a male nurse? A female soldier? The first in your family to graduate from college? Go for it instead of telling yourself it's impossible in today's world.

Stop caring about what others think.

This is the most important step to becoming independent. If you rely on others to validate whether your music is good or your clothes are cute, you will never be happy. As long as you like it, nothing else matters. Stop worrying about others' opinions on your life, whether it's about your clothes, career choices, or other important decisions. These are your choices, not anyone else's.

• If you constantly think, "But what will people say if..." you will always hesitate to do what you want.

Don't just "think" you're the best; prove it to yourself. Your self-belief is crucial for motivation, but you know when you're putting in the effort to achieve something. It's much easier to start tackling your responsibilities when you have strong faith in your ability to handle what's coming because you've been through it before, rather than striving for goals out of restlessness and inner turmoil. Restlessness and turmoil lead to little progress and self-doubt.

Seek information on your own. Watch and read the news, ensuring you gather information from multiple sources. Stay updated regularly and aim to understand both sides of every story before forming an opinion. You can also talk to people from diverse backgrounds to gain more insights on relevant topics, but never let others dictate how you should think. Aim to read as much as possible, whether it's literature or The New York Times. Being well-informed helps you avoid blindly following others and fosters independent thinking.

• You don't want to be a lemming and believe something just because your 50 closest Facebook friends told you so.

Maintain strong friendships. You don't need to abandon your friends to become independent. In fact, your independence will be stronger with good friends. When your friends need someone to talk to, be there for them. Be trustworthy. Don't gossip or share your friends' secrets or personal issues with anyone, even if they never mention it. Be a source of strength for your friends and loved ones. This not only shows you're selfless but also helps you learn how to handle unexpected situations through your friends' experiences.

Become financially independent. This can be challenging due to parents' natural instinct to provide for us. Politely decline when they offer financial help. While relying on others financially is tempting, true independence requires self-sufficiency. Secure your finances. Living independently must be built on financial freedom. Pay your bills, drive your car, and sign your rent checks.

• If you don't have enough money for these expenses, save diligently. Not only will you gain financial freedom through savings, but the money you keep for yourself will give you a great sense of independence and motivation.

Don't settle for anything, whether it's comfort, ease, or being "nice." Work hard at everything. Stand by your opinions. And for women, don't let men feel they need to pamper you. If you're good at something, do it. As long as it doesn't have disastrous consequences, you should do it. This doesn't mean doing everything, but you shouldn't assume others must do things for you that you can do yourself.

• Avoid people who say, "That person doesn't rely on anyone to do things for them. They're so strong and independent."

Spend time away from friends and family when possible. This is a challenging step on the journey to independence, but you must start doing things on your own. You don't need someone to drive you to a restaurant because you can meet them there. Go shopping alone, spend at least one or two evenings a week by yourself. Engage in activities that allow you to lead rather than follow.

• If you're used to always having company for long trips or shopping, try doing it alone and see how it feels.

Remove negative influences from your life. Don't end friendships unless absolutely necessary. Learn to maintain a healthy distance. Even if those friends are "perfect," they might hold you back from making breakthroughs in life. "Weed your garden"—some people make you shine, while others stifle your growth and drain your energy. If you have a friend who pressures you into doing things you're uncomfortable with, whether it's stealing or just being meaner, it's time to cut ties.

• Avoid friends who enjoy forming cliques and having admirers. These people will want you to do only what they say and will hinder your independence.

Save money. Save as much as you can. This will help you build an emergency fund, as life can be unpredictable. You can't anticipate unexpected events. Improve your quality of life by setting aside a fixed amount each month. Issues like accidents, health problems, or even natural disasters can occur when you least expect them.

• You might think you can't save money, but by doing small things, like making coffee at home instead of buying it daily, you can save over $30 a week—that's more than $1,500 a year!

Open a bank account. Most banks offer checking and savings accounts in a convenient package. Some companies, institutions, and organizations require you to have at least a checking account (some only pay employees through direct deposit). Money earned that isn't needed for expenses should go into a savings account until you're ready to be independent.

• Having your own bank account means you won't rely on others and can avoid reckless spending.

Start your career path. Experiment with different jobs and find the one you love most. If money makes you happy, become an investment banker or start a small business. If you enjoy working with children, become a teacher. If you want to be a professional, consider law, academia, or consulting. If you love interacting with people, try sales or the service industry. If you're fascinated by how things work, explore engineering, psychology, or sociology.

• Most students work jobs unrelated to their field of study. Some people thrive without formal education and even become millionaires. Doing work you love is part of growing up.

Identify your passion. Something you're deeply committed to, whether it's sports, a partner, music, a band, an art form/dance, or religion. Something you always make time for. Playing video games or Barbie dolls all day isn't the best use of your time. (This includes spending excessive time on the internet).

• Identifying your passion gives your life meaning and helps you understand what you truly want from life.

Plan your day. The most dependent people let their world revolve around others' needs. Plan your day according to your own schedule—create a list of things you want to do, need to do, and should have done. If a friend asks you to do something, that's fine, but don't let them disrupt your carefully planned schedule.

• Treat alone time like a date with Brad Pitt. Guard it carefully and don't let anyone intrude on the time you've set aside for yourself.

Thank those who have helped you. You don't need to be stubborn to be independent. If someone genuinely helps you, thank them with a sincere "thank you," write a card, or give them a hug if they're a close friend. There's nothing wrong with occasionally needing help, and acknowledging this won't make you less independent.

Avoid trends. Just because someone pays $60 for a shirt doesn't mean you have to do the same. Dress how you want and say what you want to say. If you want to act crazy, go ahead! Remember, good taste and style don't have to be expensive—it's about innate ability or learning how to pair things well with a little knowledge of method.

Spend time with people who have different perspectives. Hanging out with people like you won't inspire you to become more independent. Make an effort to befriend people with diverse views and careers, as they can give you a broader sense of the world and show you that there isn't just one right way.

• Spending time with a lawyer can be refreshing if you're a yoga instructor, or hanging out with a chef if you're a student. This can make you more open-minded and willing to try something completely new on your own.

Learn to drive or use public transportation. You'll never be fully independent if you don't know how to drive or get around on your own. How can you call yourself independent if you always rely on your boyfriend, best friend, or parents to drive you? (This assumes you're old enough to drive). If you live in the suburbs and need a car/motorcycle to get around, face it, get your license, and work toward owning your own vehicle.

• If you live in a big city, don't rely on walking everywhere when the weather is nice or waiting for a friend to give you a ride—learn to use the subway, bus, or train system.
• Depending on others for transportation makes it easy to stay home or wait around for others to decide your fate. You should be able to do whatever you want—whenever you want.

Do your own research instead of always calling for help. You might always call your dad for financial advice or your mom every five minutes when planning a big party or wedding. Maybe you have a friend who's an expert in everything and is your go-to person for work issues, car troubles, or fixing the TV. Get into the habit of researching things yourself before reaching out to others if you want to become more independent.

• Having people to turn to is great, but the next time you pick up the phone, ask yourself: Can I figure this out on my own? The answer is likely yes. It might take more time, but think about how rewarding it will feel.

Learn to be handy around the house. Are you tired of calling plumbers, repairmen, painters, or even a trusted friend every time something breaks? Become more self-sufficient by watching videos, reading Mytour, or checking out Common Mechanical Repairs. If your friend is a carpenter, ask them to teach you a few things. Learning to fix things yourself will save you money and make you feel less dependent on others to improve your life.

• And hey, learning to unclog a toilet is much better than waiting for someone else to do it.

Cook for yourself. Don't rely on fast-food chains or street vendors to feed you. You don't need to be a chef to master the basics: how to sauté simple ingredients, use an oven, and prepare easy dishes like pasta, potatoes, and salads. Knowing you can go to the supermarket or farmers' market, pick up a few staples, and whip up a delicious meal will make you feel capable of handling anything.

• If you become a skilled cook, you can even invite others to enjoy the benefits of your culinary talents.
• Learning to cook for yourself not only makes you more independent but also saves you money, a key factor in self-reliance.

Learn to budget. Maybe your parents, spouse, or someone else is managing your finances, or perhaps you don't pay much attention and tend to overspend. Either way, you should know how much you need to spend each month or week and list your expenses to get a better sense of where to cut costs.

• Finding ways to save will make you more independent because you'll have more money to spend on what you truly enjoy.

Don't rely solely on GPS for navigation. Sure, turning on GPS or a map app helps you get from point A to point B. But what if your GPS suddenly fails, your phone dies, or you're on a cliff? Would you follow its directions? Hopefully not. Before going anywhere, visualize the route and direction in your mind if possible. Better yet, know exactly where you're going to feel less dependent on devices.

• If you're on a long trip, GPS can be helpful, but make sure you have a solid sense of your destination to avoid feeling lost.

Get comfortable doing things alone. If you're truly independent, you won't need a close friend to complete small tasks or enjoy fun activities. Don't wait for your friends to be free to try the new restaurant in town or watch the latest movie at the theater. Treat yourself and go alone—if you visit the cinema, you'll be surprised by how many people are also enjoying the movie by themselves.

• It's all about attitude. If you reflect and realize you're genuinely comfortable doing these things alone, don't overthink it.

Take it slow. Rome wasn't built in a day, and no one is completely independent. This isn't a rigid rulebook you must follow. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. The methods above simply show you how to become independent—if that's what you want.