Buzz
Contrary to the common belief held by many, simply having a beautiful face and an alluring figure is not enough to make a woman attractive in the eyes of men. Research shows that while physical appearance plays a significant role, personality is considered even more important.
To become more appealing to men, focus on developing positive traits such as confidence, respect, honesty, active listening, and generosity. These qualities create a magnetic personality, while highlighting the aspects of yourself you most love, flirting with subtlety, and maintaining a healthy body should come second.
However, remember that you should never change yourself for a man. If he doesn't appreciate who you truly are, there's no reason to waste time on someone like that. Yes, this might sound like something straight out of a lighthearted romantic comedy, but in reality, that's how it works.
Steps
Possess Good Qualities
Be Confident. For many, being confident is easier said than done. Confidence means trusting in yourself and your abilities. If you're lacking confidence, there are plenty of ways to boost your self-esteem.
- For example, if you struggle with negative self-talk (those thoughts that tell you you're a failure, unworthy of respect, or stupid), try replacing them with positive affirmations like 'I care about others' or 'I am a good friend.'
- When you're confident, you won't berate yourself for making mistakes, nor will you put yourself down. A confident person can genuinely feel happy for the success of others without jealousy or self-criticism.
Relax and live in the present moment. It will be difficult for you to enjoy life when your mind is always stuck in the past or worrying about the future. Instead of stressing over what you've said or what's coming next, take time to appreciate the present moment you're in.
- If you're uncertain about what to say, a great way to connect with someone is by asking them questions. For instance, asking for advice or encouraging them to talk about themselves can make them like you more.
- If you're comfortable and focused while around others, they will appreciate your presence and will want to continue meeting you.
Become a good listener. When talking to the guy you like (or anyone else), one way to ensure they like you (at least as a friend) is to listen attentively. Here's how to be an active listener:
- Don't interrupt or judge the speaker.
- Show you’re engaged by nodding or responding with words like 'yes', 'uh-huh', or 'right'.
- Paraphrase what they say to show you understand their point.
- Ask questions to demonstrate your attentiveness and interest.
Be honest but respectful. Try not to say what you think he wants to hear but express your true thoughts, as long as you remain respectful when sharing your opinions. Avoid offending him or his views.
- Chances are, you want him to like the real you, not the person you think he desires. He will appreciate your honesty and your courage to speak your mind.
- For example, if he asks about a movie you didn’t like, be honest about your thoughts rather than pretending to like it just because you think he does. If there's no harm in it, this can make your conversation more interesting.
Share your passions and interests. When people talk about things they love, they often become very animated. Their excitement is contagious, making them come across as lively and interesting.
- When talking to the guy you like, don’t hesitate to share a bit about what matters to you.
- Also, don’t forget to learn about his interests. This shows you want to get to know him better, and he’ll feel closer to you.
Engage in activities that enrich your life. Volunteer for causes you believe in; learn to play a musical instrument; take up dance classes; start running; or join a recreational sports team. The joy and fulfillment you get from these activities will make you more attractive to men.
- Additionally, with your hobbies, you'll have more things to talk about, and it increases your chances of bonding with him if he shares similar interests. You may even meet your soulmate through your passions.
Show your interest. Let him know you care about him through small gestures. For example, at a party, ask if he wants something to drink or eat; if you've recently discussed something that's been bothering him, check in on how he's doing.
- Studies show that when you demonstrate love, support, and consistency, others may see you as a potential life partner, so take this opportunity to showcase these qualities.
Be honest about yourself. Countless romantic comedies revolve around someone pretending to be someone they're not, and their lies eventually get exposed. Don't try to be someone you're not.
- If your ideal evening is staying at home with pizza and Netflix, don't pretend to love partying. This will only leave you exhausted and frustrated when he wants to go out, and all you want is to relax.
- If you love Math and want to teach it, don’t tell the adventurous guy that your dream is to become a ski instructor at a resort.
Don't change yourself for anyone. Stepping out of your comfort zone can be exciting and healthy—like trying new hobbies or meeting new people—but always do so with the understanding of who you are and what you want in life. Stay true to your beliefs and goals.
- The only good reason to change is when you're unhappy with yourself and want to make changes for your own happiness.
- If you find yourself needing to be someone completely different around a guy, perhaps you shouldn't continue seeing him.
Improve your appearance
Keep in mind that looks are just a small part of attraction. Research shows that while a woman's appearance is important in capturing a man's initial attention, factors like humor, confidence, and personality are just as significant.
- Men tend to appreciate women who look youthful and healthy—smooth skin, a youthful face, and a fit body—because, subconsciously, they associate these traits with potential long-term partners.
Embrace your own beauty. No matter your body shape, skin color, clothing size, or hair length, you possess your own unique beauty.
- Studies show that your attractiveness in the eyes of others is 20% higher than how you rate yourself. Many women are overly critical when it comes to self-assessment, rather than appreciating their own beauty.
- Perhaps you don't meet traditional beauty standards, but what does that matter? Beauty standards today are different from the past and will continue to evolve over time.
Discover your personal style. Your style should reflect your personality, not merely imitate the allure of others. Choose outfits that fit well, complement your body shape, and make you feel confident.
- If you're unsure about your style, look to fashion icons or people you admire for inspiration. Feel free to experiment with different styles—it's not about becoming someone else, but rather exploring how to express yourself.
- Try out various accessories, styles, and colors you wouldn't normally consider. If they feel right, you can adopt them as part of your style; if they seem too overdone, continue experimenting with other options.
Highlight your favorite features. Do you have a physical trait that you love? It could be your deep brown eyes, luscious hair, or charming chin. Whatever it is, others will surely find it attractive.
- Look for ways to choose clothes, accessories, and makeup that enhance your best features.
- For instance, if you have captivating black eyes, wear circular, shiny earrings to make them stand out. Or, if you love your long, graceful neck, opt for a V-neck shirt or a shoulder-length hairstyle to draw attention to it.
Makeup. Some studies suggest that men find women more attractive when they wear makeup. Other studies point out that men prefer women with light makeup (although sometimes they think natural makeup is the same as no makeup at all).
- If you're not fond of makeup but want to try it, start with a natural look that simply brightens your face. Try mascara and a natural-colored gloss.
- Ultimately, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable. If you prefer a makeup-free look, embrace your natural beauty.
- Make sure that your beauty routine, whether for your body or face, comes from your own desire—not because you think a man will like you better with it.
Makeup to look younger and healthier. A lot of what makes women attractive to men relates to primal instincts. This means that men tend to view certain physical features as signs of good reproductive health. A youthful, symmetrical face signals fertility and good health.
- Studies show that men are drawn to women with a youthful appearance, big eyes, small noses, full lips, and a pointed chin. You can use mascara and lip plumper to achieve bigger eyes and plump lips.
- If you want a stronger makeup look, you can try contouring with a little bronzer to make your face appear younger and more balanced.
Highlight your lips. Research shows that men tend to pay more attention to a woman's lips than other parts of her body. When you wear lipstick (especially red), your lips become more captivating to men.
- It is a common belief that full, red lips resemble the dilation of blood vessels when sexual desire is heightened, which makes men feel more inclined to get closer to you.
Pay attention to your vocal tone. Numerous studies indicate that men generally find women with higher-pitched voices more attractive than those with lower-pitched voices.
- That said, you should still be yourself. Men are often attracted to women who are confident and comfortable with their bodies (and voices), but this is one aspect of attraction you should be aware of. (Studies also show that women prefer men with deep voices).
Wear red clothing. Studies have found that women who wear red are perceived as more attractive and appealing by men (interestingly, this effect doesn't work on other women).
- Since red comes in many different shades, be sure to choose a tone that highlights your skin's natural color!
Show off your hourglass figure. Research indicates that men are often drawn to women with an hourglass shape—narrow waists and wide hips, which are seen as signs of good health and fertility. Very few women naturally have an hourglass figure, so don't feel insecure if your body doesn't match this shape.
- You can create an hourglass figure with exercises that target your glutes and hips, slim your waist, choose flattering clothing, or use a waist cincher for shaping.
- Note that in some countries, women with fuller waists are considered more attractive because it signals abundance and financial stability.
Socialize with other women. When you hang out with a group of girlfriends, men perceive each member of the group as more attractive than usual.
- This might seem counterintuitive, as you might feel less attractive next to beautiful women, but in reality, it’s the opposite—all of you become more appealing.
Self-care
Be kind to yourself. This is closely linked to building confidence. You might try to attract men, but the most important thing is to become attractive in your own eyes. Take good care of yourself: eat healthily, exercise, and get enough sleep. Also, don’t be too hard on yourself if you have a bad day or don't look like a supermodel.
- When trying to attract men, you may read articles on what men like, but they often highlight what you don't have.
- Studies have shown that personality is more important than appearance, which is why it’s crucial to be joyful and comfortable in your own skin.
Exercise regularly. Advice on exercise may vary across sources, but in general, if you want to maintain your shape, aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise each day. It’s simple—just walk or do a 10-minute workout three times a day.
- Exercise not only helps keep your body healthy but also has a positive impact on your brain!
Drink enough water. Divide your weight in pounds by two, and that’s the number of ounces of water you should aim to drink daily. You’ll need more water if you live in a hot climate or exercise regularly.
- A woman weighing 150 pounds (around 68kg) should drink about 75-150 ounces of water (roughly 2.2-4.4 liters) a day, depending on her activity level and environment.
Get enough sleep. Studies show that people who lack sleep tend to appear less attractive compared to when they get a good night’s rest.
- You can cover up the signs of sleep deprivation with concealer. Choose a product that matches your skin tone and use it to hide dark circles under your eyes. Use eye cream if you need to soothe puffiness.
- If sleep deprivation is a recurring issue, consult a doctor to identify the cause.
Eat Healthy. Incorporate plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein into your diet. In addition to reducing your intake of sugar or salt, it's best to avoid processed and packaged foods. This approach helps maintain a healthy weight, stabilize your mood, and improve the appearance of your skin and hair.
Take good care of your skin. Cleanse your face twice a day with a facial wash that suits your skin type (types include normal, combination, oily, and sensitive). Follow up with a moisturizing product that contains sun protection.
- After showering, apply a body moisturizer to keep your skin soft and smooth.
Have a radiant smile. Full, soft lips and white, even teeth are commonly considered attractive features for both men and women. Drink plenty of water alongside moisturizing your lips regularly to keep them soft, and don't forget to brush your teeth.
- A bright, even smile is a sign of good genetics and is a key feature that attracts men.
- If you don’t have perfectly white teeth, don’t worry! This is completely normal. If your teeth are healthy but slightly off-white, try using a whitening toothpaste or visit a dentist for advice on teeth-whitening methods.
Hair care. Numerous studies show that long, thick, and shiny hair is one of the most attractive traits for men, as it signifies health and fertility. Generally, men are drawn to women with long hair rather than those with short hair, even when they share similar facial features.
- More important than styling your hair (or any related aspects) to catch a man's attention is choosing a hairstyle that highlights your face shape and personal style. Ultimately, you need to feel comfortable with your look.
- If you want to experiment with long hair, consider clip-in extensions available at hair salons and beauty stores. For very short hair, try wearing a wig.
- Avoid excessive hair treatments such as dyeing or straightening, as damaged or frizzy hair will appear less appealing.
Flirting with men
Go to places where you feel happy. Places that make you forget your worries, help you relax, and bring joy will make you look more attractive and feel more alluring.
- You’ll also have a chance to meet guys who share similar interests and enjoy doing things together that both of you love.
- For example, if you like basketball, you could join a mixed basketball team. You'll be at your most appealing when you're relaxed and happy, just doing your best at what you're doing, but don't take everything too seriously to the point of getting upset or behaving badly!
Eye contact. This might be one of the most effective flirting techniques. Making eye contact shows confidence, interest, and can make the other person "melt".
- The most common method is to look into his eyes and give a slight smile before looking away. Do this a few times over about 20 minutes; if he’s interested, he’ll approach you.
- If you’ve already spoken to him, remember to look into his eyes during special moments throughout the conversation, like when you compliment him. Occasionally, try holding eye contact a bit longer than usual to signal that you’re deeply interested in him.
- However, don't stare at him too long, as it might make things awkward or tense. Keep it light and natural.
Smile. Research shows that women who are happy, especially those who laugh often, tend to attract more attention from men. Make sure your smile is sincere, and don't just smile with your lips, but with your eyes too, to avoid seeming fake.
- Laugh out loud when he says something funny, but don’t force a laugh.
- The most effective flirting technique is to smile while looking at him with a soft, affectionate gaze.
- You can adjust your smile depending on the context—whether it's a shy smile to grab his attention, or a playful, relaxed grin when you've already spoken to him to show your interest.
Start a conversation. You don’t have to wait for him to start talking. If you notice someone, go ahead and introduce yourself and strike up a friendly conversation to get to know each other.
- Keep things light. If you’ve just watched a movie or attended a concert together, you can use that as a topic to start the conversation. Or if you’re in the same class, ask for his thoughts on the course.
- While talking, try to gauge his level of interest. If he meets your gaze, asks you questions, and seems engaged, continue the conversation and see where it leads.
- If he doesn’t seem interested, don’t force it. Just politely say you’re glad to have met him, say goodbye, and start talking to your friends or someone else.
Compliment him. A safe way to show your interest and get his attention is to give him a compliment. Research shows that even insincere compliments can be effective, but it’s best to offer genuine praise.
- If he looks sharp in a certain shirt, compliment him on it. If he changes his hairstyle, let him know you noticed and like the change. Compliments not only make him feel good; they also signal that you're interested in him.
Take the conversation further. If the conversation is going smoothly and he’s responding positively, you can ask for his phone number. You don’t have to wait for him to make the first move.
- Plan a date for a few days later so you both have time to think about it and get ready.
- If you’re not quite ready for a date, you can simply exchange phone numbers with him.
Mirror his body language. While you should avoid doing this too obviously, try mimicking his posture and movements while you're talking. This sends the message that you’re interested in him, which might encourage him to reciprocate your feelings.
- For example, if he touches his hair, wait a minute or two and then do the same naturally, but with the other hand. Make sure you do it casually, as if it’s a coincidence. You definitely don’t want to come off as someone who’s obviously copying him (even though that's exactly what you're doing!).
Advice
- Put your phone on silent and keep it in your purse or pocket during the date. If you keep checking messages, looking for funny pictures, or posting your meal on Instagram, he might wonder if you’re even interested in his company.
- It may sound scary, but it’s true: studies show that men seeking quick attraction based on appearance are often drawn to women who seem childish, silly, or tipsy. On the other hand, intelligence becomes far more attractive to men who are seriously looking for a life partner.
- Many men report being more attracted to women they know and trust, rather than someone who’s conventionally attractive (just in the initial moment).
- Always be yourself because he’ll notice the difference and wonder about it. Feel comfortable being around him.
Warning
- Don't change yourself just to attract a guy. Although this advice has been repeated so many times it might sound boring, it’s absolutely true: the most important thing you can do to make yourself more attractive is to believe that you already are. Be confident and know that you are beautiful inside and out.
- Don’t think that all men have a set standard – for example, preferring women with a youthful appearance, a tiny hourglass figure, and a sweet voice. Research on this topic is based on average statistics, so it can’t tell you exactly what every man will like.
