Buzz
Romance demands careful attention, proper planning, and a creative mindset. To achieve this, seek ways to surprise and delight your loved one with your expressions of affection. The challenge lies in expressing your love without sounding clichéd or disingenuous. Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been married for twenty years and want to reignite the spark, if you're aiming for romance, follow these steps.
Steps
Be Considerate
While everyone smiles at receiving flowers or chocolates, you can make your loved one even more delighted by choosing a gift tailored to their interests. Such gifts are especially romantic because they demonstrate that you’ve put thought and effort into crafting the perfect present for someone you care about. Here are some ideas for a romantic gift:
- For a music lover: tickets to a live performance, a CD/DVD of their favorite artist or band, a book about their idol, a voice recorder with pre-recorded messages, a poster, or even memorabilia of their favorite musician.
- For a sports fan: a signed ball, cap, or t-shirt with the logo of their favorite team, tickets to a game, an invite to a talk show featuring their favorite athlete, or a documentary film about that athlete.
- For a food enthusiast: a cookbook, a subscription to a food magazine, restaurant vouchers, fine wine, a cooking class voucher, new kitchen gadgets, or a beautifully designed bowl.
- For a fashion lover: a gift card for their favorite brand, new shoes or clothes from a familiar store, tickets to a fashion show, or an eye-catching accessory to complement their wardrobe.
- For a bookworm: an e-book, a cute personalized bookmark, a discount voucher from a bookstore, an invite to a book launch event with their favorite author, or a book they’ve been wanting to read.
- For an outdoor adventurer: clothing for their favorite outdoor activity like hiking or walking, sunglasses, binoculars, a guidebook for a new travel destination, or even a new backpack.
Bring love along with thoughtful date ideas. Although any date planned with love and care is romantic, it becomes even more so when you tailor the meeting to your partner's preferences and needs. For example, planning a hiking trip for someone who dislikes outdoor activities wouldn't be very romantic. If you want everything to be perfect, consider the following ideas:
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For the music lover:
- Attend a concert of your partner's favorite artist. If it’s a free live show in the park, bring some snacks to enjoy a picnic while listening to music.
- Go to a café and listen to jazz or acoustic music together.
- Cook a meal together while playing their favorite songs in the background.
- If you play guitar, write a romantic song and perform it for them.
- Spend a noon browsing music stores together, then head home to enjoy your new finds.
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For the outdoor enthusiast:
- Go hiking and enjoy a meal outdoors along the way.
- Try kayaking or pedal boating on a lake.
- Go cycling along a trail.
- Attend an outdoor event together.
- Take a walk or jog along the beach.
- Stargaze. Don’t forget to bring a small telescope.
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For the sentimental type:
- If you’ve been together for a while, recreate your first date and write a letter to your partner to reflect on how your relationship has evolved.
- Spend a day revisiting places you both love. Order the same food and drinks you used to enjoy together.
- In the evening, look through old photos and letters you’ve written to each other.
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For the food lover:
- Cook their favorite dish. Practice on your own beforehand to make sure it’s perfect.
- Make some fun treats like cheese or chocolate.
- Arrange a platter of snacks and nuts to share along with a bottle of fine wine.
- Play soft music, light candles, cook, and enjoy the meal together.
Leave romantic notes behind. To keep the romance alive, leave little notes for your partner to find when you’re not around. If you have to leave early for work or another reason, leave a note on the bathroom mirror saying, "Have a great day! I can't wait to see you tonight!" It will definitely bring a smile to their face. Here are some ideas for leaving loving notes:
- Leave a message in a textbook or book they love to read. They might not find it right away, but when they do, they won’t be able to hide their happy smile.
- If your partner is going away for a few days, place a note in their bag to remind them of you. It will make them think of you as soon as they open it and feel closer to you.
- If you’re feeling extra romantic, write them a love letter.
Send caring messages or emails daily. Don’t overwhelm your partner with constant texts throughout the day, as it could become suffocating and counterproductive. A simple reminder of how much you love them through a short email or sweet message is enough to show you care. Here are a few examples:
- Send a quick email saying something like: "Dear Lan, I keep thinking about the delicious dinner you made last night. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I can’t wait for the weekend so I can take you out to dinner as a thank-you. Love, Tuan."
- Send a short message like: “How’s your afternoon going? I hope you’re enjoying the sunshine.”
- Don’t send too many messages – one thoughtful message a day is enough.
Expert's Response
Question
"How can I become more romantic?"
EXPERT ADVICE
Response from Maya Diamond, MA:
Maya Diamond, a dating and relationship expert, says: "Sending romantic and sensual messages throughout the day can help boost excitement. You could also plan a surprise date for your partner or create a romantic setting in the bedroom. Light candles, play music, and wear something seductive."
Show thoughtful assistance. To be romantic, you need to understand what your partner is thinking and recognize when they need help with small tasks. You might think that running out to buy groceries for your partner while they are busy isn’t particularly romantic, but in reality, it shows how considerate you are and how well you understand their needs. Here are some things you can do to offer help and show your care:
- If your partner has a cold, offer to take care of their pet. Walking it, feeding it, and caring for it can relieve some of their burden.
- If your partner has allergies, you could take over the responsibility of watering their plants until they feel better.
- If your partner is overwhelmed with work, go out and get some food and hot coffee to bring to them.
- If your partner mentions a few chores they need to do, surprise them by taking care of those tasks for them.
Be Creative
Write love notes in unexpected places. Writing on the bathroom mirror while it’s still foggy from your partner’s shower is a clever, surprising, and romantic idea. You could also carve messages into a tree or a wooden table you own. Even ask a restaurant server to write "I love you" in chocolate on the dessert.
- Write "I love you" in the sand on the beach.
Create a curated CD for your partner. Add songs that hold a special meaning about love or that bring back memories you’ve shared together. You could leave it in their car and wait for the moment they discover the CD with a surprised smile. Alternatively, you could gift the CD with a card on a special occasion.
Give your partner a massage. If your partner has had a long, exhausting day, invite them to relax while you give them a back or foot massage. You can use body lotion or massage oil to add to the romantic atmosphere.
Create a photo album. These days, most couples post their pictures online. Print out the most meaningful ones and create a small album as a tangible reminder of the special moments you’ve shared. You can even add cute captions to make it more personal and meaningful.
Celebrate Valentine’s Day on any given day. You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to express your love. Pick any random evening to create your own Valentine’s Day with cards, flowers, delicious food, and wine. Your partner will be pleasantly surprised, and it will surely be a romantic night.
Confess your love the old-fashioned way. Request a song dedication on the radio for your partner and make sure they hear it. Alternatively, write a poem and attach it to the bottle of wine you’re about to share. If you have musical talent, perform for them in a public place—just make sure not to embarrass them. There are plenty of ways to express your love in a traditional style without going overboard.
Be a child again. Showing affection in a playful, silly way can be surprisingly romantic. Hold hands and stroll through a fair, play games, and give each other a plush toy you've won. Date at a museum or amusement park and enjoy the carefree fun of teenagers. Who says youth fades and can never be recaptured? You can express love in a youthful way at any age. Here are some childlike romantic activities to enjoy together:
- Make animal-shaped bubbles.
- Spend an afternoon painting with your fingers.
- Watch fireworks together.
- Bake cupcakes.
- Watch a childhood movie together.
- Go kite flying.
Keep Everything Fresh
Love thrives on physical touch. If you touch your partner and both feel a spark, the atmosphere becomes even more romantic. It doesn't matter how long you've been together—embrace, kiss, and show love through simple acts that truly make your partner feel the depth of your affection.
- Holding hands during a walk isn't necessary all the time, but it can be especially romantic during a stroll.
- If you're watching a movie together, consider wrapping your arms around each other or snuggling close.
- Never let a day pass without a kiss, even if it's a quick peck.
- Hug your loved one as often as possible.
- Think of new ways to interact physically—tickle them on the bed, gently run your fingers through their hair, or pull them into a tight embrace.
Give new compliments. To keep things fresh, don't just compliment your partner whenever you can, but think of unique ways to praise them that will make them feel truly special. You can still rely on old compliments – her stunning eyes or his charming smile – but try to mix things up and find something new to appreciate about your partner.
- Find something new to compliment about your partner each week. It could be a new physical trait or personality trait. By paying attention to new details, you'll discover more qualities to admire.
- Write a compliment on a sticky note and leave it somewhere unexpected—it's a lovely surprise that adds to the romance.
Maintain your allure. If you want romance to stay alive, keep things fresh by taking care of your appearance. If after years you’ve stopped making an effort, wearing the same old sweatpants, skipping showers or shaving, that's not the way to keep the spark. Try to pay attention to your appearance as you did when you first met.
- Be neat every day—shower, shave, wash your hair, etc., to look fresh and clean.
- Don't neglect how you dress for date nights. Even if it's the 500th date, always keep things fresh by looking your best.
- Experiment with new hairstyles, makeup styles, or outfits to keep things exciting and avoid monotony.
Never stop flirting. Imagine you’ve just met someone and you want them to like you. What would you do to make an impression? How would you show them that you’re interested and want to take things further? Treat your partner as if they are still single, and you’re trying to win their affection and trust.
- The opposite of romance is indifference. No one wants to feel like they’ve been "caught" and that it’s all over. Don’t get too complacent! Keep flirting!
- The most romantic ideas often come when you fear losing the person you love. But you don’t have to act like you're about to lose your partner to get that feeling into your head.
Break the boring routine. Many people begin their relationships full of romance, excitement, and anticipation because everything is new. You’ve just met someone, and the relationship is opening up, but what will happen tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Will they call you? Will you kiss each other, pick each other up, or go on dates? As the relationship stabilizes and falls into a routine, there will be no more surprises.
- To stay romantic, try to reignite those early feelings by doing something different, something your partner wouldn’t expect. The more unusual, the better!
- Take your partner out of the dreariness with a weekend getaway, stop abruptly on the road for a deep kiss, or send a letter with a list of reasons why you love them—even if you live together.
Make your bedroom romantic. The more seductive the bedroom, the more you’ll feel inspired to have fun with your partner. Ensure that this is your ‘intimate space’ for two and not a place to dump dirty laundry, leftover snack wrappers, or set up a crib for the baby.
- You and your partner can redecorate your bedroom to make it simpler and more sensual, especially if it’s otherwise just a place to sleep and make love.
- Even just ‘sexy-ifying’ your bedroom together can be a romantic and alluring activity.
Romance in the bedroom. Whether you've been sleeping together for years or have just moved beyond kissing, always keep the romance alive during both intimate moments and physical closeness. Don’t forget to gaze into each other's eyes, tell them how much they mean to you, and offer fresh compliments each time you kiss or cuddle.
- Don’t rush the process—take your time so your partner feels loved and appreciated.
Spend some private time apart. While it may not sound romantic when you're not together, taking some time for yourselves—even for a week or longer—will remind you why you love each other, and you’ll come to appreciate each other even more.
- Occasionally spending time with friends will make your date nights with your partner feel even more precious.
- When you’re apart, you can even make a list of things you miss about your partner. It will be a sweet memory.
- If you're apart for a few weeks or longer, write letters/emails to each other to let them know how much you miss them.
Explore the world outside. Whether or not you love nature, doing this together can be incredibly romantic. You can take morning walks, hike, stroll along the beach, or even spend an afternoon camping or wandering through a park.
- Set aside at least one day each week to spend time outdoors together.
- If you're looking for something simpler, preparing a meal together and enjoying it on the balcony or in the backyard can still create a romantic atmosphere.
- It doesn't matter where you are, sunset is always a beautiful setting for couples.
Growing Together
Engage in activities that stimulate adrenaline. Dedicate time to activities that can boost this hormone, like brisk walking, yoga, or doing beauty treatments together. As adrenaline levels rise, you'll feel more sensual, and it will become even more romantic when you do this with your partner. If you both don't work out together often, try to set aside at least one session per week to improve your fitness and increase adrenaline.
- You can even increase adrenaline production by walking to your dinner location instead of driving.
- Sign up for dance classes together. It's not only romantic but also great for your health.
Build self-esteem. When both you and your partner are confident in your own abilities, you'll not only feel proud of yourselves but also take pride in each other and your relationship. You can build self-esteem through regular exercise, healthy eating, and, most importantly, feeling proud of what you do and the qualities that make you unique.
- You and your partner can boost each other's confidence with compliments.
- Strengthen your pride by setting short-term and long-term goals and achieving them together.
Pursue romantic hobbies together. If you want to keep the romance alive and growing, both of you should share a common hobby. This will keep the relationship fresh and give you something to look forward to. Here are some ideas to consider:
- Take a salsa dancing, ballroom dancing, or tap dance class together.
- If you're musically inclined, write a song together and perform it.
- Take a pottery or painting class together.
- If you both enjoy writing, you could compose romantic poems for each other.
- Make stargazing a hobby. Discover constellations together and admire your partner's dreamy gaze as they look up at the sky.
- Learn to cook together. A romantic evening awaits when you prepare a delicious meal together, paired with wine and some jazz music.
Regularly express your feelings to your partner. If you truly want the relationship to grow, let your partner know how much you love them and how important this relationship is. Despite any tension, frustration, or discomfort you may feel, don't let a single day pass without expressing love.
- It's nothing big, just say you love them whenever you feel it.
Advice
- Avoid excessive clinginess as it may make your partner uncomfortable.
- If your partner doesn't seem to respond to your efforts, it's not because you're not romantic; it could be that they just can't accept it. Perhaps they're not the romantic type, or maybe they're distracted by the pressures of life. If you feel rejected, don't give up. Have a conversation about it.
- Don't assume that the person you're trying to be romantic with is just like you. A dance evening might be the most romantic thing for you, but they may not feel the same way. Remember, even if your partner is very close to you, they are still a unique individual, not just a reflection of you. Surprise them with something different from your usual self, as long as it brings them joy.
- Occasionally, expressing affection in an old-fashioned or slightly extravagant way can also be very effective.
Warning
- Being romantic doesn't mean being annoying. This is the distinction between showing appreciation and expecting the other person to give all their time in return. You are an individual, not just half of a relationship. Therefore, don't exhaust yourself trying to be romantic for the sake of the other person. You can still be romantic while staying your true self.
- Don't let the outward romance overshadow other important qualities. If someone gives you a great first impression, take your time to get to know them better. They may be great, or they may not be; only time will tell.
