Buzz
Theft is a prevalent issue in society. Some people steal only once or twice, while others can't resist the compulsion to steal. Some steal because they cannot afford items, others may find pleasure in the act of stealing, while some feel entitled to take what they want without paying. Stealing has serious consequences, including imprisonment and having a criminal record. While not officially considered an addiction, compulsive stealing – a form of impulse control disorder linked to theft – can lead to feelings of shame and guilt. To address the stealing habit, it is crucial to: acknowledge that you have a problem with stealing, seek external support, change your mindset about stealing, plan to prevent relapses, find alternatives to stealing behavior, and educate yourself about the act of stealing.
Steps
Acknowledge that you have a problem with stealing behavior
Understand that you deserve help. It is important to know your worth, as many individuals with guilt complexes (including shame from stealing) may not believe they deserve help. This often prevents them from seeking assistance. You truly deserve help, compassion, and you are not alone.
Identify your stealing behavior. The first important step is to identify the specific triggers that lead you to steal in order to begin changing this behavior.
- Do you steal to experience a rush of emotional satisfaction? Do you first feel tense, then tremble with excitement before stealing, and feel relief afterward? Is there a sense of guilt, shame, and regret afterward? These could be signs that stealing is an issue for you.
- Do you steal as an escape? While stealing, do you feel like you're not yourself or disconnected from reality? This feeling is quite common for individuals with a stealing habit.
Write down your feelings. Once you have identified the triggers behind your stealing behavior, try writing about the urge to steal freely. Do not 'censor' your feelings – every thought or emotion you experience should be noted.
- Remember to name those feelings, such as anger, fear, loneliness, secrecy, exposure, vulnerability, etc., that accompany the urge to steal.
Identify the consequences. Thinking about the consequences of stealing can help curb the urge. If you have been caught or have been caught multiple times, write down everything about it. You should also note the emotions that came with it – like shame and guilt – as well as the coping behaviors you used, such as excessive drinking, self-harm, destroying stolen items, or other destructive actions.
- If you’ve been caught, how intense were your feelings at the time? Why do you feel that it hasn’t been enough to overcome the urge to steal? Write it all down.
Seek external support
Consider therapy. While you may be able to fight the urge to steal on your own with strong determination, seeking therapy could also be helpful. The best form of support is talking to a psychologist or psychiatrist. A combination of therapy and medication can be effective in treating kleptomania or stealing impulses.
- Remember, therapy for kleptomania/impulsive stealing can be very successful in helping you overcome this disorder, but don’t forget that the results also depend on how strong your determination is and how ready you are to commit to the process!
Understand the available treatment options. Some of the most common approaches to treating kleptomania include: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), psychodynamic therapy, and group therapy/12-step programs. CBT helps individuals alter their thinking, which then changes their emotions and behaviors. DBT focuses on teaching people how to endure distress, regulate emotions, communicate effectively, and practice mindfulness. Psychodynamic therapy examines your past and upbringing to identify root causes and develop solutions for current issues. While 12-step programs are primarily designed for substance addiction, there are also specific 12-step programs tailored to kleptomania.
- You can discuss these options with a mental health professional.
- You may also explore these therapies on your own using self-help techniques. For instance, CBT involves changing your thoughts to alter your feelings and behaviors.
Explore medication options. Some medications prescribed for treating kleptomania include Prozac and Revia.
- Consult with a psychiatrist for more details or to discuss mental health treatment options.
Change your thoughts about stealing behavior
Identify and challenge your thoughts. Changing your thoughts to modify your feelings and behaviors is the key aspect of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a method used to treat stealing behavior and kleptomania. By monitoring your unconscious thoughts, you can alter your stealing habits.
- Reflect on the thoughts that come up when you're about to steal something. For example, you might think, “I really want to do this,” or, “I’ll get away with it.”
- Consider who benefits from this. Is it just you, or do your family and friends also benefit? How does this action serve you or others? If part of your urge to steal comes from a desire to establish your position or seek a sense of security within your social group by “bribing” their affection or responding to their attention with items, you need to recognize that motivation as inner insecurity.
Practice changing your thought patterns. Once you’ve identified your thinking patterns, you can begin developing alternative thoughts. This process involves recognizing the negative thoughts that reinforce your stealing behavior and actively working to change those thoughts in the present moment.
- For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I really want that ring, and I’m going to steal it,” shift your thought to, “I want that ring, but stealing is wrong, so I’ll focus on saving money for it.”
Consider the bigger picture. When the urge to steal and your plan to do so intensify, take some time to reflect on what you're about to do and all the possible consequences that may follow. This moment of introspection is vital, as you might feel like your life lacks purpose, or that you're unable to control certain aspects of it.
- For some individuals, stealing serves as a form of passive rebellion against circumstances that make them feel powerless. Reflecting on larger concerns will allow you to start developing personal goals for your life, helping you establish boundaries against negative behaviors that hinder your ability to achieve your goals.
Be ready to assert yourself and your needs. If you lack the courage to stand up for yourself or constantly feel dismissed, criticized, and let down by others, you may be more inclined to use stealing as a form of "revenge" against those you feel have hurt or ignored you. Alternatively, you may use stealing to numb your emotions. Unfortunately, by not asserting yourself or recognizing your worth, you jeopardize your future and allow the actions of others to hurt you even more. Remind yourself that the only person you truly hurt is yourself, not anyone else. While you may upset those who care about you, your actions are not punishing them; you're only punishing yourself.
- Read How to Stand Up for Yourself, How to Be Assertive, and How to Communicate with Assertiveness to learn more.
Create a relapse prevention plan
Identify your stealing behavior history. Developing a relapse prevention plan is crucial in controlling the urge to steal and preventing future occurrences. The first step in preventing relapse is identifying past issues related to your stealing behavior.
- You can use the information from the previous exercise as a starting point for your plan to prevent future stealing.
- Write down your stealing history. List as many incidents as possible, beginning from your childhood. Note the circumstances at the time and the factors that influenced your decision to steal.
- Assess the level of the urge to steal in each incident. Use a scale of 1 to 10 to rate how strong the urge was in each incident you recorded.
Understand and manage your stealing triggers. Triggers are the thoughts and feelings you experience in situations that may lead to stealing. Record the thoughts and feelings associated with your stealing behavior.
- Learn about high-risk situations. The key to managing the urge to steal is recognizing high-risk situations to avoid.
- How do you feel when you engage in stealing? Try to identify specific triggers, such as someone making you angry, being scolded, feeling unloved, rejected, etc.
- Pay attention to the correlation between your stealing triggers and the intensity of your urges.
- Keep this list, journal, or record safe.
- Avoid situations that might trigger or create opportunities for stealing, such as being around friends who engage in stealing or visiting stores with poor security. Avoid these situations at all costs to resist temptation.
Follow the plan to control the urge. This plan includes self-talk before taking further steps. Try following these steps:
- Stop. Instead of acting impulsively, stop immediately.
- Breathe. Stand still and give yourself space to breathe.
- Observe. Think about what’s happening. How are you feeling? What are you thinking? What are you reacting to?
- Step back. Try to view the situation from an objective perspective. Is there another way to think about it? Picture the scenario after stealing when you're holding the item and ask yourself what to do with it and how to overcome the guilt.
- Take effective actions. Choose actions you want to take instead of stealing. Plan behavior changes whenever the urge to steal arises. Useful actions include reminding yourself of who you are and your values, telling yourself that you are a good and valuable person, practicing self-soothing techniques, and visualizing peaceful scenes to reduce your heart rate and ease stress.
Continue monitoring your behavior. Once you've mastered the art of controlling your urges and reduced or eliminated stealing behavior, it’s important to keep tracking your relapse prevention plan and adjust it as needed.
- Return to the present. Daily document any stealing incidents you may still engage in, if any. As before, write about your feelings and the level of the urge to steal.
- Balance your entries. Be sure to record your achievements, what you're proud of, and things you're grateful for. Try to gradually shift your journaling focus toward these positive aspects to help build your self-esteem.
Find alternatives to stealing behavior
Distract yourself. Find alternatives to stealing—activities that give you a sense of satisfaction or interest without harming your life. These could include hobbies, volunteer work, helping others, creating crafts, gardening, taking care of animals, writing, painting, studying, becoming an activist for your beliefs, or other wonderful activities to replace stealing. Whatever activity you choose, make sure it benefits you, and doesn’t merely swap one disorder for another (like drowning your sorrows in alcohol).
Maintain a positive outlook. If stealing is a way to fill the emptiness in your life, try filling that void with other activities. Take up a sport or physical exercise, find a hobby, or start volunteering. Rather than resorting to stealing to pass the time, use your time more productively and effectively. This will help boost your self-esteem, replenish your energy, and alleviate boredom. It will prevent stealing due to having nothing better to do or from living a purposeless life. Just keep yourself busy, and everything else will follow.
Consider finding a job, earning extra allowances or wages, or reevaluating your budget. If you resort to stealing due to survival needs, financial hardship, or emotional triggers, having a stable and more reliable source of income may help reduce the urge or "need" to steal. Moreover, the safety and daily routines associated with employment can restore a sense of responsibility and self-respect that you may have lost in life. This step might not be effective if you already have sufficient funds, a job, or if money is not a concern, but if financial issues are your main problem, securing a steady income could help.
Find a way to cope with emotions. Use the knowledge gained from journaling therapy to begin managing the emotions and feelings that trigger your desire to steal. Address anger, confusion, sadness, distress, and similar emotions. Recognize your initial feelings and find new ways to deal with them instead of resorting to stealing behavior.
- Take notes on new ways to entertain, distract, or amuse yourself. What kinds of thoughts and actions have you discovered that might help improve your mood?
Learn more about the behavior of stealing.
Understand the behavior of stealing and the obsession with theft. To address stealing behavior, it's helpful to determine whether you are simply engaging in theft or if you have a specific disorder. It's recommended to seek professional mental health counseling.
- Shoplifting disorder affects 3-6% of the population. In other words, roughly 1 in 200 people meet the criteria for being diagnosed with compulsive stealing as a disorder.
- 11% of people have "stolen" at least once in their lifetime. This means that more than 1 in 10 people have shoplifted at least once. However, one or two instances of theft are not considered a disorder.
- Compulsive stealing is an impulse control disorder; it involves a feeling of "pleasure" when committing the act of stealing, accompanied by guilt afterward. This disorder is also characterized by the inability to resist or stop stealing despite multiple attempts.
- Shoplifting is not classified as an addiction, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), a reference guide for mental health professionals and psychiatrists in diagnosing mental disorders.
Identify the causes. The symptoms of stealing behavior could be part of another disorder. For example, conditions such as: conduct disorder, bipolar disorder, antisocial personality disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder all include behaviors related to stealing. You may also be diagnosed with other disorders that could lead to compulsive stealing, such as dissociative states, stress, anxiety, and mental health disorders.
Learn about the behavior of stealing. Seek additional information at libraries or bookstores. In today's digital age, it's easy to find more details on health and well-being; however, make sure to consult reputable websites, such as government health sites or those authored by doctors and psychologists, which are backed by references and peer-reviewed by experts. Additionally, you may visit forums where people with similar disorders share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, as this can help you realize that you're not alone.
Advice
- If you can't afford something but really want it, consider a more affordable alternative, such as swapping items. Perhaps temporarily borrowing something from someone might satisfy your urge to possess it.
- Talk to a close friend or family member about your issue. They may offer helpful advice and become a valuable support system for you. Sharing your problem with a loved one can make a significant difference.
- If you feel unable to speak to a doctor, consider confiding in a trusted family member.
Warning
- Returning stolen items could lead to legal complications. If there's a way to return the stolen item without facing consequences, you should do so—perhaps leaving it outside the store if it's unopened or mailing it with a letter or note of apology.
Things You Will Need
- A notebook or journal to record your emotions, triggers, and solutions—you can either make one yourself using inexpensive paper or BUY an affordable version. It's important that you pay for it or earn it honestly; otherwise, you will defeat the purpose right from the start, and this is crucial.
