How to Cause Disturbance

Create Noise. Sing along to any sound you hear. Even if the song isn’t one you like. Especially annoying tunes or children's songs. If a friend is listening to music on their iPod, grab their headphones and sing along to the song you're hearing (this is perfect for you if you can't tell the pitch of the sound). Speak loudly in public places or on the phone. It doesn't matter if you're actually talking to someone. Share your friends' personal information at full volume and repeat it non-stop. When they ask you to quiet down, respond by speaking even louder.

• Remember, you don’t need to know the actual lyrics of a song; you can make them up as you sing – the more ridiculous, the better! And to make it even more effective, if you’re watching TV, sing along to any catchy jingle. You can even repeat a tune over and over until everyone around you can't stand it. If they leave, yell as loud as you can until they come back.

Respond with a simple yes or no to any question someone asks. "How’s things between you and Ngoc?" "Yes." "Does that mean everything’s good?" "No." "Forget I even asked..."

Loudly imitate animal sounds. You’ll definitely irritate others if you sneak up behind them and suddenly mimic animal sounds out loud. If someone shouts at you or scolds you, reply with a different sound.

Keep asking "why?" when someone gives you an explanation, and interrupt them each time with "why?" as they try to answer.

Act completely clueless. Ask personal, embarrassing questions that will put others on the spot. You could ask dozens of questions or spread private details to everyone. If you want to do this with a stranger, you could ask them if they’re pregnant.

• Laugh for no reason at all and at random moments. Don't explain why you're laughing when someone asks, just scold them as if they’ve insulted you.
• Additionally, you can make up a joke that only you understand and not share it with others. When someone asks why it's so funny, just tell them it's a joke that only you get.

Act absurd. Move your legs constantly. Act as though you cannot stay still. Keep performing repetitive actions in front of others.

• Stare at something that doesn't exist above someone's head. When you're talking to someone, suddenly open your mouth a little and stare at a spot on top of their head. If they touch their head and ask, "What’s that?", hold back your laughter, shake your head, and keep talking. For extra annoyance, repeat this at inconvenient times during the day.
• When someone asks you about something, you could answer with, "Of course, would you like fries with that?" Also, whenever they express their opinion on something, interrupt them and shout, "She said that too," even if it's totally inappropriate.
• Use Vietnamese to tell others you don’t know the language and that you're learning it from a tutor. This approach works even better when you use long, rarely used words—terms that only fluent speakers would understand.

Use crude humor to get a laugh. Announce to those around you that you need to use the restroom and suggest that they should join you, since they've been holding it in for quite a while. Once they're in the restroom with you, ask them loudly, "Are you okay?" To make it even more uncomfortable, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly declare, "My friend is in there using the restroom," while pointing at the stall. After you're done, step out of the bathroom with a relieved sigh and proceed to talk about your bathroom experience, even if no one wants to hear it.

Disrupt basic grammar rules and language use. Make small spelling mistakes, and when someone points it out, tell them they're the one who's silly for spelling everything wrong. WRITE EVERYTHING IN ALL CAPS. NEVER STOP USING CAPS LOCK ON YOUR KEYBOARD. When you really want to emphasize something, use lowercase instead. Or WRITE LiKe ThIs in a stylized way.

• Don’t follow basic punctuation rules? Keep overusing commas. Don't worry, there's no need for exclamation marks. Well done, Mr. Wiki
• Purposefully misspell everything, and get upset when people don't understand you.
• Don't use vowels.
• Replace every punctuation mark with the word 'stop' or invent some silly phrase like 'cake icing' to end your sentences.
• Spell everything backward, like "ngực cơ nàv hnáđ".
• Pretend like you know everything about everyone. For example, if you're watching a makeup tutorial, comment as if the woman in the video grew up in South Asia and had 18 children by the time she was 14, etc.

Dominate the entire online comment section. Flood it with long-winded requests to repost the comment. If a video has no comments yet, add one like, "OH MY GOD, I’M THE FIRST ONE TO COMMENT!" or something similar. You can also post a comment asking, "What’s the name of this video?" Start pointless debates.

• Find an old classic rock video on YouTube and complain about Justin Bieber. Just make some vague complaint like, "the cake you're eating is spoiled." As long as you're sure the readers won't care at all.
• Post similar content over and over on forums and message boards. Other people will get frustrated when you reply with "me too" on a post from 2001.

Use emoticons (emoji). You can also use abbreviations. Employing non-verbal communication in all your chats is a smart choice if you want to annoy others. Add 'lol' at the end of your sentence, even if the conversation isn’t funny at all.

• Additionally, you can write 'liil' instead of 'lol' and then say, 'Oh, sorry, I keep typing wrong, liil! Oops, I meant kopl, I mean LOL!'

Creating fake identities. Use a fake name on AIM and send messages to 'close friends' or people you know. Start the conversation by pretending to be their best friend, or act as if your partner just broke up with you.

• On Facebook, you can create a fan page or a group page with your name. Invite people you know or don’t know to join. Set up a ridiculous profile that's even worse than your real persona and treat it like a third party.
• Join an online game and choose the most feminine and cute outfit for your character, using a totally feminine username, and fill it with emoticons. If someone asks, "Are you a girl?", respond with "... no" or "I don’t know", whether you're actually a woman or not. Note: This will make the conversation extremely awkward.
• On an online chat page, pretend to be a child. When someone uses adult language, ask them what it means or say, "My mom/dad always says (insert words)! You two are alike!" Misspell everything. Ask silly questions like, "How can I log in without my mom helping me?"

Oversharing. On Facebook, post about every single movement you make. Detail every action in your status updates. This will make others extremely uncomfortable. On Halloween, you can summarize every horror movie you watch on Netflix every 15 minutes.

• Start a long, boring email conversation with someone, but send it to everyone in the reply-all section.

DO NOT engage in this behavior on your favorite websites because you might get banned.

Spoiling the plot. If you've already seen a movie at the theater, lean out into the aisle and loudly shout the ending of the film. Yell from the back of the theater. You could also make up a fake ending, or loudly announce the ending of a different movie, like "Harry Potter looks like he's dead, but he's not actually!".

• When an important scene occurs, like when the killer is revealed, or when the main characters finally get together, sneeze or cough loudly. Then shout out the reason for your sneeze/cough. "*Cough* OH, SORRY, THERE'S SOMETHING STUCK IN MY THROAT!". Make sure everyone can hear you.

Making a lot of noise. Laugh loudly at the same old jokes. Hush anyone who complains, and then loudly discuss how rude everyone is for talking in the movie theater while others are trying to watch the film.

• Slurp loudly as you try to get the last few drops of your soda.
• Bring along two or more friends to chat loudly with during the movie, and remember to sit as close to others as possible. If they ask you to be quiet, throw popcorn at them.
• If no one wants to accompany you, bring your mobile phone and keep it out of silent mode. Let it ring loudly like a car horn and don’t answer it for at least a minute.

Physically disturbing others. Make sure you sit in the middle row, and every 10 minutes, get up and walk out into the aisle. Wander around a little before returning to your seat. You can pause in the middle of the aisle on your way back. Buy some cheap gummy candy, like gummy bears, and secretly throw them down the aisle or toss them at the person in front or behind you. If someone gives you a strange look, just eat a piece of candy.

• Constantly kick the seat of the person in front of you. You can also rest your feet on their chair. The dirtier your shoes, the better.
• Wear jogging clothes and start walking up and down the aisle, breathing heavily and swinging your hips like you’re a professional race walker.
• Get up and go to the bathroom, but while standing at the door, hold it open for a few minutes while watching the movie screen.
• If you're at the movies with a date, you can stand up and start kissing them during the best part of the film, driving the person behind you crazy.

Harassing the staff. Ask the snack bar manager if straws are free. Stare at the ticket taker for a long period of time.

• Make special requests, asking staff to provide extra seating for your imaginary friend or your paralyzed brother named Hai. If they refuse, say something completely unrelated to the issue, like "Your dad's asparagus plant is a vital plant." Act as though what you're saying is extremely important. If they agree to your request, act like you have no idea what they're talking about. You may get kicked out of the theater, but who cares?

Messing with the teacher. Critique the teacher's handwriting or the homework assignments they give you. Use "pedagogical" terms. Investigate the teacher’s personal life. Refuse to do homework. Constantly change your seat. If the teacher is taking attendance, act like you’re in the movie Billy Madison and fart while raising your hand instead of saying "Here".

• Correct the teacher's grammar as a method to annoy them. Incorrect corrections work even better, like saying "I think what you meant was, 'Who is going to take a break,' right, Ms. Ha?" You can also make up words and pretend everyone in the class knows them. If the teacher says it’s not a real word, tell them how ridiculous they are.
• Whenever the teacher explains something, claim you don’t understand. When they explain again, continue to act confused. Repeat this endlessly.
• Continuously repeat a math problem to drive your classmates and teacher crazy. For example: "2 times 4 equals what?" "8." "7 times 6 equals what?" "8." "4 times 5 equals what?" "8."

Talking too much. During lunch, you can approach someone, sit next to them, and exclaim, "Oh my God, Binh, you are the best friend in the world!" If their name is really Binh, call them Tin instead. Mimic everything the others say. Always answer questions incorrectly or at least raise your hand. Always make statements like "I see yellow flowers on the green grass." Find out your friends' names, then run off.

• Say "Hello" in a central accent to classmates without any reason. Then, ask the guys with many girlfriends if those girls are their girlfriends, and vice versa with the girls in the class.
• Ask why someone is crying, even though they aren’t. If they tell you they aren’t crying, begin explaining to them that crying is not something to be ashamed of. Share in detail about the time you cried, such as "One time, I cried so much after my partner dumped me." As they turn away, grab their hand and pull them back toward you. Make sure your saliva splashes on them to make things even more awkward.

Doing pointless things. Make sounds like an ambulance, a performance, or even the echoes or clicking sounds. Record them on your phone and play them frequently.

• Stare at the ceiling while someone talks to you, and when they ask what you're doing, just say, "It’s just... it’s sitting up there," with a strange tone. Or look at the floor and say it's "sitting down there."
• Sing songs about your friends to make them feel irritated. Repeat the song in a strange tone. For example, "Spring, oh Spring, spring has come. / Mai, I have truly loved you" are some quite classic lyrics.

Using your body. Crack your knuckles loudly. Fart, burp, cough, sneeze, and wipe your nose on your sleeve. Say "Excuse me" in a silly voice whenever you do something you don’t even need to apologize for. Keep repeating or singing the same word.

• Bring chewing gum to class and chew loudly right next to someone’s ear.
• When speaking to a teacher up close, cough loudly without covering your mouth.

Messing with computers. Change the desktop wallpaper to an image that will embarrass your friends or make them think it's ridiculous, such as a photo of the Jonas Brothers or a space cat to draw attention when they return to their computer. Delete desktop icons or rearrange them in crude shapes.

• Constantly alter the system settings. Adjust the mouse or trackpad sensitivity to make it extremely sensitive, or set the screen to turn off after 30 seconds of inactivity.

Buy a ridiculously sized car. Whether it's an absurdly huge Suburban or a tiny Smart Car, always drive it during rush hour so your car becomes the obnoxious giant trying to claim space on the crowded road, or you can weave in and out like a crazed rabbit.

• Always remember to attach a trailer behind your car, or something equally silly, like "a horse".

Turn the radio volume up. Play some embarrassing music when friends are in the car with you, like the Titanic theme song, children's songs, lullabies, or extremely crude rap songs. Alternatively, you can blast the Vietnamese national anthem. This is especially effective when you're not in Vietnam.

Act weird while waiting for a red light. Honk the horn. If you're behind someone, keep honking continuously. If you feel like it, just keep your hand on the horn.

• When stopped at a red light, rest your head on the steering wheel and pretend to faint or pass out, or just remain still. When someone comes to check on you, wake up and scream loudly.

"Ask for directions." When driving and seeing a pedestrian, you can pull over, wave at them, smile, stick your head out the car window, and shout loudly at anyone driving or walking nearby. Ask them where Wonderland is. Get annoyed when they don't know.

• Shout a random word (like: "surely") at someone's face, then roll up the window.
• Ask about the mustard storage capacity of the car next to you.

Gọi điện vào giờ giấc không phù hợp. Gọi điện vào buổi tối muộn, khi người bạn của bạn đang ngủ. Nếu trong lần gọi đầu tiên người đó không bắt máy, hãy thử lại thêm một vài lần. Nếu người đó vẫn không bắt máy, bạn có thể thử lại sau một vài giờ. Gọi điện cho bạn bè khi bạn biết chắc rằng họ đang bận và không ngừng gọi điện cho đến khi họ bắt máy.

• Sử dụng số điện thoại khác nhau để gọi. Cách này sẽ làm giảm nguy cơ bị người khác phát hiện, và tăng cường khả năng trả lời điện thoại của đối phương. Hãy thêm đầu số +84 vào số điện thoại mà bạn sử dụng để người khác không thể biết được bạn là ai. Bắt đầu ba hoa và lặp lại những điều tương tự nhau nhiều lần. Nếu họ biết bạn là ai cũng đừng ngừng lại.
• Gọi điện cho sếp của bạn vào 2 giờ sáng chỉ để "nói chuyện". Và sau đó, chờ đợi để bị sa thải.

Không nói gì cả. Không nói bất kỳ điều gì khi đối phương bắt máy, chỉ lắng nghe lời họ nói "Alô? Alô? Alô? Ai vậy? Có ai ở đó không? Nói gì đi chứ!". Nhớ thở hổn hển.

• Khi bạn nói chuyện, liên tục nhấn phím trên điện thoại để chúng phát ra tiếng bíp. Hành động này sẽ làm người đó điên tiết lên.
• Khi bạn ngừng nói, bấm nút để chúng tạo ra tiếng "bíp" gây cản trở cho người mà bạn đang trò chuyện.

Để lại nhiều tin nhắn. Hét to vào phút cuối khi để lại tin nhắn. Sau đó nói rằng "Ghi chú" và nói một điều ngẫu nhiên nào đó chẳng hạn như "nhan sắc có hạn, thủ đoạn vô biên!". Hát cũng là một biện pháp hay.

Gọi điện cho người lạ. Gọi điện cho một người lạ mặt nào đó và bắt đầu khóc than thảm thiết trong điện thoại và nói rằng "Tôi biết điều này sẽ xảy ra! Tôi biết rằng nó chỉ còn là vấn đề thời gian! Tôi phải làm gì đây?". Nếu người đó trả lời rằng "Tôi nghĩ bạn đã gọi nhầm số", hãy nói rằng, "Không ai yêu tôi hết!" và gác máy.

• Giữa cuộc trò chuyện, bạn có thể nói một câu nào đó một cách máy móc chẳng hạn như "Chiếc điện thoại này sẽ tự hủy trong...' sau đó ấn bất kỳ một phím số nào trên điện thoại và đếm ngược từ 10 trong khi ấn phím.
• Khi trả lời điện thoại lên, hãy hành động như thể tín hiệu bị nhiễu. Sau khoảng 10 lần, lên tiếng nói rằng "Ồ, xin chào". Hoặc nếu đối phương gác máy, hãy gọi lại cho họ và giả vờ như thể tín hiệu lại bị nhiễu.

Chew food loudly. There's no need for proper etiquette at the dinner table. The louder you chew, the better. Always remember to keep your mouth wide open while chewing. Burp, fart, sneeze, and gross everyone out by burying your face in your plate of spaghetti.

Act rude. When leaving the restaurant, always make sure to complain about the service and the food. Be as detailed as possible with your complaints: "My pizza slice had three pieces of sausage!", "I wanted four ice cubes, not five!"

• If the restaurant has balloons on each table for kids, grab them all and tell them you're collecting them for a living.
• Enter the restaurant dressed like a caveman. Grow a five o' clock shadow and do similar things. And instead of answering with "Yes", say "Uh!".

Mess with the waitstaff. When the waiter asks, "What would you like to eat?", you could reply with "Food!". If they suggest something to you, scream, "I'm allergic to that!"

• Point at a dish on the menu and ask, "What's this dish?". When the waiter explains, pick a random ingredient (like lima beans) and shout, "I hate lima beans!".
• Tell the waiter you need five seats for your imaginary friend. If they refuse, yell that you’ll tell Santa (St. Nicholas) they’ve been naughty.
• Order random or nonexistent dishes. For example, "I want the dinosaur burger with some toilet paper. I also want elephant meat. Oh, and do you have the Monopoly set? Is the Tinker Bell dish good here?"
• Sit at the reserved table or sit alone at a large table for multiple people and refuse to move.