How to Change Your Attitude at Work

Recognize when your attitude started to deteriorate. Is this something that has always been part of your attitude? Or has it only emerged recently? Did you just begin a new job or role? Has a colleague you liked recently left the company? Do you feel lost at work? Perhaps your company is undergoing restructuring. Identifying when your bad attitude began can help uncover the root cause behind it.

• If your bad attitude is not a constant, consider whether the issue may not entirely be yours. No one lives in isolation, and external factors like a rude boss or a negative coworker can have a significant impact on you.
• If you once enjoyed your job but are now feeling disenchanted, reflect on the changes that have occurred. Were you reassigned to a new position? You may still be adjusting to the new role. Are you going through a different phase in your life? For example, you might have enjoyed working in retail in your youth, but ten years later, that job may no longer fulfill your needs. A sense of dissatisfaction or loss of purpose could lead to a negative attitude towards your work.

Keep a detailed journal of your workplace attitude throughout the day. Track your mood in hourly intervals or similar. Do you notice any patterns? For example, do you tend to feel worse in the mornings or late afternoons, especially when you're exhausted? Does your mood depend on who you're meeting with? Your colleagues' attitudes might affect your own. If, for instance, you regularly meet with a colleague who has a negative outlook, it could influence your mood. Identifying these mood shifts can help you understand when and with whom your attitude deteriorates. To tackle "mid-day slump" or irritability, try taking a short walk or having a healthy snack. If you notice your mood often worsens after certain interactions, such as with a supervisor or coworker, it’s important to address this. Managing negative influences at work can boost both your happiness and productivity.

Now that you've pinpointed when your attitude typically worsens, take a deeper look at how you truly feel during these moments. Write down your emotions during these low points. You might feel frustrated, exhausted, disheartened, or underappreciated. Identifying these feelings is essential for solving the issue. For instance, imagine rereading your journal entry: "My boss yelled at me for being late to a project meeting. I felt stupid and incompetent." This situation might show you that you need to have a constructive conversation with your boss about communication. It's also important to remember that making occasional mistakes doesn’t make you foolish.

Take responsibility for your own attitude. While circumstances may have an impact, your attitude ultimately depends on how you approach situations. You alone control how you respond to personal challenges. The first step toward improving your mood and mindset is to adjust your behavior. Even if you're dealing with a difficult boss or a pessimistic coworker, it's up to you whether you choose to react negatively or positively. Will you contribute to escalating the problem or will you work to resolve it? Remember that negativity can spread from person to person. Don’t let yourself become a carrier.

Avoid negative influences. Do you often feel worse after reading certain newspapers or watching specific news programs? Perhaps the morning news brings you down. Once you’ve identified the sources of negativity, try to minimize your exposure to them. If that’s not possible, try to change your reaction. For example, if you read about a natural disaster, think about the ways you can contribute to helping. What can you donate—money, clothes, food, or time? Consider positive actions you can take instead of letting negativity affect you.

If a colleague constantly brings down your mood, try to limit your interactions with them. If you can’t avoid them, steer the conversation toward positive topics. Ask them about good things happening at work, their favorite movies, or other upbeat subjects. Redirecting the conversation in a more optimistic direction may help both of you.

When discussing important matters, it’s easy for conversations to turn negative. However, negativity only makes the issue worse. Instead, try using the following strategies:

• Rather than saying, "Bad news—nothing will help," you could say, "I have some concerns about this. Would you like to hear them?"
• Rather than resorting to passive-aggressive remarks or hiding your true thoughts, try being straightforward. For instance, avoid saying, "Why is this happening to me?" when upset. Instead, you might say, "I'm not happy with how you spoke to me in front of our colleagues. Could we talk about it?"
• Workplace gossip can significantly contribute to a negative attitude. Avoid participating in such conversations.

Express positivity even on tough days. Greet others with a smile, even when you’re feeling down. Try not to spread your gloomy mood at work. Be mindful of your words—what you say reflects your thoughts and beliefs. Let your speech uplift the workplace atmosphere. Smile often, give compliments, and support others.

• If you're going through a challenging period or dealing with a painful situation, consider confiding in your manager or a trusted colleague so they know you may need some support.

If a colleague’s negativity is affecting your mood, address it with them politely. It’s likely that their attitude is impacting others too, but no one wants to confront it.

• Use 'I' statements to keep the conversation non-accusatory, such as: "I’d like to talk with you about something. I’ve noticed that you’ve been complaining about customer issues lately. I understand that we all face challenges with clients, but constantly focusing on the negative is making it hard for me to stay motivated and focused. Could you share what’s going on?" Using 'I' language helps avoid blame and judgment, making the conversation more open and less defensive.

Listen carefully. You may not fully understand what’s going on with him, so give him a chance to explain. Perhaps his mother is ill, making him more irritable, or he might be stressed about poor work performance or feeling undervalued compared to others in the team. Recognizing the underlying cause can help both of you address the issue together. Often, colleagues will appreciate being heard. Show empathy, for example, saying things like: 'That must be really tough for you' or 'I’m really sorry for what you're going through.' Even if the conversation doesn't go as hoped, at least you made an effort. If necessary, you can mention to HR or your supervisor that you tried to have a discussion with the person but didn’t reach a resolution.

Recognize the signs of having a rude boss. Everyone has bad days now and then, but some people are simply office bullies. If your supervisor is rude or doesn’t provide constructive criticism, maintaining a positive attitude at work can be extremely difficult. Rudeness includes behaviors that are unacceptable, like threats, harassment, deceit, humiliation, personal criticism, cursing, and coercion. If these behaviors persist and feel hostile or unmanageable, it might even be illegal. For instance, if your boss criticizes your work by saying, 'This is terrible! Even my grandmother could do better!' that’s rude, though it might not be enough for a lawsuit. Sometimes, a boss simply lacks communication skills. For example, when criticizing your report with a comment like 'This is awful. Fix it!', it’s not necessarily rude, but it certainly isn’t helpful and can make you feel bad about yourself. If you think your boss’s way of speaking needs improvement, you should discuss it with her.

Communicate with your boss. It’s hard to maintain a positive attitude when working under a rude superior, whether their rudeness is directed at you or others. Though it might feel intimidating, addressing the situation can relieve insecurity and improve work performance. Be mindful of your motives when speaking with your boss. Stay polite, tactful, and respectful. Approach the issue cooperatively, remembering that your boss may not even realize the problem. For example, you could say: 'I’ve been facing some challenges at work. Could we have a discussion to work through them together?' Find common ground by saying, 'I know we both want the project to be of the highest quality,' to show that, in the end, you share the same goal. Be straightforward but respectful. Use 'I' statements, like: 'Rather than general comments, I find I perform best with clear and specific feedback. Could you provide me with more detailed suggestions? I believe that would help me adjust my report and deliver the best product I can.' Be honest. If your boss says something dismissive, harassing, or offensive, speak up calmly but without judgment. For instance, say: 'I felt hurt when you shouted at me in front of the team last week. It would mean a lot to me if you could provide feedback privately about areas where I need improvement.' By clearly and respectfully expressing your feelings, you may help your boss learn how to communicate with you more effectively. Avoid passive-aggressive behavior; while studies show it may seem less confrontational, it doesn’t convey your true needs and desires to your boss.

Apologize to others. If your negative attitude has impacted your team, consider offering an apology. Let them know you’ve been going through a tough time and are working hard to improve. Ask for their help in keeping you on track. Whenever they hear you being negative, they can remind you to stop. For instance, you could say: 'Hi everyone. You might have noticed that I’ve been complaining a lot lately about the company and the long hours. I’m sorry for bringing down the mood in the office. I know the company offers us great benefits and support, and I truly appreciate that. From now on, I will do my best to stay more positive!'

Find solutions. Once you’ve identified the cause of a negative attitude, focus on actions that can help improve it. For example, if fatigue is affecting your mood, try getting more sleep at night. Alternatively, you can take a short nap during lunch breaks or downtime—these moments can have a powerful impact. If your job feels unchallenging and dull, ask your manager to assign you new tasks.

Practice positive thinking. Your thoughts about something often determine how you feel about it. To take control of your attitude, pay attention to your thoughts. Focus on positive ones. Actively replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

• For example, if you’re frustrated by someone taking up too much space on the bus, think about how lucky you are to have access to public transportation. Think positively about the happiness of not having to drive through bad weather or snowstorms.
• Remind yourself to think positively during stressful moments, like before a meeting or when heading out for an appointment. Instead of thinking, “I’m not looking forward to this meeting. Trang always gives me a hard time,” replace it with, “I’m looking forward to Trang’s feedback. I believe her input will be very valuable.”
• Positive thinking takes practice. Don’t get discouraged if your mind occasionally turns negative.
• Alongside positive thinking, stoicism encourages you to visualize the worst-case scenario. Often, you’re capable of handling more than you think. Check out our article on becoming a stoic for more insights.

Express gratitude. Consider making a gratitude list. Write down the qualities and people you are grateful for. Focus on the things that make you feel thankful. Express this gratitude verbally to them. You might want to do this before bed, reflecting on the good things of the day.

• Replace a negative attitude with gratitude. If you miss a meeting due to construction on the road, shift your perspective. Instead of feeling frustrated with the bad traffic, focus on gratitude. Look around and think of everything you're thankful for, such as your health—both physical and mental—family, friends, or the beautiful nature surrounding you.
• Recognize the smallness of your existence in the grand world and the miracle of being alive. See it as a gift, not a privilege.

Repeat positive affirmations. Throughout the day, try to frame your thoughts with affirmations that empower you. Create statements that reflect your personal strength, belief, and confidence. For instance, you might say: “Today, I will use my IT knowledge to improve our website. I will be cautious, diligent, and give my best effort.” Repeating these affirmations multiple times a day can train your mind to subconsciously lean towards positive thinking. By sending positive feedback to your subconscious, you will ignite optimistic emotions that guide your actions.

• Focus on affirmations based on what you have control over. Affirmations about other people’s behavior may not be as effective, since you can’t control how anyone else acts—only yourself.
• For example, an affirmation like: “Today, everything will be perfect!” has no value because you can’t control that. A colleague might have a bad day, an important file could malfunction, or you might spill your lunch. However, repeating, “I’m strong enough to handle whatever comes today,” focusing on what you can control, will be more helpful.
• For some people, eliminating all negative thoughts can make things worse. In such cases, it’s better to acknowledge the negativity and move forward. Accept your imperfections and continue seeking the positive.

Visualize your improved attitude. What would you look like? Are you smiling or being friendly? Psychological research on peak experiences suggests that, for many successful people like Nelson Mandela, visualization helps improve their skills and talents. By visualizing your best attitude, you may begin to believe that you actually possess it.

• Try to visualize in as much detail as possible. The more detailed your image, the more likely it will help guide you to achieve your goals.

Approach your work realistically. Have a clear picture of the relationship you should have with your tasks. Accept that some parts of your job may not be as fulfilling as others. Set goals to complete them with a positive attitude. Consider rewarding yourself with a cup of coffee or something else after finishing a long and challenging task.

Set goals for yourself. Reflect on your strengths and weaknesses. Focus on completing tasks in a way that aligns with your personal working style. For larger goals, such as completing a major project, break them down into smaller tasks. This way, achieving each small goal will give you a sense of accomplishment. In the end, seeing your goal come to fruition will positively impact your work attitude.

• For example, if you’re overwhelmed by a large project, try setting smaller tasks like "Research market data on Monday", "Consult small business advisor on Tuesday", "Write outline on Wednesday", "Complete first draft on Thursday", and "Edit on Friday". These are much more manageable and will give you a sense of positive accomplishment when you check them off.

Meet with your manager. Explain that you have identified ways to work better. Ask for new assignments. Clarify that you want to give your best to your job. Discuss the possibility of changing your schedule or working methods. Your company may encourage innovation and change. Ask your manager about opportunities to participate.

• By talking with your manager, you’ll strengthen your relationship and make a positive impression about your commitment to your work. This could lead to positive outcomes in your role.
• Ask to collaborate with someone who inspires you. If someone has a good attitude, you can learn to be more positive by working alongside them.
• Ask your manager if it’s possible to delegate tasks that negatively impact your ability to maintain a positive attitude. If possible, adjust your work to better align with your strengths and career goals.

Reframe your position. Even if your job doesn’t change, reassess how you view yourself. Instead of focusing on titles or labels, concentrate on the things you do well. Reframe your perspective on your daily work. For example, if you’re an administrative assistant spending much of your time on emails and phone calls, think of yourself as a connector of businesspeople and a supporter of essential transactions. Your role is to be a bridge, not just a busy worker.

• Don’t compare yourself to others who seem to enjoy parts of the job that you’re not interested in. Remember, your colleagues may not be as enthusiastic about the tasks you enjoy either.