Buzz
Most people are dissatisfied with their lives and themselves. If you're feeling the desire to change, you're in luck, as this is completely achievable! Major transformations can be challenging, but they are not impossible if you're ready to set goals and achieve them. Changing your actions can lead to a complete shift in how you view yourself.
Steps
Assess Your Personal Needs
Identify the Problem. You're determined to change, but why and how? Clarifying the issue or aspect of yourself that needs change is the only way to tackle this. What outcome will change bring?
- Start with a positive outlook. List what you like about yourself. If that's too difficult, write down what others appreciate about you. Knowing your strengths will help you easily adjust and eliminate bad habits.
- Write down what you want in one sentence. Make sure it's what you want, not someone else’s desire. If you don't genuinely want the change, it won't happen.
- Next, list the reasons you want to change. Seeing all your motivations laid out will help keep you on track.
Self-Affirmation. Self-affirmation involves telling yourself optimistic and empowering statements that can help you establish core values and focus on the personality traits you want to achieve. While unrealistic affirmations (like 'I accept everything about myself') might lead to confusion, practical and positive statements such as 'I am valuable and a hardworking employee' can keep you optimistic and help you solve problems more effectively. To create powerful personal statements, try the following steps:
- Use 'I am' statements
- For example, 'I am a good person,' 'I work hard,' 'I am creative.'
- Use 'I can' statements
- For example, 'I can reach my full potential,' 'I can become the person I want to be,' 'I can achieve my goals.'
- Use 'I will' statements
- For example, 'I will become the person I want to be,' 'I will overcome obstacles,' 'I will prove that I can change my life.'
Visualizing a Transformed Future. Visualization is a mental exercise where you create images in your mind to imagine different scenarios. You can visualize abstractly (in your mind) or more concretely, as a collection of images showing what you are doing. Effective visualization helps you assess what you are doing and fine-tune your goals. Additionally, visualization enhances your ability to take control of situations in life. To visualize your transformed future, follow these steps:
- Close your eyes.
- Imagine your future as you see it. Where are you? What are you doing? What is different? What do you look like? Is there something in your life that has changed and brings you happiness?
- Allow yourself to explore the specifics of your ideal life. How does it feel? Try to picture the sights, sounds, smells, and tastes. Focus on the details to make the image feel more real.
- Use positive visualization to set goals that align with the ideal life you envision.
Anticipating Difficulties. In life, things rarely go according to plan. The path ahead will have obstacles, and many people may try to stand in your way. It's important to prepare yourself mentally to overcome these hurdles if you wish to succeed.
- Being realistic is the best way to tackle challenges. Don’t blame yourself or others for failing to meet your goals. Failure is a natural part of the process.
Learning from Failure. There will be times when you feel as though you've failed. You might not reach your goals or milestones, and the journey to success can be long and challenging. Always remember, failure is not just a setback; it's an opportunity. You can learn valuable lessons from your mistakes, and you’ll realize that being flexible with long-term goals makes life more rewarding.
Persistence. If something can change overnight, it probably isn't worth much. You won't see results immediately after making a plan. It's difficult to notice changes or progress within yourself, but others may recognize it more easily. You change gradually every day, and although it’s hard to track your transformation, it is happening.
- Setting small goals and milestones within a larger goal can help you assess if you're on the right path. Reward yourself when you reach a small goal to maintain your motivation!
Set appropriate goals
Don't forget to set SMART goals. Setting goals is an art, and when done right, you are almost guaranteed to achieve them. SMART is an acronym that helps assess the effectiveness of your goals:
- S - Specific (Clear and Precise)
- M - Measurable (Trackable and Meaningful)
- A - Achievable (Realistic and Action-Oriented)
- R - Relevant (Results-Focused and Significant)
- T - Time-bound (Deadline-Driven and Trackable)
Set specific goals. This means you need to define narrow and detailed goals. Broad, vague goals make it harder to create a plan of action to achieve them. A focused plan will help you reach your goals more easily.
- For instance, "being successful" is too vague. Success is a subjective concept and can be defined differently by each person.
- A clearer and more specific goal could be "earning a Master's degree in Sociology from a national university." This goal is much more precise.
Make sure your goal is measurable. You need to be able to track when your goal is achieved. If you can't clearly state when you will be "done," your goal is not measurable.
- For example, "becoming successful" is not measurable. You won't know when you've officially "succeeded," and your definition of success may change constantly.
- On the other hand, "earning a Master's degree in Sociology from a national university" is measurable. You know you'll reach that goal when you graduate or when you receive your diploma by email.
Ensure your goal is achievable. The achievability of a goal can vary from person to person. Whether or not it's possible depends on numerous factors, some of which you can't control. To determine if your goal is achievable, ask yourself if you have the knowledge, skills, and capacity to accomplish it. Evaluate whether the goal is feasible.
- For example, an unachievable goal might be becoming the smartest, richest, or most powerful person in the world.
- A more achievable goal could be earning a college degree. For some people, it might be graduating from high school.
Assess the relevance of your goals. This is crucial for short-term goals leading to long-term ones. Your goals should be relevant and align with the broader picture. You are less likely to succeed if your goals are not connected to your life.
- For example, setting the goal of 'getting a master's degree in sociology from a national university' is only relevant to your life if you want to work in the social field (or a related industry). If your goal is to become a pilot, then a sociology degree will not serve your long-term objective.
Shannon O'Brien, MA, EdM
Life & Career Coach
Life & Career Coach
A common mistake when setting goals is choosing the wrong path. People often select a life or career goal that is not truly their own. Setting goals is good, but if you're doing it to impress others or because someone else expects it, you are less likely to find success or happiness. Set goals for yourself and those who truly matter to you.
Set a timeline for your goals. Effective goals require time management; otherwise, you will be working endlessly without reaching your destination.
- For instance, 'earning a master's degree in sociology from a national university within the next five years' sets a time limit. Evaluating the time needed for achieving goals is important, but you should set a time frame to push yourself forward instead of treating it as a vague goal that might happen 'someday.'
Turn your goals into action
Start right now. Saying you'll do it 'tomorrow' is no different from never doing it at all. Tomorrow will never come. To make a change, you must avoid procrastination, as you won't accomplish anything if you keep postponing.
Break big goals into smaller ones. Once you've identified the main goal, you can divide it into 'milestone' goals. (Some people call them 'macro' and 'micro' goals). This allows you to tackle the larger goal step by step.
- If you feel hesitant about starting because the end goal seems out of reach, try to forget about the bigger picture and focus on the first milestone goal.
- For example, if you want to lose 20 kg in 2 years, don't worry about the 20. Start with the first goal, such as losing 2 kg.
- Try working with a reverse schedule. By setting a time limit for the final goal (time management), you need to hit your milestones or short-term goals on time. Otherwise, you'll end up adjusting your schedule repeatedly to match everything into your timeline (or you might need to recalculate when you can achieve your final goal).
- A reverse schedule gives you a clear starting point, and you can begin with the first step, often the hardest one.
Reward yourself. Recognizing your progress with a positive attitude and rewarding yourself will make you more excited about your journey. Raise your hands in celebration, watch an extra 30 minutes of TV, or treat yourself to a nice dinner.
- Avoid rewarding yourself with things that counter your efforts. If your goal is weight loss, reward yourself with a new outfit or a small trip, but not with food.
Use your emotions. As you work towards your goal, you'll experience a range of emotions, which is a normal part of life. If you recognize how your emotions relate to achieving your goal or personal growth, try to leverage them:
- When you achieve a milestone or 'micro' goal, allow yourself to celebrate, or use it as motivation to push further.
- If you face setbacks along the way, use the frustration to refocus on your goal.
- If you're close to your goal but encounter a last-minute change, channel your anger to reignite your energy and overcome any obstacles.
Make yourself uncomfortable. Most people are comfortable doing everyday tasks in life. To create significant change, you must 'push' yourself. Don't worry; this feeling will help you grow and experience new things.
- This is another benefit of 'micro' goals. If you're aiming to go from where you are to your end goal, it may feel like a huge change. But if you focus only on the first milestone, it becomes a less daunting prospect.
- For example, you work in administration, but you're not happy. You set a goal: 'Become an emergency room nurse within the next 3 years.' Jumping straight to that environment may feel uncomfortable. However, taking the first step, like enrolling in nursing school, will only push you slightly beyond your comfort zone.
- Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable as you take each new step towards your goal and grow from that feeling. You'll be surprised at yourself and experience a sense of positivity as you accumulate new experiences and get closer to your target.
Review your progress
Maintain motivation. Throughout the process of self-transformation, you will encounter obstacles and find it hard to stay on track. Recognize these moments and address them appropriately.
- Hold yourself accountable. Share your progress with family, friends, or online communities.
- Don't overexert yourself. You might want to run 16 km on the first day, but you'll end up exhausted and unable to continue. Adjust your goals accordingly.
- Monitor your inner dialogue. If it's negative, stop! Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. End the thoughts halfway.
- Find like-minded individuals. A strong support group can make your efforts exponentially easier.
Track your feelings. Monitoring your behavior and identifying patterns will help you find the most effective way to approach your goals.
- If you catch yourself falling back into old habits, note down the time, context, and reasons. Analyze the causes. Perhaps you're hungry or fatigued after a long workday.
- Record your journey! If you have a great day, write it down! Looking back at your progress will provide additional motivation to keep moving forward.
Live a healthy lifestyle. Everything becomes easier when you're in good health. Living healthily not only provides numerous benefits for your well-being, but it also helps maintain a positive attitude.
- Getting proper sleep, eating well, and staying active is the best way to start your day on a high note. Pursuing difficult, sometimes discouraging goals can be tough enough, so give yourself the best chance by taking care of your mind and body first.
- If most of the time you're not feeling great, address bigger issues first. Mental tricks, positive thinking, and goal-setting should come after prioritizing your health and well-being.
Adjust your goals. As you work towards your objectives, you may want to modify your aspirations. Keep track of your journey and make necessary adjustments to your goals.
- If you're making excellent progress, great! Challenge yourself by setting more ambitious goals.
- Don't feel guilty if you fail to meet a goal. Reevaluate and set realistic, achievable goals. You certainly don't want to become discouraged and give up.
Keep going. When you reach your goals, don’t stop. You need time to form new habits, so give yourself space to adjust to a new lifestyle. This will be a lifelong change. At first, you may need to consciously make an effort to stick to a low-carb diet, start conversations, save money, but soon enough, these behaviors will be automatic in your mind.
Advice
- What others think doesn’t matter. You’re doing this for yourself, not for anyone else.
- First, change starts with awareness. If you don’t understand what you’re doing, you can’t change your behavior.
- You can reinvent yourself as many times as you want. Nothing is permanent or irreversible.
- Smile. A smile will help you start your day with energy.
- Don’t hesitate or give up. Keep pushing forward.
- Changing for others never leads to good results, especially if that person is no longer part of your life. If you decide to change, do it for yourself.
- Travel to clear your mind. It may help you discover new things or think in ways that can change your mindset and personality.
- Remember, you should be anything that makes you happy. If you change for someone else, it won't last long.
- Changing your appearance is one way to encourage internal change (wearing professional clothes may inspire you to act more professionally), but don't mistake it for actual change.
- Persevere. Actions need to be repeated at least 21 times to become a habit. The first day will be tough, but it will get easier over time.
- Be yourself, and don’t think someone is doing better than you because everyone makes mistakes.
