Buzz
You often see the person you like online but feel hesitant to message them. You might worry about not being interesting or running out of things to say. Don’t stress—flirting with someone you admire online can be fun and pressure-free! By mastering a few strategies, you can make them smile, enjoy the conversation, and even look forward to meeting you in person.
Steps
Capture Their Interest from the Start
Avoid messaging them the moment they come online. While your heart might race when you see them active, it doesn’t mean you should rush into a conversation. Stay calm and act as though you’re not just waiting for them to appear.
- Unless the person you like rarely comes online, wait a bit—at least 10 to 15 minutes. This gives the impression that while you’re interested in chatting, you’re also busy with other online activities. It helps you appear less clingy or dependent.
- Don’t wait too long, or they might think you’re not interested.
Start the conversation in a fun and natural way. When greeting them, it’s crucial to begin the conversation correctly so they’ll want to spend more time chatting with you. The key is to stay calm—but not too distant.
- Starting with "How are you?" or "How have you been?" is perfectly fine. Don’t overthink trying to impress them right away.
- You can kick things off with an interesting story about something that happened to you, something you said, or exciting news you just heard. Keep it brief and avoid overdoing it.
Don’t always be the one to say "hello" first. It’s important to maintain balance in the relationship. You shouldn’t always be the one initiating the conversation, as it might indicate they’re not as eager to talk to you.
- It’s possible the person you like is just shy and prefers you to take the lead. However, if that’s the case, it might signal that they’ll expect you to do all the work if the relationship progresses further, which could become frustrating.
Have Fun
Tease them playfully. Once you’ve gotten to know each other a bit, teasing can be a great way to flirt. It shows you enjoy their humor and don’t take life too seriously. Here are some effective ways to tease them:
- If they’re really into a hobby, band, or activity, you can playfully tease them about it. For example, if they love playing the guitar, you could say, "How much time did you spend with your girlfriend today?"
- If you support rival sports teams, you can joke about their team losing without making them too upset.
- Don’t go overboard. There’s a fine line between teasing and offending someone, and it’s harder to gauge online.
- Show that you can take teasing too. They’ll be impressed if you’re confident enough to let them poke fun at your quirks.
Be witty. The person you like will be impressed by your quick thinking and sense of humor. It’s not easy to showcase your clever humor online, but if you can pull it off, they’ll be delighted. Here are some ways to impress them with your wit:
- Be quick. If they say something funny, respond as fast as you can to show you can keep up.
- Be smart. Make jokes about topics they’re familiar with to show you’re knowledgeable and aware of the world.
- Use sarcasm. A little sarcasm can go a long way. If you struggled in biology class, you could jokingly confess how much you loved dissecting frogs. They’ll be drawn to you if you deliver it right.
Be Interesting
Bring up engaging topics. To keep them interested, you’ll need to find subjects worth discussing. Make sure the topics aren’t just interesting to you. Here are some ideas:
- If there’s exciting news happening, talk about it, especially if it’s just occurred. You could say, "Have you heard about...?" Avoid controversial topics, as you don’t want to start a debate before truly understanding their views.
- If something unexpected happened to you that day, share it. Whether you ran into a celebrity, saw something unusual on the street, or got big news, these events make great conversation starters.
- Nothing bores them faster than recounting every single detail of your day. Unless you’re a secret agent or superhero, most of your daily activities are probably mundane, and you don’t want to come off as self-absorbed by treating your breakfast like the most fascinating topic in the world.
Find common ground. If you want the relationship to go beyond flirting, remember that shared interests are just as important as chemistry for a lasting connection. Your bond will be stronger if you both share common passions. Here are some common areas:
- Music can be a great connector, so talk about music. If they have a 'Favorite Song' status, check out what they’re listening to and say, "Oh, I love that band!" If the band is performing, you could suggest going together.
- Shared love for outdoor activities. If you both enjoy hiking, biking, or camping, that’s a great connection. Outdoor activities aren’t for everyone, and they’ll appreciate your shared interest—maybe even invite you on a hike.
- Your passion for literature. If you both love great books, this gives you plenty to discuss. You could impress them by recommending a book or reading one they suggested. If the conversation goes well, you could say, "Hey, I loved the book you recommended. Want to meet for coffee and talk about it?"
- Your love for movies. If you both enjoy films, you’ll have endless topics. Casually mention a new movie you’d like to see and wait for them to suggest watching it together.
Show that you have a life outside the internet. Let them know you have a life beyond the screen. Mention your friends, family, and hobbies to show that your online presence is just a small part of your amazing personality. Here’s how to demonstrate that your world extends beyond the computer:
- Talk about your hobbies. If you enjoy cycling, share that. Mention the time you dedicate to your interests.
- Introduce your close friends and mention plans like dinners, concerts, or outings. This makes you seem interesting, and they might even want to join.
- If you’re passionate about school or a specific subject, don’t hesitate to bring it up. Show genuine interest in something—whether it’s poetry or physics. Remember, interesting people have passions, while boring people find everything dull.
Show Genuine Interest
Compliment them subtly. Find a way to express what you genuinely appreciate about them. This shows you notice their unique qualities and that you’re thoughtful. Here’s how to do it:
- Be natural. You could say, "You’re so smart—I had no idea about that," or "That’s fascinating; I never thought of it that way!" This shows you value their ideas without flattering them excessively.
- Highlight what makes them special. If they enjoy long-distance running, you could say, "It’s impressive how you can run like that."
- Praise their achievements. Simply say, "I can’t believe you published a poem. That must have taken so much effort!"
Take their advice. Show that you’re genuinely listening to what they say. This proves you value their opinions and think about them even when you’re offline. Here’s how:
- If they recommend an album, listen to it. This also gives you something to talk about.
- If they suggest buying a specific phone, shoes, or anything else, and you think their advice fits, follow it. Later, thank them for the recommendation.
- However, don’t rush to act on everything they say. If they suggest a movie, don’t watch it immediately and report back the next day. Wait a week or two and say, "Hey, I watched the movie you recommended—it was great."
Show interest in their life. Demonstrate that you’re not just an interesting person but also care about who they are. Strive to balance talking about yourself, shared interests, and them. Here’s how:
- Ask how their week has been. This encourages them to share details about their current life.
- If they mention going to a concert, watching a game, or dining out, ask about those experiences.
- Seek their opinion on a specific topic. This shows you value their thoughts.
- Avoid being nosy. It’s fine to ask about hobbies, friends, or even family, but don’t pry into private matters or make it feel like an interrogation.
Invite them out. If things are going well and the timing feels right, don’t hesitate to ask them out to take the relationship beyond the online world. If you’ve gotten to know them, you can do this casually without making it too serious. Here’s how:
- Ask what they’re doing over the weekend. If they’re free, suggest a casual outing. Say, "That’s great, I’m free too—want to grab lunch together?"
- If their favorite band or comedian is coming to town, ask if they’d like to see the show with you.
- If you’re hosting a party or hanging out with a group of friends, invite them. This is a low-pressure way to spend time together before officially dating.
Be Confident
Don’t appear overly eager to chat with them. To exude confidence, show that while you enjoy talking to them, your life doesn’t revolve around them. Here’s how to do it:
- Don’t message them every time you’re online. Chat with them on your second or third login. This shows you’re not just online to talk to them.
- Avoid responding too quickly to everything they say. Replying instantly might make you seem overly eager. If you don’t reply immediately, they’ll think you’re talking to someone else or doing something else.
Don’t underestimate the power of an online alias. Create an anonymous account to see what they’re up to when they think you’re offline. This can help you understand their true feelings about you and maintain a calm demeanor during interactions.
- If they’re less active when they don’t know you’re online, it suggests they’re online for the same reason as you—to keep flirting!
- If they’re always online, it means they’ll chat with anyone at any time, which might indicate they lack a meaningful offline life.
- Log in with your alias after saying goodbye. Do they log off immediately? This shows they’re only online to talk to you.
Avoid being overly enthusiastic in conversations. It’s great to show you find them attractive, interesting, and fun, but going overboard can make you seem desperate. Here’s how to avoid that:
- Limit the use of "LOL" or "hahaha"—it can come off as trying too hard to be funny.
- Avoid excessive emojis. This can be annoying and make you seem immature.
- If they don’t reply immediately, don’t flood them with question marks or say, "Where did you go???" This makes it seem like your world revolves around their response.
Say Goodbye at the Right Time
Log off while things are still interesting. It’s crucial to leave at the right moment to leave them wanting more. Don’t end too early, but say goodbye while the conversation is still engaging. Here’s how:
- Wait until the conversation naturally winds down, then say you have to go. This way, you can add a final thought or two before signing off. It leaves them eager to talk more and avoids awkward silences after a long chat when neither of you has anything left to say.
Provide a compelling reason to log off. To maintain a calm demeanor, you don’t need to be overly specific about why you’re leaving. Keep it vague to make them think you’re interesting and mysterious. Here’s how:
- Casually say, "I have to head out now," which will make them wonder where you’re going and who you’re meeting. Keep it ambiguous to suggest you have an active social life.
- Even if you don’t have a reason to leave, don’t admit it. Avoid saying things like, "Well, I guess I should stop messaging so much," or "I need to go water my plants." This makes your life seem dull.
Show that you enjoyed chatting with them. You don’t need to be overly explicit, but let them know you had a great time and look forward to talking again. Here’s what you can say:
- "It was fun talking to you" or "Thanks for the advice about..." Let them know the conversation mattered without overdoing it.
- "I’ll talk to you later." This shows you’re interested in chatting again but won’t spend hours waiting for them to come back online.
- Avoid scaring them. Don’t say things like, "That was the best conversation I’ve ever had" or "What time will you be back online so we can chat more???"
Tips
- Be relaxed in how you chat with them. Don’t reply instantly; it makes you seem too eager.
- If they don’t respond immediately, don’t push them. They might be away from their computer.
- Don’t talk to them every day. You’ll run out of things to say, and it’ll seem like you don’t have your own life.
- Most importantly, be yourself. Don’t try too hard or pretend to be someone you’re not. After all, would you want them to love someone who isn’t the real you?
- Avoid bombarding them with questions. It can come off as obsessive.
- Don’t act petty, as it creates a negative impression.
- Compliment them on things they care about, but don’t act overly eager.
Warnings
- If you’re meeting someone in person whom you only know online, ensure the meeting takes place in a public area like a park or café. This way, you can confirm they’re not a threat. Avoid meeting at their apartment or any private location where you can’t seek immediate help if needed.
- If you know them outside the online world, these tips are still useful. If it’s someone you met online and have grown to like, make sure they introduce themselves properly before sharing personal details like your phone number or address.
- You might have fallen for them online, but meeting them in person could be disappointing. Their online persona might not match reality—this happens more often than you think.
What You’ll Need
- An Instagram account
- A desktop or smartphone
- The Instagram account of the person you like
- Internet access
