How to Cheat Without Getting Caught

Infidelity in a relationship is one of the most damaging acts that can break the trust between partners. If you’ve decided to betray your significant other, whether you believe it will go unnoticed or not, the first thing you should do is reflect on whether you still want to preserve the love you once had. Perhaps you’ve fallen out of love with them, or you’re no longer invested in a monogamous relationship at this point. Regardless, the most considerate action you could take now is to end the relationship before resorting to deceit. However, if you’ve firmly made up your mind to cheat, here are the steps you can take to hide your actions and divert suspicion if your partner begins to question you.

Think carefully about deceiving your partner. People often have various reasons for cheating: anger towards their spouse, feeling trapped in a relationship they're not ready for, a relationship that has grown stale, or simply to relieve frustrations unrelated to their primary relationship. However, cheating can lead to serious consequences.

• You might think you can hide everything, but research shows that cheating often leads to feelings of guilt and shame for the person involved.
• While some couples manage to work through infidelity when it comes to light, many others break up because trust has been lost.
• Most importantly, consider the pain your partner will experience when they find out about your betrayal. If you’re not prepared to take responsibility for causing that pain, stop deceiving them.
• The aftermath of infidelity can haunt your partner in future relationships, negatively impacting their ability to find happiness even after leaving you.
• Once your actions are exposed, you may lose the respect of your friends and family, which can be a devastating consequence. Strive to live up to the expectations that those around you have for you.
• If you’re truly unhappy in your current relationship, you should have an honest conversation with your partner to either work on the relationship or end things so you can pursue a new relationship.
• However, if you still intend to cheat, consider the points listed below.

Create a new email address. One of the easiest and most foolish ways to get caught cheating is by leaving evidence in easily accessible places.

• Create a new email address specifically for communicating with the third party. Keep it a secret, and only use it for the affair.
• If you use this address for other things like receiving updates or spam, it will seem too ordinary. You should be cautious when using this account.
• Always remember to log out after each session using this email.
• Only use this account to email the third party, never your main account.
• Keep your main email account logged in on your device as usual, so that the other person won't find anything suspicious if they try to snoop around.

Clear your web browsing history—partially. Every time you do something related to the third party online, spend a few minutes clearing your browser history for those specific actions. Remember, this applies to more than just your fake email address; clear the history of any site linked to the affair, such as restaurant reviews, maps for secret meetups, hotel bookings, etc.

• Don't delete all of your browsing history, as that would look suspicious—no one keeps a completely empty history.
• Instead, go through your history and manually remove any suspicious pages once you're done with them.

Use the browser's 'private' or 'incognito' mode. The best way to ensure you don't accidentally leave traces is by using the 'private' or 'incognito' mode in your browser when doing anything you want to keep hidden.

• If you use a popular browser, it's likely they already have a built-in private mode. Safari, Chrome, Firefox, Opera, and Explorer all allow you to browse without leaving traces on your computer.
• Websites will still have access to your IP address when you visit them, so you may still see targeted ads based on your 'private' browsing sessions.
• To avoid being tracked by suspicious ads, make sure to close all private windows when you're done. This will erase all cookies and remove any lingering ads.

Lock your mobile phone. If your phone is already locked and your partner doesn't know the passcode, you're safe. However, if your phone is unlocked or they know the code, you should strengthen the security of your device.

• Come up with a plausible explanation for suddenly locking your phone. You could say someone at work accessed it and found private photos of the two of you, or that they sent a group message to your contacts.
• If they already know your code, it will look suspicious if you suddenly demand privacy. Don’t change the passcode, but avoid using the phone for anything suspicious.
• If you need to contact the third party via phone, use the browser's private mode to log into your secret email account. Always log out and close the private browsing window afterward to erase cookies when you're finished.

Use your phone minimally. If your partner sees an increase in calls or texts from the third party's number, they will become suspicious. Keep your calls short and only text when necessary. Most of your communication should be done through your secret email account.

Buy a prepaid mobile phone. A prepaid mobile phone allows you to communicate with your lover freely without any charges showing up on your monthly bill. However, this can be risky if the other person catches you with a strange phone in hand.

• If you do use a prepaid mobile phone, be extra careful not to get caught.
• Have a good excuse ready in case you're caught. You could claim it's a phone your colleague left at work, and you haven’t had a chance to return it to them yet.

Don't use your credit card for shady expenses. Suspicious charges like hotel rooms or trips out of town will show up on your monthly statement. Large, odd expenses like a fancy dinner for two at an upscale restaurant can also raise suspicion. Whenever you make purchases that you want to keep hidden, use cash instead of a credit card to avoid leaving paper trails of evidence.

Buy separate contraception. There should be no reason for fluctuations in the number of condoms or other contraceptive items in a monogamous marriage. A shortage or surplus of condoms is a major red flag. The contraceptives you use for your affair must be kept separate from those you use with your spouse.

• Buy your own condoms when you're with your lover.
• Purchase small packs or individual condoms instead of whole boxes to avoid storing them in your car.
• Dispose of any unused condoms before heading home rather than keeping them hidden somewhere.

Laugh when they suspect you instead of getting angry. When you get angry, you’re reacting negatively to your partner’s accusations instead of appearing confused. Anger quickly turns into an argument, and arguments never end well, leaving lasting resentment. To avoid creating negative memories from such arguments, the best approach is not to escalate the tension.

• Don’t laugh maliciously or mock your partner for suspecting you.
• Simply act surprised or puzzled when they mention it, as if you didn't realize your behavior would make them suspicious.

Engage in a conversation with them about their suspicions. After your nonchalant reaction, you shouldn't avoid talking to that person, as doing so will give the impression that you don't value their feelings. This frustration can persist and become exhausting, so it's important to address the issue right away.

• Express regret that they feel this way, and assure them that you had no idea you made them feel uneasy.
• Give them the space to voice their concerns and be a good listener – don't interrupt or become defensive.
• Pay attention to the specific doubts they have, as this will help you understand where you went wrong.

Promise that you will make an effort to rebuild trust. A good partner will feel terrible for causing their loved one to worry, so reassure them that, even if there's nothing to be concerned about, you'll make an effort to pay more attention to them.

Make adjustments to any questionable behaviors. If you allow your partner to speak freely, they might present a list of things that worry them about your actions. If you change something without explaining, it will only increase their suspicions. However, if you're open about the fact that you're committed to altering your behavior, they will view these changes as efforts to strengthen the relationship.

• Overzealously changing your behavior might make it seem like you're acting or hiding something. Don't change too drastically.
• Only make enough change to show that you're actively working to maintain trust in the relationship.

End the affair or take a break. If the other person cannot shake their doubts, it may be time to end the affair, or at least pause it until the situation improves. Even after you've discussed their fears and promised to make them feel more secure, they might still harbor some doubts. Don't take unnecessary risks.

• The best way to avoid getting caught is to never cheat in the first place. Remember, if you can't be honest, you might be better suited for a commitment-free lifestyle or more open relationships.

• Infidelity will tear your relationship apart. If you want to stay with your partner, don’t deceive them.
• Cheating will severely disrupt the emotional stability of your partner if they catch you. You might not actually “hate” them. If you can’t consider their feelings, rather than lying, you should end the marriage if you're no longer happy.
• The aftermath of your affair could haunt them in their future relationships. Don’t destroy their ability to trust. Moving on from a breakup is easier than recovering from betrayal.
• Even if you stay together after an affair, you’ll have a lot of work ahead to rebuild trust. This relationship may never be the same again.