Buzz
So, you find yourself attracted to two girls at the same time. Whether you're dating one of them or not, if both have feelings for you, they’ll be waiting for you to decide who you want to be with. To make this choice, analyze what you’re looking for in a relationship, how your connection with each girl feels, and your genuine emotions toward them. Whatever the outcome, take your decision seriously and choose one before you risk losing both.
Steps
Evaluate Your Options
Reflect on what you’re seeking. Ask yourself if you want a serious relationship or something casual. Are you looking for physical satisfaction, a loyal girlfriend, or a long-term partner? Consider where you are in life and your goals beyond these two girls. Your decision might be clouded by romantic feelings, so take a step back to truly understand what you need.
- Perhaps you need to focus on your career right now. Or maybe you desire a stable relationship or casual fun that only one of them can provide. Think about what you truly need.
Analyze your relationship with each girl. Think about what they have in common and how they differ. Consider what each one brings to the table and how they make you feel. To make a choice, you need a deep understanding of your options.
- Recall which girl you feel more comfortable talking to. Reflect on who inspires you to explore new things and who excites you the most. You might naturally gravitate toward one over the other.
- Consider who you can trust more. One might be fun, but you might not feel a strong emotional connection with her. Decide whether you value stability or excitement more.
- Determine who you interact with better. Strong communication is vital in any relationship, and you’ll want to choose someone you can be completely honest with.
Notice how each girl makes you feel about yourself. One might make you feel strong, capable, and good, while the other might belittle you and make you feel disconnected from yourself. Perhaps one brings you joy and ease, while the other only adds stress. Reflect on how your personality shifts when you spend time with each girl and think about which version of yourself you want to grow into.
Be honest with yourself. If you can’t give a definite answer about either girl, you might not be ready for a serious commitment. While you don’t have to force a serious relationship, understanding why you’re struggling to choose is crucial.
Explore alternative options. Neither of them might be looking for a long-term relationship, or one might not even be interested in you! This doesn’t mean you should play games with both; it simply means the situation might be simpler and less serious than you think. Talk to each girl to better understand what they’re looking for.
- Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. There are many ways to maintain a relationship. The key is ensuring everyone is on the same page and no one gets hurt.
Make a Decision
Create a list. Set up a column for each girl and jot down the positive traits you associate with them. If both share certain qualities, cross those out. Focus on the unique attributes of each and compare which ones resonate with you the most. The girl with the most unique and favorable qualities might be the one to choose. Also, consider listing their negative traits; the fewer flaws, the better.
- Positive traits might include: fun to be around; great storyteller; emotionally supportive; a good listener; trustworthy; intelligent; attractive; gets along with your friends; lives nearby; loves traveling; always makes you smile.
- Negative traits might include: short-tempered; differing values; inconsistent; not your "type"; lives far away; emotionally distant; always stresses you out.
Listen to your heart. Remember, the list is just a tool. Don’t decide solely based on numbers; use them to gain deeper insight into your feelings. One girl might seem perfect on paper, but that doesn’t mean you’re fully into her. If the numbers don’t add up, trust your gut. After listing their pros and cons, take time to reflect on your true feelings for each girl. Let love guide your decision.
Take your time to decide, but don’t wait too long. It’s important to be confident in your choice. However, keeping both girls in limbo for too long risks losing them both. Aim to make a decision as soon as possible to clarify things. The situation will simplify once you’ve chosen one (or decided not to pursue either) and established a friendship with the one you didn’t pick.
- The right timing depends on the situation. If you see both girls daily, your decision is urgent. Are you prepared to run into both at the same time?
- Remember, they’re human with real feelings. It’s unfair to string them along for too long just because you’re indecisive, unless they’re also okay with the situation. Think about how you’d want to be treated in their shoes.
Choose one girl. If both are equally amazing, there’s no "right" choice, but you still need to decide if you want to keep one in your life. Honesty is the hardest path, but it’s the most rewarding. Make your choice, communicate it to both, and simplify your life. Ask yourself which girl you’d regret letting go of the most.
- Consider seeking advice from friends and family. If you can’t decide alone, outside perspectives from those who’ve seen you with both girls might help.
Talk to the Girls
Be direct. This means being honest and clear with both the girl you choose and the one you reject. If you’re vague, things will get messy, and you might end up choosing neither. Don’t leave things in limbo. If you want to fully commit to one girl, you need to close the other doors.
- Consider writing down your thoughts or practicing what you’ll say with a friend. If you’re unsure how to phrase things, preparation will be your best ally.
Let the girl you reject step back. It’s crucial to talk to her first if you want to make things final. You might have made the decision in theory, but it’s not real until you act on it. This is especially important if the girl you’ve chosen knows about her. Your declaration of love (or promise or commitment) will carry more weight if you can prove to her that you’ve clearly ended things with the other girl.
- You might want to confess your feelings to the girl you’ve chosen first, as there’s a chance she might reject you, leaving you with the second option. However, consider whether you’d truly be happy with this "second choice." It’s better to fully commit to someone, even if it’s neither of these two girls.
- Letting the other girl step back forces you to confront your feelings for both. In this moment, you might realize the girl you "rejected" is actually the one for you. Or you might slip up and spend the night with her, solidifying your resolve to end things completely. Either way, it helps you stay true to your commitment to the other girl.
Talk to the girl you’ve chosen. After resolving any lingering feelings, you can focus entirely on your relationship with her. Keep it simple, sincere, and clear. Tell her exactly what you want from her and that she’s the only one for you if you’re truly committed to her and only her during your time together.
- Proceed carefully. If you struggled to choose between two girls, give yourself time to adjust. Don’t rush into a deep, long-term relationship; let things develop naturally.
Stand by your decision. Stay firm in your choice and don’t waste time doubting yourself. If you break your promise, you’ll lose trust with both girls, and your reputation will spread! Don’t switch your choice between the two (because both will leave you, and you’ll be back to square one), and don’t change your mind unless you’re absolutely certain it’s the right decision. Remember the saying: actions speak louder than words.
Advice
- Carefully consider your choices to ensure you don't rush into a decision.
- Choose the girl who makes you feel most at ease.
- Avoid selecting both, as it could lead to complications.
- If the above steps don't resonate with you, pick the girl with whom you share the most common interests.
- Before sleeping, reflect on both girls and try to recall their smiles. Choose the one who comes to mind first as you drift off. If unsure, try again.
- Don't stress too much; they might sense your anxiety or tension.
- Select the girl you feel most comfortable with, as you wouldn't want to be tied to someone you can't be yourself around.
- Ask your friends if their opinions align with yours.
- Choose the girl whose personality mirrors yours.
- Imagine yourself 20 years from now. Who do you easily picture by your side?
Warning
- Don't let the girls know you're observing them for unique qualities! They might act differently if they realize you're watching. You need to uncover their true nature.
- Don't assume things will resolve themselves if you wait. This approach might cost you both.
- Balancing intense feelings for one person while being involved with another is challenging and could ruin your current relationship.
- Don't deceive them! You risk hurting both and damaging your reputation by playing both sides.
- It's hard to focus on both simultaneously. If you play games with both, you'll lose them. Don't lose both senselessly when one is enough.
- If you say, 'I truly can't live without you,' mean it. Otherwise, they might laugh at you.
