Buzz
Deceiving your parents and hiding the truth to avoid facing consequences is never a mature or responsible choice. However, when it comes to poor grades, disappointing report cards, or struggling academically, some students feel that keeping this information from their parents is the easiest option. It could be due to shame over knowing they could have done better, or because they were unwell, or even because their parents tend to overreact to a single negative grade. While it may seem tempting, hiding a bad grade or report card from your parents should not be your first choice. It’s important to realize that dishonesty often leads to worse outcomes, and the consequences of being caught can be far more severe than simply telling the truth up front.
Steps
Concealing a Bad Report Card
Leave the report card at school. A straightforward method to keep a poor grade or report card from your parents is by leaving it behind at school. If you have a locker, you can store it there, or keep it hidden in your desk. If you work part-time, you might consider leaving the report card at your workplace.
- If you’re trying to hide a specific test score or project grade, simply avoid bringing home the graded paper.
- If there’s an upcoming test or project you’re anxious about, it might be best to avoid mentioning it to your parents beforehand. If they know about it, they'll expect you to update them with your results once you receive the grade.
Hide the report card somewhere in your room or house. If you end up bringing home your disappointing report card or a bad grade, make sure not to leave it out in plain sight where your parents can find it. Find a secret spot to stash it away, like in a closet, a book, a drawer, or any other hidden place in your room or house.
Destroy the report card. If hiding your bad report card at school or at home doesn’t feel like enough, you might consider taking it a step further by destroying the physical proof. You can eliminate the evidence by:
- Cutting it into pieces
- Shredding it
- Burying it underground
- Soaking it in water to disintegrate it
- Throwing it out in the recycling or trash just before it gets picked up
Intercept the mail. If your school sends report cards and grades via mail instead of handing them directly to students, you'll need to be extra vigilant about the mail to prevent your parents from seeing the report card.
- Check the mail every day so you can grab the report card before anyone else does. Make sure to take all the mail in every day.
- To reduce suspicion, start checking the mail a couple of weeks before the report card arrives and continue checking daily until a couple of weeks after it should have arrived.
Taking Drastic Steps
Delete email notifications. Some schools take additional steps to keep parents up to date with their children’s academic progress. If your school does this, you may have to take extreme measures to keep your bad grades from being discovered. It’s important to note that such actions are highly dishonest and a serious breach of trust.
- If your school sends grade notifications to parents via email, you will need access to their email account. Once logged in, you can intercept and delete the emails before they have a chance to view them.
Sign the report card for your parents. Some schools require a parent’s signature on the report card to ensure that the parents are aware of their child’s academic performance. If your school has this requirement, simply hiding the report card won’t be enough to prevent them from finding out.
- Forging a parent’s signature is considered fraud and is usually illegal. You could also attempt to creatively sign your own name, hoping that your teachers won’t notice.
Edit and print your grades from online portals. Thanks to modern technology, many schools now provide parents with online access to their children’s grades. While you can’t stop your parents from logging in and checking your grades, you might try altering them:
- Log into the portal and copy your grades into a word processor.
- Change the grades manually and print the modified report to show your parents.
Intercept phone calls from the school. Some schools may call to inform parents about the release of report cards. You can try offering to answer the phone in the days leading up to the report card release, then delete the call once it’s made.
- Keep in mind that you won’t always be available to answer the phone. If you don’t know when the call will come, blocking the school’s number could be a better option.
Being Honest with Your Parents
Make the decision to be truthful. It’s often said that honesty is the best policy, and while admitting to your mistakes may be difficult and come with consequences, being honest with your parents will help you feel better in the long run.
- Lying to those you care about can leave you feeling guilty and isolated, damaging the trust between you and your parents.
- If you feel guilty about hiding your grade, it might be time to tell your parents the truth.
- If you’re worried about a bad grade that you haven’t yet hidden, you might be overestimating your parents’ reaction. They may not be as angry as you fear! Coming clean might be scary, but it’s far better than lying and living with the guilt.
- Challenge your negative thoughts by thinking more positively, like “I’ve learned from this mistake and will do better next time,” instead of catastrophizing thoughts like “I’m a failure” or “I’ll never pass this class.”
- Approaching the conversation with a calmer mindset will make it easier to speak with your parents.
Plan your conversation. Once you've made the decision to come clean about your report card, it helps to think ahead about what you want to say. Before talking to your parents, take time to consider:
- The questions your parents might ask, so you can be prepared with thoughtful answers.
- Why you did what you did, or why you got the grade you did, so you can clearly explain your actions.
- How you feel about the situation and how you anticipate your parents might react.
- Remember, your parents care more about your self-worth than any single bad grade, and they want you to feel good about yourself.
Choose the right moment to talk. You can approach this in two ways: you can either set up a meeting with your parents to discuss everything, or you can bring it up casually.
- If you choose a scheduled family meeting, try to set it up soon so that everything is still fresh in your mind.
- If you prefer to approach your parents informally, pick a time when they are relaxed and not preoccupied. Otherwise, they may not give you their full attention, and their reaction might not be as calm as you'd hope.
Talk openly and honestly with your parents. Start by telling them you have something important to discuss and ask them to remain calm. Explain that this conversation is difficult for you and that you're concerned about letting them down. This will show your parents that you're taking responsibility and acting maturely.
- Tell them you received your report card and were disappointed with the grade. If you tried to hide the report card initially, explain that you knew about it for a while but didn't bring it up sooner, and acknowledge that this was wrong.
- Let them ask any questions, and answer them truthfully.
Prepare for possible consequences. Even if you come clean about a bad grade right away, there may still be consequences depending on your parents’ expectations. It might be tough, but remember that telling the truth is the right choice, and your parents are just trying to do what they think is best for you.
- If you initially hid the truth from your parents, be prepared for harsher consequences. While your parents may not be focused on the grade itself, they will likely be upset about the lie. But remember, the punishment is for the dishonesty, not for telling the truth.
- If you’ve hidden the grade and haven't confessed yet, be ready for your parents to find out, which could lead to even more severe consequences. They may hear it from someone else, such as a teacher or a friend, and they'll be even more upset that you lied instead of being honest from the start.
Commit to improving your grades. After coming clean, make a promise to both your parents and yourself to work harder at school. Your education is crucial and can shape the direction of your future. Doing well academically can open doors to opportunities you might otherwise miss. Plus, good grades mean fewer awkward conversations with your parents!
- You might say, "I didn’t do well on this test, but I learned from it. It’s not the end of the world, and there are plenty of chances to improve in the future."
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Consider being upfront with your parents about your bad grade instead of hiding it. Owning up to the situation shows maturity, and it allows you to face the consequences right away rather than dealing with more severe ones down the road.
The advice shared in this section is based on the real-life experiences of Mytour readers like you. If you have a valuable tip to share on Mytour, feel free to submit it in the field below.
- Set up a meeting with your parents to discuss your grade so you can plan out what to say beforehand. Practicing your approach can make tough conversations easier for everyone involved.
- Remind yourself that one bad grade is not the end of the world or a judgment of your character. Reframe your mindset so you can move forward with a positive outlook.
- Make a commitment to both your parents and yourself to learn from your mistakes and improve your grades moving forward. Setting clear goals will open up more opportunities for success.
- Show extra kindness to your parents when delivering bad news, such as doing an additional chore. It creates goodwill and softens their reaction, especially if you're younger.
- Continue to put in your best effort on your schoolwork, even when you receive a bad grade. Your dedication will not go unnoticed, and your parents will appreciate the effort.
Warnings
- Even if you confess the truth, you'll still face trouble, but the consequences won't be as severe as if you had hidden the truth.
- Keeping the truth from your parents will severely damage the trust they have in you.
