How to Confess Your Feelings Without Fear of Rejection

Take some time to prepare before approaching them. Preparation is always beneficial. You can't just walk into an exam without studying or take a driving test without practicing beforehand. Those who invest time and effort into winning over the person they like have a higher chance of success.

• Strive for balance to avoid over-preparing. The person you like appreciates your attention, but they don't want to feel like you've been obsessing over them every second for the past three days. That might come off as a bit strange, even if it's true!

First, take some time to relax. Take deep breaths and let your entire body go limp. Sometimes this is easier to do when you're in a private space. Relax on your bed before falling asleep, when you get home, or while showering.

Think before you speak. You can overcome or eliminate tension entirely by taking time to consider your options. Practice at home before actually approaching the person, and you won't be caught in an awkward moment of silence. Don't rush, especially if you want to impress someone important to you.

• Practice in front of a mirror. You should know what to say, but avoid sounding rehearsed. Imagine different scenarios where you have the chance to talk to the person you like, and practice in front of the mirror. The more prepared you are, the more confident you'll feel during the conversation.
• Speak playfully. While you should practice serious scenarios, try speaking in a silly way to make both of you laugh. The less serious you appear, the more natural you'll feel when the moment arrives.

Learn a little about them. Take time to find out what photos they have in their notebook, what they eat for lunch, or what sports they enjoy. Knowing these small but important details will help you spark conversations later. You could say things like:

• "I noticed those movies in your notebook. I really enjoy 80s films. Do you have a favorite?"
• "Hey, my friends and I are heading to the soccer field after school. Would you like to join?"

Find creative ways to boost your confidence. One reason you fear rejection is because it can hurt your self-esteem. Don't let that happen. It's unreasonable to let your confidence be shaken by just one person. Most of your confidence should come from your own thoughts about yourself. So, find ways to build your confidence before pursuing someone you like. This will make you more attractive in their eyes and help you stay resilient if things don't go well.

• Look at your Facebook wall. Studies show that just glancing at your Facebook wall for 3 minutes can significantly boost your confidence. Worth a try!
• Spend time with your dad. Research also shows that kids who spend more time with their fathers during adolescence tend to be more confident than those who don't. Note: It might be best to hang out with your dad for a few hours before talking to the person you like. Aim for the best results.

Don't focus on the outcome. What does this mean? It means putting yourself in a mindset where you don't care whether they like you back or not. Why is this important? It's important for two reasons. This mindset helps you handle rejection, which is ultimately the obstacle you're trying to overcome. (If you were certain you wouldn't be rejected when confessing your feelings, you wouldn't need to try so hard.) Second, it helps you build a healthier relationship with the person you like. Instead of idolizing them as a superhero who will save your world, treat them as a normal but special person.

• You might say, What? How can I do that? I can't even control that. Maybe you can't control it. But sometimes we think about the person we like too much, imagining a life with them, and that's when we start developing an unhealthy relationship with that imagined version. This imagined relationship becomes so unhealthy that we can't picture life without them, all while they remain unaware.
• If you don't care about the outcome, your confidence will grow. This is an attractive trait to many people. You don't feel like rejection by any girl or guy is a big deal, so you can shrug it off. Your confidence outweighs their rejection.

Approach the person you like when no one else is around. The first personal interaction should happen in a casual setting without too many distractions. For example, the middle of a dance floor is not the ideal place for a lengthy conversation.

• Approach them during lunch in the cafeteria. Ask to sit next to them and start a casual conversation. It’s as simple as that.
• Talk to the person you like at a party. Whether it’s a birthday party or a poolside gathering, if you’re both invited, take the opportunity to strike up a conversation.
• Interact with them through a mutual friend. If you share a friend, talk to that friend and let them create an opening for you to start the conversation.

Introduce yourself. If you’ve already introduced yourself formally, all you need to do is say "hi." Remember to make eye contact when greeting them. You might unintentionally say too much if you’re staring at their shoes while saying hello.

Ask about them. Pose thoughtful, relevant questions about their current situation—questions starting with "why" or "how" are great for keeping the conversation flowing. These types of questions often lead to deeper discussions, which are ideal when talking to someone you like.

• Avoid simple yes-or-no questions. If you ask, "Did you go to class yesterday?" they don’t need to elaborate. But if you ask, "How did you find the teacher’s lecture yesterday?" they’ll have more to say.
• Ask about their family or background. Where they’re from, what their parents do, how they know certain things, and so on. Generally, people enjoy talking about themselves, and that includes the person you like.

Remember to engage occasionally if they’re telling a long story. This means asking a few questions while they’re speaking. It shows you’re interested in what they’re saying. If you have a story to share, wait until they finish, keep it brief and sweet, so they don’t think you’re only interested in talking about yourself.

Pay attention to body language. Body language communicates a lot, whether you intend it or not. Sometimes your body says things you don’t mean to reveal. But if you’re aware of what your body is saying, you can address the issue before it betrays you. Here’s what to focus on:

• Maintain eye contact. Making and holding eye contact shows you’re interested in what the other person is saying.
• Face them directly. This signals that you’re engaged in the conversation and not hesitant.
• Smile. Your smile shows that they’re making you happy.
• Flirt subtly with body language. Especially if you’re a girl. Gently wink, play with your hair, or lightly touch their shoulder.
• Laugh at their jokes. Even if the joke isn’t funny, laugh and try to make them feel appreciated.

Avoid using obvious pickup lines! No matter what, steer clear of these. They sound terrible and rarely work. If you’re a guy and can’t think of anything to say besides cliché lines, read an article on how to start a conversation with a girl.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Seriously! If you’re a normal person, being around someone you like can make you act a little crazy. When you feel that way, you might do silly things. Lighten up. If you stumble over your words, say something like, "Wow, I can’t even speak. Must be because I’m near such a beautiful girl." If you trip and they help you up, asking, "Are you okay?" respond with, "Yeah, I think I just landed on Earth."

Ask for a date. If the conversation goes well, don’t hesitate to ask when they’re free. It could be a quick lunch tomorrow or a full-on date with movies and dinner—how you propose it depends on your confidence and their behavior during the conversation.

• After careful consideration, if you sense they like you too, don’t worry about asking when you can meet again.

Be aware of the situation. You don’t always have to be warmly received when starting a conversation. If the person you like seems uninterested or bored, ask if something’s wrong; maybe they’re having a bad day or are preoccupied with something.

• If nothing seems to be distracting them, and their discomfort with you continues to grow, politely apologize and make a quick exit, considering trying again another day.

Handle rejection calmly. There’s a chance the person you like doesn’t feel the same way about you. If that’s the case, you can still talk, but you must accept that a romantic relationship between you two isn’t possible.

• Nothing feels worse than unrequited love, so if they only see you as a regular friend, accept it and move forward.

• If you slip up or say something thoughtless, play it off as a joke by laughing or shrugging.
• Try to stay calm and confident, but not arrogant.
• All you need to do is be polite and avoid getting angry. Things might turn out better than you expect.
• Don’t constantly follow the person you like. This shows a lack of respect and reveals your nervousness.
• Try to sit near them if you’re in the same class.
• Avoid fantasizing about a romantic relationship with them. Sometimes you can get lost in this imaginary relationship and face rejection more easily. Instead of daydreaming, focus on the conversation until you’re ready to approach them.
• Tease them in a respectful way. If they tease you back, it means your approach is working. This is often the most fun way to start a connection.
• Don’t act too eager or do silly things. They might misinterpret your actions and think you’re not ready for dating.
• Make sure to learn about the person you like before asking them out.
• Don’t start by trying to talk to them alone! Join a group conversation so they can get to know you a bit.
• Try to get to know their friends. They’ll feel more comfortable around you if you’re familiar with their circle.

• After a few failed attempts, it’s time to let go. Even if you think you can make them like you with more chances to talk, a forced relationship won’t end well.
• With enough practice and preparation, this won’t be an issue. You’ll already know what to do in any situation.