How to Confront Fear

People often tend to ignore their fears, hoping they'll disappear, but unfortunately, this approach rarely works. If you don't confront them, eventually, those fears will take over you. So, is there a way to face them head-on? The most common method for this issue is exposure therapy, where you gradually face the objects and situations that trigger your fears. With the right mindset, the results will be so surprising that you'll wonder why you didn't try this sooner!

Know that you're not alone. There are thousands – even millions – of people who probably share similar fears. For example, over 50% of Americans are afraid of creatures that move by crawling (snakes, spiders, insects)! Blaming yourself or feeling ashamed of your fear won't help you overcome it. On the contrary, when you realize that fear is a normal human emotion, you can find the strength to confront it.

• You can also search online for support groups for your specific fear. How have others dealt with and conquered their fears? What can you learn from them? And, of course, Mytour is here too. What do some of these articles say to you?
• How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking
• How to Overcome the Fear of Clowns
• How to Overcome the Fear of Needles
• How to Overcome the Fear of Strangers
• How to Overcome the Fear of Spiders
• How to Overcome the Fear of Flying

List Your Fears. To tackle fear, you first need to understand what causes it. Take a moment to sit down and write down all the things that scare you. What are they? Where do they come from? What is their root? Do they occur suddenly? When do they seem less intimidating? How do they make you feel? By distancing yourself from your fear and viewing it on paper, you can think more clearly and objectively about it.

• If you have multiple similar fears, consider grouping them together.
• Starting a “fear journal” is a great idea. Every time you overcome a fear, take your journal and write it down. Not only is it a good way to release your emotions, but it will also build your confidence and help you realize that you have the power to take control of the situation. It might also help you distance yourself from the things you fear.

Distinguish Between Rational and Irrational Fears. In certain situations, feeling fear to some degree is perfectly natural. Fear is an evolutionary advantage that has helped humans survive in a world full of danger for thousands of years. However, there are other, more irrational fears that often lead to unnecessary struggles and suffering.

• For example, encountering a bear while hiking is a perfectly natural and healthy response, as you’re in a dangerous situation. On the other hand, refusing to fly due to the fear of an accident is completely irrational. Statistics show that flying is far safer than driving. Understanding the difference between rational and irrational fears can help you manage your reactions.

Draw a “Fear Ladder”. Choose a fear you want to confront and write it at the top of the ladder. Then, break it down into smaller steps. Start from the lowest rung and write the least intimidating action you can take to face it. With each subsequent rung, choose an action that brings you closer to the top, where you’ll face the fear directly. You can divide your ladder into as many rungs as necessary, but be careful not to skip too many steps too quickly. Write down a variety of actions you can take.

• Imagine you're afraid of flying, and even getting close to an airplane makes you nervous. At the bottom of your ladder, your first step could be researching the mechanics of flight. (No more thinking “the wings are only lifted by magic!”). The next step might be to “go to the airport.” This step is a little less intimidating, as you’re only going to the airport, not flying. Next, you might book a short 30-minute flight with a friend. At the top of the ladder, you would take a long flight by yourself.
• Starting with small steps is a great idea. Some people make the mistake of jumping right into confronting their biggest fear, but exposure therapy is most effective when done gradually.
• If you’re unsure how to structure your “fear ladder,” you can find templates online at Anxiety BC.

Confront Your Thoughts. Once you’ve centered your mind around the fear – understanding where it comes from and breaking it down into manageable steps – it’s time to fully engage with it. Remember, your fear is just a thought that you can control. Changing your “inner dialogue,” or the way you view a situation, can shift your response to fear.

• One way to do this is to change your focus from the worst-case scenario to the best-case scenario. For instance, you may really want to go scuba diving, but your mind keeps focusing on the worst possible outcome: being eaten by a shark, having your oxygen tank fail, or drowning. While these are possible, the chances of them happening are extremely low: the risk of dying from a shark attack is 1 in 3,700,000. (For comparison, the risk of being harmed by air fresheners is 1 in 2,600). On the other hand, the chances of having a fantastic experience doing something you fear are very high. Why deny yourself an experience that could bring so much joy and beauty?
• Equipping yourself with statistics is also helpful. Even though irrational fears are, well, irrational, you can counter the tendency to catastrophize – or jump to the worst-case scenario – by learning some facts about what you're afraid of. For example, if you know that from 1992 to 2001, there were 30 accidents out of 7,000,000 flights in North America, it might make your fear of flying harder to justify.

Seek Help from a Mental Health Professional. Some fears may not disrupt your daily life too much, especially if you can avoid the source of the fear (like staying away from areas with snakes if you're afraid of them). However, other fears, like social anxiety, can ruin your life every day. If you regularly suffer from fear, or if it causes significant problems in your life, it’s time to consult a mental health professional. They can help you identify the root cause of your fear and assist you in taking steps to conquer it.

• Mental health professionals can provide various treatments. Prescription medications like beta-blockers and antidepressants can help manage anxiety and stress caused by fear, while cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) helps reframe your thoughts so that you can ultimately control your emotions. Exposure therapy, which has been mentioned earlier in this article, is also known to be effective for tackling specific phobias, such as the fear of elevators, sharks, and similar situations.

Understand that Fear is Learned. Most fears are learned behaviors. As children, we were not born with fears. However, as we grew, we learned what to be afraid of. We became scared of speaking to others. We became scared of public speaking. We became scared of roller coasters. But at one point, we weren’t afraid. The trick to overcoming fear is remembering that it’s something we’ve learned—and just as we learned it, we can unlearn it.

• This is especially true for social anxiety, which often stems from the fear of rejection and a lack of self-compassion. If you don’t criticize your loved ones for their actions, then chances are, most people won’t criticize you either. (And if they do, the issue lies more with them than with you).

Visualize Your Success. Imagine yourself confident and completely fearless. While confidence doesn’t guarantee success, approaching a situation with confidence can push you to perform better. So, picture yourself in that scenario. Imagine the sights, sounds, sensations, and feelings you would experience. Now take control of it.

• This requires practice. Start with five minutes of visualization. Once you feel more comfortable, you can increase it to 10 minutes. Gradually, you can spend as much time as you want stepping into that zone.

Relax Your Body. Progressive muscle relaxation exercises can help relieve anxiety, making it easier to face your fears.

• Choose a quiet, comfortable place and lie down.
• Focus on tensing a muscle group, such as your hand or forehead. Maintain the tension for 5 seconds.
• Relax. Feel the release of tension spread throughout that muscle group.
• Repeat the process with other muscle groups like your face, hands, arms, back, stomach, hips, thighs, calves, and feet.

Breathing. When you experience fear, your sympathetic nervous system is activated, leading to physical symptoms such as increased heart rate and rapid, shallow breathing. Counter these symptoms by focusing on deep, steady, and calming breathing exercises.

• Lie on your back and place your hand on your stomach. As you breathe in through your nose, your stomach should rise. Then breathe out through your mouth. Repeat this process 10 times.

Live in the Present Moment. Many fears stem from anxiety about an uncontrollable future. Winston Churchill once said, “When I look back on all those worries, I am reminded of the dying words of an old man who said that he had encountered many troubles in life that never actually happened.” Practicing mindfulness meditation can help you stay in the present moment and avoid being haunted by things beyond your control.

• Mindfulness meditation can also enhance your focus and create a deeper sense of happiness and acceptance.

Turn Your Fear into Energy. Fearful states can generate powerful energy thanks to the activation of the sympathetic nervous system (the system responsible for the ‘fight or flight’ response). While you may never fully relax and calm down when facing something that terrifies you, you can change the way you think about that fear. Instead of seeing it as dread, envision the energy of fear as enthusiasm—the body cannot tell the difference.

• For example, if you're afraid of flying but want to visit loved ones far away, try transforming the energy of your fear about flying or taking a train into excitement for achieving your ultimate goal. You may feel a bit uneasy at times, but you’ll be happy you didn’t let fear stop you from visiting your family.

Think About Your Past Achievements. Reflecting on past successes boosts your confidence, making you feel stronger to confront your fears. What have you done wonderfully when faced with adversity? What have you accomplished that you weren’t sure you could? What didn’t defeat you but made you stronger?

• Don’t downplay your achievements. You may have succeeded more than you realize, even if it wasn’t something grand like becoming the President of the United States. Did you graduate high school? File your taxes on time? Cook dinner? Those are all victories.

Think About the Next 20 Seconds. Just the next 20 seconds. When about to face your fear, think only of the next 20 seconds. That’s it. It won’t put the rest of your life at risk, and it won’t even ruin the rest of your day. The next 20 seconds is all that matters.

• 20 seconds of awkward bravery. 20 seconds of intense relief. 20 seconds of irresistible courage. You can handle it, can’t you? Can you pretend for 1/3 of a minute? Because after those first 20 seconds, everything else will fall into place.

Face Your Fears. Start at the lowest level of your fear ladder. Repeat the step multiple times until you begin to feel more comfortable with it. For example, if you fear public speaking, start by simply saying 'hello' to the cashier at the grocery store. Plan each step in advance so that you feel in control of the situation.

• If you fear a static condition like heights, try to expose yourself for as long as possible (for instance, by looking over the railing on the second floor of a mall). If you fear an action or an object, repeatedly do that action until you feel less anxious (for example, greet every person you encounter at the supermarket).
• The more you face the object or situation you fear, the more likely you are to break the cycle of fear. However, if you reach a point where you can’t bear it, don’t be discouraged! You can take a break and try again another day.

Take One Step at a Time. Don’t rush, but keep pushing yourself. Once you’ve gained control over the first step on your fear ladder, move on to the next. When you start feeling comfortable facing your fears, don’t stop! You don’t want to lose the progress you’ve made. Keep challenging yourself.

Join a Support Network. There may be others in your community who share your fears. Your chances of success will increase when you have mutual support. There is no shame in asking for help. If you can’t find an official support group, consider talking to friends or family about your fears and ask for their assistance.

• Tell your friends and loved ones about your plan to confront your fears and ask them to accompany you. Let them know how you might react and how they can help. They will likely be happy to support you.

Talk About Your Fears. Sharing your fears with others helps you realize that you are not alone, and this can make your fears seem more manageable. Your friends may come up with solutions to help you overcome what frightens you. You may even find that joking about your fears gives you the courage to face them.

• For example, if you fear giving a long presentation, talk about it with a friend. You could even practice your presentation in front of close friends. Rehearsing multiple times in front of people you feel comfortable with can give you the confidence you need to succeed when you deliver the actual presentation.

Fake it Till You Make It. The advice to 'fake it till you make it' holds true. Research shows that you can actually become more confident simply by pretending. If you fear something like public speaking, you likely understand your own insecurities better than anyone. Approach the situation with confidence, even if it’s just for show, and you’ll find that it’s not as terrifying as you imagined.

• You might be surprised to learn how easily you can trick your own mind. For example, did you know that simply smiling can actually make you feel happier? That’s the same principle behind faking confidence, even when you’re truly anxious on the inside.

Reward Yourself. Each time you face a small fear and take a step forward on the fear ladder, reward yourself. Self-rewarding after confronting a challenge is an example of 'reinforcement conditioning', where the sweet reward follows the action, and it’s very effective in altering behavior.

• When you’ve tackled your biggest fear, give yourself the biggest reward. The greater the fear, the greater the reward should be. Set a reward in advance as a goal to work toward! Everyone needs a motivational boost. Once you receive your reward and others recognize your progress, you’ll feel a stronger drive to succeed. With positive thinking, you can achieve it.

• Think carefully and cautiously when facing your fears. For instance, if you’re afraid of sharks, don’t dive straight into a shark-infested area and attempt to swim.
• Don’t rush into confronting the scariest thing you can think of right away. Doing so will likely cause you more harm than good in the long run.
• Some anxiety-related disorders like panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder are very serious and require medical treatment. Don’t hesitate to seek help! Consult with a mental health professional.