How to Control Negative Thoughts

Do you often wake up feeling unhappy every day? If you notice that negative thoughts are beginning to take over your life, act quickly before stress stops you in your tracks. Learn how to identify and eliminate negative thoughts, then replace them with positive exercises. This way, not only will opportunities arise, but you'll also have the power to change both your mental state and your day.

Identify your negative thoughts. Some thoughts will come to mind immediately, but if you have trouble identifying them, you can start journaling. Write one or two sentences describing your negative thoughts every time they appear.

• Look for thoughts that make you feel sad or discouraged, such as blaming yourself or feeling ashamed of things that aren't your fault, interpreting mistakes as personal failures, or imagining that minor problems are more significant than they truly are ("making a mountain out of a molehill").
• Notice if your negative thoughts fall into common cognitive distortions such as "all or nothing thinking", "overgeneralizing", "jumping to conclusions", "rationalizing change", etc....

Stop Negative Thinking Immediately. Once you've clearly identified your own negative thoughts, you can counter them by saying something positive to yourself. For example, instead of saying, "My morning is terrible," try saying something like, "This morning is challenging, but things will get better." Keep your mind focused on positive thoughts.

• If you're struggling, always remember this trick: never say something to yourself that you wouldn't say to someone else. Remind yourself to stay positive, and gradually it will become a habit.

Pay Attention to Your Vocabulary. Do you often use absolute terms? For instance, "I will never be able to do this," or "I always mess things up." Absolute language tends to exaggerate and leaves no room for explanation or understanding.

• Your vocabulary consists of the words you use to express yourself to others, as well as to yourself, whether spoken or thought internally.

Remove Excessively Negative Words from Your Vocabulary. You should avoid using heavy words like "terrible" and "disaster" for minor annoyances or inconveniences. Instead, replace them with words that encourage positive thinking or express support.

• When you catch yourself using one of these words, immediately substitute it with a milder term in your mind. For example, replace "terrible" with "unfortunate" or "not as good as I hoped," and "disaster" with "inconvenience" or "challenge."

Transform Negative Words into Positive Ones. In life, there aren't many situations that can be entirely good or bad. Looking for the positives in uncomfortable situations can help lessen the impact of negative experiences. If you notice yourself slipping into negative thinking, stop immediately and focus on the more positive aspects.

• For example, if your computer breaks down and you have to replace an internal component, it may be inconvenient, but this experience offers you an opportunity to learn new skills or reinforce existing ones.

Start your day by thinking of 5 good things. These don't need to be grand or ambitious. They could be something simple, like the scent of a cup of coffee or the melody of your favorite song. Reflecting on these and saying them aloud can help you start your day by focusing on positivity. This method can form the foundation of a positive mindset for the entire day, making it harder for negativity to take hold.

• Though you might feel silly stating positive affirmations or declarations aloud, studies show that verbalizing positive thoughts can actually help you believe what you're saying. This practice can improve your happiness and enhance your focus when you speak your positive thoughts aloud.

Enjoy your day. Even though you might be busy, small moments can lift your spirits, and your mind will have fewer reasons to wander into negative habits. Don't overemphasize everything. Allow yourself to relax, laugh out loud, and smile. Take opportunities to engage socially and surround yourself with supportive, positive people.

• If you feel stressed, take a short break and think about something else instead of focusing on the source of your stress.

Practice healthy habits. Negative thinking and stress reinforce each other. While negative thoughts can create stress, other unhealthy habits contribute to the issue as well. Strive to eat fresh, nutritious food whenever possible, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep.

• You’ll notice that exercise is actually a great way to keep your mind off negative thoughts.
• Avoid smoking, drinking excessively, or engaging in any habits that overstrain your body.

Control your environment. You are not powerless against your own thoughts. If something is bothering you, change it. Play music, layer your clothes to ensure you're never too hot or cold, and adjust the lighting in different ways to fight off the feelings of helplessness associated with stress.

• Once you've made adjustments, congratulate yourself for taking the effort to improve your mood. Actively managing your thoughts will help you easily eliminate negative thinking right from the start.

Unwind and relax in the evening. Find a quiet, comfortable spot and take time to relax. Reflect on your day and identify 5 positive things you experienced. Say each one aloud or write them down in a journal.

• You can also write about something you're grateful for. This way, you’ll be more mindful of the positive aspects of your life.

Consider seeing a counselor or therapist. If you find yourself overwhelmed by negative emotions, in addition to practicing positive thinking exercises, talking to a counselor can be very helpful. You might want to look for a therapist trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). They can help you train your mind to focus on positive thoughts.

• To find a therapist you trust, you can ask friends who have previously tried counseling or therapy. You could also ask your doctor for a recommendation.

Book a one-time appointment with a therapist. Think of it as a mental health checkup. You’re not required to stay if you don’t feel comfortable, and there’s no obligation for ongoing visits.

• Schedule the appointment with an open mind, hoping the counselor can help you. If it doesn’t work out, you can always look for another professional who might make you feel more comfortable.

Describe your negative emotions to the therapist. Remember, therapy is a private and safe space, so you can be honest with your therapist. The more honest you are, the more they can help you.

• Be sure to explain how negative thoughts affect your emotions. Describe how often you experience them and what coping strategies you typically use.

Schedule future appointments with the therapist if needed. If you feel comfortable with this therapist, you can plan one or two more sessions. Keep in mind that it might take one or two sessions to deal with your negative thoughts.

• Don’t be discouraged if you feel that a few sessions with a counselor don’t provide immediate results. You can always look for another therapist who may help you feel more at ease.