How to Control Your Mind

The mind consists of many different parts that influence our actions. You may wish to change how certain aspects of your mind affect your behavior. For instance, one part of your mind might focus on accumulating enough calories and nutrition, which urges you to eat fatty foods, while another part realizes that consuming too much of that over time will harm your health and physical appearance. To control the mind, mastering the behavior you want to change is key. You can try various methods to alter your mindset and actions.

Avoid Repetition. You may find yourself having negative thoughts without intending to. Here are some tips to help you control your mind and stop those repetitive thoughts:

• Consider the worst-case scenario. Although this might seem counterintuitive and lead to repetitive thinking, when you think about the worst possible outcome and assess whether you can handle it, you'll realize you're already looking for ways to manage that situation, which helps reduce anxiety.
• Schedule thinking time for yourself. By setting aside specific time to think about a particular issue, you can ensure that you'll dedicate time to it, preventing you from overthinking the issue when you don't want to.
• Take a walk. Stepping outside helps distract your mind. Whether due to physical activity or your brain being occupied with new sensory information (sights, sounds, smells), this shift helps take your mind off the issue and reduces stress.

Believe in your ability to change. If you don't believe that you can change, you won't put in the effort that comes with that belief. So, make sure you approach challenges with positive thinking. Always remind yourself that change is possible and that you can improve the way you think.

• Research shows that individuals who embrace this "evolution" of the mind are more likely to improve compared to those who think their traits and abilities are fixed and unchangeable.

Be optimistic about your capabilities. While you may think that assessing your self-control abilities is key, research indicates that maintaining optimism about your ability to control your actions can make self-control easier.

• To become more optimistic, you must remind yourself that you will succeed in controlling your mind even when you're not entirely confident about it.
• Keep reflecting on moments where you have successfully controlled your mind. Only focus on those successes, and avoid dwelling on failures.

Reframe the things you're struggling to control. Try changing your perspective on the issues you're trying to control. For example, if part of you desires to drink alcohol but you're trying to quit, imagine the alcohol as poison. Picture it flowing through your body, infecting your cells and organs. Studies have shown that people who reframe (re-assess) what they desire into something undesirable are more successful at self-control.

• To do this, make a conscious effort to vividly imagine and fully internalize the idea that the object you want to avoid has transformed into something harmful.

Stop overgeneralizing. Overgeneralization is when you apply a negative outcome to other situations or to your future expectations. For example, someone who overgeneralizes might say, "I had a tough childhood, so my life will always be difficult." To break free from overgeneralization, you can:

• Take control of your future by working hard and persevering. For instance, if you had a rough childhood and believe your life will always be tough, you can identify how you want to change your life and work toward making that happen.
• For example, you may desire a more meaningful relationship or a better job. You can research how to achieve those things and then set goals to make them a reality.

Avoid taking everything personally. You might find yourself overwhelmed with thoughts when you assume responsibility for things that are out of your control. For instance, if your daughter falls at school, you might say, "It's my fault she fell" even though the situation was entirely out of your control.

• To avoid this, try to think carefully and logically about the event you're blaming yourself for. This might help clarify things.
• For example, you can ask yourself, "What could I do to prevent my daughter from falling when I'm not around her?"

Avoid jumping to conclusions. You may get stuck in a web of thoughts based on current facts without any concrete evidence. For example, someone who tends to jump to conclusions might believe that people dislike them, even though there is no solid proof of this.

• To avoid jumping to conclusions, it’s important to pause and think carefully before making any judgments. This gives you the opportunity to challenge your own thoughts. For example, you can ask yourself whether you’re truly sure that your thoughts are correct. You could also inquire to verify whether there is valid evidence to back up your conclusions. In the earlier example, the man who assumes nobody likes him could ask himself if there’s a specific conversation with someone that could serve as proof for his conclusion.

Avoid catastrophizing. This is a mental trap where you magnify every issue. For instance, someone who catastrophizes after failing a test might think, 'My life is ruined, I’ll never get a new job.'

• To stop catastrophizing, it’s necessary to think more positively. You can ask yourself logical questions to reframe the situation. For example, someone who fails a test and believes their life is ruined because they will never land a new job could ask themselves, 'Do I know anyone who failed a test and still found a good job or lived happily?' or 'If I were a recruiter, would I base my decision solely on the score of a test?'

Plan your life. If you clearly define the path of your life, you will be less affected by distractions along the way. List the important things you want to achieve: a stable career? starting a family? becoming wealthy?

• You don’t need to write down every specific step to achieve that goal; simply keeping the broad goal in mind will help guide your life.
• When setting personal goals, it’s important not to set them too high as you may risk failure or lose motivation.
• Instead, set a few big goals (like learning software coding), but break them down into smaller, more achievable tasks (such as reading one chapter of a coding book each week). This way, you can track your progress toward your bigger goal.

Smile even when you're not happy. Negative emotions can cause you to lose control and make it hard to master your thoughts. A way to counteract these emotions is to smile.

• While the idea that you smile because you feel happy may seem obvious, the facial feedback hypothesis suggests that smiling can actually make you feel happier.

Giving your time and money to others. Research shows that dedicating your time and money to others can increase happiness and health. These factors may enhance your self-image and reduce negative feelings, making it easier to maintain self-control.

• What matters is not how you spend your time or money, but whether you and the person you are helping value this gesture.

Creating obstacles for yourself. One way to control your mind is by making it harder to get what it desires. This deliberate challenge makes it difficult for a part of your mind to take over and influence your behavior. For example, if you want to control the urge to watch TV when you need to cut down on screen time, placing the remote in a hard-to-find location can help.

• Another example: If you tend to hit the snooze button repeatedly in the morning, putting your alarm clock far from the bed forces you to get up to turn it off.
• On a larger scale, if you struggle with limiting sexual activity and want to change this behavior, avoid situations that might trigger it, such as staying away from bars or nightclubs, or even deleting the contact information of those who tempt you.

Rewarding yourself for successful self-control. When you successfully manage your mind, rewarding yourself can motivate you to keep going. For instance, if you dislike exercising but push yourself to do it, treat yourself with a piece of chocolate or allow yourself extra time to watch TV.

• However, be cautious not to set rewards too large, as this can backfire and cause you to lose control, reverting to old habits. For example, if your goal is to lose weight and you successfully control your mind to work out despite not enjoying it, avoid eating too much chocolate afterward, as it may undo your efforts.

Punishing yourself for failed self-control. Just like rewarding successful self-control brings benefits, punishing yourself for failures can also be effective. In fact, studies have shown that the threat of punishment can make people more likely to control themselves.

• To ensure the punishment works, you can involve a family member, friend, or partner to carry it out when you fail to maintain self-control. For example, they might hide your dessert if you fail to resist the temptation.

Reducing stress. The mind and body are tightly connected; the mind can create physical stress, and physical tension can affect the mind. When people are stressed, they attempt to control themselves to cope, but eventually lose that control. Therefore, minimizing stress is crucial to sustaining self-control. There are several effective stress-reduction techniques that have been proven to work:

• Try relaxation techniques, like deep belly breathing: inhale deeply, hold the breath for a few seconds, then exhale slowly. You can also focus your mind by repeating a calming word (such as 'calm' or 'peace').
• Exercise, which helps you breathe deeply and relax your muscles.
• Talking with friends and family, as social support can relieve stress.