How to Control Your Mood

Cultivate a Positive Mindset. Constant emotional shifts often happen when you expect something negative to occur, in other words, when you hold negative thoughts. For instance, you may be waiting for a job result and immediately assume the worst, even though you only had the interview yesterday. Or when your mom says she has news to share, your mind jumps to the worst-case scenario, assuming she is seriously ill. Such negative thoughts are often inaccurate and can significantly impact your emotions, causing you to feel angry or sad without a clear reason. There are two strategies you can use to counter such unhelpful automatic thinking:

• Take some time to relax. Instead of anticipating the worst, consider other potential outcomes. This way, you'll realize the worst-case scenario is unlikely, and there’s no reason to feel overly upset if you haven't received any bad news yet.
• Alternatively, you can prepare for the worst. If you're mentally prepared for the worst-case scenario, you can focus on other things instead of dwelling on potential negative consequences.

Avoid exaggerating the negative consequences. Blowing up the negative aspects can easily lead to a gloomy mood. What if a date doesn't go as planned or you fail to connect with your colleague? You might start thinking that means you'll never find true love or that you're destined for failure, but don't let a single situation or conversation define your entire life. Overreacting will only bring you down, but there are ways to handle it.

• Remind yourself that past events were simply coincidences. Rather than viewing an incident (like disagreeing with a colleague or partner) as a reflection of your relationship with them, think of it as a natural fluctuation in every relationship or as an exception. Remind yourself of the achievements you've made in similar situations, and you'll feel calmer and realize that it's not worth dwelling on such things.

Make room for the gray areas in life. Thinking strictly in extremes like "black and white" (for example: perfection vs. disaster, beauty vs. ugliness, etc.) has been shown to be linked with rapid mood swings.

• Over-focusing on one specific outcome (at the expense of others) limits your ability to connect with the ideas and emotions that come with interacting socially. If you only evaluate things in two clear-cut extremes like good or bad, success or failure, attractive or unattractive, you lose out on many other experiences.
• Remember that the world is full of colors, not just black and white. The same event can have many different outcomes, not just success or failure.
• For instance, your recent business investment might have taken a hit. Does that mean you're a failure in business? Absolutely not. You've achieved many successes, and yes, there have been some setbacks. That particular investment only made you more realistic and well-rounded.
• If something doesn't go as planned, treat it as an experience. Not getting your desired position doesn't mean you're not qualified; it just means that particular position wasn't a perfect fit for you. This vast world offers many more opportunities. Don't let rejection letters define who you are or ruin your mood.

Learn to laugh at yourself. One of the most effective ways to control your mood swings is to step back and laugh at yourself. People who tend to experience sudden mood changes often struggle with being too rigid with themselves. This makes it harder to lighten up or find humor when they notice their own flaws.

• For example, you're on your way to a date and a bird poops on your head. You could react with anger, frustration, or embarrassment, or you could think, 'Wow, this hardly ever happens!' or 'At least I've got a story to tell the kids about my first date!' Of course, there are some situations that can't be laughed off. But aside from those, joking around can help you stay strong and maintain emotional control during these awkward moments.

Evaluate situations objectively. Take some time to think. You might need to adjust your expectations in a way that reflects reality. Sometimes, you might feel a certain emotion building up after 15 minutes of circling the parking lot at the supermarket. It may feel like the world is collapsing in that moment, but take a step back and consider what’s truly causing your frustration. Did the supermarket parking lot really fill up right before dinner on a busy weeknight? Are you truly upset about something as trivial as finding a parking spot, or is it a rude comment from a colleague that's triggering you? Ask yourself whether these issues are really significant in the bigger picture. It might be that you’re overreacting, making a molehill into a mountain.

• We often let our emotions take over without considering their root cause. While it may not help to know that your current emotional state isn’t entirely logical, thinking this way can at least help you calm down and realize that things aren't as bad as you think.
• Think about your situation as if you were someone else. What would you advise yourself to do? Do you think the problem you're facing is really a big deal?

Know when to walk away. A key point to remember if you want to manage sudden emotional changes is recognizing when your emotions have escalated to the point where the best course of action is to exit the situation. If you find yourself becoming overly irritable, furious, or feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions that make you lose control of what you're saying or doing, it's time to excuse yourself and step away. You may even leave without saying anything. While this approach may not provide the resolution you were hoping for, it will help you avoid saying or doing things you might regret later.

• During a heated debate, if the tension is rising, try saying something like, 'Sorry, I need a few minutes to gather my thoughts.' Then, find a quiet space to reflect on what just happened.
• Once you’ve left and regained some calm, you may develop a more rational perspective on the situation. From there, you can decide whether to return to the discussion or leave it at that.

Take a five-minute break. Sometimes all you need is a short pause to regain control of your emotions. If you feel your emotions rising, regardless of the cause, take five minutes to relax, focus on your breathing until your heart rate slows, and then return to the situation when you're calmer. Remember, there's no shame in taking a moment to reset and come back with a more composed mindset.

• Count from 1 to 10 and take deep breaths. The technique of counting to 10, if practiced regularly, can be effective because it creates a mental break between the event and your reaction, giving you time to manage your emotions.
• Sometimes, a change of scenery is all you need. Perhaps you've been sitting at your desk too long and need to step outside for some fresh air. Or maybe you've been driving all day and now need a moment to sit and relax. Whatever the case, taking a brief break can have a positive effect on your emotional state.

Talk it out with a friend. If you’re in a tough emotional state and can’t seem to shake it, the best thing you can do may be to call a close friend who you trust to keep your conversation private. You'll feel lighter once you express your frustrations, sadness, or anxiety, and you won’t feel as isolated when dealing with negative emotions. Knowing that you have friends to rely on during times of crisis can help you manage mood swings because you’ll feel reassured knowing that support, advice, and encouragement are easily available.

• However, if every time you're feeling down, you call someone and dwell endlessly on what happened, you might end up making the situation worse. Be self-aware and consider whether talking things out is really the best solution for you in that moment.

Find a routine that brings you peace. Everyone has their own method of achieving a 'calm state'. You need to try different things to discover what works best for you. For some, simply walking around helps clear the mind. For others, it might be enjoying a cup of peppermint or chamomile tea. Some people unwind by listening to jazz or classical music, while others prefer spending time playing with their pets. Make an effort to find something that helps you feel centered and gives you control over your emotions, then make it a habit when you're feeling out of sorts.

• When you feel an emotion beginning to rise, try to do whatever works best to calm you down. While it’s not always possible to do so, make an effort to find peace in whatever way you can. Carry a box of herbal tea if it helps you stay grounded, or keep a picture of your cat on your phone to remind you of a peaceful moment.

Think before you speak. This is an essential rule for managing your emotions. If you feel an emotion brewing, and during that time, you might say something that hurts others or makes them unhappy, you’ll likely regret it later. When you feel anger building, take a moment to think about whether what you're about to say will be beneficial, or if there’s another way to express your point of view or achieve your goal. Taking just a few seconds to pause can help you control yourself more effectively.

• Speaking impulsively without fully thinking things through can make the situation worse, and it could cause your mood to spiral downward as well.

Eat. Many people discover that they become irritable or angry when their blood sugar is low and they need to eat something. Recent studies suggest that basic physiological needs, such as hunger, can affect how we perceive certain issues. Moreover, neglecting these needs may lead us to feel threatened by things that are not truly important in our daily lives.

• Reflect on when you last had a meal; you might have skipped a meal or not eaten in hours without realizing it. If you notice your mood dropping at any point, try eating a small snack like an apple, cashews, or a cup of yogurt, and you may feel an improvement in your mood.
• It’s best to be prepared to avoid a drop in mood due to hunger. Carry a banana, an energy bar, or a pack of nuts with you to maintain your blood sugar levels throughout the day.

Take a walk. Walking has been proven to help combat bad moods. A 30-minute walk in the fresh air can reduce stress and lower the risk of cardiovascular diseases, strokes, obesity, and some types of cancer.

• Make walking a daily habit and especially when you're feeling down. As you walk, focus on the rhythm of your body and your breath, and you'll quickly notice how it helps shift your mood.
• You may also find yourself in a bad mood if you've been ruminating on challenges all day. Walking can help you realize that, apart from your own issues, many other people are facing their own struggles in life.

Journal your thoughts. Keeping a journal can help you reflect on your emotions and consider ways to stabilize your mood in specific situations. In your journal, you can write about your day along with how you felt—whether you were happy, sad, anxious, or restless—so you can better understand your emotional patterns. You might realize, for example, that your mood often dips in the evening or when interacting with certain people. By regularly tracking your thoughts and feelings, you'll become more aware of your emotions, making it easier to control your mood.

• Try to write in your journal every day. This practice will help you develop a habit of sitting down to think, which can prevent impulsive reactions.

Identify the causes of your mood. Everyone has triggers that affect their mood. If you can identify these triggers, you can create strategies to manage them. It's fortunate if your mood is influenced by something you can easily avoid, like a specific person or place. However, often the things that affect your mood are situations you can't easily avoid. Therefore, learning coping skills to manage these triggers is essential, as it helps you control your emotions in future situations.

• For instance, if you're frustrated by traffic, try playing some classical or jazz music. If a colleague is making you angry, find ways to avoid them or limit your interactions. Just like physical exercise, this is a way to train yourself to handle your limits without overburdening yourself.
• If avoiding the source of your mood is impossible—for example, if it's your boss—try moderating your exposure. Put the situation in perspective by reminding yourself of what you can and cannot control. If your boss is rude or creates uncomfortable situations, consider finding ways to ease the tension, such as looking for a new job, speaking with their supervisor, or addressing the issue directly with them. However, remember that you can only control your own actions, not what others say or do.

Get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation is one of the main causes of losing control over your mood. Regularly lacking sleep leaves you feeling foggy, sluggish, and easily irritated, and it also makes it harder to manage both your mind and body. Although each person's sleep needs differ, most people generally need 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. Once you know how many hours of sleep you need, make sure to get that amount consistently, and try to develop a routine of going to bed and waking up at the same time every day.

• If you drink too much coffee, you may not even realize how sleep-deprived you actually are. By cutting back on coffee and getting more sleep, you’ll likely notice a significant improvement in your mood and overall well-being.

Reduce your stress. The first step in managing stress is recognizing the level of pressure you're under. This self-awareness will allow you to take further steps to alleviate stress, as described in this section. Our emotional responses act as indicators that something isn't quite right, whether physically or mentally. Therefore, identifying the stressors in your life—things that make you anxious, angry, or overwhelmed—is crucial for finding effective solutions. There are many strategies and methods for reducing stress and boosting your mental health.

• If your schedule is too packed, evaluate and remove unnecessary events or tasks that don't need immediate attention. Research shows that the time you spend with family and friends is inversely related to your stress levels and work performance. Therefore, allocating time to relax with loved ones is essential.
• If a certain relationship in your life is causing you stress, it’s time to reconsider that relationship. Whether it's with a parent or someone else important to you, addressing the issue sooner rather than later is important.
• Dedicate more time to relaxation. This could involve activities like practicing yoga, hanging out with friends, taking a long bath, or meditating. Meditation is one of the simplest yet most effective ways to reduce blood pressure and alleviate anxiety, stress, and depression symptoms.

Limit excessive coffee consumption. If you drink more coffee than the average person, say more than 2-3 cups per day, this might be one of the reasons your mood swings are so noticeable, as coffee can lead to increased anxiety and/or elevated blood pressure. Just like anything else, the amount of coffee one can handle varies—some people may drink four cups without issue, while others may notice a shift in their mood after just one or two cups. If you believe coffee is behind your unstable emotions, especially if your mood changes rapidly after drinking it, consider cutting down on your caffeine intake. You might be surprised at how much better you feel and how much easier it is to control your mood.

• Switch to tea instead of coffee. Some people find that the caffeine in tea affects them differently than the caffeine in coffee. For instance, green tea has less caffeine than black tea, so you may want to try various types to see which one works best for you.
• Drink tea or coffee slowly. If your cup is empty within 10 minutes, you are more likely to experience mood changes.
• Avoid energy drinks. These beverages can leave you feeling jittery and anxious, causing your mood to fluctuate, even if you're not typically prone to such feelings.

Avoid excessive alcohol consumption. Your mood is likely to shift more dramatically if you drink more than a glass of red wine per day. Drinking alcohol, especially before bed, can lead to a restless sleep, leaving you feeling sluggish and drained when you wake up. Try to minimize your alcohol intake, or even eliminate it entirely if possible.

• In addition to alcohol, it's important to stay away from illicit drugs. Not only do they destabilize your mood, but they also lead to other negative physical and mental consequences.

Increase physical activity. Make exercise a regular habit, as it will help you burn off excess energy and keep your emotions and mood more balanced. While 30 minutes of daily exercise won't completely control your emotions, it will help you feel more in charge of both your mind and body. Physical activity brings real benefits both physically and mentally by reducing your stress levels and lowering your blood pressure.

• Choose an activity that suits you. Whether it's running, yoga, dancing, swimming, or any form of exercise, find what works for you. If you're just starting, begin with simple steps. Exercise at your own pace, but avoid overexerting yourself to prevent injury. Gradually working your way up will make you feel more comfortable and at ease.

Find an emotional outlet. An emotional outlet can be anything that helps you channel your negative or excessive emotions into a productive activity. Photography, poetry, and pottery are some hobbies that can be incredibly useful for releasing emotions. Find something that brings you peace or helps you escape from daily challenges. This doesn't mean you're 'running away' from your emotions; rather, it helps you reduce emotional fluctuations by allowing you to engage in activities you love.

• Your emotional outlet doesn’t have to be a creative activity or require special skills. It could be any activity that helps you disconnect from negative emotions, such as volunteering or watching classic films. The key is to find something that works for you—something that truly helps you move past negative feelings.
• Your emotional outlet can also be what you turn to when you're feeling stressed or emotionally unstable. For instance, if you feel like you're heading into a bad mood, you can try writing poetry, drawing, or anything else that distracts you and brings a sense of calm.

Spend quality time with family and friends. Social relationships play a significant role in reducing sudden mood swings, and they can also uplift your spirits. Although some relationships may bring negativity, being around loved ones—those who make you feel genuinely happy—can be extremely beneficial, as they bring you calmness and comfort. If you feel anxious or sad from isolation, spending time with others helps you reconnect and feel supported. Aim to visit or spend time with friends and family several times a week to improve your mood and mental state.

• Enjoying some alone time is also essential. People who feel overwhelmed and don't take time for themselves are often the ones most prone to mood swings. Therefore, it's important to make sure you dedicate time to yourself—whether it’s journaling, going for a walk, or sitting quietly and reflecting.

Maintain a balanced diet. A healthy and balanced diet helps keep both your body and mind in harmony. Aim to eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables every day, minimize processed foods and starches, and reduce your sugar intake. A diet rich in carbohydrates, protein, fruits, and vegetables helps stabilize your mood. Here are some foods that can improve your mood:

• Omega 3. Omega 3 is found in foods like salmon and soybeans.
• Folic acid. Studies have shown that people who experience frequent anxiety often have low levels of folic acid, so make sure to get enough of it each week. Leafy greens are a great source of this nutrient.
• Protein. Keep your energy levels up by consuming protein from eggs, fish, turkey breast, tofu, or other sources. Balance your protein intake with carbohydrates.
• Be cautious with fruit juices and cocktails. Only a few packaged fruit juices are made from 100% fruit juice, and most contain added sugars or other ingredients your body doesn’t need. These drinks also lack the nutrients and chemical compounds found in whole fruits, so they may not improve your mood and could even make you feel worse.

Incorporate herbs, vitamins, and supplements into your daily diet. Certain herbs, vitamins, and supplements may help improve your mood, though it's important to note that experts haven't reached a consensus on the positive effects of these products. It's best to consult your doctor before using any supplements. Here are some ways to use herbs and supplements to enhance your mood:

• Use St. John's Wort. This popular herb is known for its mood-enhancing properties. The yellow-flowered plant contains compounds that have medicinal effects. Remember, you must consult your doctor before using this herb, as it can interact negatively with medications such as birth control pills, anti-anxiety drugs, blood thinners, and HIV treatments. St. John's Wort is available in various forms, including capsules, tablets, extracts, and tea. Your doctor or specialist can advise you on the proper dosage, which typically ranges from 900 to 1200 mg daily, with results often seen after 1 to 3 months of use.
• Try SAMe (S-Adenosyl-L-Methionine), a derivative of the amino acid that is commonly available as a protein supplement. This compound has been extensively researched for its mood-boosting effects and is widely used in Europe. SAMe supplements typically come in tablet form, with a usual dosage for anxiety sufferers ranging from 800 to 1600 mg per day for a period of 6 weeks. Be aware that SAMe can have side effects, especially if you have preexisting conditions like diabetes, hypoglycemia, or anxiety disorders.
• Other herbs and vitamins may also help with mood management, though they are not as effective as St. John's Wort and SAMe. For example, lavender is commonly used in essential oils, teas, and aromatherapy to induce relaxation and reduce anxiety. Many people find that valerian root helps them sleep better and manage anxiety. You might also consider taking a multivitamin to ensure you're getting enough vitamin B, which supports the balance of your nerve cell membranes. A study has shown the positive effects of vitamin D in treating seasonal depression, although more research is needed to fully confirm its impact.

The causes of mood swings can stem from various sources. Everyone experiences ups and downs in their mood. A rough day at work or a disagreement with a friend could be the reason behind a temporary mood shift. However, if you find that your mood fluctuates frequently and intensely (where your emotions can shift rapidly from high to low), and you cannot pinpoint a clear cause (for instance, having a happy day with no apparent issues or conflicts), it may indicate an underlying psychological or physiological condition.

• If you feel frustrated, easily irritated, or struggle to complete tasks, these might be signs that you need to address certain underlying issues.
• It's important to recognize that many psychological and physiological conditions are linked to severe mood swings. Therefore, speaking with a doctor, healthcare provider, or psychologist can help determine whether you have an underlying mental health condition. Identifying the precise cause of your mood swings will allow you to find the best approach to manage and regulate your emotions effectively.

Recognizing physiological conditions that may cause emotional changes. There are various physiological states known to influence mood changes. These are conditions stemming from factors such as lifestyle, age, hormonal imbalances, and medication side effects. A medical professional, such as a general practitioner, would be the best person to consult for more information about these conditions and to evaluate their connection to your mood fluctuations. Some common physiological conditions that could contribute to emotional changes include:

• Head injuries or brain tumors – Damage to certain parts of the brain can interfere with hormonal regulation in the body, resulting in negative impacts on mood and emotions. If you suspect you’ve had a severe head injury or think you may have a brain tumor, it’s important to see a doctor immediately.
• Entertainment media content – The music we listen to or what we watch on TV can easily influence our mood. In extreme cases, it can make individuals feel nauseous, faint, angry, or hostile rapidly. Flashing red lights, for instance, may trigger seizures in some people. Many individuals also feel irritated after watching television shows or movies that involve abnormal activities or spiritual themes.
• Allergies – Allergies can cause sudden mood shifts. Any triggers, such as specific places, sounds, or smells, can quickly transform a calm demeanor into anxiety.
• Artificial fragrances – Many chemicals used in cleaning products, candles, waxes, soaps, and even perfumes can cause allergic reactions, leading to emotional changes. Examples of these chemicals include benzene derivatives, aldehyde derivatives, phthalates, and toxins disguised under the general term “fragrance.” These substances are known to disrupt the nervous system and can not only affect your mood but also contribute to mental health issues.
• Poisoning from foreign objects – Chemicals found in food, building materials, insect repellents, and animal fur can disturb your emotional stability. Lead and other brain-affecting chemicals are key culprits. Doctors can use various methods to determine if your mood changes are linked to foreign substances, and medications can cause similar problems.
• Dementia – Dementia is caused by sudden mental and physiological changes, which in turn can lead to significant emotional fluctuations. If you are over 40 and experience severe memory loss, it’s critical to consult a doctor immediately.
• Pregnancy – Pregnancy can cause both immediate and long-lasting changes in hormone levels and brain chemistry, significantly impacting emotions and mood. Even after a miscarriage or abortion, mood changes may persist due to hormonal and physiological shifts related to pregnancy. Seek medical advice if you’re struggling to control your mood and suspect you may be pregnant.
• Puberty – If you are entering adolescence, the rapid changes in your body may affect your mood and desires. Understanding these changes as part of natural development is important. However, if your mood swings are severe, leading to self-harm or harm to others, you should seek advice from a healthcare professional.
• Menopause – Similar to other life stages, menopause can cause significant mood changes and alterations in desires and influences. If these changes become uncontrollable, seeing a doctor is highly recommended.
• Chronic stress – Long-term pressure from daily life can eventually lead to overwhelming stress, which can cause mood swings. It’s best to address sources of stress early to minimize long-term biochemical changes in the brain.
• Illness or infections – Feeling unwell due to a cold or severe infection can negatively affect your mental health. When sick, your mood can easily shift.

Understanding how physiological and social conditions can affect mood. Research has shown that certain psychological and/or social conditions are linked to sudden changes in temperament and mood. These changes are often driven by biological factors, similar to those mentioned earlier, but must also be evaluated in terms of the psychological and social needs connected to your daily life. To assess whether these conditions are influencing your emotional changes, you should seek the help of a psychologist or a mental health expert, such as a treating physician or counselor. Below are some psychological and social conditions that may impact your mood:

• Substance abuse – The misuse of any addictive substances or stimulants can unpredictably alter hormone levels and biochemical reactions in the brain. If you’ve faced such issues in the past or are currently dealing with them, there's no reason not to reach out for help from medical professionals or support groups.
• Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) – These psychological disorders, which are characterized by an inability to concentrate, are often associated with mood instability and emotional changes.
• Bipolar disorder – Bipolar disorder is marked by rapid emotional shifts in response to situations that wouldn’t normally trigger such reactions, especially extreme mood swings between intense happiness and deep misery. Someone with bipolar disorder may become extremely joyful and happy after a compliment, but moments later could become angry with the very person who praised them. Only trained mental health professionals can accurately diagnose whether someone has bipolar disorder or another condition.
• Depression – Chronic depression can lead to mood changes, whether positive or negative. If you’ve experienced depression and suddenly feel cheerful or excited, it’s important to pay attention to these emotional changes, as they could reveal more about the relationship between mood swings, depression, and your everyday life.
• Grief – The loss of a loved one can trigger unexpected and exaggerated emotional reactions to situations that previously wouldn’t have affected you. For some, this heightened emotional response is a constant companion when grieving. However, if these mood swings become uncontrollable or dangerous, it’s crucial to speak to a doctor or mental health expert to find ways to address the issue. An example of this might be the loss of a child through miscarriage. The stress and grief from losing the child can lead to overwhelming emotions, including changes that may not be immediately visible or understood.
• Obsessions – Everyone has their own fears and obsessions. You may experience sudden emotional changes, with your mood shifting to fear when confronted by something that triggers these persistent concerns.
• Trauma – Many people who have experienced traumatic events, such as abuse, assault, or being involved in a crime, can become extremely angry when discussing issues related to what they’ve been through. Veterans or survivors of catastrophic events may also experience deep sorrow and sadness in response to reminders of their experiences.
• Stress from significant life changes – Events like moving homes, changing jobs, or having children can lead to unforeseen psychological shifts. If, after such events, you find yourself facing emotional instability, it’s completely normal. However, as previously mentioned, if your emotional reactions are unmanageable, seeking advice from a specialist is highly recommended to get a proper diagnosis of potential psychological or physiological issues.

Seek professional help based on your condition. If you find yourself experiencing any of the physiological or psychological conditions mentioned above, it is important to speak with a professional. If the issue arises in your workplace, consider consulting your family doctor. If you suspect a psychological issue is consistently affecting your emotions, it is best to meet with a mental health expert (sometimes you may need a referral from your family doctor).

• If you feel powerless or like a puppet to your emotional changes, it's crucial to meet and discuss with a specialist.
• This doesn’t mean that doctors or medication are always the answer when facing emotional instability. However, if the problem is moderate to severe, it's recommended that you seek help from multiple sources before trying to cope on your own. Many people diagnosed with mood disorders have been able to improve their condition without medication.

• Emotional instability can arise from many different factors. In fact, our mood fluctuates daily depending on the events of the day. However, if you experience frequent mood imbalances, it could indicate a physiological and/or psychological issue. It’s advisable to consult with a doctor if you are dealing with this issue regularly without a clear cause.