Buzz
Do you want to attend a party or go out with your friends, but your mom says no? Don't give up! If you stay calm and follow the suggestions below, your mom will soon agree with you.
Steps
Prove to your mom that you're trustworthy
Be honest about your plans. A mother’s biggest fear is that her child might get hurt, which is why moms tend to say 'no' when you want to do something. However, if you want to change her mind, all you need to do is tell your mom the entire plan and reassure her that there’s nothing to worry about. Share the details, like how safe it is and how you’ve gathered all the necessary information. Once your mom realizes there’s no real danger, she might just agree!
- Always understand what you're talking about. For instance, if you're discussing a movie, be aware of its rating (G, PG, PG-13, R, NC-17). If you're underage and want to see an adult movie, don’t mention the title unless your mom asks. Simply state the genre, like comedy or thriller.
Be enthusiastic about what you want. Tell your mom how what you want to do will benefit your life. If you want to attend a concert, say it will give you a valuable life experience. If you want to stay up late, explain that you’ll be using the time productively. If you want more time with your friends, remind her that life needs enjoyment. If you want new shoes, show her how worn-out your old pair is.
Don’t lie about what you're doing. A lie might work the first time, but once your mom catches on, she’ll say 'no' next time. You don’t have to tell her the full truth—just leave out unnecessary details. The next time you want to do something, don’t hesitate to ask for permission instead of hiding the truth!
Assure your mom that you’ll be home on time. How you plan to get home is very important. Let her know your exact plan and the time you’ll be back. You can remind her of previous times when you’ve come home on time without any issues.
Have a backup plan for any emergencies. Moms always want their kids to be prepared. Think about potential scenarios and reassure your mom that you have a contingency plan. For example, if a friend leaves early, you should have an alternative plan to get home.
Remind her of the times you’ve earned her trust. If you've done things that earned her trust, remind her. You can mention how hard you’ve studied, done household chores, always returned home on time, and never complained about household tasks. If you’ve lost her trust, work hard to regain it by following her instructions for at least a week before asking for something.
Remind your mom that you only live once. Say something like, "Mom, do you remember the concert that changed your life? You were the same age as I am now back then." Tell her that youth passes quickly, and you only have a limited number of chances to enjoy yourself before you grow up and become independent. Your mom will likely start feeling emotional and nostalgic, and she may soon 'agree' with you.
Prove to your mom that you deserve it.
Study well at school. If you consistently do your homework and get high grades, then what's the reason your mom would reject you? Clearly, she won't have any reason to oppose you. Work hard and get involved in extracurricular activities so your mom can see that you deserve the reward you're asking for.
Help with household chores. Clean the house, wash the dishes, mow the lawn, walk the dog, and do other chores. If you're asking for something important, you'll need to do extra work around the house. You should go above and beyond the expectations for a few weeks before asking your mom for something.
Be home on time. Being reliable is key. If you lie and keep coming home late, your mom will probably refuse you when you ask for something. Try to be punctual as promised and be someone she can trust. If you promise to clean your room on Saturday, follow through. If you say you'll feed the cat, do it without her reminding you. Your mom will notice how dependable you are.
Cook or bake something. Your mom will be thrilled if you surprise her by handling the cooking and preparing something for the whole family. Wake up early to make scrambled eggs and pancakes for breakfast, or use your free time in the afternoon to bake a sponge cake or cookies for everyone. It may seem unusual, but it works wonders. Just remember to clean up thoroughly after cooking.
Become genuinely lovable. Ask your mom about her day. She probably asks about yours all the time, so why not flip the script and see what happens? Your mom will be touched, and chances are, she'll agree with you. You can take it a step further by sharing what's going on with you and telling her your thoughts. You might be surprised when your mom encourages you to make your own decisions.
Prove to your mom that you've grown up.
Earn money to buy what you want. If you're hoping to see a movie or buy a new game or toy, offer to do some chores around the house to earn money. Your mom will be impressed with your suggestion and more likely to agree.
Compromise if needed. Let's say you really want to attend a party, but your mom keeps saying no because she doesn't want you out late. Why not promise to come home an hour earlier? If things go well, next time she might allow you to go out at night as you wish.
Don't say, 'Everyone else is doing it.' Kids often use this excuse, but does it always work? Moms aren't usually swayed by what everyone else is doing. Only use this argument if everyone is actually doing it, and be ready with a list of people your mom trusts. It might help to let your friends know in advance so they can back you up if your mom says she will call them or their parents.
Don't beg. This will only make you seem immature, and your mom will feel justified in saying 'no.' You need to provide a valid reason for her to agree, and begging will only make her uncomfortable. If you can't convince her to say 'yes' directly, perhaps your mom will be moved by guilt. Try saying, 'It's okay, I love you,' and walk away. She may change her mind since you handled the situation maturely.
Make your mom laugh. Keep things light by joking or teasing her to make her laugh. Even if you're disappointed by her 'no,' a well-timed joke could change her perspective. It shows that you don't view the situation as catastrophic and won't throw a tantrum like a child. A good mood might just convince her to reconsider.
Don't forget to say 'I love you, Mom.' These three words will make your mom happy. Don't just pretend – say 'I love you' when you mean it, even if you're frustrated. Never underestimate the power of these sacred words!
If all else fails, ask your dad. If you can convince him, he might help sway your mom's opinion. However, remember this tactic doesn't always work because, in some families, it's the mom who makes the final decision.
Advice
- Try to complete all tasks your parents ask of you.
- Understand that your mom likely knows what's best for you; don’t rebel if she stops you from doing something that isn’t good for you.
- Spend as much time as possible with your mom.
- Tell her she's the best mom, that she's always caring, fair, and kind.
- If your mom cares about grades, bring home high marks, even if they’re just from a verbal test. Act like it's a major achievement.
- Know how to defend yourself if an argument begins.
- Always tell your mom what you love about her; it will show her that you truly care.
- Don’t push too far. If you do, your parents might get upset and lose trust in you, which means they won’t let you go anywhere. Be cautious.
- Don’t whine; it will only make your mom angry and she won’t let you do what you want.
- Make sure to be polite and say thank you, but once you get what you want, don’t act disrespectful. Don’t forget to be charming when you ask for something; your parents will notice!
- Don’t keep asking after your mom has answered. Do your chores, help with little things, wait a few days, then ask again. But don’t let it show that you’re only helping because you want something in return.
- If your mom keeps saying no, try asking your dad. However, this could lead to a conflict between your parents or you.
- No matter how angry or frustrated you feel, don’t throw a tantrum. It will just make you look immature and give your mom another reason to say no.
- Remind your mom about promises she made to reward you.
Warning
- Don’t treat your mom well only when you want something. Not only will this upset her, but after a while, she’ll start to notice the pattern.
- Never beg, especially in front of a friend, because many parents think you're 'putting them in an awkward situation.'
- Never lie, you will lose your mom's trust.
- Don’t interrupt, or your mom will get mad.
- Make sure your mom is in a good mood before you ask for something.
- Keep your promises to your mom.
- Don’t make your mom argue or fight. This will only make things worse.
- Be ready to compromise to get your mom to agree with you.
