How to Convince Your Parents to Let You Hang Out with Friends

Whether you plan to visit the mall with friends in the afternoon or attend an upcoming event, you must first ask for your parents' permission. This is especially important if your parents are conservative; you should have a clear strategy in place. Do your research and prepare to negotiate with them respectfully to get what you want.

Ask When Your Parents Are Available to Talk. Be mindful of timing to make sure your parents will allow you to go out with your friends. Find a moment when they have a few minutes to sit down and discuss your plans. You need to choose a time that fits their schedule, not just yours.

• If your family usually has dinner together, this can be a great time to ask. Or, if your family enjoys relaxing on Sunday afternoons, that can also be the perfect moment for a conversation.
• Plan ahead for major events. If you want permission to attend a concert in a few weeks, don't wait until the last minute. Parents appreciate preparation, especially when money and transportation are involved.
• Last-minute requests are unlikely to be approved, but sometimes, you might be allowed to visit a friend's house if you present it unexpectedly.

Make sure they are in a good mood before you bring up your plans. Your parents are more likely to deny your request if they are stressed or tired. Wait until the tension has passed, and then ask if you can hang out with your friends.

• Remember that you are not in trouble or grounded before asking for permission.
• You should try to get out of any punishment before hoping they will let you do anything else.
• The best time to ask is when you’ve finished your homework and weekly chores. Or, to make your request more appealing, you could complete tasks after dinner cleanup.

Be patient while waiting for your parents to have time to talk. Constantly bothering them will only make your request more likely to be rejected. Parents who are angry won’t be easy to convince, and pushing them too hard will get you into trouble. You should give them a few days to think about your request.

Coordinate with your family’s schedule. No matter what your plans are, it’s best to try to arrange everything around your family’s daily routine. Avoid asking to discuss important plans on days when they’re busy with household tasks. Instead, wait until everyone is home and enjoying the evening so they have time to talk about your request.

• For example, if your mom is about to take your sibling to soccer practice, you could ask if she could take you to the nearby mall afterward, as it’s on the same route.
• Coordinate your plans with your parents’ schedule. Try not to ask for rides too often, and think about how you can combine your trips around town.
• Avoid asking to skip family events to hang out with friends. Adding more stress to your parents’ responsibilities will make them less likely to agree in the future.

Be prepared to argue your case. Have all the details ready when your parents are available to talk. The more information you provide, the better your argument will be.

• Tell your parents where you’ll be going, who you’ll be with, how long you’ll be out, and what you’ll be doing.
• Be completely honest with them throughout the discussion. If they catch you lying, you will lose their trust.
• You need to provide as much information as possible. Find out in advance whether you need transportation, will be spending money, or if you need to make reservations for a scheduled event.
• Start with small requests and gradually work up to bigger ones. Before asking for permission to go on a week-long trip, try asking to spend the night at a friend’s house. They’ll see that you can handle smaller issues and will trust you more for longer trips.

Explain why you want to go. Whether it’s not wanting to miss out on the big camping trip of the year or a major sale at the mall, you might feel it's obvious. But your parents won’t understand why it’s such a big deal, so you’ll need to clearly explain yourself when you ask for permission. Let them know why this opportunity excites you.

• If the event is educational, make sure to mention it, as your parents will want you to succeed academically.

Tell your parents what they want to hear. They care about you, your safety, and want the best for you. Reassure them that the place you’re going is safe and that you’re not planning any dangerous or illegal activities. Promise to take your phone charger and keep in regular contact while you’re out.

• Let them know about any adults who will be with you so they can feel confident you’re in good hands.
• Even if they trust you, telling them that you’re responsible will help ease their minds.

Stay calm while discussing your plans. Getting emotional or raising your voice will only show them that you’re still too immature to go out. You can express your excitement, but don’t let it turn into frustration if things don’t go your way. You still have a chance to convince them, so don’t ruin it by losing your cool.

• Even if it looks like your parents will say no, do your best to avoid yelling, screaming, or crying out of disappointment.
• Avoid threats or demands. You won’t convince your parents by threatening to refuse to do your chores unless they let you go out. You’ll just get into more trouble.

Give them time to think about everything. After presenting your plan, give your parents some time to think it over. For example, you can say, 'Thanks for listening, Mom/Dad. If you need some time to think about your decision, I completely understand.' This will show them that you’re being patient and mature, even if all you really want is some time to play video games at a friend’s house.

Only involve your siblings when necessary. You can say you’ll bring along your brother or sister if your parents are hesitant about letting you go. Sometimes, involving your sibling can help convince them that you’ll behave responsibly.

• Your siblings tend to report everything back to your parents, which could work in your favor when negotiating, as your parents will feel more at ease if you’re with them.
• However, remember to act responsibly when they’re with you, as they could still report back to your parents.

Accept failure to achieve future success. Even if your parents refuse, there’s still something to be gained. Thank them for taking the time to talk with you and avoid getting angry or shouting at them. If you show maturity and empathy even when they say no, the next time you ask for something, they will be impressed by your behavior and may say yes.

Complete all chores and homework beforehand. Make an effort to clean your room and finish any class projects before asking your parents for permission. Don’t give them any reason to doubt you—just do everything to impress them with your excellent time management skills.

• If you don’t have time to finish everything before asking, promise to complete all your responsibilities before going out.

Allow your parents to talk to your friends or the chaperone. It’s likely that your parents will want to know if there’s any adult supervision when you hang out with friends. Offer them the chance to call and talk to the other parents. Let them know you’ll have someone looking out for you to reassure them that you’ll be safe.

• If there’s no adult accompanying you, don’t lie to your parents. They’ll eventually find out the truth.

Give your parents a chance to meet your friends. If they’ve never met the people you’ll be hanging out with, they may be hesitant. You should invite your friends over to your house first so your parents can get to know them. This way, when you ask to go out, they’ll feel more comfortable and trust the people you’ll be with.

Flatter your parents. A few well-chosen compliments that maintain respect can yield positive results. While waiting for permission, you can express your gratitude with a small note or simply by telling them how thankful you are. Maintaining the best behavior helps, but it doesn’t hurt to take actions like bringing flowers home for your mom or saving the last piece of cake for your dad.

• Be subtle and not too obvious. Parents will recognize if you’re using flattery just to get something from them.
• Don't overdo it. You can flatter your parents, but don’t go so far that they think you’re being insincere.

Propose to take on extra chores around the house. Take on a few tasks outside of your regular duties. Wash the car for your parents, mow the lawn before they ask, or help them prepare dinner for a few nights to please them. By taking on some of their work, you allow them to relax, which puts them in a better mood to grant your request to go out.

Show your appreciation immediately after. You should express your gratitude if your parents allow you to hang out with your friends. Even if they say no, you should still thank them. Remember that your parents want you to be happy, but they also want what’s best for you. Appreciate their love and protection, no matter what.

• Throughout the process of convincing your parents, you must be completely honest both during this time and when you go out.
• Breaking their trust is the quickest way to get grounded and ruin your future plans.