Buzz
Our personalities are made up of the distinct patterns of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Developing an outstanding personality isn't about imitating others, but rather about recognizing your own unique qualities and showcasing them for the world to see. There are always ways to improve, but the key is being comfortable in your own skin. When you admire someone with a great personality, it's often because they are authentic and content, not because they’ve consciously worked on their personality. Be genuine!
Important Insights
Someone with an exceptional personality embodies qualities like compassion, positivity, calmness, and optimism. Life coach Karuna Jain, MS, suggests that to enhance your personality, you should “start with self-transformation… If you can show compassion for yourself, you’ll be able to extend that same compassion to others.”
Guidelines
Refining Your Inner Personality
Always be truthful with yourself. Awkward moments are part of life, but don’t pretend to be someone you're not. When meeting new people, don’t stress about finding common ground—just engage in light conversation, stay friendly, and ask questions.
- For instance, if you're at a party hoping to make friends, and you end up talking to someone you don’t enjoy conversing with, simply be polite and gracefully end the conversation! There's no need to pretend to like it.
Stay Positive. Focus on the positive, maintain an optimistic outlook, and smile. A happy person is irresistible. However, this doesn’t mean you should fake happiness—if something is truly bothering you, don’t feel compelled to smile through it. Just make an effort to find the good in situations and let people see the joy in your personality.
- Avoid comparing yourself to others, as it can lead to negativity and hinder your happiness.
Don't chase popularity. If everything you do is to gain others' approval, it's not going to work in your favor. The key is building a reliable group of friends who value you, and whom you truly care about. Don’t rush to collect friends for the sake of numbers. Focus on those who genuinely make your time enjoyable. Whether that’s a handful or a larger group, that’s perfectly fine.
Explore your passions. One essential trait of a good personality is having interesting things to talk about. This doesn’t mean you need to dive into advanced topics like astrophysics; it simply means you need to have personal interests. When you’re passionate about something, sharing it with others will be engaging and exciting. It doesn’t matter what your interests are—just try reading, watching films, or exploring new hobbies. Immerse yourself in life’s many experiences and see where it takes you!
Form your own opinions. This is closely linked to developing your interests. When conversing with others, it's important to have topics that matter to you. Whether it’s politics, sports, animals, or parenting, develop an opinion on the subjects that interest you. Don’t worry about always agreeing with others, as long as you maintain a respectful conversation. People will appreciate someone who confidently shares their views.
- Having your own opinion makes conversations more engaging. If someone says something you disagree with, don’t hesitate to share your perspective respectfully. They’re likely to find you more interesting than if you just nod along.
- Write down the traits in others that you admire, and aim to incorporate them into your own personality.
Projecting Your Personality Externally
Ask questions and show genuine interest in others. This is a simple yet rewarding habit to cultivate. People love talking about themselves, and if you’re curious, you’ll always find something intriguing about them. Imagine you’re a metal detector on a beach—keep asking questions until you discover what they’re most passionate about, whether it's their work, family, or children. Knowing what excites them will lead to valuable and engaging conversations.
- For example, if you meet someone, try to uncover what makes them unique. This doesn’t mean a constant barrage of questions, but rather balancing your own stories with their responses. If you both share an interest in mountain biking, for example, don’t boast about your skills—ask them about their experience.
Exude confidence. Confidence can come in many forms, and you don’t need to be someone you’re not. Being confident doesn’t require you to suddenly become outgoing and talkative. Remind yourself every day that you are incredible. Own the personality you have, and others will be drawn to you. Authenticity is far more appealing than faking it.
- Practice vulnerability by expressing your fears and desires without the fear of judgment. This helps build stronger social connections.
Stay lighthearted and humorous. People will appreciate your ability to bring fun into their lives. Avoid making jokes at the expense of others—focus on keeping a positive attitude. When faced with challenges, laugh with others instead of complaining. This will not only make those around you feel good but also boost your own happiness in the process.
Be kind. This is the most essential step. Regardless of who you are, if you are kind, the only reason someone could dislike you is out of jealousy. Never be rude to others. If someone is unkind to you, try to understand what might be driving their behavior. Perhaps they are facing difficult circumstances, and deep down, they are a kind person. Always assume the best in people. It’s okay to be cautious, but there’s no reason to treat anyone poorly.
Stay calm, cool, and composed. Always remember to maintain your composure. This will earn you immense respect, especially when you remain calm in situations where others panic. Approach things as they come, avoiding extreme highs and lows. This is a skill you can develop consciously, and people will admire your ability to stay level-headed.
- For instance, if something bad happens, try to make others feel at ease by lightening the mood. If your teacher postpones a deadline, don’t complain—make a joke to ease the tension!
Stay open to new connections. Don’t rush to judge others or assume that you already have all the friends you need. Even if someone seems like someone you wouldn’t normally connect with, give them a chance. After all, that’s what you would want in return. The golden rule applies—treat others how you wish to be treated. Don’t focus on making friends with those who are more popular or can help you get ahead. Instead, approach each person individually and surround yourself with people you truly enjoy. Always stay open to forming new friendships and relationships.
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Reader Poll: We surveyed 1,034 Mytour readers about their biggest concerns when building a friendship with someone special. Only 10% of them mentioned the fear of revealing more about themselves. [Take Poll]
- If you’re eager to learn more about a new friend, don’t hesitate to share a little more about who you really are.
Examples of How to Build a Great Personality
Displaying a Great Personality Externally
Fun Ways to Be Around
Things People with Amazing Personalities Steer Clear OfEngage in the Conversation...
Okay, I get it, nobody's perfect, but there are definitely certain traits that make someone a "good" or "decent" person. I believe that my friends and I fit into that category, but I’d love to know what qualities others think are essential for being a good person too.
Jeffrey Fermin
Expert in Employee Relations
Expert in Employee Relations
Here are some qualities I consider essential for being a "good person":
• Self-awareness and Confidence: You know your worth, recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and possess a quiet confidence that is not boastful.
• Integrity and Honesty: You stand by your word, prioritize trust, and always strive for honesty, even when it’s hard or inconvenient.
• Ambition and Purpose: You’re driven by a clear purpose or vision. You set goals and work hard to achieve them.
• Emotional Intelligence: You’re able to understand, express, and manage your emotions, as well as empathize with others. You seek direct communication and conflict resolution.
• Respect for Others: You treat everyone around you with kindness and respect, regardless of their background.
Embracing and nurturing these qualities leads to personal growth and lays the foundation for meaningful relationships and success in all areas of life.
• Self-awareness and Confidence: You know your worth, recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and possess a quiet confidence that is not boastful.
• Integrity and Honesty: You stand by your word, prioritize trust, and always strive for honesty, even when it’s hard or inconvenient.
• Ambition and Purpose: You’re driven by a clear purpose or vision. You set goals and work hard to achieve them.
• Emotional Intelligence: You’re able to understand, express, and manage your emotions, as well as empathize with others. You seek direct communication and conflict resolution.
• Respect for Others: You treat everyone around you with kindness and respect, regardless of their background.
Embracing and nurturing these qualities leads to personal growth and lays the foundation for meaningful relationships and success in all areas of life.
Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Since perfection doesn’t exist, a good person is someone who can honestly acknowledge their flaws and mistakes. This is the key to being trustworthy and accountable to others, while also continuing to grow. Those who cannot admit their own errors tend to blame others for their issues and show immaturity in various aspects of life.
We can’t improve what we won’t acknowledge, so being able to honestly recognize areas for growth is essential for a good person.
We can’t improve what we won’t acknowledge, so being able to honestly recognize areas for growth is essential for a good person.
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Read DiscussionMaster Charisma with this Expert Series
1
Develop a Great Personality
2
Cultivate an Attractive Personality
3
Make Your Personality Shine
4
Be Likeable
5
Make People Enjoy Being Around You
6
Refine Your Personality
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Don't pretend to be someone you're not.
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Discover things you truly enjoy. This is an essential aspect of developing a great personality. Find your passions!
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Don’t become too self-absorbed. Avoid showing off or seeking attention in negative ways.
The insights in this section come from the real-life experiences of Mytour readers like yourself. If you have valuable advice to share, please submit it below.
- Being authentic is crucial — trying to mimic others often feels insincere. Focus on nurturing your own interests and forming your own opinions.
- Maintain a positive attitude when possible. People gravitate towards those with a cheerful demeanor, but remember, don’t suppress your true emotions.
- Having a wide range of interests provides plenty of topics to discuss. Read, watch films, try new hobbies — all of this helps you become more well-rounded.
- Show kindness to everyone; this reveals strong character. You never know what someone else is going through, so give them the benefit of the doubt.
- Engage others by asking questions about their lives. Letting them talk about themselves can make them feel appreciated. Just be sure to share about yourself as well.
- Building a few genuine friendships is more fulfilling than trying to impress large crowds. It’s about quality, not quantity.
