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It's common for teens to be labeled as immature by their parents or older peers. This can lead you to want to grow more mature. While maturity typically comes with age, you may not experience true maturity until you've gone through a variety of life events. Nonetheless, if you're looking to present yourself as more mature, there are several areas you can focus on. Work on enhancing your behavior, emotional responses, intellectual capacity, and communication style to become more mature in the eyes of others.
Steps
Developing Emotional Maturity
Don’t project your emotions onto others. To mature, you'll need to manage the negative emotions you may encounter, like anger, disappointment, or embarrassment. Yelling or swearing at others when you're upset won't make you seem mature. Instead, find healthy outlets to release and express your feelings.
- Start by identifying the cause of your emotions. Ask yourself: what led to this, how does it physically feel in your body, and what name would you give this emotion?
- Then, figure out how you can express your emotions without causing harm to yourself or others. You might journal your thoughts, get some exercise to blow off steam, or listen to music that matches your mood.
Own up to your actions. When you make a mistake, blaming others or making excuses won’t help. Shifting the blame can damage your relationships, and you won’t grow if you don’t face the consequences of your actions.
- Take responsibility right away when you slip up. Acknowledge it with something like “My bad” or “That was on me.” If you've hurt someone, offer an apology, and then figure out how to make things right.
- For example, if you accidentally left the back door open and your cat got out, own up to it by saying, “Sorry, I left the back door open. I’ll go ask the neighbors if they’ve seen the cat.”
Pause before you act. Maturity involves considering the impact of your decisions. Before speaking or acting, take a moment to think about the possible outcomes. Acting impulsively may feel good in the moment, but it can lead to regret later.
- To avoid reacting without thinking, pause before you speak or act. Take a few deep breaths.
- Ask yourself: “What is my conscience telling me? Will this hurt me or anyone else? How will I feel if I do this, and how will I feel later?”
- For instance, if a friend asks you to skip class, pause and think it through. Maybe you just want to hang out, but consider the consequences—getting caught could lead to trouble with your school and parents.
- By practicing this kind of thoughtful decision-making, you’ll make better choices in the future.
Learn to appreciate what you have. Adults are more likely to admire you when you show gratitude for the things in your life. Try to focus on what you have rather than what you lack.
- At the end of each day, write down three positive things that happened. Reflect on these moments, and try to really feel the good vibes that came with them.
Acting Appropriately
Respect the rules. If you want to be seen as mature, you need to follow the rules set by authority figures. Whether you’re at home, school, or work, there will be guidelines to help keep you and others safe, and you should respect them.
- It’s natural for teens to push against authority from time to time, but if you want to have a respectful conversation about rules, argue your point calmly. This way, the adult is more likely to hear you out.
- For example, you could say, “Mom, Dad, I’m 15 now and I feel like I deserve a later curfew. I always get home on time and stay out of trouble. What do you think?”
Take on leadership roles. One of the best ways to showcase maturity is by taking responsibility in various areas of your life. Get involved in class activities, develop strong study habits, and participate in extracurriculars. If your schedule allows, consider running for a leadership position in a club or even taking on a part-time job.
Be accountable and take responsibility. Always follow through with your promises and handle your tasks independently as much as possible. If you find yourself in trouble, own up to it and accept the consequences that follow. By being accountable for your actions, you demonstrate maturity to those around you, including your parents.
- For example, if your friends invite you to a sleepover but you've already committed to babysitting your younger siblings, respectfully decline. It may be tough, but maturity means honoring your commitments and proving you can be relied upon.
Practice good manners. Using polite manners is a sign of respect, and it can help adults see you as more mature. Good manners include things like saying “yes, sir/ma’am,” answering the phone with “hello,” not interrupting conversations, chewing with your mouth closed, and holding the door open for others.
- Although many manners may have already been taught to you, don't hesitate to ask adults, “How can I show better manners?” to learn even more.
Pick up after yourself. Mature individuals don’t rely on others to clean up their messes. If you want to be more mature, it’s time to start taking responsibility for your own space. This means putting your dishes away after eating, wiping up spills, and returning items like games, movies, or books to their proper places.
- Keep your room organized by throwing dirty clothes in the laundry and putting away clean ones in drawers or closets. Make your bed first thing in the morning, and hang your book bag on a hook to avoid clutter. Organize your shoes neatly under the bed or on shelves so no one trips over them.
- Set aside 20 minutes each day to do a quick room-cleaning session. Play some music to make it more fun and efficient.
Cultivate healthy and responsible habits. A mature teen knows how to avoid bad behaviors. Engaging in things like drinking alcohol, using drugs, lying, stealing, fighting, being reckless, or damaging property will only lead to trouble. Instead, stay away from such negative behaviors, buckle up when you're in a car, and steer clear of harmful influences around you.
Fostering Intellectual Growth
Stay up to date with current events. Stay informed about what's happening around you by reading newspapers and trustworthy online sources. Avoid depending on social media feeds for news. Take the initiative to find reliable sources of information and stay aware of global and local events.
- After learning about current events, engage in conversations with your parents or other adults. For example, ask, “What’s your opinion on the new bill the president just introduced, Dad?”
- Explore online platforms like CNN Student News, BBC News, or Smithsonian Tween Tribune. Start your day by reading the newspaper and check out academic journals from the library about topics that spark your interest.
Pick up a book. Whether you enjoy reading about real-world facts or fictional tales, books are a great way to expand your mind. Reading not only broadens your knowledge, but it also improves your vocabulary and enhances your comprehension and writing abilities. Moreover, it’s a great stress reliever.
- Go beyond the school reading list. To truly enjoy reading, choose books that align with your passions, like aviation or ancient history.
Exercise your critical thinking abilities. Critical thinking is the ability to approach problems thoughtfully, considering all options before acting. Instead of jumping to conclusions, spend time evaluating the situation from different perspectives. Developing critical thinking can help you assess consequences, judge the reliability of information, and think creatively.
- Playing board games is a fantastic way to sharpen critical thinking. Organize a game night with family or close friends. Some great choices are Apples to Apples and Scattergories.
EXPERT ADVICE
Our Family Plays Games
Board Game Enthusiasts
Board Game Enthusiasts
Board games boost brain activity. Playing board games encourages strategic thinking and problem-solving, engaging mental functions like memory, planning, and decision-making. Over time, this kind of mental exercise can enhance cognitive flexibility. Essentially, board games provide an enjoyable way to keep your brain sharp!
Speaking with Maturity
Speak effectively. Many teenagers and adolescents communicate in ways that confuse adults. To be seen as mature, it’s important to communicate clearly and in a way that others can easily understand. Avoid using abbreviations or slang. Always speak in full sentences with correct grammar.
- If you want to improve your conversational skills, ask your parents to practice role-playing different scenarios with you.
Practice active listening. Many teens think they have all the answers, so they don't listen to others. A true sign of maturity is recognizing that you can learn from everyone around you. Aim to listen more than you talk.
- A helpful guideline is to listen with the intention of understanding, not just to respond. Focus on grasping what the other person is conveying. Avoid interrupting or rushing to express your own thoughts. Let them finish, then try restating what you believe they said.
- For example, if your mom says, “I’ll be away this weekend and I’m worried about leaving you home alone. I think you should stay with the Woodards,” you might reply, “I understand you’re concerned about me being by myself. I agree. I’ll check with Pat’s parents to see if I can stay over.”
EXPERT INSIGHT
Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
If you’re unclear about what someone means, ask for clarification. Klare Heston, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, advises: “Work on being an active listener. To make sure you really understand what the other person is saying, try rephrasing their words and asking follow-up questions.”
Refrain from using slang or curse words. It's fine to use slang or trendy expressions among friends, but when speaking with adults, try to use language that is more formal and universally understood. Don't attempt to impress adults by using terms they might not recognize. Additionally, refrain from swearing, as it can come off as disrespectful.
The suggestions in this section come from the personal experiences of Mytour readers like you. If you have a useful tip you’d like to contribute to Mytour, feel free to share it in the space below.
- Be true to yourself! Younger teens may feel pressure to always act mature because they’re getting older, but it’s perfectly okay to embrace your inner kid when you need to.
- Consider writing down your reasons for wanting to be more mature. Later on, you can reflect on how your motivations and growth have evolved.
- While independence is empowering, don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it!
