Buzz
Dating a shorter guy may make some women feel a little uneasy. In such situations, it's essential to identify your priorities when entering a relationship with a guy who's shorter than you. Focus on what you appreciate about him, such as his personality and good looks, instead of fixating on what you don't like (his height).
Steps
Dating in the Early Stages
Don’t Use Height as a Filter. When dating online, don’t eliminate guys based on their height. You might miss out on someone who’s truly compatible with you just because he’s a few centimeters shorter than your preferred height. Avoid mentioning specific height preferences in your profile, as this could turn some people away.
- For instance, if you state your height or say, "I only like tall guys!", many men—even some great ones—might interpret this as a sign that you're not interested in them and may decide to give up.
- This also applies in real life. Don’t ignore a guy who wants to talk to you just because he’s a few centimeters shorter than you.
Consider your own worries. Many women prefer to be with a taller guy because they feel self-conscious about their own height. Dating someone taller helps them feel smaller and, in turn, more feminine. However, your self-worth shouldn't rely on the comparison between your body and his. You need to feel confident in your own body to feel secure in a relationship, even with a shorter guy.
- Reflect on why you might feel uncomfortable with someone shorter. Does he make you feel bigger? Do you feel awkward being taller than him? Take some time to explore your emotions.
- Try shifting your perspective. Being taller than your boyfriend doesn’t make you less feminine. Being shorter doesn’t turn him into a less masculine person. You are the one who defines whether you feel feminine (if that's what you want) or confident in your own personality.
- Take a moment in front of the mirror. For instance, say "I love my wavy hair." Building confidence in this way can help you overcome anxiety.
Mindset when dating. Avoid wearing high heels on your first date with a guy shorter than you. This doesn’t mean you should slouch to appear smaller—be honest about your height. However, don’t add extra height just to draw more attention to the height difference. Moreover, ignore any comments about the height gap unless he jokes about it first.
Don’t make fun of his height. Just as you wouldn’t appreciate jokes about being tall, he probably doesn’t enjoy hearing comments about being short. Avoid making jokes, especially early on in your relationship.
Challenge your biases. If you've only dated taller guys in the past, it might take some time to adjust your mindset, and that's perfectly fine. You may even date other shorter men during this process, as long as everyone understands you're not committed to anyone yet. Give yourself the time you need to get to know him and reassess your feelings about height.
- Remind yourself that his being shorter doesn’t take away from his masculinity, and your being taller doesn’t diminish your femininity.
Cher Gopman
Marriage and Relationship Expert
Marriage and Relationship Expert
Is height really an issue? Once you are in love, height doesn’t matter because you’ve already passed the test of being compatible with each other. If you start dating someone shorter, height becomes irrelevant because as you get to know him better, his personality will win you over.
Focus on the positive
Focus on what you love about him. If you’re worried about the height difference, you might be overly concerned with appearance. Instead, think about the things you love about him as a person, such as his charm, intelligence, or his kind heart. You can’t build a relationship based just on height, but you can nurture love based on his personality.
Notice how easy it is to kiss him. If you’re dating a guy much taller than you, you have to stretch to kiss him. When you’re with a shorter guy, closing the height gap is much easier, making kissing smoother. Pay attention when you say "goodnight," and you’ll realize how easily you can kiss him without stretching up.
Examine the data. Height certainly provides some advantages, so shorter guys have to work harder to gain an edge. This is actually a benefit for you because many studies show that shorter guys tend to do more housework compared to taller ones.
Appreciate how he highlights your height. Although at first, being taller than your boyfriend might make you feel big and awkward, try to look at it from another perspective. Most models are tall, so standing next to him actually makes you look like a model, not big or awkward.
Observe other happy couples. Even though the tall-girl, short-guy relationship is less common than the reverse, you can find many happy couples around the world who share a similar height difference to you and your boyfriend. Once you’ve observed a few couples (friends, a public couple, or celebrities), you’ll see that they don’t focus on the height difference. Instead, they only care about the love they share.
Face the height difference
Resolve not to let others make you feel bad about your height. When meeting new guys or hanging out with a shorter one, don’t feel like you need to hide your height. Most people find confidence attractive, so avoid slouching or hunching your back, as it will only make you seem embarrassed about your height. Instead, stand tall, make eye contact, and smile confidently.
- Of course, when dating someone, you may want to make the height difference less noticeable, but that’s entirely up to you.
Avoid wearing high heels. If you want to downplay the height difference, you should wear flat shoes most of the time instead of high heels. Another bonus is that your feet won’t hurt anymore! If you still want to wear heels, try a lower heel, around 10-12 cm.
Practice the "leaning" technique. One way to minimize height differences, especially when wearing high heels, is to lean slightly in one direction by pushing your hips out. You will need to lean on your partner for support. Avoid walking with slumped shoulders. Instead, walk naturally, and this could even make you appear taller than your partner.
