How to Date a Shorter Guy When You're a Taller Girl

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Ngày cập nhật gần nhất: 1/8/2025

Content

Early Dating Advice

Emphasizing the Positives

Managing Height Differences

Get More Dates with this Expert Series for Women

Being in a relationship with a shorter man might make some women feel uneasy. If this is your experience, it may help to reflect on your priorities in dating someone shorter. Instead of focusing on his height, try emphasizing the qualities you admire about him, such as his personality and physical attractiveness.

Steps

Early Dating Advice

Don't be restricted by filters. When dating online, avoid eliminating men based solely on their height. You might overlook someone who could be a great match for you simply because he's a few inches shorter than your ideal. It's a good idea not to mention a height preference in your profile, as this can turn off potential matches.

For example, if you highlight your own height or declare "Only tall guys!", many men may assume you're not interested in them and move on, even if they're great candidates.
Similarly, in person, don't disregard a man who approaches you for a conversation just because he's slightly shorter than you'd expect.

Address your insecurities. Many women feel pressured to be with someone taller due to insecurities about their own size. Being with a taller man can make them feel smaller and, in turn, more feminine. However, your self-worth shouldn't depend on comparing your body to his. To be comfortable in a relationship with a shorter guy, it's important to feel secure in your own body.

Reflect on why you're struggling with dating a shorter man. Does his height make you feel too big? Are you self-conscious about being taller? Take some time to understand your feelings.
Try shifting your perspective. Being taller than your boyfriend doesn't make you less feminine. It's not a bad thing to be taller than your partner. Only you can determine if you feel feminine (if that's important to you) or not.
Spend some time practicing self-affirmation. Stand in front of the mirror and say something positive, like "I love my hair’s natural flow." Building your self-confidence in this way can help alleviate insecurities.

Keep your cool on the date. When meeting a shorter guy for the first time, you may want to avoid wearing the highest heels. That doesn't mean you should shrink or hunch over—embrace your height. However, try not to highlight the height difference by adding extra inches. Also, unless he brings it up humorously, avoid making any comments about the height gap.

Refrain from making jokes about his height. Just as you likely don't appreciate jokes about being tall, he probably doesn't enjoy hearing jokes about his short stature. It's best to avoid making any comments, especially during the early stages of your relationship.

Examine your bias. If your dating history mainly consists of taller guys, adjusting to dating someone shorter might take some time, and that’s perfectly fine. Feel free to date other people during this period, as long as there’s mutual understanding that you're not in an exclusive relationship. Take your time to get to know him and process how you feel about his height.

Remember that his being shorter doesn’t change anything, and the same goes for vice versa.

EXPERT TIP

Cher Gopman

Cher Gopman
Relationship Expert

Does height matter? In a committed relationship, height is irrelevant because you've already passed the initial tests of compatibility. When you're considering dating someone shorter than you, height still doesn't matter, because as you get to know him, you may fall for his personality instead of focusing on physical attributes.

Emphasizing the Positives

Concentrate on his strengths. If you're fixated on the height difference, it suggests you're paying too much attention to outward appearances. Instead, focus on the qualities that attract you to him, such as his charisma, humor, intelligence, or kindness. A strong relationship is built on personality, not just physical traits.

Notice how easy it is to kiss him. When you're with a partner who's much taller, you have to stretch or strain to kiss him. However, with a shorter guy, you’ll find yourselves more aligned in height, making kissing more effortless. Take note when you say goodnight, and appreciate how simple it is to kiss him without having to stretch or strain your neck.

Consider the facts. Height does open some doors, but shorter men tend to have to work harder to succeed. This turns out to be beneficial for you because studies suggest that shorter guys often take on more household chores compared to taller men.

Appreciate how he enhances your height. At first, being taller than your boyfriend might make you feel awkward or out of place. But take a different perspective: many models are on the taller side, so standing next to him can make you appear more like a model, rather than feeling too tall or awkward.

Look at other content couples. While a taller woman and shorter man pairing isn't as common as the opposite (a short woman and tall man), you can find many happy couples whose height differences are similar to yours. Once you observe a few couples—whether they’re people you know, public couples, or even celebrities—you'll realize they don’t care much about the height difference. What truly matters is the love they share.

EXPERT TIP

John Keegan

John Keegan
Dating Specialist

Happiness is not tied to physical appearance. That's why it's crucial to focus on your distinctive traits, such as your charm and personality, instead of obsessing over your height. These qualities will help you find dates and build meaningful connections!

Managing Height Differences

Commit to not letting others make you feel bad about your height. Whether you're meeting new people or going out with someone shorter, you shouldn't feel the need to hide your height. Confidence is attractive, so don't slouch or shrink yourself. Instead, stand tall, make eye contact, and share a warm smile.

Of course, once you're in a relationship, you may want to adjust your height difference if it feels right for you, but that's entirely your choice.

Skip the heels. If you want to minimize the height difference, stick to flats most of the time rather than wearing high heels. Plus, your feet will thank you! If you still want to wear heels, opt for a shorter pair instead of the 4- to 5-inch options.

Master "the lean." A great way to balance out your height difference, especially when you're wearing heels, is to lean slightly to the side by sticking out a hip. Of course, you'll need something to lean on—like your boyfriend. The goal is to look relaxed and casual, without slouching, while achieving a more balanced height with him.