Buzz
When you have a domineering boss, it can be quite difficult to feel at ease and perform well. The good news is, even though it might feel helpless, you can still manage the situation. There are various methods you can use to get along with an overbearing boss, or even to bypass them to resolve the issue. Today, Mytour will compile a list of tools and strategies that could assist you in handling a difficult boss.
Steps
Keep a cool head.
Avoid reacting negatively. Keeping a cool head helps prevent negative reactions or frustration in response to your boss’s domineering behavior or words. No matter what, try not to get angry or walk away. Instead, focus on maintaining your composure as much as possible.
- Focusing on controlling your breath and taking deep breaths can help you stay calm.
Smile and respond with something positive.
Responding to a domineering attitude with kindness. Flash a bright smile and reply to your boss’s rude behavior with something positive. Only positive energy can effectively encourage them to adjust their actions.
- For example, if your boss says something like: “I really need you to finish this report twice as fast as usual,” you can reply: “No problem! This report will be my top priority.”
- Avoid being sarcastic with your boss. Focus on being positive and at ease.
Share their frustration.
Agreeing with your boss’s feelings can help balance an unfavorable situation. Show them that you understand their domineering behavior may stem from work pressures and frustrations. Help your boss release their negative feelings by letting them know you understand why they’re upset. They may realize you’re genuinely on their side and will feel better.
- You might say: “Yes, I understand how bad this situation is” or “I know why you’re tired. I’ll do my best to get this done for you.”
Focus on solving the immediate problem.
Try offering a solution to resolve the issue that is causing your boss's frustration. Show them that you are still engaged and putting effort into finding feasible solutions for the issue or situation both of you are discussing. Shift the negative energy away from you by attempting to address the problem. Your boss will then refocus on the task at hand instead of continuing to criticize you.
- For instance, if your boss says: “I don’t see you caring about sending the client the project details,” you can respond: “I’ll double-check and send it again if they haven’t received it.”
- If your boss shifts the blame of a bigger company issue onto you, redirect the conversation by saying: “I also see that as a problem. I think if the management implements a new policy, maybe everyone will follow it more consistently.”
Step back and assess your boss’s behavior.
Evaluate whether your boss is intentionally being domineering. Some people are naturally more blunt or impatient than others. Take a moment to assess whether your boss is truly being overbearing or if it’s just your perception. Try to look at things objectively and without letting emotions cloud your judgment. Sometimes, you might have misunderstood something they said or did.
- If your boss emails you saying: “I need this survey completed by the end of the week,” they might genuinely be in a rush and need it done as soon as possible.
- Even if you’re certain they’ve been arrogant, it’s still better to pause, reflect, and evaluate carefully before taking any action.
Imagine everything from their perspective.
Try to put yourself in your boss’s shoes to understand why they’re upset. Consider what they’re dealing with at work and the pressure they might be under in their position. While this doesn’t excuse their behavior, it will help you comprehend why your boss may act in a way that feels domineering toward you.
- Shifting your perspective also allows you to manage your emotions better and avoid reacting negatively to their words or actions.
Try to engage directly if possible.
This can help prevent misunderstandings or misinterpretations of the message. Tone and intent can easily be lost in emails, Slack messages, or any other form of written communication in the workplace. Make an effort to discuss work-related matters with your boss in person as much as possible. This way, you’ll better understand how your boss communicates about things and whether they are actually being domineering.
- If your boss sends an email that you interpret as having a condescending tone, try to meet them in person and ask for clarification to assess if your perception is correct.
Pay attention to your boss.
Make sure not to remain silent, as it may seem like you don’t care. Don’t just sit there and endure if your boss starts raising their voice. Responding in this way can come off as if you’re uninterested or dismissive of their authority. Look at them when they speak and respond if they ask questions.
- For example, if your boss says: “I asked you to send this report in the email today, but you didn’t do it correctly. Didn’t you hear me? Or don’t you care?”, you can reply: “No, I did hear you, I just couldn’t finish it in time to send it.”
- Interacting with someone who’s acting domineering can be incredibly difficult and frustrating, but it’s important not to remain silent or lose focus.
Stand up for yourself.
Push back a little, but don’t go too far. If your boss is truly dismissive of you, don’t just mutter and endure it. Respond to their questions and try to explain your perspective. If you disagree with something they’ve said, it’s important to voice your disagreement. Aim to stay respectful and avoid getting caught in an argument, but don’t be afraid to stand your ground.
- If your boss says, “I don’t understand why you can’t finish this report. Is it really too difficult for you?”, you could respond: “No, it’s not too complex. I might just not have fully understood what you wanted.”
- If your boss says, “You’re still not done with the project? Why can’t you ever meet deadlines?”, you could calmly respond: “You mentioned you’d review it next Friday, so I thought I had more time.”
Speak privately with your boss.
Sometimes, we don’t realize our own unreasonable behavior. If your boss consistently acts condescending toward you, ask to speak with them privately. Reflect on recent situations where their words or actions felt dismissive. Be clear about what happened so you can address the issue accurately. Let them know that their behavior makes you uncomfortable and affects your work performance, and that you’d appreciate it if they could tone it down.
- To request a private conversation, you can say: “Could we chat in the office when you have a moment?”
- You might also say: “I really felt discouraged when you embarrassed me in front of the team during that meeting.”
- Or say: “I’m eager to do a great job, but it’s tough to focus if you keep criticizing me like this.”
- It might help to practice speaking in front of a mirror to be more fluent when you meet with your boss.
Document your boss’s behavior.
It can be helpful if you ever need to report your boss’s behavior. If your boss is truly difficult and frequently condescending toward you, make a note every time it happens. Keep a record of things they’ve said or done, compiling the instances into a written document.
If things get really serious, go to HR.
Explain how your boss’s behavior is affecting your work. If after a private conversation your boss’s behavior doesn’t change, it may be time to raise the issue with your manager or an HR representative. Keep in mind that HR is generally more inclined to protect the company than an individual employee. Therefore, you should be prepared with undeniable evidence of your boss’s condescending behavior to back up your claims.
- Approaching HR might seem like a drastic step, but if you’ve exhausted other options and the situation hasn’t improved, it could be your last hope.
Advice
- Keep a copy of any emails or notes with condescending language that your boss sends you in case you need them later.
- If you’re unsure, ask your colleagues if they’ve experienced similar behavior from your boss.
Warning
- Refrain from shouting or threatening your boss, as it could lead to termination.
