How to Deal with Arrogant People

Confronting someone with an arrogant attitude can be incredibly frustrating. Clearly, no one likes to be belittled. However, with a bit of patience and a few effective communication techniques, you can handle most situations involving arrogant people. These strategies can be applied in both personal life and the workplace.

Stay calm. When communicating with an arrogant person, try to avoid losing your temper, as this may worsen the situation. Before responding, take a moment to pause and take a deep breath. Remind yourself with thoughts like, 'I am trying to clarify the issue, but I will remain calm and respectful.'

Be Direct. If someone speaks to you with arrogance or even rudeness, don’t hesitate to stand up for yourself. Let them know that you feel disrespected and that their haughty attitude is offensive. Being direct is necessary if you want to handle the situation effectively. Otherwise, they may not even realize they are behaving in such a condescending manner.

Pay attention to your tone. Arrogance often manifests through the way someone speaks. In other words, sometimes the way something is said matters more than the content itself. Be careful not to respond to arrogance with even more arrogance. Avoid sarcasm, muttering, or raising your voice, for instance.

Practice a constructive communication style. To deal with difficult people, you must be careful in choosing your words. Avoid using defensive language, as this may give an arrogant person an opportunity to escalate the situation. Fortunately, you can turn defensive statements into more constructive ones. For example:

• If someone speaks to you in a condescending tone, saying, 'Oh, if I were you, I'd already have a stable career and a promotion.'
• You might be tempted to respond with something like, 'You're wrong! Don’t interfere with my life.'
• Instead, try responding more effectively, like, 'I understand why you think that. But listen to me, the situation is actually more complex than that…'

Understand your relationship with the person. If you're dealing with someone who constantly speaks down to you, stop and think about your relationship with them. Based on your relationship, try to identify what causes the signs of arrogance. Once you understand that, you can communicate more effectively.

• For example, if you're in a relationship where you feel indebted to the other person, the pressure of the debt might create a sense of being looked down upon. You could repay the debt or openly talk about how you feel.

Recognize emotional manipulation signs. Sometimes, people use arrogance to manipulate others into doing something for them. If your partner or friend says things that belittle you, they may actually be afraid of losing you. Their arrogant remarks might be meant to make you feel inferior to them and dependent on them. If you notice this behavior, it’s important to have a calm and direct conversation with your partner or friend about it.

Nod and smile, if all else fails. Sometimes, the quickest and easiest way to deal with an arrogant person is to simply ignore them. If you can tolerate their condescending comments long enough to escape the situation, just hold back, and next time, try to avoid that person.

Seek professional help if needed. If someone's disrespectful comments are severely damaging a relationship that you value, don't hesitate to seek help. For example, a marriage or family counselor is trained to mediate problematic relationships.

Recognize arrogant behavior. Behaviors such as yelling, shouting, or making disrespectful comments are clear signs of arrogance. However, in a workplace environment, people may show condescension in more subtle ways, like gossiping or making sarcastic remarks about others. Point out such behaviors when necessary. You can also avoid such situations by fostering an environment that discourages gossip or mocking colleagues.

Ignore and move on. If someone makes a condescending remark but it’s not part of their usual behavior, the best approach may be to simply ignore it. Everyone has moments where they speak out of turn, have a bad day, or unintentionally hurt others. If the comment was a one-off, try to let it slide.

Shift the arrogant attitude. Sometimes, you can steer someone's arrogance in a more positive direction. If a colleague acts like they know more or are better than you, engage with them in a way that turns those feelings into something constructive. Try saying things like:

• "Could you help me understand?"
• "What do you think we should do?"
• "Maybe you're the best person for this task."

Seek support. If you're dealing with a colleague who constantly acts superior, talk to your manager about the behavior. Try to gather evidence like saved emails. If the person with this attitude happens to be your manager, the situation could be more complex. However, you can still seek support from other colleagues who may be in a similar situation.

Find a way to have a direct conversation. To more effectively deal with an arrogant colleague or supervisor, suggest scheduling a one-on-one meeting to discuss things. If you don't want to reveal the topic of the conversation beforehand, you can simply state the reason as something like "workplace communication strategies."

• You can also invite your manager to join the meeting as a neutral mediator.

Speak up directly. If someone's arrogant attitude is hindering your work, it's important to address it with them. Stay polite, avoid anger, but be firm in responding to their behavior. You might say something like, "I respect your skills and experience in this field, but sometimes it's difficult to ask you for help because I feel disrespected when I don't know something. It feels like you're looking down on me."

Don't get angry. If the colleague responds with even more arrogance, resist the urge to retaliate. Take a moment to breathe, regain your composure, and assess the situation before proceeding.

Avoid judgmental gestures. Non-verbal communication is a crucial element, especially when trying to resolve conflicts. When discussing a colleague's haughty attitude, it's important to pay attention to both body language and words. Avoid gestures such as:

• Pointing
• Rolling your eyes
• Crossing your arms over your chest
• Getting too close to their face
• Leaning over them while they're seated

Try to view the situation from their perspective. Sometimes people may not realize their haughty behavior. Step outside your own feelings and try to understand your colleague's viewpoint.

• Encourage your colleague to express their thoughts or feelings when they say something that you perceive as condescending.
• Respond politely with phrases like “Why don’t you share your perspective with me?”

Reevaluate the adjustments. After the meeting, consider asking your manager to create a report outlining suggestions for handling and avoiding haughty behavior. This document can serve as a guide for individuals involved in conflicts or as a set of rules for avoiding condescending language and comments in the workplace.