How to Deal with Foolish People

Lower your standards. This is challenging but crucial. One reason you might feel disheartened by the world's foolishness is due to unrealistic expectations. Everyone is born and raised in different circumstances, with varying perspectives and priorities in life. Remind yourself that an "average" person may not meet your expectations of how they should think or act, so it's essential to lower your standards.

• Without expectations, you might be pleasantly surprised and satisfied when someone shows intelligence or respect—instead of constantly being disappointed when they don't meet your hopes.

Consider things from their perspective. Another way to shift how you perceive people who irritate you is to evaluate situations based on their viewpoint. You might believe there’s only one correct way to view gun control policies or vegetarianism, but before solidifying your stance, try stepping into the opposing perspective. You might discover another side to the story that you hadn’t considered.

• Understanding someone’s background can also help you grasp their perspective—if they grew up in a very conservative area while you did not, it’s natural that your worldviews would differ.

Recognize that not everyone has the same genetic and environmental advantages. Both factors can influence general "intelligence." One reason someone might seem smarter than others could depend on whether they grew up in an academically stimulating environment, excelled in school, or had to start from scratch, juggling family responsibilities, work, and other duties that left little time for personal growth. In such cases, they might appear less intelligent or slower to understand things, even if they lacked access to education or opportunities from a young age. When frustrated by someone’s perceived foolishness, ask yourself if they’ve had the same opportunities to thrive as you—chances are, they haven’t, and under similar circumstances, they might not be seen as foolish at all.

• Intelligence isn’t determined by family, wealth, or love. However, a person’s skill development and awareness are heavily influenced by life experiences and opportunities.
• Remind yourself to evaluate individuals case by case, which can reduce frustration by stopping you from wondering why they don’t act like you.

Don’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. Albert Einstein once said, "Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid." This means you should consider that the person might not be foolish—they might simply lack intelligence in one or two areas you expect them to excel in. The person struggling with basic math next to you in class could be a talented poet; the barista who messes up your latte order might be an exceptional musician. Stop thinking there’s only one way to be smart or foolish, and you’ll start noticing others’ talents you previously overlooked.

• Think about it: if we judged intelligence or foolishness based on a single aspect, someone out there might think you aren’t very smart either. That wouldn’t be fair, would it?

Understand that you can’t change their mind. This is another crucial point to grasp when dealing with people who frequently disagree with you, especially those who are stubborn. You might think your arguments or facts are obvious and try to explain them, only to be met with a dismissive "Oh, I never thought of it that way…" While this doesn’t always happen, it can be incredibly disheartening.

• If you realize that even the most logical and solid arguments won’t easily convince them, you’ll stop trying. When you stop trying to make others understand your perspective, you’ll feel less frustrated.
• Remember, your goal isn’t to make a stubborn person agree with you but to remain calm and composed when interacting with them.

Arm yourself with knowledge. Knowledge is power, especially when dealing with ignorant individuals. The best way to confront them is to present your perspective clearly. Read as much as possible, stay updated with news, and ensure you fully understand a concept before debating it. The more facts, data, and well-researched points you bring to the table, the harder it will be for foolish people to argue against you.

• While you don’t necessarily need to prove yourself right when talking to someone foolish (since it often leads nowhere), showing that you’ve thoroughly researched the topic can reduce their willingness to argue with you.

Avoid controversial topics. If you only need to deal with foolish people briefly, steer clear of subjects that might irritate, anger, or provoke them to prove you wrong. When you know someone is foolish and often holds absurd views, don’t engage in serious discussions—even if the topic matters to you. Instead, stick to polite small talk ("Hi, how have you been?") if you frequently encounter them, and avoid touchy subjects.

• Even if you’re tempted to "win" an argument against someone you know will respond foolishly, resist the urge. Arguing with them isn’t good for you or your blood pressure.

Be kind. When faced with someone acting incredibly foolish, kindness might be the last thing on your mind. However, being as nice as possible can disarm them. Treating them well may reduce their defensiveness, leaving them unsure how to respond except by being kind in return and stopping their irrational behavior. If you’re rude, belittle them, or act maliciously, they’ll likely become even more unreasonable. Swallow your pride, be kind, and foolish people will bother you less.

• Remember, being good and polite is always easier than being rude or mean. Being mean only increases stress and poisons your mind, while treating others well protects your mental health.

Avoid pointless debates. This ties into avoiding controversial topics. If a foolish person brings up a topic to discuss and starts sharing their irrational views, resist the urge to jump in and prove them wrong. Politely say things like, "You’re entitled to your opinion" or "That’s interesting," without showing outright disagreement. Then, politely change the subject.

• While it might feel satisfying momentarily, arguing with a foolish person is ultimately meaningless.

Control your emotions. Foolish people excel at making others uncomfortable or annoyed. But from now on, don’t let them affect you—it’s simply not worth it. If you want to maintain the upper hand in a discussion, stay calm. Emotional control is a form of intelligence, and losing it might make you appear foolish instead.

• Be patient. It might take time for a foolish person to understand an issue. Don’t rush to frustration—give them a chance.
• If their words bother you, silently repeat this person is foolish, this person is foolish until you realize their words don’t matter.
• If you feel angry, count down from fifty, focus on your breathing, or take a walk—do whatever it takes to calm down before facing them again, if you must.
• Don’t let foolish people feel satisfied by seeing they’ve affected you. The more they see you react, the more they’ll think they’re the smarter one.

Ask them to provide evidence to clarify their point. If you’re truly exhausted by a foolish person, you can silence them by requesting proof to back up their claims. Chances are, they won’t be able to provide any, effectively ending the argument instead of letting it escalate. You can politely say things like:

• "Oh, really? Where did you read that?"
• "Are you referring to that article in Dân Trí last week? I think it said something different..."
• "That’s interesting. Do you know what percentage of users actually prefer this?"
• "You seem to know a lot about California. How long did you live there? It must have been quite a while to have such a strong opinion."

Ignore them if there’s no better option. While ignoring someone can seem rude and unprofessional, sometimes it’s the best choice. For example, if you’re in a group conversation and don’t want to leave just because of one foolish person, you can pretend they’re not there or avoid reacting to their comments. If their remarks are too absurd, someone else might counter them—or everyone might simply ignore them too.

• If they directly address you, smile and act as if nothing happened instead of responding.
• While ignoring a foolish person isn’t the ideal solution, it’s a way to avoid engaging with them.

Walk away when possible. This is an excellent option, though you can’t always turn your back and leave—especially if the foolish person is your boss and you don’t want to lose your job. However, it’s perfectly fine to walk away if they’re yelling at you in a grocery store or anyone trying to pick a fight. Leaving is also a great way to calm down if you’re about to lose your temper.

• Simply say, "Sorry, I have to go now" if the person is somewhat reasonable, or just walk away if you feel no need to be polite.

Don’t take it to heart. This can be difficult, especially if they’re intentionally trying to hurt you. However, if you want to deal with foolish people effectively, the best approach is not to let them bother you and learn to brush off their words. Holding onto their comments and getting hurt only harms yourself. Remind yourself that they’re foolish, and the words of a fool aren’t worth your attention.

• Your worth isn’t determined by someone whose intelligence isn’t even worthy of your respect. Remember this the next time they try to hurt you.

Acknowledge their strengths (if any). Staying positive and focusing on their good qualities is a way to prevent foolish people from bothering you. Maybe your boss isn’t the best communicator, but think about the good things they’ve done for the company. Perhaps your cousin is outspoken, but she’s been incredibly supportive during your tough times.

• Remind yourself that most "foolish" people aren’t bad—they have good qualities too. Keeping this in mind helps you stay calm around them, especially with those you interact with regularly, like classmates or coworkers.

Don’t complain about them to others. Your colleague or rival might have said something incredibly foolish, and you immediately want to tell your ten closest friends, even sending a flurry of emails or messages detailing how absurd they are. But does this help? Sure, people will agree with you, but in the end, it only leaves you more frustrated, annoyed, and upset.

• Worst of all, it shows how much they affect you—if you truly think they’re foolish and bothersome, why waste so much time dwelling on their words?
• If they really bother you, confide in a close friend, but don’t let it become an obsession or ruin your day.

Show respect whenever possible. This might sound impossible when dealing with foolishness, but that’s exactly why you should respect foolish people as much as you can. Treat them like royalty or the CEO of the company if needed. Treating them as if they deserve respect not only makes you the bigger person but also encourages them to behave more appropriately in the future.

• Resist the urge to retaliate. You might come up with the perfect comeback in your head, but before speaking, remember it won’t lead anywhere productive.

Be grateful for all the smart people in your life (including yourself!). Frequently dealing with foolish people makes you appreciate all the calm, reasonable, and intelligent individuals you know. If you’re often annoyed by foolishness, it might be because your friends and family are smart, setting a high standard for how you judge others’ intelligence.

• Instead of dwelling on the foolish people around you, remember how lucky you are to have loved ones, friends, relatives, or coworkers who are intelligent. This helps you appreciate the positive people in your life rather than focusing on the foolish ones.

• Always stay calm.
• Avoid arguments; they rarely make people realize they’re being foolish.
• Distance yourself from them if possible.
• Don’t criticize them outright; if you must, do so politely and with patience.
• If they’re someone important, instead of walking away, help them understand why their behavior is upsetting others. We should be accommodating to everyone because everyone has moments of causing discomfort.
• Don’t tell a foolish person that their actions are making things worse. This will only irritate them further and escalate the situation. Giving them a chance to improve is also giving them a chance to become wiser.

• Never act maliciously toward them. They won’t understand or realize what they’ve done wrong.