How to Deal with Negative Thoughts

It's completely natural for anyone to experience negative thoughts at certain times. However, overly negative thinking can lead to a host of problems. If allowed to grow unchecked, these thoughts can affect various aspects of our lives, including our physical health. There are simple methods available that can help you shift your mindset towards a more positive outlook, such as self-talk, visualization, and distraction techniques. Continue reading to learn more about managing negative thoughts.

Understand that negative thoughts also serve a purpose. Although they may be annoying and unsettling, negative thoughts can serve a good purpose. Some psychologists even believe that a bit of pessimism can be beneficial, as it forces us to be resourceful and reflect when things don't go as planned.

• Recognize that you're not the only one experiencing negative thoughts. Negative thinking occupies a large part of our mental landscape and is even considered a psychological trait of humanity. Just like our ancestors, humans are constantly exploring their environment and striving to bring about positive change. This process becomes problematic when we start to believe that these negative thoughts are true.

Recognize when negative thoughts become problematic. Negative thoughts become problematic when they affect your behavior and create disruptions in your daily life. At this point, seeking help from a mental health professional may be necessary. The situation can become overwhelming as negativity takes hold, as you constantly expect bad things to happen. This is referred to as a self-fulfilling prophecy, a cycle where your thinking or expectations about a particular situation form a new habit, which then causes your expectations to come true.

• Example: You think you'll fail your English test tomorrow. With the mindset that you'll fail anyway, your behavior afterward will likely involve not preparing for the test. As a result, you fail. Over time, you begin to think of yourself as dumb or always struggling with tests, leading to more issues with exams.

Be aware of different types of negative thinking. Negative thinking manifests in various forms. Recognizing these patterns can help you realize when you’re falling into negative thought patterns and work to combat them. Not every negative thought fits into a specific category, but there are common types of negative thinking that might be playing out in your mind.

• Filtering: You ignore all positive aspects of a situation. For example, if you pass a very difficult course with a C+ when you hoped for an A, you might think, 'I'm a mediocre student.'
• Black-and-white thinking: You fail to see the shades of gray, instead viewing things as “all or nothing.” For instance, if you get a B- when you were hoping for an A, you might label yourself as, 'I'm a failure.'
• Overgeneralization: You assume that if something happened once, it will always happen again. For example, if you get a B- when expecting an A, you might think, 'I’ll always get B- on tests.'
• Jumping to conclusions: You assume you know what others are thinking or feeling. For example, if you get a B- when expecting an A, you might think, 'The teacher thinks I’m stupid.'
• Catastrophizing: You believe that the worst possible outcome will always occur. For example, before every test, you might think, 'I’m going to get the lowest score in the class!'
• Personalization: You believe that you are responsible for events outside your control. For example, if your boss yells at you regularly, you might think, 'I’m the reason my boss is always angry.'
• Control fallacies: You feel that you either have no control over your situation or complete control. For example, you might think, 'There’s nothing I can do to get an A in math.'
• Fairness fallacy: You believe that things should always be fair. For example, you might think, 'I got a B- in math because life is unfair.'
• Blaming: You think others are responsible for your emotions. For example, you might think, 'Lan Anh always makes me upset.'
• Emotional reasoning: You believe that your feelings reflect reality just because you’ve experienced them. For example, you might think, 'I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure.'
• Change fallacy: You believe others need to change for you to be happy. For example, you might think, 'I’ll never be happy unless Lan Anh changes her attitude.'
• Labeling: You apply negative labels to yourself or others based on a single event or action. For example, if you forget to study for a test, you might think, 'I’m unreliable.'

Keep a thought journal to better understand the triggers behind your negative thoughts. You may start to understand and deal with negative thoughts by writing them down. Begin by noting an event you wish had gone differently, or one you think you could have handled better. You should also track your feelings about the event, if possible.

• For example, you might record something like, 'I didn’t do well on my English test. I felt anxious before taking the test because it reminded me of the previous test I didn’t pass.'

Identify your unconscious thoughts. In addition to negative thoughts about situations, you should also write down your unconscious thoughts. These are thoughts that arise automatically in your mind, often without warning or reason.

• For example, you might automatically think, 'I’m stupid.' 'I’m a disappointment,' or 'My life will never be successful.'

Identify the type of negative thinking you are experiencing. Review some of the most common negative thinking patterns to pinpoint which one applies to you. After identifying it, write down the name of the thought pattern in your journal.

• Example: If you think, "I am so stupid," you might label this thought as "Black-and-white thinking" because you are overlooking your positive qualities.

Identify the underlying anxieties. To manage negative thoughts, it's essential to understand them, including the prejudices and beliefs attached to them. Choose a negative thought and reflect on the anxieties that may lead to that thought.

• Example: If you think, "I am so stupid," the underlying anxiety might stem from doubts about your intelligence and natural abilities.

Examine the roots of your negative thoughts. Keep in mind that negative thoughts often stem from deep-seated beliefs or biases in your mind. It's crucial to trace the origins of these beliefs or biases and work on eliminating them.

• Example: If you frequently worry about failing an exam, consider the role your parents and teachers may have played in fostering this belief. Did they often say that you won't succeed in life if you keep failing exams?

Challenge your thoughts. Another way to better understand your thoughts is by questioning them. This method works once you're aware of your negative thoughts and capable of recognizing them. The goal is to help you realize that most thoughts are not facts, but reactions to something. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Is this thought true?
• If you consider it true, how do you know? What evidence supports it?
• How do you react to these negative thoughts? What actions, thoughts, and feelings follow?
• How would your actions and behavior change without those thoughts?

Identify areas that need change. Recognizing areas of your life that require change can help you refocus and create positive outcomes. Ask yourself whether your thoughts are related to specific aspects of your life, such as your career, relationships, or health. Pick one of these areas and determine what you can do to improve the situation.

• Example: If work is always causing you stress, think about what changes you can make. Perhaps you're working too many hours, even though you still need to put in the time. You could reduce unnecessary tasks or improve your time management. Additionally, you can learn techniques to reduce stress.

Understanding the benefits of dealing with your thoughts by voicing them. In addition to writing down and reflecting on negative thoughts, speaking them out loud can be a helpful way to address them. Positive self-talk can gradually change your perspective and reduce self-criticism.

Correcting negative thoughts as they arise. When starting positive self-talk, don't allow negative thoughts to pass without turning them into something positive. It may be difficult at first, but with practice, it will become easier, and you'll start to develop a more positive outlook. The next time a negative thought appears, make an effort to transform it into a positive one.

• For example, if the thought 'I will never lose weight' crosses your mind, make an effort to reframe it into a positive affirmation. You could say, 'I will keep trying to lose weight.' By turning negative thoughts into hopeful affirmations, you are forcing yourself to focus on the positive side of the situation.

Recognizing that your thoughts are not facts. You can deal with negative thoughts by acknowledging that they are just thoughts and do not define you. Every time a thought appears, say it aloud and remind yourself that it’s only a thought.

• For example, if the thought 'I am a failure' comes to mind, recognize that it's just a thought. You can say to yourself, 'I am thinking that I am a failure.'

Identifying the motivation behind your negative thoughts. Remember that sometimes negative thoughts appear for a reason. Your mind may be trying to protect you from potential problems or future disappointments. However, this doesn't mean these thoughts are without frustration. It simply means you need to find another way to address them. Thanking your mind is one way to cope with negative thoughts, as they often come from a place of trying to protect you.

• For instance, you might think, 'I'll be late for work because of this traffic jam, and my boss will scold me.' In response, you can say to yourself, 'Thank you, mind. I appreciate your concern, but right now, you don't need to worry about this.'

Identify your "stories". You can lessen the impact of negative thinking patterns by labeling those thoughts according to the type of story they represent. In other words, you may experience various types of thoughts, but fundamentally, they all share a similar core meaning. Identifying your negative thought patterns and labeling them can help you let those thoughts pass by.

• For example, if you often think, "I'm doing a terrible job", you can reframe it by saying, "Oh, this is the story of 'I'm a bad employee.'" By identifying a thought in this way, you're reminding yourself that such thoughts tend to come up for you.

Turn your negative thoughts into a song. Sometimes, you can have fun with negative thoughts to help identify and change them. It may sound silly, but you can dispel negative thoughts by singing them out loud. You can use the melody of a familiar song like "Bắc kim thang" or "Happy birthday" to transform your negative thoughts into lyrics.

• If you're not in the mood to sing, you can express your negative thoughts in a humorous voice, like a cartoon character.

Accept that negative thoughts will keep arising. Negative thoughts are nothing to be ashamed of; anxiety triggers them, and they don't define who you are. The desire to banish negative thoughts only makes things worse. With time and practice, these thoughts will lessen. You can control their impact on you by consistently examining your thoughts and understanding their role in your life.

Distract yourself with positive activities. You won't have much time to dwell on negative thoughts when you're busy. Moreover, staying busy reminds you of the things you enjoy. Look for interesting activities or try something new. Here are some activities you can try:

• Walking for exercise: helps relax your mind and reduce stress through physical activity.
• Taking a walk in a favorite place, like a park.
• Watching a movie or comedy show on TV, reading a funny story, or listening to a favorite radio show.
• Spending time with friends, family, or community. Staying connected with others can help you feel more positive and reduce self-focused thoughts.

Take care of yourself. Taking good care of your body can help you cope with negative thoughts. By eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly, you'll feel better physically and mentally. Remember to nourish your body, rest well, and exercise consistently to achieve the best health and happiness.

• Try to follow a balanced diet, including plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Avoid unhealthy foods, and limit sugar and excessive fats.
• Get 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Keep in mind that this is the recommended amount for adults, though some may need more or less sleep.
• Exercise for 30 minutes a day, three times a week. Even just 30 minutes of walking or two 15-minute strolls can count as exercise.

Encourage yourself with positive affirmations. Positive affirmations can help you manage the negative emotions that often accompany negative thoughts. Take a few minutes every day to stand in front of the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself. You can say something you believe you already possess or something you aspire to believe about yourself. Some examples of positive affirmations include:

• "I am intelligent."
• "I am a caring friend."
• "People enjoy being around me."

Forgive yourself for mistakes. Learning to forgive yourself, just as you would forgive a friend, is an essential part of managing negative thoughts. If you're facing negative thoughts that stem from mistakes you've made, it's crucial to practice self-forgiveness. Treating yourself with the same compassion you would show a close friend helps silence the inner critic.

• The next time you make a mistake, take a deep breath and try to stop any negative thoughts. Instead, you could say something like, "I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person."

Celebrate your small wins. Another way to combat negative thinking is to congratulate yourself for achieving something positive and remind yourself of the good things you've done in the past. By occasionally rewarding yourself with compliments, you can focus on your positive qualities and stop sinking into negative thoughts and feelings.

• For example, instead of dwelling on a bad event that happened at school, choose one of your accomplishments and celebrate it. You could say something like, "Today I did something great in gym class!"