How to Deal with Racism

Understand that you’re not overreacting. Similar to harassment, subtle and often unintentional racist behaviors (known as "microaggressions") may not seem like a big deal to others, but if they bother you, they need to be addressed.

• Studies show that people of color face racial microaggressions daily, yet those who commit these acts often deny any wrongdoing or claim their actions aren’t rooted in racial bias. This can make people of color feel like they’re imagining things or worry that speaking up will lead to their experiences being dismissed as unfounded.

Walk away. When faced with microaggressions or overt racism, prioritize your well-being by choosing to leave. You’re under no obligation to engage with or try to understand someone exhibiting such behavior.

• As a victim of racism, you’re not required to "fix" the person who offended you. Engaging in conversations about racism can be exhausting and upsetting, and while it’s a challenging task, sometimes walking away is the best option. However, if you feel compelled to engage, that’s your choice.

Point out the issue in their words or behavior. Instead of accusing someone of being racist, which may make them defensive, focus on explaining why their words or actions are problematic.

• For example, instead of saying, "You’re being offensive," say, "That kind of language can be hurtful to Asian people." By using "that kind of language" instead of "you," you shift the focus from the person to their words.

Be honest with friends. You’re never obligated to tolerate or confront racism just to avoid conflict with friends. Racism is always wrong, and you have every right to speak up.

• If you think someone is behaving in a racist manner, explain why their behavior is problematic. Choose your approach carefully; people often get defensive when criticized, so the more tactful you are, the more likely they’ll listen.

Address racist comments or behavior in a group setting. When someone in a group says or does something offensive, the effectiveness of your approach depends on several factors. Determine your goal: do you want everyone to know you won’t tolerate such behavior, or do you want to maintain a relationship with the person who made the mistake?

• Criticizing racist behavior in front of others sends a clear message that you won’t accept such actions. However, people tend to get defensive when called out in front of friends.
• If the behavior seems unintentional and you value the relationship, you might let it go temporarily and ask to discuss it privately later. Waiting has its drawbacks, though, as the person may forget what they said or the context, and it might send the message that you won’t challenge such behavior.

Practice different approaches to racist behavior or comments. There are many ways to respond to offensive actions, and you should choose a method that aligns with your personality and your relationship with the person involved.

• One approach is to share your feelings: "You know, it hurts me when people say or do that because…" Talking about your emotions makes people less defensive than direct criticism, but it may also make them feel less accountable in the long run.
• A more direct approach is to say, "You shouldn’t say or do that. It’s offensive to people of this race because…" This makes it clear that their behavior is harmful and needs to stop.

Learn how to handle racism from someone in a position of authority. If a teacher or boss treats you differently because of your race, makes snide remarks, or says things that make you uncomfortable, it’s challenging to address because they hold power over you and can impact your grades or income.

• If you believe their racism is unintentional or careless, and you have a decent working relationship with them, consider speaking to the teacher or boss. They might not realize their behavior is offensive. For example, a teacher asking you to present "the Asian perspective" may not understand how that marginalizes you, as Asians are not a monolith.
• If you decide to talk to them, ensure you approach them when they’re not busy and request a private meeting. Clearly and calmly express your concerns: "Sometimes I feel singled out because of my race. I hope we can discuss this so it doesn’t happen again."
• If the racism is intentional, malicious, or if confronting them directly could harm your professional relationship, escalate the issue to a higher authority. At school, this could be a counselor or principal. At work, contact HR or your boss’s supervisor. Document every instance of racism or microaggressions and schedule a private meeting to present your case, including frequency, direct quotes, and why the behavior is unacceptable.

Know your rights. If you face racism at work or in public spaces, you may have legal protections. In the U.S., both state and federal laws, such as the Civil Rights Act of 1964, prohibit racial discrimination.

• In the U.S., you can consult a civil rights or employment lawyer if racism has deprived you of housing, employment, safety, or other freedoms. Most states have strict reporting timelines, so act quickly.
• If you can’t afford a lawyer, many human rights organizations can help. In the U.S., consider reaching out to the Southern Poverty Law Center or the Anti-Defamation League.

Distinguish between racist actions and racist individuals. Racist individuals are often driven by deep-seated prejudice and are unlikely to change, even if confronted. Racist actions, however, may stem from ignorance or cultural norms.

• Confronting a genuinely racist person is often futile. They may accuse you of playing the "race card" rather than acknowledging their behavior. Rarely will such individuals listen or change, and engaging with them can sometimes be dangerous.
• If someone is generally well-meaning but occasionally makes racist comments, you can explain why their behavior is harmful. These individuals often lack awareness of racism’s real-world impact.
• You’re under no obligation to educate others about racism simply because you’re part of a minority group. It’s your choice whether to engage with racist individuals or policies.

Take care of yourself. Enduring racism is a heavy burden and can be emotionally taxing. Ensure you have reliable support systems and take time to strengthen your emotional and mental well-being.

• The stress from facing racism can affect every aspect of your life, including your mental health, academic performance, and even your risk of serious illnesses.
• Join student associations for people of color, political organizations, or peer groups to connect with others who share similar experiences. Discuss stressful situations and coping strategies with family. Studies show that talking with others who’ve faced similar challenges is crucial for managing stress related to these experiences.

Speak up when you hear racist slurs or jokes. People often ignore racist comments or jokes when uncomfortable, unsure of how to respond. Preparing responses in advance helps you react and stand up for what’s right. Choose an approach based on your personality, relationship with the speaker, and the situation:

• Consider saying, "That’s not okay." In some cases, like during class or at a bus stop, you may not have time for a full discussion, but you can let them know their behavior is unacceptable. You’ll feel better for standing up for what’s right.
• Try saying, "Wow, that’s racist. Why would you say that?" Starting a conversation can make the person reflect on their words.
• If it’s a joke, ask, "Why is that funny?" in a serious tone, as if you don’t get it. Forcing someone to explain their joke can make them reconsider its racist undertones. If they still think it’s funny, you can say, "That’s actually racist."

Address racism within your family. Sometimes the most hurtful comments come from family members, like a respected grandparent or parent. They might make racist remarks or jokes, or even enforce discriminatory rules (e.g., forbidding you to date someone of a different race). This can be tough, especially if you respect and rely on them.

• Stay calm but express your feelings. Families are built on love and trust, so confidently let them know when they’ve said or done something offensive. Avoid yelling or personal attacks, but say, "I don’t like what you said" or "That comment made me uncomfortable," and ask them to explain their reasoning. This opens a dialogue and highlights the issue.
• Be aware that sometimes talking to them can backfire; for example, a relative might make more racist jokes if they know it bothers you.
• If your parents enforce racist rules about your friends, you’ll have to choose: follow their rules while living with them or secretly defy them. Understand that there may be consequences if they find out.
• Sometimes you can’t change a racist family member. You might limit contact and continue expressing how their behavior affects you, but in some cases, this won’t work. Accept their choices and strive not to adopt their prejudiced views.

Becoming an ally. If you oppose racism but are not part of a minority group, you can play a crucial role in confronting it whenever you encounter racist behavior. Learn to recognize microaggressions against people of color, and use your privileged position to combat racism in all its forms.

• Practice discussing race in "safe spaces for minorities." Racism is a challenging topic, and non-minorities are often taught not to speak up or "see" racial differences. It can be difficult to address racist behavior when it occurs, especially if you lack experience in discussing race. Seek out other allies who also want to fight racism, and together, role-play scenarios of racial discrimination you might encounter in daily life.

Meeting people different from you. In many parts of the world, it can be challenging to interact with individuals from different racial backgrounds. It’s natural to gravitate toward those similar to you, which can result in having friends only from your own race. Explore other cultures and ways of experiencing the world. This will broaden your perspective and help your friends, family, or children understand that friendships with people who are different are normal and acceptable.

• Attend cultural fairs, festivals, and community gatherings in your area. Visit your local library or community center for information.
• Join clubs, take up a new hobby, visit a church or chapel, or participate in groups to meet new people.

Discussing race. Race has become a taboo subject, as many are taught from a young age that discussing it is rude or inappropriate. But with racism still prevalent, open dialogue, willingness to learn, and empathy are crucial. Studies show that discussing race enhances understanding and tolerance. Take the opportunity to start these conversations.

• If you’re a parent, talk to your children about race. Don’t silence them when they point out someone’s skin color; noticing differences is natural for children. Teach them that differences are good! Say things like, "Yes, isn’t that great? Joe is Black, and you are Asian. We’re all different!"
• When your child is old enough to understand, discuss racism with them. If you’re part of a minority, prepare them for potential challenges, building their self-esteem and confidence to respond appropriately. If you’re not a minority, these conversations are still vital. Teach them about racial history in your country and explain why some people hold racist attitudes (prejudice, stereotypes, bigotry, etc.).

Contributing. If possible, donate or volunteer with organizations fighting racism in your local or national community, such as these in the United States:

• Southern Poverty Law Center
• Anti-Defamation League
• Human Rights Campaign

Understanding the differences between racism, bigotry, and prejudice. These terms are often used interchangeably in media or conversations, but they have distinct meanings. Knowing the differences will help you communicate effectively, especially when people misuse these terms.

• Racism is a system of oppression targeting a group based on their race, skin color, or ethnicity. It typically involves a dominant racial or ethnic group establishing laws, policies, and cultural norms that favor their group while disadvantaging minority groups.
• Bigotry, on the other hand, is hatred. It involves hating a group of people for who they are and/or believing your group is superior. This hatred isn’t limited to race or ethnicity; it can extend to religion, gender, sexual orientation, disabilities, etc. For example, the Holocaust was driven by bigotry, as are many hate crimes under U.S. law.
• Prejudice (literally "pre-judgment") is assuming you understand someone because of their group. While often negative, prejudice isn’t always bad. For instance, assuming all Asians are good at math or all people of color are great singers or athletes are racial stereotypes. Prejudice can also apply to religion, gender, disabilities, etc., making it broader than just race.

Understanding the intersection of these concepts and their connection to racism. Sometimes, racist policies or practices are obvious (at least in hindsight). For example, the history of slavery in the U.S. was rooted in racism and was once considered natural and legally and religiously justified. However, other times, people debate whether certain policies or practices are racist. For instance, some argue that Affirmative Action in the U.S. is racist, while others believe it combats racism.

• Since racism involves a powerful group oppressing a minority group, "reverse racism" (used to describe minorities mistreating majority groups) is a misnomer. Such actions should be called bigotry or prejudice, not racism.
• It’s important to remember that you can support racism without hating anyone. In fact, you might support racism unknowingly, as it’s a systemic form of oppression.

Understanding the history of racism in your country and globally. A sad but true fact about human civilization is that most dominant societies have struggled with racism. This is because racism involves those in power (the majority) mistreating those without power (the minority), and race has been a primary dividing line used to determine who holds power.

• In North America, racism is often traced back to when white Europeans settled and colonized Indigenous peoples (Native Americans). The imbalance of power (through weapons and diseases) devastated these communities.
• During the Victorian era in Europe, racism became ingrained in Western thought through so-called "scientific" discoveries about racial differences. Influenced by Darwin’s theory of evolution, scientists believed the white Anglo race was more evolved than others.

Understanding how racism connects to systems of power. While many oppressive systems, like slavery, have been abolished worldwide, racist attitudes and policies, whether overt or subtle, remain a global issue.

Recognize the consequences of racism. Since racism is systemic, its effects are evident in media, government institutions, school systems, and even religion.

• Pay attention to stereotypes about different races or ethnicities in TV, books, or movies. The rise of videos and video games has created new avenues for racism to spread. Reach out to producers of racist content and express your concerns. Refuse to support any business or organization that tolerates racism.

Understand that not all racist behavior is obvious. In daily life, "microaggressions" are more common than overt hatred, but they are equally harmful. As the name suggests, microaggressions are small, often unnoticed acts of discrimination—but over time, they become more apparent and hurtful to people of color.

• A microaggression can be anything, like unconsciously avoiding a person of color on public transport, asking a Black woman if her hair is "real," or questioning an Asian American about where they are "really" from.
• Unlike overt acts of hatred, microaggressions are often unintentional. This makes it harder for people of color to "prove" such behavior occurred, and they risk being labeled as overly sensitive or accused of playing the race card when they object.

• In the U.S., file a civil rights complaint if you are a victim of long-standing racial discrimination.
• You may have acted in a racist way without realizing it. Read the helpful Mytour article for tips on how to stop such behavior.

• While confronting racist behavior is commendable, it can also be dangerous. Be aware of the risks involved in standing up to racism, especially when dealing with individuals driven by bigotry rather than mere ignorance.