How to Deal with the Effects of Touch Deprivation

Touch starvation refers to the craving for physical contact. Many individuals feel this after being disconnected from others for a while. The touch doesn't necessarily have to be intimate—you may long for a simple hug or a friendly cuddle. Physical touch plays a significant role in human culture, with some even likening it to the basic needs of food and water.

• Interestingly, you can still experience touch deprivation even if you don't enjoy being touched by others.

Touch helps alleviate stress and lowers your heart rate. Have you ever had a rough day, and all you needed to feel better was a hug from someone special? Research shows that being touched, even in a non-romantic way, can help slow your heart rate and lower blood pressure.

Touch reduces feelings of loneliness. Physical contact is an excellent reminder that you're real and that others are too. Prolonged periods without touching someone else can heighten feelings of isolation and social disconnection.

Increased feelings of depression or anxiety. Research indicates that people with limited physical interaction are more likely to experience worsening mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety. If you're already dealing with either of these, you might find that a lack of physical touch intensifies them. Thankfully, there are coping techniques and self-soothing methods to simulate the feeling of touch on your own.

Experiencing higher stress levels. Physical touch, like hugging, naturally lowers your stress. If it’s been a while since you’ve had any form of touch, you may start feeling more anxious or overwhelmed with your everyday responsibilities.

Decreased satisfaction in relationships. Physical touch plays a crucial role in how we form bonds and connect with others. A lack of touch in your relationships with loved ones may leave you feeling like something important is missing. Luckily, this can be improved by casually reaching out to touch your loved ones when you meet them in person.

Trouble falling asleep. Being calmer and less stressed usually leads to a better night’s sleep. However, if you're touch deprived, you might find it harder to fall asleep or stay asleep at night. As you address your touch starvation and find effective coping methods, your sleep problems should resolve naturally.

Snuggle with a weighted blanket. The pressure from a heavy blanket can simulate the sensation of being embraced. Settle into bed, cover yourself with a weighted blanket, and wrap it around your body. The weight can trick your mind into feeling like you’re getting a hug, satisfying your need for physical touch.

• If you don’t own a weighted blanket, try bundling multiple layers of blankets around you instead.
• Alternatively, layer up with cozy sweaters and sweatpants.

Sleep with a body pillow. A large, elongated pillow can replicate the feeling of cuddling with someone. Research shows that hugging non-living objects can help reduce stress and boost your mental wellbeing. Consider getting a body pillow that matches your size, and keep it in bed to hold during the night.

• Body pillows can often be found at affordable prices at most home goods stores.
• If you don't want to spend on a body pillow, try hugging a regular-sized pillow. While it may not feel quite like a person, it can still offer comfort.

Take a warm, steamy shower. The sensation of water against your skin can mimic the comfort of physical touch. If you’re feeling stressed or anxious, treat yourself to a relaxing shower or bath. Let the warmth of the water and the steam embrace you as you close your eyes and unwind.

• For an extra touch of luxury, add a bath bomb or fragrant soap.
• If you're feeling particularly stressed, play some calming music and light candles to enhance your relaxation.

Hold a warm mug of coffee or tea. Holding a warm beverage can bring about a soothing sense of calm. Pour yourself a steaming cup of coffee or tea and take a moment to hold it in your hands. Let the warmth envelop you as you inhale deeply and relax.

• If you're trying this at night, opt for herbal tea or decaf coffee to avoid disrupting your sleep.

Listen to ASMR. Many people experience a relaxing sensation when listening to ASMR. The autonomous sensory meridian response can create tingling sensations that help satisfy the need for touch. Search for ASMR videos on YouTube or Google, then listen to them for a calming, soothing effect.

• There are many types of ASMR videos, from those designed to relax you to those that help you sleep or comfort you.
• For the best experience, high-quality headphones are recommended.

Give yourself a massage. A gentle massage can relieve tension and simulate the feeling of being touched. Find a comfortable position and give yourself a massage on your shoulders, neck, hands, arms, and feet. Aim for 10 to 15 minutes to feel more relaxed and connected with your body.

• Using hand lotion can make the massage smoother and more effective.
• If you can afford it, consider booking a professional massage for an even deeper relaxation.

Reach out to your loved ones. Connecting with a friend or family member can alleviate feelings of loneliness. Even if they can't physically be there to give you a hug or a comforting touch, chatting with someone close to you can provide similar comfort. Make it a habit to call, text, or video chat with your loved ones regularly to keep them in your life and bring more peace of mind.

• Consider setting up regular phone or video calls. This allows everyone to plan ahead and ensures you have a scheduled time to connect.
• You can also arrange to meet one or two friends at a fixed time online for activities like playing musical instruments or games together.
• Alternatively, surprise old friends with random calls to reconnect after some time apart.