How to Deal with the Feeling of Loneliness at Night

For those who sleep or live alone, the long hours of the night can feel especially lonely. The truth is, nighttime loneliness can affect anyone, causing sadness or fear. While it's important to acknowledge that you feel lonely, you don't have to endure the whole night in misery. There are meaningful things you can do to make the night more fulfilling and enjoyable.

Exercise. There are many ways to engage your body and clear the loneliness from your mind: try working out, dancing to your favorite tunes, jumping on the bed, or even practicing karate on YouTube.

• Exercise releases endorphins, which help boost your mood and ease loneliness. Just be sure not to exercise too close to bedtime, as your body and mind may struggle to relax and settle into a sleep routine. For some, evening workouts actually help them fall asleep later while maintaining good health.
• Do something fun and exciting—like playing music or dancing in your underwear. It will make you laugh and is a great way to feel comfortable instead of just lonely!

Find Inspiration. It's well known that the nighttime often brings about negative emotions, especially when we're alone. However, you can combat these negative feelings by doing a few positive things to endure the loneliness.

• Browse some inspiring quotes on Pinterest or Google and set them as your phone's wallpaper or change your social media profile picture. Read the biography of someone successful whom you admire, or watch an uplifting, educational TED Talk to boost your spirits.

Immerse Yourself in Another World. Read an interesting book, watch a favorite movie, binge-watch a TV show, or surf the web. All of these activities will shift your brain's focus away from your loneliness. When the feeling of sleepiness sets in, head to bed to rest.

Take a Drive or Go for a Walk. Sometimes, the best solution is to leave the house (if the weather permits). The change of scenery and the activity can help you forget about your loneliness. You might even bump into someone you know for a brief chat, or come across something interesting during your journey.

• Be cautious when entering unfamiliar areas. For example, drive to a part of town you’re not familiar with, or walk to a neighbor’s house you rarely visit. Just make sure the area is relatively safe beforehand. This can be a great way to experience something new and divert your attention from your loneliness.

Build Your Knowledge. Experts say that reading when you're feeling lonely can help you feel less isolated. The more you learn about loneliness and its widespread nature, the less alone you'll feel. Knowing that others are also experiencing similar difficulties and pain can ease the burden of loneliness.

• Look for online resources or grab a book from the library. Always keep these resources handy for when you're truly bored. You can also read your favorite quotes to lift your spirits when loneliness strikes. A great example of a helpful book on this topic is Emily White’s Lonely: Learning To Live with Solitude.

Appreciate Yourself. Recognize that you are your own wonderful companion. You don’t need others or exciting activities to feel happiness. While being with others can be fun, it's important to learn how to enjoy your own company. Spending time alone can be incredibly valuable. If you learn to appreciate yourself—and even embrace solitude—you may find that you feel less lonely.

• When feeling lonely, take time to rest and close your eyes. Focus on your breathing and the sensations in each part of your body. Try to live in the present moment, just focusing on yourself.
• Try reading a self-compassionate poem to remind yourself that you are not alone in your loneliness and that you deserve kindness during such moments: This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. Be kind to yourself during this time. Let yourself feel the compassion you need.
• This method might not work for everyone. Some might find it hard to relax, as they focus on their loneliness rather than escaping it. This is completely normal.

Connect with Someone. Find someone to chat with at any time during the evening—even at 2:30 AM. This could be a partner, a sibling, a parent, or your best friend. Roll over and gently wake up your partner, or give someone a call who's ready to talk. Perhaps, you can even reach out to a roommate just a few doors away. Approach them when you can.

• If it's not too late, consider calling someone who genuinely wants to listen to you, like an older relative. This will not only lift your spirits but will also help them feel good in return!
• When loneliness strikes late at night and it’s too late to reach out or visit anyone, try sending an email or writing a letter to someone special. While instant connection has become the norm in today's fast-paced world, writing a letter or an email to a loved one is a great way to express your feelings and thoughts deeply—and they'll receive it just in time.
• You could also invite someone to go out for a movie, dinner, or just to hang out. If you meet up with a close friend or family member, ask them to stay a bit longer; sometimes, it’s comforting to know someone is just in the next room.

Go Out. One way to avoid loneliness in the evening is to leave the house before bedtime. You don't have to stay out until dawn, just go out for a movie with friends, have dinner with a classmate, or grab drinks with a few girls from the office.

• You might not feel like going out if you're feeling down or sad, but that’s exactly what you need. Furthermore, once you return home, it’ll be time for bed, and you won’t have much time left to feel lonely.
• If you're really hesitant about going out, try this: instead of worrying about the whole night, tell your friends/group that you’ll meet them for drinks (or a small appetizer, etc.), and chances are, you'll end up going. In such cases, you’ll likely realize that things went better than expected—and who knows, you might stay out for another round (or two).

Join a Group or Pick Up a New Hobby. Adding an activity or class you enjoy in the evening can help eliminate loneliness from your mind and give you planned evenings to look forward to. While you won’t find many groups meeting at 2 AM, you can certainly join various evening activities like yoga, tai chi, knitting, or painting.

• Check out meetup.com to find a few local people who share similar interests and events happening around you. You might even meet someone who also struggles with evening loneliness. You both could spend time together, chat on the phone or Skype, and face the loneliness together.

Give Back. When feeling down, we often focus all our attention and energy on ourselves, which only increases negative feelings. Instead, by focusing outward, you can clear loneliness from your mind while doing something good at the same time.

• Consider volunteering at a local homeless shelter, animal rescue, or any other place in need of help in your area. Time will pass as you play with or bathe pets, or take part in other charitable events.
• Think about visiting the elderly or patients in nursing homes or local hospitals. If a loved one is there, visit them and experience the joy of that visit. Sometimes, recognizing how fortunate you are can make life feel less empty and bleak. Helping others may truly shift your perspective and lift your spirits.

Create a Sleep Routine. Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day will help your body fall asleep faster and reduce stress when getting into bed. It may take a few weeks to establish a new habit, so don't worry if things don't work immediately.

• Going to bed early while there's still noise outside can make you feel less lonely. If you live alone, this method might help you feel more comfortable since there are still other people around making noise in the building or on the street outside.

Relax Before Bed. Set aside some time to unwind before going to sleep. Avoid using the TV or phone at least 20 minutes before bed to give your brain a chance to relax for the night.

• Other methods to calm down before bed include meditation, breathing exercises, visualization, and progressive muscle relaxation. You can also try reading a book or magazine under soft lighting, doing a crossword puzzle, or listening to calming music.

Don't Force Yourself to Sleep if You Can't. Trying to sleep when you're unable to only increases anxiety and makes it harder to fall asleep. If you can't sleep, get up, go to another room, and do something relaxing. In due time, you’ll feel more comfortable and ready to return to bed.

Understand Lighting. People tend to sleep better at night after being exposed to sunlight throughout the day. Additionally, limit the amount of light in your room when sleeping, as light can make it harder for you to fall asleep.

• If you have curtains that block out light (some curtains literally 'hide' all light), consider purchasing a sleep mask to cover your eyes. These are inexpensive solutions you can find at most drugstores or online.

Avoid Napping All Day. If you break the habit of napping during the day, you’ll likely feel more tired in the evening, which can help you fall asleep faster. This way, you’ll have less time to feel lonely or anxious before sleeping.

Add Sound to Your Bedroom. You can introduce background music or white noise with even frequencies. Many people enjoy sounds from nature, like waterfalls or tropical rainforests.

• These sounds, and similar ones, are available through sound machines or apps on your phone, tablet, or computer.
• For those who feel lonely while sleeping alone, turning on the TV and keeping the volume low can help. The sound of voices may be soothing. If possible, angle the screen away from you to minimize light exposure, as light in the bedroom can disrupt your sleep.