Buzz
What signs can reveal that someone is lying over the phone? When you can't see the facial expressions of the person speaking, it might be difficult to discern whether they're being truthful or deceitful. Fortunately, whether it's your partner, a friend, or even a stranger, you can uncover lies by paying attention to key clues and their speaking patterns. We've compiled a list of reliable indicators to help you spot a liar over the phone and uncover the truth.
Steps
Clearing the throat
Throat muscles tighten when someone is under stress. If a liar feels pressured, they often clear their throat as a way to relieve muscle tension. You might also notice their voice cracking or sounding hoarser than usual.
- Keep in mind that throat clearing can also result from stress or anxiety, especially if the conversation is uncomfortable.
Loud or high-pitched voice
A high-pitched voice is also a sign of stress (and often dishonesty). Liars may speak in a higher tone than usual due to throat tension. If you know the person well, compare their current voice to their normal tone. If they're someone you're not familiar with, listen for excessive loudness, as liars often try to sound assertive and convincing.
Speech breaks and hesitations
When lying about something complex, people need time to fabricate a story. As a result, they may hesitate before answering questions and pause while explaining fabricated details. Does the person pause briefly before responding to your questions? Are they speaking slower than usual?
- Complex lies involve lengthy explanations about why something happened or detailed descriptions of events.
- Simple lies (which usually don't cause much hesitation) might involve lying about someone's appearance or food.
- Conversations between two cooperative people often fall into a comfortable rhythm. Trust your instincts if you feel the other person is waiting too long to respond – they might be lying!
Filler words like “um” or “uh”
Liars often feel the need to fill awkward pauses. Pay attention to filler words that indicate nervousness in speech. Almost everyone uses filler words when speaking, but people tend to use them more when stressed. Liars might use this tactic to pause while they think about what to say next. On average, a person uses 5 filler words per minute, so count how many they use to see if it’s excessive.
- Filler words can also include phrases like “you know,” “I mean,” “uh,” and “like.”
- Remember that some people naturally use more filler words than others. Keep this in mind when making comparisons.
Phrases like “maybe” and “possibly”
Watch out for indirect, vague language. Some people use non-committal phrases to avoid outright lying. This is a way for them to dodge responsibility for providing false information.
- Notice the overuse of speculative words like “I think,” “maybe,” or “sort of” instead of definitive statements.
- For example, saying “Well, I think I just forgot that Kim and I had plans” sounds less honest than “I forgot that Kim and I had plans.”
Vague statements
Liars often use a “simplistic” approach when answering questions. Honest people have nothing to hide, so they tend to provide more details. Observe whether the person is comfortable mentioning names, describing activities, or outlining timelines. Liars might be so vague that they avoid using personal pronouns like “I.”
- For example, if you ask your partner, “What did you do last Friday night?” and they reply, “We went out,” this is suspiciously brief.
- If a coworker says, “Most of the shipments have been approved,” but can’t estimate how many or when they were processed, they might not be telling the truth.
Behavior that doesn’t match their usual personality
Trust your instincts if the other person’s behavior seems off. Someone lying might alter their usual habits to appear more trustworthy. They might act overly cheerful or optimistic. When trying to seem honest, they often avoid using negative language.
- If your usually talkative friend suddenly becomes quiet, something might be up.
- If a family member who’s typically relaxed suddenly speaks in a formal tone, they might be lying.
Defensive attitude
Liars often get irritated or aggressive when they feel caught. Does the person you’re talking to remain calm, or do they react defensively when questioned? If they vehemently deny something and insist excessively on their honesty, they’re likely trying to deceive you. Here are some ways a liar might defend themselves:
- They might play the victim. For example, they might say, “You’re always accusing me of doing things after work!”
- They might claim you’re being overly sensitive. Be wary of statements like, “You’re just being paranoid.”
- They downplay or justify their bad behavior. For instance, a manager might lie by saying, “I won’t credit you for closing that deal because it was a team effort, and you couldn’t have done it without the company’s new software.”
Changing the subject
Individuals who deceive often attempt to conclude conversations or 'buy time' using phrases like 'I’ll discuss this later.' If you notice someone abruptly changing the subject or making excuses about being busy, these are typically signs of dishonesty. Take a step back and assess the situation more broadly. Is the person genuinely occupied, or are they concealing something? To encourage them to continue discussing the topic, you might say:
- 'Can we focus on this issue? I really want to know where you’ve just been.'
- 'I’ve been looking forward to this conversation for a while, can we address it now?'
- 'This situation is really stressing me out. Can we come to a conclusion?'
Evading with laughter
Joking can also be a sign of stress or avoidance. Pay attention to sarcastic or jesting responses from the other person. If they downplay the issue, they might be minimizing their role in the matter and avoiding responsibility for their lies.
- The best way to handle sarcasm is to ignore it and respond with a serious statement.
- If someone laughs while you’re speaking, you might say, 'I know this might sound odd, but I really need an answer.'
Avoiding direct 'yes' or 'no' answers
Ask simple questions to force a direct response from someone who might be lying. When someone cannot answer a straightforward yes or no question, they are likely trying to avoid giving a truthful answer. This is a clear indicator of dishonesty! Additionally, if the person tries to turn the tables on you or makes you feel unreasonable for asking, these are also signs that they might be lying.
- For example, if you suspect your boyfriend is cheating, you might ask, 'Were you with Mai last Friday night?'
- If you think a friend is lying about excluding you, you could say, 'Did you and the group go to the movies last Saturday?'
Discussing the underlying issues behind lies
Some individuals lie because they feel unable to share the truth with you. Be open and ask questions to understand the other person's perspective. While it’s easy to assume that the liar is at fault, this might not always be the case! Use a calm and patient tone to ask for an explanation. They might be lying because they don’t feel comfortable expressing their thoughts to you. You can improve communication between both parties to uncover the root of the lie by asking questions like:
- 'I feel like we’re not understanding each other when we talk. What do you think is causing this?'
- 'Can you tell me what happened last Friday that made you come home early? Your message seemed angry even though you said everything was fine.'
- 'Hey, I noticed your timesheet seems off. Can you explain what’s going on?'
